Chapter 14:

Bellona "Bell" Silvanus, 18, District Two

Bell had never expected to have any regrets about volunteering for the Games. After all, it's what she's been training for years to do. The ultimate test, especially with the Quell twist this year. If she can win this, she'll have won the ultimate test of survival and intelligence. So if someone would have told her months ago that she would be sitting on the train and feeling anything less than excited about heading towards the Capitol and unable to focus on analyzing the other tributes, she would have laughed in their face and told them how wrong they would be.

But a few months ago was before she got to know Odyssey Gunderson. Bell never should have gone along with Kat's plan for them to get to know each other. Oh it worked, a little too well. Because when Bell stood up on that stage with Odyssey at the Reaping, she felt something in her she never anticipated: fear over losing him.

It was in that moment that Bell knew she fucked up.

She's trying her best to focus on the Reaping Recaps, but it's so hard to with Odyssey sitting next to her and cracking jokes. She can't just ignore her District partner, not when they need to do their best to work together. But, that's the problem, being together…

"I don't think the careers are going to be that much of a problem," Kat tells them, sitting smugly as she looks at her two chosen volunteers. "Anastacia may be a threat but I wouldn't say that about Major, he looks like he might cry if he breaks a nail."

"Hopefully he doesn't give us any major problems," Odyssey says, turning to look over at Bell with a cute little grin on his face, just to see how she reacts to his joke.

Bell smiles a bit at him, mostly from him looking adorable, but it soon fades when she realizes what she's doing. Shit…she is so fucked.

"Excuse me," Bell says quietly as she stands up, trying to ignore the concerned look from Odyssey. Damn it, why does he have to care about her? Why does she have to care that he cares?

"Are you alright?" Odyssey asks her, all joking gone from his tone as he stares up at her.

"Yeah," Bell answers, clearing her throat and trying not to look down at him as he starts frowning a bit, picking up on the fact that she clearly isn't alright. "I just need a minute," she tells them before starting to walk briskly over to the next train car.

When the door is shut behind her, Bell leans against it, shuts her eyes, and just starts shaking her head at herself. "You're a damn fool, Bell." She thought she was smart by getting to know him and figure out his strengths and weaknesses. But turns out she was just giving herself a huge weakness. "Damn it," she mutters before opening her eyes and storming into the room. She stops in front of one of the windows, watching the mountains fly past as they head into the Capitol.

Why did she have to catch feelings for Odyssey? She's done so well of keeping her focus on training for all these years and not letting anyone distract her from her goal. She never placed her trust in anyone that could steal her heart and make her not want to volunteer. There just wasn't any option other than volunteering. She wants to be here, at least she's not doubting that at all. If she didn't, she never would have gone to the steps she did last year to make sure the only really competition she had got to volunteer early. She just doesn't want to be here with a boy she wants to be with. There's no chance she'll ever have a happy ending with him…

And what a shitty feeling that is.

Bell can hear the door slide open and lets out a sigh at the footsteps approaching her but doesn't look over, not wanting him to see her face and find out her weakness. "Odyssey, I'm fine, I just need a minute…"

"Not Odyssey," a deep voice tells her and Bell turns right away to look over at one of her mentors, letting her surprise show on her face as Darach raises an eyebrow at her. "But interesting that you were expecting it to be Odyssey, not your mentor."

Bell turns away immediately, hating that she can feel her face heating up in embarrassment that she wanted it to be Odyssey there, not Darach. "I just expected him to follow after me."

"Expected?" Darach asks as he starts walking over towards her and Bell keeps her gaze turned away from him, knowing her face is giving away her response and she doesn't like it. She's supposed to be the one getting information like this from people so she can use it against them, not giving people stuff about her. "So…" Darach starts as he stands next to her, tucking his hands into his pockets as they both stare out the window in silence for a few seconds. "Do you…want to talk about what's going on? I know I'm not that good with the whole feelings thing, but it's important we know what's going on."

Bell sighs at him as she contemplates if she should tell him the truth. She doesn't trust him to not tell Glacia and they might tell Kat…and what if Kat tells Odyssey? No, she can't let Odyssey find out how she feels because if he rejects her, she doesn't know how she'll react…and she doesn't want this boy to ruin her shot at winning.

