Present Day...
Main POV
After flicking through the album some more with Wash, feeling less upset now I was going through it with a friend, he left me to it and I got back to unpacking. The room was actually pretty big. There was a single bed up against the wall on my left as soon as I walked in. A desk on the left hand wall and on the wall opposite the door a bookcase. Rightmost wall was a moderate sized built in wardrobe with a rack to hang various armour pieces. That would be helpful. There was also an awful lot of floorspace for such little furniture, you could almost fit a bunch more crap in here. There was an end table with a lamp at the foot of the bed, which struck me as odd.
So instead of unpacking, I busied myself with rearranging the room for better feng shui. I pushed the desk to sit on the wall opposite the door, along with the chair and put the lamp on the desk instead. The desk faced the door, the hard concrete wall a few feet from the chair that sat was a little better, I couldn't be caught unawares if I was facing the only entrance. I pushed the single bed to be pointing towards the wardrobe so when I was laying on my side I could watch the door. The end table got moved to the door side of the room, so I mount a handgun on the side of it, within easy reach. I moved the bookcase to the wall the desk had been on, decorating it with all the nicknacks and crap I'd brought with me, along with the photo album Wash and I had just been through.
I was kneeling on the chair behind the desk, writing in my journal when Wash stopped by again. I looked up at him as he looked around the room, putting the lid back on my fountain pen. My dad had given me this pen when I'd sat the exam for early acceptance into college, I was going to go into finance, be an accountant. The pen had been his father's, also an accountant, who'd been given it by his father, going on like this for generations. He said it was his turn to pass on the pen. Up until that point, I'd never known my dad had been to college, let alone had any job besides the military. He'd told me it wasn't for him, he'd wanted to save the world, but couldn't do that with math. Not yet. But he said he hoped some day I managed. I wonder if he'd be disappointed to see me here, not being an accountant like everyone else in the family had. Well, eccept mom, I didn't know what she did.
"You've been busy," Wash commented. Put the pen I'd been staring at down on the desktop.
"Yeah, still haven't unpacked my clothes yet, I guess I just got a little carried away," I replied and he nodded.
"I rearranged my room too when I first moved in," he said. "You get so used to having to have your own six, you don't realised everyone else is here to have your back. Eventually I moved things to the way they looked nice, not the way that would have the most advantage, should someone decide to invade in the middle of the night."
"What if they do?" I asked. He shrugged.
"We'll be okay," he said. "We have been so far."
After dinner I found myself restless. Too much was changing around here but not enough was happening. Being idle was painful. I had to go do something. But my armour was done, I'd finished unpacking. My journal was done. I didn't want to sob and look at pictures of my dead friends and I didn't really feel like playing with Caboose right now. I frowned.
I pulled on some sneakers and walked out of the base, deciding on going for another walk. It would either be relaxing or I could use it to familiarise myself with the map, in case something should happen. After a little while of running around in the setting sun I gave up. There was just nothing to do. I missed the Sand Fleas. They were fun, and they understood being antsy.
"What are you doing out here?" I asked, spying Tucker dressed in civvies and making his way across the canyon.
"It's poker night at the Red base," he shrugged. "Those idiots keep inviting me back even though I always beat them. It's like they want all their stuff taken."
"I imagine it's something like pride," I replied. "There's nothing more fragile than the male ego."
"Fine by me baby, just so long as I get to keep this up," he grinned. "You want anything? Seeing as I'm so go I'll bet something you want and bring it home to you later tonight. Unless that something is me, 'cause I can bring that around to you any time you want, bow chicka bow wow~"
"You really that good at poker?" I raised an eyebrow. I was under the impression you needed to be clever to play poker.
"Anything you want, you name it," he nodded and I rolled my eyes.
"Only thing I can think of would be a decent..." I smirked. "You know what, Tucker, if you're so good get me the bed from the Sergeants quarters." He cocked a brow at me.
"You want what?" he asked.
"I want a bigger bed," I explained. "If you're so good, make it happen."
"Alright," he grinned, reaching out to shake my hand. "Done."
Running up the side of the building and ducking in for cover, I called for North, his turn. He ran up past me and ducked for cover at the next available point, then I was my turn. We went like this over and over until we made it to the back door of the base. There was a small, half person sized ventilation shafter next to a roller door with a very intense lock.
"Damn it York," I sighed, realising the instructions he had given me for the lock were virtually useless.
