Trigger warning: There is a lot of dysphoria with Adam because of what he is going through. His experience is something that trans men can go through but it may be triggering so please read with caution. If you're concerned, please send me a PM and I can tell you the reason why so you can choose to read his section or not. And regardless of what he's going through, Adam is a man, end of story. I won't tolerate any comments stating otherwise.
Chapter 8:
Adam Vignola, 18, District Seven
Three Weeks Before The Reaping
Adam doesn't know how much more he can handle right now.
So much sadness in one place…every crying face Adam sees just makes himself feel worse, on top of the disbelief still going through him. Somehow, despite hearing the news a week ago and seeing the body in the casket, he simply cannot believe that he's gone. It doesn't matter if their relationship ended seven months ago. Adam still loves him and always will. But there is always going to be a hole in his life.
The large funeral party comes to a stop at the forest, ready for the final sendoff for Cedar. He didn't know most of the people here and didn't realize just how many people knew Cedar…but he's not surprised. Cedar was a good person… Adam whimpers as he clutches his stomach as pain shoots through it and he hunches over. His friend Ezzie grabs onto his shoulders, giving him support as she rubs his back, but there's no stopping the pain. Not until he just lets the false contractions just end. "Deep breaths. You'll get through it. I'm here for you."
A minute passes and the contractions start to subside, getting replaced with a sickly feeling in his chest as he stares down at his swollen belly. How is he still handling this? He thought the dysphoria was bad for years before knowing that was what it was. And then to finally figure it all out, finally be comfortable in his identity…for this to happen…
"Just remember how excited you are going to be to see your baby in a month," Ezzie whispers to him as Cedar's father steps forward, carrying the small pot containing dirt mixed with Cedar's ashes and a small cedar tree sapling. It's a beautiful ceremony, having the person give back to the forest and help bring new life with their death…but why did it have to be Cedar? But…Ezzie is right. Somehow she knows exactly where his thoughts have gone and have reminded him of the reason why he's going through all the miserable changes to his body that makes him question why he's doing this almost daily as he watches his body change against his will. The changes that have made him deal with more dysphoria and misgendering than Adam ever experienced before even realizing he's trans…
Because Cedar's given more life than just the small sapling that Mr. Martinez is planting now. Adam holds his swollen stomach, saddened at the thought that his child is never going to know his other father. What if they look like Cedar? Or what if they resent that they don't have two parents?
But…a very small selfish part of him that usually isn't there is happy knowing Cedar will still always be part of his life.
Tears are flowing freely down his face now as Anton Martinez turns around to face the crowd and give final words to Cedar. Seeing the pain on his face just makes Adam sob even more, hating to see so many people in sorrow right now. And, well, maybe the pregnancy hormones are making his response worse.
"Cedar…" Anton lets out a shaky sigh as he tries to collect his thoughts. A man who is without a doubt his brother steps forward, putting a comforting hand on Anton's shoulder and silently providing support as four more people step forward to give support to Anton as he tries to speak. "No words can describe the person that Cedar was. He…he was the best son I could have ever asked for. He always put the needs of others above his own, yet he always stood up for what he believed was right…"
Adam grabs on to Ezzie's hand as Mr. Martinez stares down at the ground, trying to find the words to say goodbye to his son. "He died doing what he loved and fighting for what he believed in. His life was taken too soon…but his death was not in vain…"
Adam scrunches his face in confusion as he stares at Cedar's father, but he seems to be one of the few people confused by what his father said. He thought…he thought Cedar died in a logging accident? That was what Carina Martinez had told him when she snuck out against her father's wishes to tell Adam that Cedar was gone… Was the younger girl wrong?
"Goodbye, Cedar…" Anton Martinez says quietly, turning back to look down at the ashes he buried and will provide for a new life. "Your memory will live on and we will keep fighting for what you believed in."
With that, he steps over to the side with his small group, allowing others the chance to step forward and say a final farewell to Cedar Martinez. Adam slowly steps forward, clutching Ezzie's arm and using her as both emotional and physical support, struggling to be on his swollen feet for extended time now. He lingers back, watching as others he doesn't know step forward first, feeling his heart keep breaking as he watches varying levels of sorrow on all of their faces. His heart aches from all the sadness, along with the burning feeling he's had for the last week, thanks to the baby.
"Do you want me to go up with you?" Ezzie whispers to him as they get closer to their turn. He can hear her voice shaking and one glance at her face shows how much she's struggling to keep it all together for his sake.
