Hey guys! I've noticed a lack in reviews lately and I was just wondering why. Has there been something wrong with the latest chapters, and if so what? I'd love to know to improve them in the future. Anyway let's start this chapter.
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(May's POV)
My situation momentarily reminds me of the one playing out on the screen. The three of us sit quietly in the dark, dank little home and we watch as my parents sit quietly in this dark, dank cave. My dad sleeps quietly in an attempt to regain strength yet my mom looks wide awake and alert. My cheeks are still slightly flushed from Lars's last remark and I am trying to ignore the soft pounding of my heart. This is going to kill me. If these tapes don't drive me crazy than the guy I've had a crush on most of my life wanting to go out with m best friend definitely will. And if both of them come to me for dating advice what will I do? I could never purposely ruin the possible relationship by sabotaging their feelings. That is just wrong, but I'd be lying if I said it hadn't entered my mind. Soon they will get married and have little Alies and little Larses and when the children ask how they fell in love they'll go "Oh Auntie May got us together! If it weren't for her we might have never fallen in love." And I'll be in my small run down house with my seven cats loathing my 14 year old self for being so selfless and- No! Stop it May! Lars is a completely capable boy who can control his own actions! HE is the one who decided to ask out Ali, not me! The will decide for themselves if they are right for each other and I will be as non-biased as possible if I am ever needed...is it bad that I still don't want them together?
I sigh quietly and try to shake the trivial thought out of my head. I focus back on the scene that is unfolding in front of me between my parents. It seems like I have decided to tune in at the right time as my mom begins to unwrap the darkened bandages that cover my dad's thigh. My jaw drops in despair. Web like lines flow from my dad's wound and my gasp of recognition makes the others turn their heads.
"May! What is it? What's happening to your dad?!" Ali asks abruptly. I don't answer right away because I can't seem to find my voice.
"May..." Lars says quietly. I am silent for I few more moments before I am finally able to speak again.
"Blood poisoning..." I say so softly that I doubt they heard me. The look of confusion on their faces confirms my suspicions.
"It's blood poisoning. Without a cure the patient would be likely to die in the next few days." My heart is racing, my palms are sweating, my head is spinning, and the entire room is in a blur. I barely hear their responses to the news before the world around my starts to go dark. My father is going to die. The spinning stops and I fall to the floor, unconscious.
"Wake up, come on May, wake up..." I hear Ali's soft voice break through the darkness. I slowly open my eyes, wincing at the bright sunlight. Remembering what caused me to black out I instantly freak.
"My dad! He's gonna die! He's gonna die! My dad is gonna die in there!" I tightly grip the collar of Ali's bright pink shirt and try to ignore the look of concern and fear that fills her jade green eyes.
"Lars...please come over here." I hear a rustling on my other side but my vision does not waver. I feel his presence next to me and I am slightly startled at the feeling of his hand on my back. He starts to rub comforting circles on my back and I remember that this is something my dad does daily, to calm my mom from her nightmares...
I think I visibly relax as my breathing begins to go back to normal.
"Wha-what happened?" I ask in confusion.
"You fainted, I think. Out of shock." Lars answers calmly. I'm guessing in an attempt to make sure I don't freak out again.
"Oh. Was I out for long?" I ask, looking at Ali this time.
"No, don't worry. You passed out for only a few seconds. No big deal." Ali replies gently.
"Okay, Good." I sit up slowly, feeling dizzy as all the blood rushes from my head. I am some how able to stand right away, well with the help of Ali and Lars holding me up half the time. After I am able to full stand on my own Lars rushes away to get me some water
I make my way over to a small wooden chair and take a seat. Lars quickly returns with a plastic cup full of water and I guzzle it down as soon as he hands it over to me. After I am finished with my water I harshly place down the cup and soon become aware of the two pairs of eyes that watch me warily. After a few more moments of quiet awkward silence and stares I decide to speak up.
"Okay, I am fine. Don't worry about me. Can we continue watching the tape...please." Their head turn and they give each other a strange look that makes my muscles tense. After what seems like forever they break from their staring contest they turn back to me and nod their heads slowly. I sit down in my original spot and Ali plops down beside me. Lars stands and makes his way to the projector and soon enough the tape of the awful games is back up and running.
"Well, there's more swelling, but the pus is gone." My mom says, her voice uneasy.
"I know what blood poisoning is, Katniss. Even if my mother isn't a healer." My dad responds quietly.
"You're just going to have to outlast the others, Peeta. They'll cure it back at the Capitol when we win." She says, semi-confidently I'd like to add.