"Okay, new plan," North told me, keeping an eye out behind me. "You think you can fit in that ventilation shaft?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "But we're not supposed to split up, the Director will be really mad if we do and he already seems to hate me. I'm not going in by myself."
"I'm not going to leave you by yourself," he told me. "I got the vent schematics this vent should come out right the door controls. All I need you to do is go into the vent, open the door and come back. We'll go in together."
"Okay," I nodded. He broke open the vent cover, easily and quietly, holding it out of the way for me to squat and shimmy in. I looked back, not that he could see the worry under my helmet. "Be careful, I'll be right back."
"You got it kiddo," he patted my shoulder once and turned to watch for incomings. I hated that, when he called me kid. He was only six years older than me, that wasn't much of an age gap, it was nothing. And I was 18 now, in a few more months I'd be 19. I wasn't some kid.
I pushed myself slowly through the vents and after a few minutes of crawling, I found the other end. I whispered I'd reached the end, trying to give him an update without getting caught. There were a few guards walking past the grate so I had to stay squashed inside the vent a little longer. Once I was in the clear I pushed the vent open, sticking an arm out and smacking the door release. I quickly shoved myself back in the vent and out through the tunnel. I was halfway down the vent when I heard anything from North.
"Shit, stay in the vents, there's an inbound bogie coming up on my display," North told me and I could hear him breathing kinda heavily as he ran for cover. "Ah shit, Dee, I'm the distraction. I need you to go get those files, they're pouring out the open door, I left it too long."
"North," I hissed.
"It's okay Dee, you've got this," he told me and I grumbled, pushing myself back to the door controls and climbing out of the vents, carefully trying to avoid being seen. Thankfully, whatever North was doing, drew everyone to his position.
I ran through the compound, a few rooms over, remembering where Carolina had told us to hit. She York and Wash were off on the other side of the building, doing something else and North and I had gone round the back. We were supposed to have South but she got taken off missions temporarily for failing a mission and then mouthing off at the Director. I hated her guts and I was excited I'd get to spend a mission alone with North but it did mean we were without the extra hands, which would have been pretty useful about now.
I ducked in, slipping my drive into the side of the computer and going to crouch by the door, gun cocked and at the ready. I didn't like this. Something felt off. I was just being superstitious, I'd taken York's bandana off my wrist, intending on giving it back to him when the mission was over. It was hanging in my locker, miles from enemy fire. The drive beeped, indicating the transfer was complete. I sighed in relief, staying low as I hurried back over to retrieve it. The doors burst open and two Insurrectionists burst in.
"Shit, Insurrectionists, what are they doing here," I said over the group radio, forgetting to localise it to North and I's channel.
"How many?" Carolina demanded, instantly snapping into business, not scolding me on using the wrong chat.
"Just two," I said.
"Hey, what are you doing?" One of them said, only just now noticing me squatting by the console. I grabbed the drive from the computer and pressed the wipe button on the whole system, trying to run out of the room.
"You should be able to handle it, North's with you," Carolina said.
"See here's the thing," I replied, dodging a punch. "OW!"
"I fail to see how that has any bearing on the situation," York joked.
"North's not here right now," I confessed, wrestling against the grabby arms of the soldier I was fighting. I jammed the drive into my helmet, leaping away from the solier, commanding the suit to transfer and wipe from the drive. One of them flew after me and I kicked him into the side of the computer. The other swore as he realised what I'd done to the computer. They chased me around the massive servers in the room, trying to get the drive off of me.
"What do you mean North's not here?" Carolina seethed.
"We needed a distraction," North chimed. "Newbie, get out of there."
"I'm trying," I called back, throwing a server at one of the soldiers. I leapt up onto the desk in front of the giant computer and jumped on the head of the soldier not currently under a computer server. I used him as a springboard and ran out of the room, forgetting to check my surrounds. "Okay, more than two.."
"Newbie," Carolina warned.
"Buy me some time," North said. "I'm on my way."
"Uhm," I replied back nervously, staring at a full strike team of Insurrectionists. "Okay please hurry," I squeaked. "So," I said to the group. "I take it you're breaking in too, that's nice.."
"Hand over the drive," the one in front of me demanded. I stared back at them. Was no too blunt? The transfer complete notification popped up on my HUD display and then was immediately followed by a successful wipe notification.
"Okay," I agreed slowly, then I reached up for the drive sticking out the side of my helmet and slowly pulled it, bringing my hand forward to hand it to him. I pulled my arm back and slowly stepped back away from them, taking step after step while they stared at their leader. I was almost at the stairs for the cargo bay North and I were supposed to entre via when their leader started yelling.