"I want to do this alone," Adam answers her, knowing he needs to have the closure on his own. His friend has already done so much for him and he can see how much Cedar's death is hurting her too. After all, she's been Adam's friend for years and was there through his entire relationship with Cedar. "Go ahead and say goodbye to him first."
"Okay," Ezzie nods her head and looks like she wants to protest, but instead turns to go kneel in front of Cedar's final resting place.
Adam silently watches her, tears still falling as he clutches his stomach, wishing he could feel a bit of movement right now from his baby and get some comfort from them. Every little nudge is just a reminder that these long months will be so worth it.
All too soon, Ezzie moves and Adam knows it's his turn, yet he struggles to move forward. He doesn't want to do this because saying goodbye is going to truly mean that Cedar is gone. But his feet slowly move forward and Ezzie helps him kneel down before taking a few steps back, giving Adam the space he needs to say goodbye privately.
"Cedar…" Adam starts, letting out a shaky breath as his hand reaches out to touch one of the few leaves on the sapling. He tries to remember exactly how the sapling feels, knowing all too soon it will be too tall for him to touch the leaves. "I know we haven't been together in months…but I still love you. And I'm going to keep loving you, no matter if you're gone."
Adam pauses, wiping away at his tears just for them to be replaced quickly with fresh ones. He puts his hands on his stomach, knowing Cedar is going to keep being with him and it's going to hurt so much. "Every day I'm going to be reminded of you and while it's going to hurt for a while, I know eventually I'm going to enjoy the reminder that you're still part of my life, even though you're gone… And someday I'm going to bring our child here and sit under the shadow of the tree and tell them all about how amazing you were."
Adam leans back, choking out a sob and wiping away at his eyes, struggling to see through the blur of tears. Two people step forward and take his hands, helping him stand up. They lead him away from Cedar's grave and Ezzie rubs his back soothingly. "Th-tha-thank you," Adam barely gets out, trying to look at the other person who helped him. He doesn't recognize the girl standing in front of him, looking worn out and frail, but still concerned for him despite not knowing him at all.
"You're welcome," she says quietly as Adam keeps trying to wipe away the tears he can't seem to stop. "Did you…did you know Cedar well?"
"Yeah…" Adam says and looks down at his swollen stomach, rubbing a hand over it. "We dated for a while…"
The girl follows Adam's gaze to his stomach before her eyes widen and a range of emotions pass over her face, from shock to realization to determination. When she brings her gaze up to Adam's again, the tears are gone from her eyes. "I grew up with him… I hadn't seen him in a couple years because I…moved away for a bit. But I loved him like he was my brother…" She pauses for a second to glance back at the sapling and when she turns back to Adam, her eyes a full of tears again. "I wish I could have known more about him since I've been gone… Maybe after we've grieved we could talk? And maybe after you've had…his child?"
"Yeah, they're his child," Adam sadly answers her, watching her face get a strange look on it that he simply cannot figure out, which only confuses him. He only hopes she isn't going to start questioning him being pregnant or worse, start asking him if he's excited to be a mother. He really wouldn't be able to handle that right now. Not with everything else happening. He quickly continues, hoping to keep the girl from saying anything that will just further upset him, "And I'd like to know more about his childhood… I want to be able to tell our child all about Cedar someday."
The girl smiles at this and nods her head before taking a step back. "I will gladly do that. But I should get back to his family…"
"Wait, I never got your name," Adam says quickly as she starts to turn around.
She pauses and steps back over to him, hesitating for a moment before holding out her hand to him. "Khaya… Khaya Christian."
"Adam," he tells her as he shakes her hand. "And…I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah," Khaya gives him a faint smile before turning back around to return to the Martinez family.
Adam watches her, feeling a bit of relief in his chest that he'll have someone with him to help teach his child all about Cedar. Ezzie rubs his shoulder and he turns towards his friend, finding her smiling gently at him. "She seems nice… But if you're ready, let's get you home. It's not good to be on your feet for so long."
Adam leans back against the juniper tree in his backyard, always going to this spot as a child when he needed time to think. He just needs to find some peace to come to terms with Cedar's death. Now that he's said goodbye, he knows he needs to move forward and focus on the upcoming birth. Yet it's hard to do when just thinking about his child is a constant reminder of Cedar and at this point, it's so hard constantly feeling like his body isn't his own anymore after just figuring out why he was feeling the way he was. But…he supposes it's true that his body isn't completely his own right now. Not with a child in it.