"Is it something with Odyssey?" Darach asks her after a minute of her staying silent. She simply nods her head at him and he sighs loudly at this. She can see him run a hand through his hair out of the corner of her eye as he turns to face her. "Do you not like him?"

"Quite the opposite," Bell scoffs at this and shakes her head at herself once more. She's such an idiot.

"You… Oh." Darach responds after a few seconds and Bell finally glances over at him to see all over his face that he figured it out. "Oh fuck, not again. Glacia!"

Bell looks up at him in surprise that he's calling in his wife for help, but when she hears the door open and sees Glacia walking in quickly, baby propped on one hip and looking ready to take on anything, Bell knows she's in trouble. "What's going on?"

Darach looks at his wife and daughter with a proud expression before turning to Bell and looking at her with a firm look that would have absolutely terrified her if she hadn't just seen the man absolutely melt around his young daughter. "Well? Go ahead and tell her."

Bell sighs at this, not exactly wanting to tell all of them what she's feeling, but at the same time, she's smart enough to know it's best just to get it over with now. Darach will just end up telling Glacia later. "I…messed up and caught feelings for Odyssey and now regret getting close to him."

Glacia just stares at Bell with an expressionless face for a good minute and Bell tries not to back down from her gaze. Then out of nowhere, Glacia steps forward and smacks Bell on the back of the head, all while not disturbing her sleeping daughter in her other arm. "I thought you were smarter than that!"

"Ow," Bell mutters as she rubs the back of her head. "What was that for?"

"For being a dumbass who caught feelings," Glacia retorts, shaking her head and looking absolutely disappointed in Bell. The woman turns to her husband, exasperated look on her face, "How did I get talked into mentoring the one time the tributes are in love with each other?"

"Hey I did not say that," Bell quickly defends herself, but hesitates for a few seconds because she honestly doesn't even know what love is like. How is she to know that she isn't in love? "And he's not in love with me," Bell adds bitterly, even if it's better that she never knows how he feels. Easier for her to move on if she wins.

"Do you know that for sure?" Glacia asks and Bell shakes her head, making her mentor sigh once more at her. "Sorry for hitting you, but seriously? Did you watch what happened in my Games at all?"

"Of course I've seen the last Quell," Bell defends, almost a little offended that Glacia is questioning how prepared she is. "Kat made us study the last two Quells to anticipate the kinds of things they might do."

"Then you know exactly what happened to my District partner," Glacia sighs heavily as a frown starts to form on her face. She adjusts her hold on her daughter, staring down at her sleeping face for a few seconds as Darach puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Lance stupidly caught feelings for someone else going into the Games and he paid the ultimate price for it." She brings up her gaze to Bell and there's no question at all what that price was. After all, she's standing in front of the victor of those Games. "They both did. Please…please don't let that happen to you."

"I don't intend on letting that happen," Bell tries to reassure her, yet deep down she feels a bit of self-doubt rising in her. Is she really going to be able to just watch Odyssey die? Or what happens if they make it to the final two just like they've promised to Kat and all the victors to guarantee a victory for Two? Would she be able to kill him if it meant living? Her heart hurts at that thought and she shakes her head, desperately hoping it won't come down to that situation. "At least, I don't plan on it…"

Darach and Glacia share a look at this and Bell watches them, needing some advice from her mentors on how to make sure she doesn't do something stupid for Odyssey because right now, for probably the first time, she's thinking with her heart instead of her head. "You need to stop being so friendly with him," Glacia starts telling her and when she turns back to Bell, she can see the pain her mentor is trying to hold back in her eyes.

"But Kat has been very specific about us working together," Bell points out the obvious, all of them knowing exactly what the leader of the training center has instructed them to do. "And I don't know about you two but I don't want to piss her off."

"You can still work together without being all buddy buddy with him," Darach responds and Glacia slowly nods her head, even if she doesn't look fully convinced by this. "You can still be a team without being lovers."

"We are not lovers," Bell quickly says, not wanting to start thinking about the idea of that because it will just hurt her since it will never happen.