"THIS IS EMPTY," he screamed and they all snapped their heads to me. "You wiped it, she's got the info, get her!"
"Okay guys not messing around now, really need help," I said and ran to the railing, jumping over the side and landing in a roll. No time for stairs. I could hear gunfire closeby and some behind me. North burst into the cargo area already firing at the soldiers who had been hot on my tail. I ran over to him and started firing at the strike team on the stairs.
"We got this, Newbs, don't worry," North told me and I nodded. I had North now, we'd be fine. We were surrounded but the others were coming, all was had to do was hold them off until Carolina got here. She could take all these guys on her own, and she was bringing back up. We had this in the bag.
"Don't worry, Dee, we're coming," York told me and I smiled. He was like the big brother I never knew I wanted.
I let off another stream of shots, taking out a row of soldiers. I stepped back as I fired, turning to stand back to back with North as we took out team members. Things were going well until my MA58 Assault Rifle ran out of ammunition. I pulled the trigger a few times hearing naught but the clicking in return. Damn. I reached for the combat knives strapped to my waist as a guy with a flame thrower approached. I threw the knife at him and hit him in the shoulder, making him drop his weapon. I ran at him and leapt up into the air, feet slamming into his chest plate and making him stumble backwards. I leapt off again, force knocking him to the ground. I swung my leg back and kicked him in the gut as far as I could away from us and his weapon.
I turned on my heel just to see North take a hit. I screamed out. I looked to where the shot came from and saw a sleeveless soldier taking aim, a headshot in site. I pushed off from the ground, running as fast as my legs would take me. I saw I wasn't going to make it, I threw myself up, leaping off the ground to block the shot with my body instead of shoving him out of the way. I hit the ground, clutching my stomach as the sting of the bullet prentrating my armour followed. I groaned and threw myself up, staggering.
"Newbie," North cried out, pushing himself up as he tried to defend the both of us. I pulled a glass canister of biofoam and crushed it in my gloved palms, applying it to the wound on my abdomen. I could feel the tear tracks running down my cheeks, I knew getting shot would happened evernutally and it would hurt, but I didn't think that day would be today and it would hurt this much.
"I'm okay," I stuttered.
I stabilised myself on the ground, activating my gravity boots to help before I released them once I'd found my balance. I reached for another knife from my belt and turned to the side, only to come into direct contact with a fist. I landed on the floor with a clatter. Fuck. This was too much, I couldn't stay awake.
"Armour, execute system command. Command, upload datafile 616 AHB to Mother of Invention Mains," I said, holding back a moan. I needed to be as clear as possible.
"System command accepted, data file transfer initiating," I heard FILSS reply. Spots appeared over my vision.
"Armour, execute system command," I groaned. "Command, password protect all files."
"System command accepted, please set password," FILSS replied and I manually set a a numerical password, feeling the darkness begin to take me over. "Password accepted."
Several Years Ago...
Washington POV
We burst through the cargo bay doors and I threw myself with York over the railing onto the ground floor, landing in a roll and immediately providing cover fire. I spotted North struggling to stand and fight off the strike team surrounding him. I searched, where was Newbie? I couldn't see her until York and I were able to take out a stream of soldiers with their backs turned. I saw Newbie laying on the ground, limp and unresponsive.
"No," I said out loud, praying she was just knocked out.
"Wash," I heard Carolina call. "Get to Newbie."
"I'm on my way," I replied and York helped me clear a path. She didn't need to tell me twice. She didn't need to tell me once. I didn't know I'd been missing my childhood best friend until she joined the project, but once she had I remembered what it was like to have someone in your life who just got you. And I wasn't about to lose her again. I fought my way over, seeing North drop beside me as someone punched me in the side of the head. I stumbled slightly, not making it over to where her body lay in time. Two soldiers pulled her body off the ground and turned.
"Carolina!" I screamed over the radio.
"I'm on it," she said and I could see a turquoise blur headed towards the two solders and I tried to take out as many people headed their way as possible. I saw York head to the struggling North who was screaming about someone getting to New Hampshire. But it was about as useful as I had been, trying to get to her. We managed to clear out all the soldiers and the strike team, carrying the severely injured North back to 479r's extraction ship.