Adam lets out a loud sigh and shuts his eyes, taking deep breaths and trying to just focus on the sounds of nature surrounding him in the small garden he's kept up over the years but has struggled to maintain in recent months. But the sounds of nature are soon disrupted by the sounds of gentle footsteps approaching and Adam knows who it is before he even opens his eyes. As his mother approaches, she smiles down at him as she gets closer, holding two mugs of tea. "Hi sweetie," she says softly as she hands one mug to Adam before carefully sitting down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. He leans his head on her shoulder, finding comfort in being in her arms just like he always did as a child. "How are you hanging in there?"
Adam takes his time to figure out his response, trying to really get an idea of the mess of emotions going through him. Exhausted from months of pregnancy? Tired of waking up daily and feeling out of place in his own body? Questioning why he is doing this? Feeling happy at the thought of creating life? Wishing his child would grow up with two parents? Full of sadness at the loss of the person he loves? "I really don't know," Adam finally responds to her before taking a long sip of his tea. He stares out some more at the garden in front of them, watching as a bird lands on the small bird feeder he built with Cedar and smiling a bit at the memories.
His mother rubs his head at this and he lets out a relaxed sigh. He hadn't realized just how much he just needed some comfort from his mom. "That's okay… You're going through a lot right now. It's understandable to not know what you're feeling."
They go back to sitting in a comfortable silence and Adam clutches his tea with both hands, balancing the warm mug on his stomach. The sight almost makes him start chuckling a little to himself, "At least I can use my stomach to balance food and drinks on it."
His mother laughs at this and Adam turns to look at her, finding so much of his appearance resembling hers, which makes him start wondering if his child will be the same way, looking similar to him. He almost hopes not. He'd rather they look like Cedar. "I'll be sure to tell my grandbaby someday how you used them as a plate holder. I'm sure they'll love that."
Adam laughs a little, turning his gaze down to his stomach and trying to avoid seeing the unpleasant change in his body and rather the child it holds. "I'm sure baby Cain is going to love you."
"I'm sure they will," his mother says softly, looking down at Adam's stomach will a look already full of love. "Are you still thinking they'll be a boy? I'm hoping for a granddaughter."
"I know you are," Adam responds as he smiles up at his mother. "But who knows? You certainly didn't know I was a boy when I was born."
His mother chuckles at this, making Adam grin a bit. "That is true… We'll I'm going to love them regardless and make sure they have a great life."
"So am I…" Adam says quietly before letting out a sigh of concern. "I just want to be a good parent…but I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own."
"But you're not on your own," his mother frowns at this and shakes her head at him. "Your father and I are going to help you out however we can. We're going to keep this child safe, especially given everything happening in the District lately…"
Adam looks up at her in concern at this, hating all the bad news lately about attacks and deaths happening in the District as unrest has been growing. So much life just thrown away, and for what reason? "They'll be safe…" He says quietly, knowing he will do whatever to protect his little baby. "I won't let them be harmed."
"I know you will, but I don't want you being hurt either," his mother shakes her head at this, growing upset as she takes a sip of her tea, her hands shaking. "I just heard this morning about some girl that got attacked and killed in an alleyway last night. They haven't found the killer and it's just terrible… I'm worried about your child growing up with all of this going on."
"Mom, you worry too much," Adam tells her, but part of him is just as concerned as she is. It's terrible what happened to that girl and he hates hearing about so much violence and death. He doesn't want to be worried about his child being hurt every time they go to play with a friend. He doesn't want to live in fear that they'll be a victim of some unnecessary crime. And he doesn't want to be in fear that they'll be someday sent into the Hunger Games… But these are all things out of his control. All he can do right now is make sure he raises them well, just like his parents did for him.
"Sorry, it's your job as a parent to be worried," his mother laughs a little at this, but Adam can tell she's still concerned for him. "You'll see that soon enough."
"It's not soon enough," Adam responds quietly, turning to stare out at the garden again so his mom can't see in his eyes just how ready he is to have this pregnancy over with, yet he's so afraid of actually giving birth… "All these symptoms are so unpleasant and it's just worse with all the dysphoria that I didn't know would happen…"
"Soon, sweetie," she says as she rubs his shoulder, clearly not knowing how to help him with what he's going through. And Adam can't blame her for that, there's no way she would understand without being trans herself. "Just keep reminding yourself that the baby is going to be so worth it in the end."
Before Adam can help it, he feels his eyes prickling with tears at the thought of the baby. "Even without Cedar here?"
"Oh, sweetie, come here," his mother says quickly before setting down her mug and hugging Adam as tightly as she can with his belly getting in the way. She rubs his back as he starts sobbing onto her shoulder, unable to help himself as the heartache suddenly hits him. "You're going to be a great parent. I know Cedar is going to be looking out for you and your baby, keeping you both safe. And I know that someday you're going to find someone who is going to love you for exactly who you are and he'll help you raise the child."
