Holding On and Letting Go

Chapter 3

Despite being in a coma for several years, Elena's hands felt warm in contrast to his cold ones. If you looked at the two side to side you never would have guessed Elena had, had her life stolen away from her for years. If anything, he was the one who looked like the ghost as they walked to the spot for Stefan's memorial ready to say their goodbyes.

Each of them had brought a piece from their life that had reminded them of Stefan as Damon pulled Elena away from the others realizing something he had to do. There were several wrongs he had to set right, but for right now being selfless was the only thing on his mind.

"Damon?" Elena questioned, her voice filling with concern.

Digging into his pocket for the one thing he had always kept with him since the day she had been comatose, Damon pulled out the necklace that held so much meaning between him and Elena. Him because it had always brought them closer it was a symbol that stated they would always come back to each other time and time again. It was a symbol of their love story, but it was also a symbol of Stefan's love for Elena. He would never forget that, and he knew if he kept it away from her now it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Gingerly, he took Elena's hand putting the necklace into it and closing her palm over it.

"He would have wanted you to have it." Damon answered not willing to utter his name unless he wanted to fall apart.

Grabbing his hand, Elena squeezed his reassuringly. He wasn't sure why the small gesture made him so happy, but it did. He would have to hold onto these moments for as long as he could because there was no telling how much longer he would have them. He would tell her everything. Even if it meant losing her forever, he knew he had to be honest with her.

"I think I know exactly what I have to do." She said leading him over to where the others now stood.

"As much as I love you Elena Gilbert, I think there's someone who needs you more than I do today." Damon said as he looked at Caroline and Bonnie. Caroline looked about ready to fall apart and no one could blame her.

"Are you sure?" she asked unsure about whether she should leave him in his time of need.

"I think saying goodbye to my brother is something I need to do by myself. Go be with your friend."

Nodding, Elena stood beside Caroline and Bonnie as Damon looked at Stefan's memorial sight. Silence filled the memorial as they all agreed that there were no words to describe this tragedy. Later they would all sit around the table discussing the best parts of Stefan's life and what they would do without him. But for now, they had all agreed on leaving one piece of themselves behind for Stefan's memorial.

Alaric and Bonnie had gone the traditional route as they had both places roses on Stefan's grave crossing them over one another as Matt stepped up taking off the vervain bracelet Stefan had given him so long ago as he placed it on top of the sight. Elena was next as she put her necklace on Stefan's memorial, a sad smile crossing over her face as she no doubt remembered her first love fondly as Caroline stepped up putting a tiny snow globe that Stefan had gotten her for Christmas one year as a single tear rolled down her eye. Damon knew she was putting up a brave front, but he would defiantly be checking up on her later, if not to discuss something very important with her.

Before he knew it, it was his turn to give something to Stefan, at first, he had struggled to decide what exactly to put there until one moment he knew exactly what he wanted to give him. Staring down at his daylight ring, he looked at it fondly. It was a symbol of his life as a vampire. The life Stefan had given to him and he had always resented him for. But now Stefan had given him a chance at a new life. A Life that he would not be wasting anytime soon no matter how much it would hurt him in the long run.

Taking off his daylight ring, Damon placed it on the sight, sending a quick thank you to above for Stefan for the life he had given him as he took Elena's arm and walked with the group back to the Salvatore boarding house. Knowing full well that it would never be a home for him again without his brother by his side.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Damon asked standing in the doorway as Caroline turned away from watching Josie and Lizzie standing up to meet him.

"Girls, can you give me and your uncle Damon some privacy?"

"Yes mommy." Lizzie answered taking Josie's hand and leaving the room as Caroline turned her full attention to him waiting to see what he had to say.

"What's this about?"

"We need to talk about what's going to happen with the boarding house."

"What do you mean? Obviously, you still live here. And of course, me and the twins will be staying as planned like Stefan would have wanted. And now that Elena is back, she'll be here. What else would we use it for? Unless you're planning on kicking us all out and leaving town to avoid certain other things."

"I would never think about running away from that. I have to face the consequences of my actions no matter how much it hurts, but if things do go south, I need to assure that this boarding house doesn't go under. I need to make sure that this place that was filled with so many memories doesn't go to waste. It's what Stefan would have wanted."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I'm signing the deed over to you completely. This house is way too big for me to live in right now and I need to start somewhere fresh. Somewhere away from all the memories and the past traumas. I think it'll be good for everyone involved if you were the owner instead."

"What would I do with such a big house like this. I have enough problems with being alone to begin with. I don't need a big empty house that's a living breathing reminder of the husband I just lost. I can't fall apart right now Damon. I have children to worry about now. I just can't flip that switch and hope the pain goes away this time."

And just like that Damon knew what he had to do. He knew how to continue Stefan's legacy with the help of Caroline, Alaric, and their twins. It was the most perfect solution. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before.

"What if you weren't alone? What if we open my home to people just like us? Or was like us if you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure if I'm following."