Carolina was stood inside, already waiting for us. I looked at her, she stared back at us for a moment before she moved to the row of seats, lifting the frame so we could get him in his chair. She lowered the cage, keeping him upright before turning towards the cockpit. I stepped forward, reaching our for her, I grabbed her shoulder. I hadn't seen Newbie. She turned back to me.
"Dianna?" I asked. She shook her head, pulling out of my grasp and heading to the cockpit.
"Damn it," I cried out, throwing myself into my seat as the ship doors began to close.
"Is she dead?" York asked.
"No," Carolina replied.
"That's good," he said and I turned to glare at him, not that he could see.
"How?" I demanded.
"We can get her back," he replied simply, hint of determination on his words.
As soon as we were back there was a med-team waiting and we helped North onto the gurney, he was taken away for surgery immediately. I could hear him agitatedly muttering as he was wheeled away. Apparently I wasn't the only one beating themselves up about what had happened. York and I waited by the observation window by the theatre room until South got there, angrily screaming about what had happened to her brother. I didn't take much note of the yelling, how could I? One of my best friends was in theatre, the other was god knows where. And Carolina was nowhere to be found.
"What happened?" I heard and turned to see Tex standing beside York and myself.
"They discovered team 2, North got shot, Newbie got taken," York explained.
Tex didn't say anything else, she simply exited out the door she came through and we didn't see her again. I didn't see any of the female freelancers for a while, I mostly hung out with York, waiting to hear about North. Maine and Wyoming kept to themselves, training at different times and eating lunch with Massachusetts. They'd been distant for a while, even before Newbie was taken. It took two days until North was allowed visitors. His bullet wounds weren't too serious, but the med-staff wanted to make sure there was zero risk of infection and take every possible step for him to recover quickly. We seemed to be having a run of botched missions lately. It was strange, it was like they knew we were coming.
"Team," the Director said as we all stood to attention around the briefing room. Even North had made an appearance after day 5 since the incident. "I'd like to make it clear, I'm not blaming any Agent for how the mission panned out, it's become clear there is a mole in the system. And it's also become clear it was none of the Agents here in briefing."
I looked around, North, Carolina, York and myself, but why South, she wasn't even on this mission. He paced in front of us, looking vaguely troubled, but it didn't quite meet his eyes. Like his mind was elsewhere.
"We're also incredibly proud of the Team's efforts to keep the information from falling into enemy hands, when the odds were so steeply stacked against us, Project Freelancer prevailed and that's down to you astounding agents," he told us. "Why even New Hampshire did her part, choosing to fall rather than hand over datafiles. However, I am sure you know how this mission could have gone better, South Dakota."
"Excuse me?" She spat. Oh, this was why she was here. "I wasn't even on that mission."
"Exactly," he told her. "I'm sure you now understand the value of keeping your sass to yourself when dealing with your commanding officers. As, had you been able to keep your mouth shut, you would have accompanied team two on their stealth mission. Had you have gone along, they might have had the numerical advantage against the Insurrection."
"Are you serious?" she demanded, throwing her helmet to the side. "That bitch better be dead, I'm not getting blamed for her mistakes again. This was not my fault."
"Agent Carolina, Agent York, give us an update on the situation," the Director said, ignoring South's outburst.
"Well, we have good news and bad news," York started. "Newbie uploaded a file to the ship before she was taken, and from watching that we were able to tell she was able to wipe the computer after extracting the data. And when she was confronted by the strike team, she uploaded the files to her helmet and wiped the drive before she handed it over. So all they received was an empty drive. Which leads us to believe this was why they grabbed her."
"I take it that's the good news," the Director said. Carolina nodded.
"The files New Hampshire extracted were far to large to have been uploaded in such a short amount of time, even if she had have tried. In the window of opportunity she had, Newbie uploaded the mission log to let us know what happened and password protected the files stored in her armour's databanks. So while the enemy doesn't have the data, neither do we," Carolina explained.
"That won't be a problem," the director concluded. "So long as Agent New Hampshire activated her distress beacon the Mother of Invention should be able to remote access her armour and retrieve the information we extracted. Her sacrifice will not be in vain. It may take a few days to crack the encryption, but we can have the information and then wipe her armour. It will be expensive to replace, but the information she protected is invaluable."
"Actually," York replied. "That's only so true. They have Newbie."
"That's a sinister thought," Carolina replied.
"Are you suggesting the enemy may be able to crack the password on Agent Hampshire's databanks faster than we can, even after the extensive cybersecurity training she underwent?" the Director demanded.