Adam knows she's commenting on the reason Cedar broke up with him, but he can't be mad at the reason. He's long since come to terms with Cedar not being able to love him as Adam, just like Adam wouldn't be able to love a girl. It certainly hurt then and still stings a little, but at least Cedar hadn't completely cut him out of his life. He knows Cedar would have helped with the child, especially after seeing them. But now… "I can't do this alone."
"You're not alone," his mother whispers to him, still trying to sooth him as he cries, just like she always did when Adam was a child. "You have me and your father and your younger siblings are going to be so excited to have someone else to play with. And you have Ezzie and your new friend Axe and I know they'll help you out too." She pulls back enough to grab onto the sides of Adam's face gently, staring at him with tears threatening to fall herself. "You're never alone, okay? Not when you have your family."
"I know," Adam sniffles, trying to believe it himself. He shakes his head and lets out a small laugh as he tries to wipe away his tears. "I'm crying so much from all these damn hormones." His mother raises her eyebrows at him swearing and Adam simply shrugs at it, knowing he doesn't normally swear but he thinks he's allowed to given everything happening in his life lately. "But thank you…"
His mother smiles at him and kisses his forehead, making Adam smile softly from the small gesture of love from her. He doesn't know how anyone wouldn't still like getting love from their parents like this, no matter their age. "Of course. I'm always here to help. I don't like seeing you upset, especially right now. I just wish there was more I could do."
"Mom, you already do plenty for me," Adam answers her, loving the happy smile that forms on her face from this. "I don't know what I would do without you."
Carameuse Juniper, 17
One Week Before The Reaping
"Carameuse, honey, are you almost ready?"
She jumps at the voice at the bedroom door, taking a moment to compose herself as she looks in the mirror, rehearsing all the things she might say tonight. 'Oh Mrs. Callagan, you look lovely tonight. And Mr. Callagan, the food is delicious! How is your son doing?' She read over and over and over again the diary she keeps, trying to memorize everything about the guests Marnie Juniper invited over tonight for dinner, all at her husband's request to secure more financial backers. She's been dreading this night for days now, ever since Marnie told her that she would have to join them for dinner. It was so nice the days when she was allowed to stay in her room, hidden away and avoiding Marnie and Keelan. Not that they took much notice to her. She knows from last time the Callagans visited that the Junipers had Carameuse there to show off how much of a 'perfect family' they are. At least, according to the diary.
"Carameuse?" Marnie calls from behind the door, this time knocking on it a bit. She worries about the tone in Marnie's voice and flips back in the diary to a different page recalling a time when Marnie got angry at Carameuse. She certainly doesn't want that to happen tonight.
"Just a second," she calls over to her, hoping it will keep her from entering the room. She adjusts the hat on her head, hoping Marnie won't question the fancy hat. She needs it to cover up her eyes and the blonde roots just starting to poke through. She really doesn't want to go face the people downstairs, but she really doesn't have a choice. She brought this on herself.
With one final look in the mirror, she smooths out her dress and grabs the diary from the desk. Her finger runs over the frayed edge on one side of the cloth book cover, knowing just how valuable this tiny book is. She refuses to let it out of her sight, so she tucks it away into one of the small clutches in her room to bring downstairs with her.
She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down from the terrifying thought of being around people she doesn't know, but reminds herself that she just has to keep pretending. She doesn't mind pretending to be someone she's not, hiding away her emotions and staying a cheerful young woman. She can do this.
With that, she goes over to the bedroom door, rehearsing in her head what she'll say. When she opens the door, Marnie takes in her appearance, making her cast her eyes down at the ground nervously. "Very nice, dear," Marnie says after a few long seconds and she briefly glances up, just to turn her gaze back down right away. Marnie grabs her arm gently and starts leading her downstairs. "Come on, dear, your father is entertaining the Callagans right now and we don't want to keep them waiting. And they brought their son with them, he's real cute and you should try talking to him. Perhaps they'll be more inclined to be a stockholder with your father if their son is interested in you."
She stops walking at this, getting extremely anxious about talking to the boy. She doesn't know what he's like at all and hasn't rehearsed at all what to say to him. All she knows is the brief mentions from last time when the Calligans visited. Her fingers twitch towards her clutch, wanting to run back to her room to search through the diary to find some mention of the boy, or at least any idea how she should act towards him. But she can't. She has to go to the dinner and keep up the act. It's all part of the task she was given.