"What if we made this into a safe place for children like your girls. A place where they didn't have to hide what they are but thrive in who they are. A place where they could learn to coexist with humans. A place where they can learn how to be a supernatural being without the pressure of having to hide it from others like them."

"Like a school or something? Would they still have to go back to their parents after they were done?"

"We could make the rooms here into dorm rooms. Or like a- "

"Boarding school." They said in unison as they laughed slightly. It was the first time they had ever been in sync.

"That's actually pretty genius, but how would we get the money for it?"

"Stefan had a savings plan in case of emergencies and so do I. We can start off with that and ask for benefactors as the school gets on a roll. It won't be easy at first, but I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it."

"Who would run it?"

"I have someone in mind, but for right now I think it's best if we get some sleep. I'm pretty sure we're both exhausted after the day we had and I- I need to talk to Elena before any of this goes further."

"Whatever happens. We'll all be here for you. You won't have to face this loss alone."

"Thank you for being so kind to me these past couple of days Caroline. God knows that I don't deserve it."

She hugged him unexpectedly as her wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. It really was amazing how far they had come. He hadn't always treated her the best, but even at his worst she tried to be at least civil to him. He appreciated him. He wished he had been better. He wished he could be better. Maybe getting his humanity back and being human was his chance at accomplishing that. It still felt like a whirlwind being human. It was an adjustment period that was for sure.

"We're rooting for you. Just remember that."

"Goodnight Caroline." Damon answered turning the knob and exiting her room to go see Elena.

Guilt and terror filled Damon's gut as he walked down to his room where Elena would be as he took deep breaths. He had to do this. He didn't want to start the rest of their lives together keeping secrets from her and he didn't want her to learn about Tyler's death from someone else. She p [probably had already thought something was up when he didn't show up for Stefan's funeral and he knew it would be only a matter of time before she pouts the pieces together and found out what had happened. He had to make things right. He had to tell her everything. Even if it meant losing her. It was better than not being honest with her.

Taking a deep breath, Damon turned the handle to his bedroom door opening it to reveal Elena looking at something he had been working on. His heart hurting for his brother once more as she dropped the photo album on her lap looking as if she had done something wrong.

"I'm sorry. I found it and I just wanted to look at it for a little while."

"It's okay. I was actually making this for Caroline and was hoping to get someone else's opinion before I give it to her."

"It's good. I'm sure she'll love it."

"It'll never be enough. It's not the same as having him here."

"I know." She replied leaning into him trying to give him comfort.

"We need to talk."

And with that Damon told Elena everything knowing that their lives would never be the same again.

"Elena? Please say something." He said after a long hour of silence. He was sitting on the floor his back to a wall and his legs crossed over one another as Elena sat on the bed her face stained with tears after everything, he had just told her.

"I just need a minute. It's a lot to take in."

"Take all the time you need."

"What happened to her?"

"To who?"

"Sybil."

"She's dead. Kane killed her."

"Good. I don't know what I would do if she was still around." Elena responded face darkening slightly.

"Everything wasn't her fault Elena. She may have got into my head, but overall I'm the one who killed Tyler."

"I'm not saying that it wasn't also your fault. I just hate her, because she messed with the people I love and I couldn't do anything about it."

"There's nothing you could have done Elena. She got to all of us. If you were here, she would have got to you too."

"That's not the point and you know it."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Please, stop apologizing. We'll be going all night if you keep on doing that."

"You're right. It's getting late and I think we're both exhausted. I can sleep in the living room if you need some time to yourself."

"I think that's the best idea for now. "she answered coldly. Damon didn't blame her. She would hate him too.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me. Goodnight, Elena." He said going downstairs before she had a chance to answer him back.

Hellfire surrounded him as Damon coughed feeling as if his lungs were collapsing on him. He wasn't sure what he was doing there all he knew was that he had to find Stefan.

"Stefan! Stefan! Come back. Please. Come back!"

"Stefan!" Damon shouted as he sat up on the couch sweat dripping down his face and body as he tried to contain his breathing. It looks like the nightmares were coming on full force tonight.

"Are you okay?" a voice in the darkness asked startling Damon as he turned around to see Elena walk in the entrance way, tears streaming down her own face. This was hard for her too.

"No." he answered as Elena came closer to him and sat down on the couch pulling him closer into her arms. No matter how furious she was with him, they both needed each other at that moment. Greif really was a powerful thing.

"I miss him Elena. I miss him so damn much it hurts."

"I know. I know." She whispered. "I completely understand. "

"It should have been me. I was the one who was supposed to die."

"He died to save you, Damon. He died so you could have a chance to live again. Don't waste it. I know it's going to hurt like hell, but you have to try."

"I'll try. For him I'll try. It's just going to take me awhile to get better."

"That reaction is completely understandable. It'll taker time to work through, but we'll get through it together. I promise you that."

"Why are you forgiving me? I don't deserve it."

"Because you've been through enough. Now come on. Let's get to bed."

Not wanting to argue, Damon took Elena's hand as they went up to his bedroom putting an end to this devastating night.