"Even if they could, there are quicker ways to get information," York replied.
"It's been known to happen," Carolina agreed. The Director frowned. He stood there, glaring at the floor paneling for a few moments, before nodding to himself and looking up.
"Agents, we will be using Agent New Hampshire's distress beacon to track the location of her armour," he said. "You will then launch a retrieval mission for it, valuable Project Freelancer technology must not fall into enemy hands, and neither can that information."
"And Diana?"
I snapped my head around. What was she doing here? I didn't even know Tex was in the room. She was stood a few feet from the Director, having stalked over to him when she spoke. She crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for a response.
"You're retrieving her armour, not her?" Tex demanded.
"Agent New Hampshire made the ultimate sacrifice," he replied. "I won't put that in jeopardy risking the retrieval of her armour and the information trying to find her, now she's separated from it."
"She's being tortured, wherever she is and I'm not leaving her there. When we go in for that armour we go in for her as well, or you can kiss my ass goodbye, Church," Tex replied. "If you're right, and she did sacrifice herself for this mission then the Project owes her a life debt, and I intend on bringing her back, while she still has one we can return."
"You don't mean that," the Director replied. "You wouldn't leave the Project over one agent. Where would you go?"
"It's not one agent, it's Diana," Tex replied. "And when I go, you'll never find me. So you'd better help me bring her back or you won't see me again."
"Since you care so much, Agent Texas, you are leading the rescue mission, Agent Carolina will handle the armour retrieval."
"Yes sir," Carolina replied.
The Director left the room, leaving it up to the agents present to plan the operation. It would be a task in itself trying to get Carolina and Tex to coordinate this mission, let alone getting on location and pulling it off. Tex walked up to the table, it was unusual to see her unarmored. There was a clear worry on her face, it was no secret she's always had a soft spot for the younger blonde. Carolina looked at her, they stared at each other for a long moment before the redhead nodded once and went back to the location map in front of her.
"Wash," Carolina said. "You'll be with me. We're going in this side of the base where the tech specialists are. I'll leave you York," she told Tex who simply nodded.
"I hope your work with illegal homemade fireworks has taught you a thing or two about explosives," Tex said and York grinned.
"I want in," North said. Tex turned to him.
"Easy buddy," York told him. "We're going to bring her home, don't worry. We just need you to recover."
"No," he said. "She took a hit for me, if she hadn't gotten shot they wouldn't have been able to take her. Even before that, I was the one that sent her into the ventilation shaft. She told me it was a bad idea and I ignored her. This whole thing is my fault, I have to bring her home."
"Its not your fault," Tex told him. "But if you say you're good, then I could use all the help I can get bringing her home to me."
I didn't comment at the time, how odd that phrasing was. Or anything she'd said since making her presence in the room. How the Director's face had changed when Tex had referred to her as Diana not Newbie or New Hampshire. How he'd looked when she'd threatened to leave. And by the look on York and Carolina's faces, they'd noticed it too. North simply looked happy Tex had relented so easily.
Present Day...
New Hampshire POV
I came to again to find myself still hung by the wrists, head lolled backwards. I wasn't sure how long I was out for this time, now I was out of the box. My skin was still caked in dried in blood. I blinked in the low light, trying to get my brain to function properly. I was cold, why was I cold? I was in my underwear, that's right. I remembered from training the 13 Enhanced Interrogation Techniques.
7, nudity. Humiliate the prisoner by means of partial or full undress.
8, stress positions. Stimulate mid discomfort by forcing the prisoner into strenuous positions like arms above the head or kneeling for prolonged periods of time.
And I'd been in a crate when I'd arrived, that was number 3, cramped confinement. Put the prisoner in a box big enough to stand in for up to 18 hours or in my case a box only big enough to curl up in for reccomended up to 2 hours. By my judgment, which was pretty good back then, I'd been in there for about three and a half.
I knew they were certainly trying to do number 9, sleep deprivation but because of my injuries, I kept passing out. Which might be working out in my favour, torture, psychological or physical, can't be inflicted if I'm out cold. And that just bought me more time, I just had to give it a little longer, my friends were coming.
"They're not coming for you princess," the sleeveless soldier told me. "Give up on that hope now, if not for giving me what I want, than for the peace of mind you'll get at the end."
"Somehow, I don't think I'll be getting that peace of mind either way," I replied. "So I might hold onto this one just a bit longer."