Marnie comes to a stop at her stopping, looking back at her in confusion. "What's wrong? Oh come on, dear, you'll be fine talking to him. Do it for your father."
She nods her head at this, hoping to convince her that she'll try. And she will, but she'll just be very nervous about it the whole time. Just…why must she have to participate tonight? She doesn't want to get noticed by anyone. She just wants to get back upstairs and figure out what she's going to do about her situation.
"Good girl," Marnie pats her on the shoulder before leading her once more towards the sitting room. As they get closer, she can hear voices talking and it makes her want to stop walking and run back upstairs, but Marnie keeps a tight grip on her arm.
It's just another task. If she can just keep reminding herself that it's just another task, another situation for her to act in, well, maybe she can get through this. She just needs to keep acting. Just for a couple hours and then she can go back up to her room and hide from everyone. She just has to act for a little bit.
She holds the clutch in front of her stomach in a nervous protective gesture as they enter the room and she forces herself to smile and be the cheery person Carameuse has described in the diary. Marnie clears her throat and the conversations stop, bringing the attention of four people over to her. It's way too many people looking at her and she turns her gaze down, hoping they won't stare too closely at her. "Janine and Terran, you met our daughter before. But Joseph, this is Carameuse."
She nervously looks up, knowing Marnie wants her to be nice to him, and smiles at him. She almost falters a bit when she realizes Marnie wasn't lying about him being cute, especially when he gives her a large smile in return. "Hello," she says softly and Marnie brings her into the room, giving her a not-so-subtle push towards Joseph.
She hesitates for a couple seconds, but a look from Marnie has her keep walking over towards Joseph, not wanting Marnie to stare at her for too long. Just keep acting, don't let him see yourself and you won't get hurt.
"Hello there," Joseph says to her and she tries to keep being cheery towards him, fighting against the intense desire to just run out of the house and away from all of this. It's all her fault she has to be here. He takes her left hand and hesitates for a moment as he stares down at it and the mole on it that she's always said looks like a pumpkin, a mark she's never seen on anyone else before, before kissing the back of it. When he lets go of her hand, he takes a step closer to her and drops his voice to a quiet whisper, "They've been looking for you."
Her heart starts racing at this as panic slowly builds up in her, not knowing just who has been looking for her. She doesn't know if she wants to know, in case it's not the people she's hoping for. And how does Joseph even know? She has to figure out if he's truly on her side or not, because if he isn't, she's about to be in big trouble. "Do you like looking at the stars just after dusk?"
To anyone else, the question would be odd and out of place, especially for her to ask someone she just met. But understanding passes over Joseph's face, and she knows he understood the secret question. "I prefer just before dawn."
She lets out a loud sigh of relief at his answer, knowing that he's on her side. What a stroke of luck that the person she's forced to talk to tonight is also fighting for the cause. "Have you seen the paintings in the foyer?" She asks loudly, to let Marnie and Keelan know where they're going.
Joseph catches on quickly to what she's doing and answers at a similar volume, "No, but I would love it if you showed me them."
She leads him out of the room, catching an approving look from Marnie. But she's focused on getting out of earshot from them. Once a safe distance away, she glances back at the room they left before quickly whispering to Joseph. "I'm on a mission and can't leave here. Can you get a message to someone higher up?"
"I can try my best, but my parents keep a close eye on me," Joseph looks back over his shoulder and when he turns back, his face is full of concern that they'll come looking for him now. "But what's going on? They had to cover up a missing body-"
"Shh, don't talk about that!" She answers in a whisper, her voice raising in pitch. She shuts her eyes tightly, trying to block out the images, but they still push into her mind of the girl that attacked her, all because she bumped into her and thought she was mugging her. She didn't mean to kill her. God, that's the last thing she would ever dream of doing. She just pushed her into the wall! She was just desperately trying to get away from the person chasing her.
"Hey, they're not mad at you," Joseph says gently, putting a hand on her arm and making her jump in surprise. She opens her eyes quickly, finding him staring at her intently and full of concern. She quickly looks away, uncomfortable by how intense his gaze is. "They just want to know what happened on the mission and put out a notice to watch for you."
"I'm trying," she says quietly, turning to stare at one of the pictures hanging on the wall instead of Joseph. Even though he's on the same side as her, she still is uncomfortable by his intense stare and talking to him. "Tell them I'm safe and have the item. I'll finish the task soon."
"Of course," he says quietly as footsteps start to approach them. He turns as well to stare at the picture she's staring at, but leans towards her to whisper before the others round the corner, "I'll tell your secret to the others, Carameuse."