"Yes, that's a good plan." He says, but I get the feeling he is acting so optimistic for my mom's sake. In this moment I make a decision when it comes to these tapes. I have decided to view these younger versions of my parents as completely different people. It's probably best that way, wouldn't want to go passing out every time something bad happens to them, which by the way things are going so far would be a lot of passing out.
You have to eat. Keep your strength up. I'm going to make you soup." My mo- Katniss states. She starts to get up but, um, Peeta stops her.
"Don't light a fire. It's not worth it." Peeta says firmly.
"We'll see." She retorts. Wow, my mom really hasn't changed at all. Still as stubborn and strong-willed as always. But then I realize something that makes my blood turn to ice. She has changed.
Drastically.
This girl that I am watching on the screen is not my mom. And the boy is not my dad. But of course they aren't, they are all grown up now, and I've already addressed that they are different people. But...there is something else. The young girl I am watching still has a glimmer of hope and innocence that shines in her eyes. The young boy still smiles awkwardly and even a bit shyly. Not anymore. These games, the Quarter Quell, the revolution, and who knows what else! They have all killed these children. My parents have suffered. My mom wakes up nearly every night screaming her head off because of a nightmare that only my dad can seem make go away, and I pretend not to hear them. My dad faces terrors sometimes right in front of me for an unknown reason, but my mom always holds him tightly and whispers loving words into his ear until it passes, and I pretend not to notice. But now that I know why, now that I know the reason that they are this way, for some reason that I am ashamed of it makes me feel almost...loathing.
Loathing for them for feeling I was to weak or stupid to handle the truth, loathing for the games for making them suffer, and most of all loathing for the world for damaging them beyond repair.
I don't notice the tears streaming down my face until Lars slowly scoots over to me and uses his thumb to gently wipe them away. But I refuse to look him in the eyes. I know my behavior is childish and he probably has no idea why I am acting so cold towards him but at the moment I don't care. I feel betrayed in some way that deep down I realize is not mt fault but I refuse to understand the situation from his perspective. And for some awful twisted reason, I enjoy the glint of hurt I see flash in his beautiful green eyes.
(Katniss's POV)
I stand under the warm water that sprays from the silver metal shower head above me. Ever since that night at the bakery a sickly feeling of anxiousness has been pumping through my veins non-stop. Tonight Peeta and I plan to tell May everything. About our first games, the Quarter Quell, the Revolution, even what happened to Peeta in the Capitol, though we have agreed to not go into too many details. The official plan is to sit her down and talk to her after dinner, when Brogan is fast asleep and not likely to hear our conversation. Soon enough the mere though of what will occur tonight fills me with dread. What if she refuses to look at us after we have told her everything. What if she screams cruel words at us and spits in out faces. What is she runs away in favor of spending the rest of her isolated life with a close and understanding friend...what if tonight is the last time I will ever see or talk to my little girl, the daughter that I love so much.
No!
Snap out of it Katniss! While I know from experience that May has inherited my stubborn personality, she also possesses Peeta's kind and loving heart. She would never do something so cruel as to spit in our faces or leave us forever. But I can't help but worry about the possibility. Ever since I was younger I never wanted to fall in love. Because love means marriage. Marriage means children. And I couldn't let myself think of the possibility of my child being brought into a world where you could be sent to your death all for the entertainment of the Capitol.
But then Peeta came along.
He was already in love with me, but he never pushed for more. When we started seeing each other he didn't pressure me into marriage. And once we married he stayed quiet about having children, well, most of the time. The point is he has always been kind, and caring, and compassionate. And just, well, Peeta. I was never comfortable with the idea of children, even after we had one the war, even after a few months of us growing together again, and even a few years of us having been married. Finally after nearly a decade I agreed. At first Peeta didn't realize I had said yes, but then his eyes widen in surprise and he spun around to face me so fast I was sure he had drilled a hole in the dark wooden kitchen floor. He looked at me with tears of joy in his eyes and he grabbed me by the waist and spun me around in the air, all while the two of us laughed giddily. Soon he placed me back on the floor before I got dizzy and gave me a long, passionate kiss.
I snap out of the happy memory with a start and notice that I must have been in the shower for far to long by now. I quickly turn of the shower and step into the steam filled room. I dry my hair and dress myself in a matter of minutes, and turn to face the mirror. I manage to find my reflection in the still very foggy mirror and give a smile smile. I am sure everything will work out fine. Because Peeta and I will be together. Just as we always have been.
I am soooooo sorry about my lack of updating guys! I have been experiencing a lot of writers block lately but I have managed to finally finish this chapter!