"Have it your way, sweetie, I'll just have to break you some more," he replied. He wandered around me, looking me up and down. I was covered in blood and before it had dried, all the concrete dust and dirt coating the floor had stuck to me. That and the sweat was enough to make my skin crawl, but that wasn't why it was. No, that fell to my captor. He was plenty creepy enough to carry that role himself.
"Princess, you're filthy," he said, noticing what I had. "Perhaps a little shower might soften you up, hey? Make you change your mind? I'm sure you're familiar with the 13. Let's try out that last one."
13, water dousing. Unlike waterboarding which was localised specifically to one's face, dousing had a naked prisoner held down and ice cold water rained down upon them. Or if you had a tarp you'd get trapped in the bathtub technique and forced to feel the unrelenting cold much longer. I supposed, the bathtub one might be more preferable, surely your body heat would raise the temperature eventually, if you were bing pinned and repeatedly doused, your body would lose heat too quickly and you'd become numb, you'd shut down.
He instructed my two guards to help him, and I was put in a headlock and pinned to the dusty ground. I didn't ask where the hose had come from, or why I hadn't seen it until now. I was too preoccupied with picking the right moment to breathe. I cold feel the icy water making me gasp and I tried to fight it, keep my mouth shut to stop the water from forcing itself into my lungs. The blood and dirt that had once caked my skin was washing off, at least, but so too was the clotting from my various wounds. The biofoam I'd applied to my gunshot wound which had solidified and halted it's degradation was washing off my skin too. That was my largest problem. If the wound got worse, I might die here before the others could get to me.
I shot up in bed, covered in a thick layer of sweat, a scream too far out of my mouth to silence. My sheets were in a tangle around me as I looked around frantically. I didn't know what I was looking for exactly, but having not found it, I could feel my heart rate decreasing. I reached up to touch my face, my cheeks were wet with semi-fresh tears. I shook, I hadn't had a nightmare like that for a long time. I wanted Wash. Would it be wrong of me to go wake him up just so he could calm me down? There was a knock at my door, making me jump. I suppose my screaming was probably loud enough to wake him up on its own, no need for me to seek him out.
"Just a sec," I yelled out, trying to free myself from my blankets.
"Newbie, are you okay in there," I heard Tucker call out as I was halfway to the door. Not who I was expecting.
"I'm fine," I told him, from behind the door.
"Are you sure?" he asked, knocking on the door some more. I sighed an opened it. He looked me up and down as soon as I did. "I heard the screaming, judging by all the sweat that was either a nightmare or some hardcore masturbation. And baby you know I can help you out either way, bow chicka bow wow."
I laughed. That was one way to bring me back into reality. I rubbed the back of my neck, sweat making me itch. I hated this feeling, the grime brought back memories I'd rather forget.
"Yeah," I replied. "I'm sure."
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked and I shook my head. "Alright, you always know where I am if you change your mind. And you come wake me up if you need to, anytime."
"I'll keep that in mind," I replied and stepped out the door. I needed a shower.
Washington POV
I woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and confused. It was almost like I was in another time. I was back there again, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got the dreams again. Now Newbie was back in my life paired with the knowledge that Wyoming was still alive and out there somewhere filled me with dread. The frightened screams of her echoed throughout my head, almost like they were happening in the next room. It was like I was back there, it had been so real. I was in her hospital room, staying by her side as she screamed and writhed in the sheets, struggling to remember what was real and what wasn't. And when I'd had Epsilon implanted, I'd understood much better.
I saw her fighting against the restraints holding her to the bed and sighed. I knew they were for her own good, so she didn't hurt herself when she was thrashing around but at the same time, was tying up someone who had just come back from being held captive really such a good idea? I wondered what the dream was this time. She let out a harrowing sob and I paused, she stopped fighting as hard, she was only reaching for her face this time, trying to wipe away the tears. So she was awake.
"It's okay," I said, alerting her to my presence, walking over to a tissue box by the side of her bed. "I'm here Dee, I'm with you."
I dabbed at her wet cheeks and cleared off all the salt. She looked up at me softly, grateful but still pitiful looking. My heart ached. This most certainly was not where I saw our lives going when we were kids looking up at the stars. I always thought I'd be a teacher, suit and tie teaching about space or plants or something. I always thought she'd be some kind of judo instructor or a boxing champion, because she was all about her fists even then. Which was probably why her time over enemy lines was hitting her so hard, she was a fighter and they'd taken away her ability to fight back.