Day Of The Reaping
She has been dreading this day for weeks now. Every kid always dreads the Reaping, but she is almost certain that today is going to be the day that she's finally caught. What if the group didn't actually hide the body? What if someone knows about her? What's going to happen as she goes through the check in? They might arrest her right then and there. And what if her name is called?
She can only hope that Joseph kept his word and got the message to the others that she's safe and still on the mission.
"Good luck, Carameuse," Marnie says with a quick kiss on her cheek, leaving her to wait in the line for the check in. She gives Marnie a brief smile before turning away, pulling the hat down over her head to make sure it doesn't blow away. The last thing she needs is for that to happen and show everyone her blonde roots she hasn't been able to get dyed back to brown.
"Thanks," she says nervously as Marnie walks away, not looking too bothered by her daughter being in line for the Reaping. And why would Marnie be concerned? Carameuse has never needed to take out tesserae and Marnie really hasn't been involved too much in her life.
She's glad to have the hat on her head, blocking the sun from hitting her eyes as she waits in the line that's quickly growing in length. She almost considers moving to the back of it, anything to push back having to go through the check in and get her finger pricked by the needle. She is absolutely dreading it. But she can't do that. That will only make her look suspicious. And she's always been told to avoid suspicion at all costs when on missions.
Right. Just focus on the job. Perhaps after the Reaping in the chaos of everyone leaving, she can slip away from the crowd and finish what she was assigned to do. She doesn't want to keep living in fear of getting caught.
The line keeps slowly inching forward, too slow, but also too fast. She wants to be done with this, yet the thought of entering the Reaping area is enough to make her want to run away if she wouldn't get shot down by Peacekeepers. She fidgets with the diary in her hands, avoiding eye contact with the others around her, some talking to their friends as they wait in line, while others stay somber. Unable to take the anxious silence any longer, she flips through the diary back to last year's Reaping, trying to distract herself from this year's.
"I so dislike having to go through the check in for the Reapings – needles are so terrifying! But, another year safe from going into the Hunger Games! Although it was so sad to see a twelve year old get picked…and a criminal volunteered! Wow. That girl that was picked sure got lucky to have a volunteer. I hope if the worst happens and I was picked there would be someone ready to step forward and take my place. I don't even know how I would react…probably very nervously walk up but definitely try to smile. Never too early to start thinking about sponsors. But God willing that won't ever happen. Well, only two more years to go!"
"Next!"
She glances up from the diary, afraid for when that voice will be calling next for her. She's getting too close now, only five more people separating her from possibly getting arrested. She snaps the diary shut, holding it tightly against her chest as she tries to control her breathing. She can't stop the feeling that the Peacekeepers are all staring over at her behind the cold dark masks that they wear, all accusing her. But how could they possibly know what she's done? She only told Joseph and she barely told him the whole story. He wouldn't tell though, since he's on her side. He knew the phrase to communicate that they're on the same side. Unless…unless he's a double agent? Oh stupid, so stupid, how did she just trust him so blindly? She might have just blown everything!
"Next!"
She lets out a squeak of nervousness as she realizes the Peacekeepers are talking to her. Her feet freeze to the ground and she can't bring herself to step forward. She can't, they're going to find out and she's going to get arrested or killed and-
One of the Peacekeepers steps forward and grabs her arm, bringing her towards the Peacekeeper taking the blood samples. "Hand, please," he says to her, holding out his own hand. He stares up at her behind the blank mask, yet she can't move, her hands gripping the diary in front of her chest so tightly her knuckles must be turning white. "Give me your hand. I won't ask again."
Just give him her hand…she rehearsed this earlier. Surely she can do this… She slowly uncurls her left hand from the diary and reaches towards him, her hand shaking immensely from her nerves. "The needle won't hurt that bad," he says with a laugh as he takes her hand, clearly trying to get her to stop being so nervous. But it doesn't help. Not when she is about to get her hand pricked and a blood sample taken.
With a sudden pinch, the device pricks her finger and her blood is taken, ready to be identified. The Peacekeeper stares down at her hand for a few seconds as the device registers her. As she waits, her breathing quickens and her heart races, so loudly that everyone around her surely must be able to hear it. But this is it. It's game over for her. Surely she won't be able to keep this up any longer.
The device beeps, signaling it has finished registration, and she tries to keep acting cheery, but knows her smile must look more like a grimace than an actual smile right now. The Peacekeeper looks at the device for a few long, drawn out seconds, before turning his gaze back up to her. "What's your name?"