"Good," Glacia says sharply and stands up taller, looking ready to scold her. "Listen to me carefully. Love in the arena will never end well. And you cannot let Kat know about this or she will cut off support to you for threatening Two's chance at victory." Bell raises her eyebrows at this, along with Darach, both of them clearly shocked by Glacia's suggestion. "You heard me right," Glacia continues, pointing her finger at both of them. "Not a word to her. And Bell, we are going to get it through your thick skull that you absolutely cannot have feelings for Odyssey."

"I'm not thick," Bell crosses her arms at her mentor, just getting a single eyebrow raised from Glacia. "Just tell me what to do."

"Talk to Odyssey only in group settings with us," Glacia starts listing off ideas on her fingers and Bell nods her head along, internalizing each thing. She is not going to die for this reason. "Focus on talking to the other careers in training. Always remember that there is only one person allowed to live and keep reminding yourself that you will have to see him die if you are going to win."

Bell hesitates to nod at the last one…but Glacia is right. She needs to start telling herself now that there is no future with her and Odyssey alive, as much as it hurts her. "Okay," she says with a deep breath. "I can do that." Glacia looks over at Darach, seemingly doubting her and anger lights up in her. "I will, just watch me!"

"There we go," Glacia says with a bit of a smirk. "There's the fire that convinced me to mentor. Alright, time for your first test at putting aside your feelings," Glacia gestures over to the door. "We don't want Kat to start questioning what is happening, although I'm going to have to come up with some excuse."

"I can do this," Bell tells herself, taking a deep breath and putting back her shoulders as she stares down the door. After all, this is what she's been working towards for years. She hasn't let a boy distract her before and she won't let that happen when it matters most.

Bell starts walking back to the other train car, determined to focus on everything but Odyssey. But when the doors open, she immediately sees him pacing around and he looks up at her right away, giving her an adorable and concerned smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, things are fine," Bell answers him with a small smile, immediately doing everything Glacia just told her not to do. She just can't help it when he looks all concerned about her and her heart betrays the logical part of her, telling her that he was concerned because he really cares about her as a person, not just as his District partner he's been forced to work with. She clears her throat when she gets a poignant look from Glacia as her mentor walks passed her, knowing exactly what Bell just did.

Fuck…there's no way she's ignoring her feelings for him.

Calvin "Cal" Tailor, 18, District Three

Cal wishes the four women he's with would just sit down already and get to focusing on the important task at hand: getting them out of the arena alive. All of them are so focused on figuring out how the two of them were picked when they weren't supposed to be and whether Matla and Isidore should even be mentoring them or if they should get someone from Eight and Six for them. But Cal's been focusing on the one thing he's focused on for years now, and that's protecting Indy. No way is he going to stop now from being the best he can for Indy.

"I just can't believe this has happened," Rosalind repeats for probably the one hundredth time in the last hour, shaking her head as they sit on the couches in the train car designating as a sitting room. "I feel like such a failure for picking you two."

"You're not a failure," Amelia speaks up quietly, hesitating to reach out to the escort. She finally decides to start gently patting the woman's shoulder and gets a teary eyed look from Rosalind. "Surely someone will realize this was a mistake…"

"And what?" Cal finally speaks up, tired of sitting around and doing nothing. They're wasting time, precious time that could mean the difference between life or death. All four of them turn to look at him and he meets all of their gazes before continuing, "Wait for them to pick two other kids actually from Three to go in instead? No, that's not going to happen. And the sooner you all realize that, the sooner we can start preparing to stay alive." Cal turns to look at his District partner, feeling a bit of…aversion towards her. After all, he went through the same thing as her and didn't spend the whole year after moping around. "I don't know about you, but I'm not ending up like my brother. If you're the same way, cool, we can be allies then. But if not…I'm not wasting time with someone that isn't dedicated to winning, no offense… So if you don't mind, I would like to start preparing."

Amelia stares over at him, opening and closing her mouth a couple times, giving him a clear answer on if she'll be a good ally. "I…"

"We don't have to be allies," Cal responds to her as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a piece of fabric that he ripped off from a shirt in his room on the train. "I already have ideas on who I want to ally with."

"I'm not giving up," Amelia finally tells him, her voice wavering just a little bit. But for the first time since they entered the program, he sees something other than sadness in her eyes. Now there's the smallest spark of determination in there that makes him think that she will try to fight so she doesn't end up like Aero. Well, he sees it up until he brings the piece of fabric up to his eyes and starts tying it in the back. "What are you doing?"