"David," she cried out, new tears spilling out of her eyes. I dabbed at her cheeks again, stroking her hair with my other hand.
"I'm here," I told her. She's been refusing to see a lot of people. Tex and myself were the only ones she'd let in, I supposed I should feel special. But when someone you love is this bad a state, it sorta puts everything in perspective.
"Can you please untie me?" she asked after a moment. "Just for a little while."
I didn't take any convincing, I pulled at the straps, keeping her confined to the bed. I knew she wouldn't run, not from me. She's never been afraid of dorky little David, she wasn't about to start now. As soon as I'd released her legs and then arms she pushed herself up into a sitting position and threw her legs over the side of her bed. I was still caught off guard at first, when she threw her arms around me but I melted into the hug. She clung to me and started convulsing in a new set of sobs. I rubbed her back, stroked her hair.
"I'm here, you're safe," I told her. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm here."
"Can I.. can I ask you something?" she stuttered after a little while. She pulled away, almost wanting to hide her face. I pushed some hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She pulled away, clearly embarrassed about what she was going to ask.
"What's up?" I tried.
"I've been refusing the sponge baths," she told me. "I hate the feeling of someone else's hands on me. I know the nurses here mean no harm, but I can't stand it. And being tied to a bed while someone is wiping me down with a wet rag is humiliating. At least the bag guys used a hose."
"You want me to make them let you shower?" I asked and she nodded. I smiled softly. "I can help with that. Is that all you wanted?" she shook her head, a deep blush settling in her cheeks. "What?" I almost laughed. She was never shy.
"I uh.." she paused. "I need help."
"Oh," I replied. That made sense. "You want me to help you over to the bathroom. I can do that." I nodded enthusiastically and walked over to the new place she'd settled when she'd pulled away. I hoisted her up off the bed and brought her down slowly to the ground. I held my arm around her waist as we walked across the tiled floor to the bathroom cubicle at the end of the ward.
"It's more than that," she said softly. "They won't let me take showers unsupervised in case I collapse. They don't think I'm strong enough they say. I think it's incase I slit my wrists in the bathroom."
"Are you going to?" I asked and she shook her head.
"My dad would be so mad," she replied and I looked down at her. What the..?
"I know it's such a stupid reason to not kill yourself. But as horrible as I feel right now, as much as I wished they'd just killed me, as I wish you'd not come get me and I'd died... I'm not done here. I'm tired, I'm struggling but my dad would be so angry with me if I gave up. I feel like I can't do this, it's too much, it's so much and I can't, but my dad thinks I can. And if I was to try kill myself in that bathroom, I think he might come back from the dead just to kick my ass."
"Sounds like the Javier I remember," I replied, she smiled softly against my chest, head just under my armpit as I helped shoulder her weight to the bathroom. "So what do you need from me?"
"I don't want this to overstep the bounds of our friendship but.." she stuttered. "Will you come in with me? Will you help me? I don't want it to be a stranger. They always want to come in with me, and I don't want their help. I can't.. I can't cope with their hands on me. It feels like them, I can't.."
"It's okay," I soothed, stopping on the way to the bathroom. Holding her in my arms. "I'm here. Not them. I'm here. And I'll come with you. You're my best friend, there's nothing you could ever ask me that would be too much. I love you."
"I love you," she cried out, tears spilling out over her cheeks again and I wiped them away with my thumbs. Her cheeks must be burning by now, the amount she cries. I just wanted to take that away, stop all this.
We started moving again and I held the bathroom door open for her, closing it behind us. I moved away from the door to turn the shower on and she turned back for the door, flicking the lock closed as she glared at the door. I could picture her mentally cursing the nursing staff. To be fair, they had been a little brash with her this whole time. Despite this ship having a counsellor, we weren't really equiped to deal with any mental health issues and trauma.
She made her way back over to me, bare feet padding across the slightly wet tiles. She paused in front of me, looking at me expectantly. I reached for her and she turned around, oh. She wanted my help. I pulled at the ties of her hospital gown and watched the fabric drop to the ground, pooling at our feet. She took a shaky step out towards the running water, uneasy footing but she got there. She moved to turn and slipped, I reached out to grab her arms and once she was steady, let her go again. I bent down by the sink, going through the cabinets to find some soap and shampoo and stuff for her to use. There was a hard knocking at the door and I looked up from my spot in the corner.
"The nurses," she muttered suspiciously. I almost smirked.
"Wash, you'd better be in there with Newbie, not on some stupid jail break across the ship," I heard Carolina yell.