She stares down at him, not trusting her voice to actually form words right now with how anxious she is. "C-C-Carameuse J-Junip-per," she squeaks out, barely even convincing herself that that's her name. Her nervousness is clear as the sunny day they're having in her voice and she can only hope the Peacekeeper assumes it from her being nervous about the actual Reaping.
The seconds keep ticking by and it feels as if she's been standing there for minutes, but in reality, it's probably been under a minute. She can feel herself starting to sweat in her anxiety, waiting for the verdict. "Go ahead, Carameuse."
She stares down at the Peacekeeper in surprise for a few seconds, but his gaze has turned back down to the device and he does something on it for a few seconds. He glances back up and motions her along before looking at the line behind her, "Next!"
She nervously smiles at one of the other Peacekeepers standing nearby as another kid steps up to be registered. She isn't going to wait around to be told that it was all a sick joke, even though she worries it's only a matter of time until that happens. She knew the risks of getting involved and now she's starting to wonder if she should have never gotten involved. She never should have thought it was fun to search through the things her mother told her not to look through. She never should have become a courier, passing along secret messages around the District.
And yet…as she slowly starts walking down the aisle separating he sections, trying not to look suspicious by walking too fast, she slowly starts to relax a little when she doesn't hear any footsteps following after her. She passes the twelve year olds, then the thirteens, and no one is yelling at her to stop. She reaches the fourteen year old section and nervously glances back, yet finds no one following after her. She turns back around and picks up her pace, wanting to blend into the crowd of seventeen year olds and hide among them. She'll find anonymity among the others her age, all looking nervous as they wait for the Reaping to get started.
She reaches the section and finds her way into the center, even though it's the spot she least wants to stand in. She'd prefer being at the edge, away from as many people as possible. But she could be recognized there and she doesn't want that.
She finds a spot to stand behind a couple girls talking quietly, trying to pass the time before the Reaping starts. She waits a few minutes, still clutching the diary to her chest as she keeps expecting someone to come take her away. But as the minutes keep passing, she starts to slowly relax. Maybe she was able to pull off the act…maybe they truly believe her.
When it's time to start and the mayor steps on stage to give her speech, she lets out a sigh of relief as she runs her hand over the seam of the diary with one loose thread, knowing she's safe. Her secret is safe.
Bella Lavish, Escort for District Seven
Bella could tell right away that something was up in District Seven, but she knew better than to speak up and question it. From the moment she boarded the train to travel out here, she was surrounded by more Peacekeepers than ever before. She doesn't know why she needs the extra protection, but she isn't complaining about it considering how tense the District mood feels today. Even the victors seemed uneasy, more so than usual on Reaping Day. Bella had been looking forward to getting back to Seven, but it is not turning out the way she anticipated.
In fact, being back in Seven is surprisingly sad for her, and she knows it's from Oakland's death last year… Damn, that little boy really made an impact on her. The worst part is seeing his friend still alive, knowing that it could have been Oakland instead. But each year one tribute from Seven keeps getting closer and closer to winning. Maybe this is going to be the year one of them finally comes in first place.
"Good afternoon, District Seven," Bella says pleasantly, trying to avoid being overly cheerful as she sees the glares among some of the older children closest to the stage. It catches her off guard, having been greeted in the past by some waves and smiles. What's happened in one year here? "I'm Bella Lavish, back once more and determined to have this year be the year we get another victor! We were so close last year!"
She hopes the crowd will give some sort of acknowledgement at this, but she just gets unhappy grumbles from people as they're reminded of the fact that their tributes last year got last and fifth place. "Very well," she says quickly as she glances off to the side at the mayor and is motioned to move things along. "Let's just see who will be our tributes this year!"
In the silence of the crowd, her tall golden heels ring out loudly over them as she heads to the first sphere full of names. Normally she would have taken her time, hoping to pick an older tribute who has seen her days in the forest and has a fighting chance. But not today. Not when she's worried anything she says might get her into trouble. So she picks a piece of paper from the top and walks as quickly as she can in her heels, which is surprisingly fast, back to the microphone. "Alright first up is…" Bella stares down at the name, having no clue how she's supposed to pronounce it. "Caramuse? Caramoose? Oh I don't know how to say it, but first name C-A-R-A-M-E-U-S-E, last name Juniper."
Bella stares out into the crowd, waiting to see who will step forward. The seconds start to pass and Bella begins to worry about the girl, knowing she has to do her best right now to make a good first impression. "Carameuse? It's alright, just come on up."