"Getting prepared," Cal answers calmly as he finishes tying the fabric and adjusts it so it completely blocks out his vision. "I doubt they'll give us stuff in training to practice losing our senses so I'm going to make sure I'm preparing now in case I lose my sight."

Cal finally gets a response from the mentors at this point and gets a laugh from Dr. Jarend. "You're right, we need to start preparing you now. If you're alright with it, I'll mentor Cal."

"That's cool with me, Dr. Jarend," Cal responds coolly to her, knowing she's been mentoring more frequently in recent years than Isidore and he wants the stronger mentor. He turns his head in the direction she thinks she's in to keep addressing her. "Perhaps we can talk in private?"

"Oh!" Rosalind says suddenly and Cal turns in her direction, trying to get used to knowing how far someone is from him based on just hearing. Sight could be the most dangerous sense to lose and he wants to make sure if that happens, he's ready, even if he's hoping he doesn't have that 1 in 5 chance. "I just got a response from the Capitol about what we should be doing. Let's see…Seraphim says they're looking into what happened and that you two will be representing District Three and be mentored by the victors from there, regardless of your home Districts…"

"See?" Cal asks them, pausing a little at his choice of words considering he cannot in fact see right now. "Now can we stop sitting around and get training? I'm not losing."

"Well I-I'm not either," Amelia speaks up, trying to sound as confident as him but failing. But unlike the times he's seen her talking in class or to the others in the program, she's not just the hollow shell. Maybe the Games are the thing that she needed to get stronger, just like it was his parents abandoning him and Indy that motivated him. But…no, he can't care about her, not when it's her life or his.

"Well," Isidore starts and Cal turns his head towards her. "I wouldn't have boarded the train if I didn't intend on mentoring you two, and same thing with Matla. As far as I'm concerned, you're from District Three and we're going to treat you the same exact way as we would anyone else."

"Maybe a bit more?" Rosalind asks them, even laughing nervously. "After all, these two were handpicked by the President himself to study in District Three. So maybe they get extra focus…?"

"Rosalind, we put in all of our effort every year to get the tributes home," Dr. Jarend cooly responds to the escort. "This year won't be any different. Now, do you two want to be mentored separately or together?"

"Separately," Cal answers immediately, needing no time to think it over. After all, it's every person for themselves in the arena. He doesn't truly know Amelia. He's not taking the risk of her revealing any plans of his to the other tributes.

"Separately, I guess," Amelia quietly says, not sounding too happy about it, but that's not Cal's problem.

"Alright, Cal, let's go," Dr. Jarend tells him and he stands up, not sure where she wants him to go. "This way," she says as she starts walking over to the next train car and he focuses on her footsteps so he can follow her. He bumps into the end of the couch and rubs the spot on his hip for a moment for continuing after his mentor. He takes slow steps, gently feeling ahead with his foot so as to not bump into anything else. He knows this isn't going to work in the arena when he might be running for his life, but that's why he's practicing now. He starts thinking he's close to the door and holds out his hand, waving it around and hitting the wall. "That was almost my head," Dr. Jarend says as he steps past her, hearing the door close behind him.

"Apologies, Dr. Jarend, but better to mess up now than in the arena," Cal tells her, knowing she must understand why he's training now.

"You're right," she answers from behind him, letting him find his way around the room to the dining room table, only running into one of the chairs a little bit. He slowly sits down, feeling around on the table and knocking a glass over, making it shatter on the table before he finds a steak knife. He awkwardly grasps it, trying to get a feel for what it's like to be holding a knife… After all, it's likely he'll end up with a knife in the arena since they're always the most readily available weapon. "So first things first, stop calling me Dr. Jarend," his mentor says as she sits down with him at the table. "Matla is just fine. Second, don't take off that piece of fabric whenever you're out of training. Hell, keep it on during training as well if they let you."

"That's my plan, ma'am," Cal responds, still feeling weird calling his professor by her first name, even if they're no longer in an academic setting.