"Yeah," I called back. "We're in here."
"Why the hell are you two locked in the bathroom together?" she demanded.
"Send her away," Dee hissed. I looked back at her and raised a brow, she made an angry shooing motion with her hands.
"Only if you promise not to fall and kill yourself while I'm over at the door," I said in a low voice. She took hold of the safety rail with both hands, white knuckling it and looking at me expectantly. I shook my head and then walked over to the door. I unlocked the door, poking my head out.
"What's going on," Carolina snapped. "Should she be out of bed right now?"
"Probably not," I answered honestly. "She's been refusing sponge baths, the nurses told me that before she did when I came in. She's also refusing to let them in here with her to supervise, so we're compromising."
"The nurses just called me to say you visited and now she was missing," Carolina replied. "I'll go calm them down if you think you got this. Do you need anything?"
"Bring her something of hers," I replied. "Pyjamas, a blanket... This place is too impersonal. She needs to be comforted."
"I also need chocolate," she called from the shower and I coughed. Carolina smirked.
"Well, at least she's got more life in her than she did yesterday," she said and I smiled. Every day got just a little bit better. "I'll see what I can do."
I closed the door and locked it again, headed over to where Newbie was looking pale. She had been standing up too long. I grabbed the chair they kept in here for exactly this and placed it beside her. She moved away from the hand rail slowly.
"It's okay, we're not running out of water anytime soon," I told her. "Sit, rest, take your time." she nodded, looking embarrassed. "Dee, you got shot, that alone is hard enough to recover from. You did that and managed to survive weeks over enemy lines. You're not the energiser bunny, you do need to take breaks from time to time." she snorted.
"Energiser bunny, that's a new one," she said and rolled her head back, letting the hot water pour over her face and head.
Eventually, when she'd gotten her strength back she asked me to help her up and I hoisted her to her feet again. I went back to the sink and handed her some shampoo which she scrubbed through her hair. She still looked pretty tired. I handed her a bar of soap and she started up a lather in her hands, rubbing them over her body. She looked like she was about to drop and I threw myself forward, trying to catch her before she fell. She gasped, flinching away from me and throwing herself at the tiled wall. I paused. Shit. She looked back up at me and the realisation spread across her face. New tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill.
"It's David," she whispered. "It's David. Of course it's you," she pushed off the wall and threw her arms around me. "I'm so sorry."
"It is David, it's me," I told her as I stood under the spray, water and my soaking wet friend drenching the front of my shirt and jeans. My shoes were already squelching wet and the spikes I'd styled into my hair this morning were now flat against my head. I rested my head on top of hers as she buried her face in my chest. I cradled her head and held her just as tightly as she was holding me.
"I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over and I had my own mantra.
"It's okay, I'm here, I'm here," I told her. "It's David and I'm here. It's okay."
I could feel my own tears falling from my eyes as I held her, how could this happen? It was always the worst people that went through this. Why couldn't trauma and struggles be brought to the very worst of humanity, not the people that kept the light in the world? But that was what made the bad guys bad, they wanted to wipe everything good from this world. Even though she was broken, I was glad I had her. Diana. My whole world.
I threw myself out of my tangled up sheets. I practically ran to my bedroom door, heart racing again as I heard the screams echo over and over again in my head. I needed to see her. I barely felt the cold concrete floor of the base as I jogged across it in bare feet, heart hammering loudly in my chest as I reached the next room. I stood outside, bleary eyed and banging on the door. To hell if I woke her up. I needed to be sure she was really here, that she was okay. There was no answer. I hammered harder.
I threw open the door, not waiting a second longer for her answer only to find her bed empty. I threw the light on, wincing at the harsh, unforgiving fluorescents. I threw my arm up, shielding my eyes before I looked around. Her sheets were in a tangle on her bed, and there was no sign of life anywhere. Was she okay? Where had she gone?
"Wash?" I heard from behind me and spun around. She was stood in the doorway, soaking wet hair and in a towel. "What's wrong?"
"I..." I stuttered. I closed the distance between us. "You were gone.."
"I needed a shower," she told me. "The nightmares came back," she explained and I nodded, understanding. "You too?"
"Yeah," I answered and she closed the space between us, wrapping her arms around my abdomen. She burred her face in my sweaty t-shirt and I rested my head on her wet hair, breathing in the scent of regulation shampoo. She was okay.
"I'm here," she told me. "We're okay."