Finally, there's movement in one of the closer sections as someone makes their way out from the very center. Once in the aisle, she nervously looks around at everyone, clutching a small book to her chest. She keeps her head down, her large brimmed hat blocking her face from the view of everyone in Seven and the cameras. But as she gets to the stairs up to the stage, she picks up her head and tries to give Bella a cheery smile, but it's obviously forced. But Bella will take it, at least the girl is trying to keep it all together.
"Hello dear," Bella says once the girl reaches the stage, placing a hand on her shoulder and trying to comfort her. Now that she's up close, she can see all the panic in her eyes. "Let's see if anyone will take your place," she says softly to Carameuse, getting a small nod of her head before Bella turns back to the crowd and speaks louder. "Are there any volunteers?"
Much to Bella's disappointment – well, maybe it's best to not have any criminal volunteers again given what happened last year – no one steps forward to volunteer for Carameuse. She gives her shoulder a couple pats, trying to comfort her when she takes in a sharp intake of breath at the realization that she's really going into the Games. "Well, we can't have volunteers every year! How about we see who is joining Carameuse?"
Bella once again quickly makes her way to pick the other name, aware of the growing tension among the crowd in front of her that's making her nervous. Forget making the Reaping interesting, she just wants to get out of here without any drama.
So she quickly dips her name into the other glass sphere and picks one of the first names her hands brush up against. Her steps are once again too loud in the silence, but at least there aren't any sobs right now from Carameuse. But it almost looks like she's in shock right now. "Okay our second tribute is…" Bella lets out a small sigh of relief when she sees a name she can actually pronounce. "Adam Vignola."
Bella waits a few seconds until someone starts moving in the oldest section, getting her hopes up that she'll have a strong tribute this year. But as soon as the person steps out from the section, Bella's jaw drops open in shock and she has to close it as murmurs start traveling around the crowd.
Holy shit…they're pregnant. And not just a tiny bit pregnant, like about to pop pregnant… What has she done?
Adam is clearly struggling to hold it all together as they slowly make their way up to the stage, hands protectively wrapped around their stomach. At that, Bella quickly runs down the stairs, nearly tripping down in her high heels, so she can help them up to the stage. As she puts an arm around them, that's when the tears start pouring out and Adam gasps loudly before they start sobbing. Bella has to support most of their weight up the stairs and halfway up, she's met by Laurel to help get Adam up to the stage. They share an uncomfortable look, clearly both bothered by the fact that Bella just picked a very pregnant tribute.
Once back in the center of the stage, Bella keeps her hand in Adam's, feeling incredibly guilty for picking them, especially as they start gasping in pain and lean over, clutching their stomach. "Oh my God, please tell me you're not going into labor! I'm so sorry!" She squeaks out, only able to watch in horror at what she's done. Laurel keeps holding on to them and the victor rubs their back before leaning down to whisper to them.
"Are there any volunteers for Adam?" Bella pleads at the crowd, really hoping that someone will care enough for them that they volunteer. But despite the crowd's displeasure at Adam being reaped, no one steps forward to take their place. "Really?" Bella asks them, in disbelief that no one is going to show some empathy. "Fine," Bella says harshly as she turns back to Adam, angry at herself and the crowd. She tries to rub their back as they try to straighten up, tears still pouring down their face. "I'm going to do everything I can to help you. I promise." Bella looks over at Carameuse, the girl watching the whole thing with a look of horror. "Both of you."
Bella looks out at the crowd, finding herself disappointed for the first time with the District. She thought she loved them and wanted to see them do well. But they've showed an ugly side to them today and Bella doesn't want to be part of that. "And I'm getting one of you home as victor."
Alrighty we have District Seven! Big thanks to goldie031, TheAmazingJAJ, and District5Chemist for Adam, Carameuse, and Bella respectively! I had a ton of fun with this chapter and this chapter just happened very quickly once I sat down to write it!
Okay, I'm only going to say this now and this time only. I am not going to tolerate ANY transphobic comments about Adam. I did my research, I read articles and watched videos from men in similar situations. What he's going through is something that trans men go through. It is who he is that he would keep the child as their life is more valuable to him than the dysphoria he's going through. Regardless of what is happening to him, he is a man. End of story, no questions about it. If you're going to post a review that is even the slightest hint of being transphobic, don't post it. PM the comments to me instead. I simply won't tolerate any hint of transphobia on my story.
*mic drop*
Anyways, now that that's been said, let's talk about this chapter! Thoughts on Adam and Carameuse? How are people going to react to Adam being pregnant? What is going on with Carameuse? And is this the second subplot chapter in a row? I think yes lol.
Alright, next up we're heading to District Eight! And since I won't be posting that in the next three days, Merry Christmas to everyone that celebrates and Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you all have lovely time with your family and friends!