"Good," Matla says, starting to tap her fingers on the table, or, at least, that's what Cal assumes is the tapping noise. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about the Quell twist and wanting to know just how they're going to take away your senses. Lukianas wouldn't tell me how but I've been thinking… And I think they're going to find some way to make sure that each sense can be deadly in that arena."

Cal nods his head at this, taking in every bit of advice she has to offer to him. After all, she proved to be the strongest her year by winning. "How should I prepare?"

"I think sight will be the worst sense to lose because we're so dependent on it," Matla starts and Cal finds himself nodding in agreement with her. "So you're on the right track there. Hearing can be bad but not to the same level of sight. I can try to see if I can get you some headphones to wear so you can train with that. As for taste and smell, don't trust any food you find in the arena. I'm guessing it's going to be a plant based arena with lots of things for you all to find that are poisonous. If you lose smell, watch for any areas that are void of any creatures. They love making the arenas as realistic as possible and there will be bugs, but even bugs don't like toxic fumes."

"And touch?" Cal asks when she falls quiet before talking about the fifth sense. "What about that?"

Matla is quiet for a minute and Cal stares in her direction while focusing on all the sounds around him. If he listens close enough, he can just barely hear her breathing…and if he can hear that, he can detect a tribute in the arena. "Don't underestimate how bad losing touch might be."

"How so?" Cal questions, knowing he was lucky to get a scientist as his mentor. Who else is going to be getting this kind of information? It's one thing he can have as an advantage to be stronger than the others and he is going to use every bit of information he gets from her.

"People don't realize just how much is involved in our sense of touch," Matla sighs and Cal hears the chair creaking as she moves in it. "We can detect pressure, temperature, pain, and more through touch. Lose your sense of touch and you might not realize if you're in an area that's too hot or too cold, or if you're standing in a way that's going to damage your feet, or even know if you've been injured."

Cal stares over in her direction, just now fully grasping the magnitude of what it would be like to lose that sense. He lifts up his blindfold so he can stare at his mentor, squinting for just a moment against the lights on the train. "How do I prepare for that?"

"You can't," Matla responds and Cal shakes his head at this, refusing to believe that there isn't some sort of way for him to prepare. There has to be some sort of way. "You don't believe me?"

"No," Cal tells her, still shaking his head. "I can't because I've spent the last few years preparing in any way I possibly can to be the strongest version of myself. I had both parents walk out on me and my brother because they 'weren't strong enough'," Cal makes air quotes with his hands before dropping them into his lap, suddenly missing his brother so much… He didn't really get to say goodbye to him, that phone call they allowed him barely counts. "I can't just accept that there isn't a way to prepare for losing my feeling of touch. I won't give up on Indy like that."

"Good, I want to be mentoring a victor this year. Last year was…" Matla lets out a sigh and Cal knows who she's talking about. Everyone was paying attention to her tribute last year. "Jarvis was a good man and his death took an emotional toll on me. I would like to avoid that this year, if possible." A smile slowly starts to form on her face as she stares him down. "The determination that you have… That's the kind of determination that makes people win."

"I have to win," Cal says softly, his mind putting the terrible image in his head of Indy having to watch his death, leaving him all alone… "Indy already lost Bishop years ago. I can't let him lose me, even if I feel like I abandoned him by going to Three."

"You haven't abandoned him to go to school," Matla reassures him, but still, the feeling lingers. "You're not going to get back to him by focusing on the past so put that blindfold back down. We're getting you out of that arena alive."

"Yes ma'am," Cal listens to his mentor's advice and puts the blindfold back over his eyes, trying to get used to the deprivation of his sight and using his hearing to guide him.

"Now tell me who you want to be allies with."

We have officially kicked off the pre-Games chapters! I'm so hyped about what I have planned and all the interactions that will be going on between the tributes. The pre-Games stuff might just be my favorite stuff to write in these stories because there's so many fun things to do and alliances to set up.

Speaking of alliances, thoughts on which ones will form? How will the career dynamic be impacted by Bell's feelings? Does Odyssey return them? And who do you think Cal wants to be allies with?

Next up we will be checking in with Fete and Not Carameuse (TM) for the preparations before the chariots! Hopefully that will be up before my semester ends mid-May, but we're reaching my busiest time so I'm not sure when I will get Wayward Night One written. So hopefully I will see you soon!