Chapter 8: Real Life

Effie startled awake, not quite sure what had woken her up. It took her a moment to place the unfamiliar room and, once she had, it took her longer to convince her racing heart to calm down. She hadn't closed the curtains before going to bed and she was surprised by how much natural light was slipping through the window. So far from the city, it wasn't headlights or streetlights but the moon and the stars. Somehow, she had expected it to be pitch dark.

She startled again when she heard the cry coming from somewhere over her head, on the roof. Some stupid bird. An owl, probably.

Muttering under her breath, she checked the alarm clock, feeling wide awake. It wasn't that late but she had gone to bed around the same time as the children, feeling exhausted – and quite full because Haymitch made very good lasagnas. She lied down, closed her eyes and tried to get back to sleep but her mind wouldn't settle. Dark thoughts swirled around her skull: was she making a mistake choosing to stay? Should she call her parents and beg them to take her back? Should she visit her ex-fiancé and grovel?

After ten minutes of tossing and turning, she muffled a frustrated scream against her pillow and kicked off the blankets. She had spotted bags of chamomile in one of the kitchen's cupboards, perhaps that would calm her down enough that she could go back to sleep.

It was cold far from her nest of blankets and she shivered when her bare feet ventured on the corridor's floorboards. She was careful to keep quiet, mindful of the sleeping children on the other side of the corridor.

She relaxed when she saw the light coming from downstairs. Haymitch must have still been up. Perhaps she could tempt him with a mug of herbal tea and some conversation until she felt sleepy again – or until she forgot why the game of cat and mouse they had going was so fun and she pushed him straight to the finish line. Somehow, she thought he would know how to make her body limp and heavy enough that sleep wouldn't be a problem.

She was mid-stairs when she heard the voices and she froze.

"You ran a background check on her?" Haymitch's voice scoffed, sounding a little amused.

Effie frowned. As far as she could tell, Haymitch and whoever he was talking to were in the living-room.

"You've invited a total stranger to live with my two best girls." a man answered, just as amused. "Of course, I ran a background check on her. I was at work anyway, might as well do something useful for once."

The voice was somehow familiar but she had met so many people that day that it took her a moment to identify Chaff.

"Don't you think that's overkill?" Haymitch taunted.

Effie went down a step lower, her frown deepening. She didn't like the sound of what she was hearing. They were clearly talking about her.

A background check? Wasn't that quite invasive?

"Like you weren't planning on it." Chaff accused with a chuckle. "I've been your second in command for a good decade, remember? I know how you think. You knew I'd do it and, this way, you keep your hands clean and you don't have to feel guilty about investigating your little crush."

Effie gaped, waiting for the denial that would surely follow…

There was none.

Haymitch was quiet for entirely too long and it was as good as a confession.

"It ain't a crush…" he eventually countered, almost too low for her to pick up.

She hastily stepped down, wincing when one of the steps creaked under her weight. She froze, waiting for someone to call her out on her eavesdropping, ready to pretend she had just come down and hadn't heard a thing – and then maybe go back upstairs, escape through the window and run for the hills because who ran background checks on other people?

There was a clear pause in the conversation but nobody came out to accuse her of spying though.

"You prefer love at first sight?" Chaff mocked. "Look, I get the kids got taken with her… I've heard all about it from Prim, she looked like a princess, your eyes met, it was all butterflies, rainbows and fucking unicorns…"

"I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed a unicorn." Haymitch snorted. "It ain't love, don't be fucking stupid…"

"Of course, it ain't love." Chaff retorted. He must have been pacing or something like it because his shadow was dancing back and forth in the halo of light spilling in the hallway. Effie watched it, biting down on her bottom lip. "It's your dick saying it's tired of being on holidays. Can't blame you. She's hot."

"Careful." Haymitch growled.

The knot of dread in Effie's stomach eased up a little. At least he wasn't partaking in that kind of talk.

"See?" Chaff triumphed. "You ain't thinking clearly. Cause inviting a strange girl to live with you and take care of your kids? Fuck, that ain't you."

There was a short silence and Effie pictured Haymitch rolling his eyes.

"There's something about her…" he replied, hesitating a little. "She's… bright."

"Not according to what came up, she ain't." Chaff mocked. "Graduated from high school with average grades. No college education. You don't have a genius here."

"At least, she graduated." Haymitch retorted. "Not sure dropouts like us have got room to judge her grades."

She relaxed a little more. She liked that he was defending her even though she was still uncomfortable with the fact there was probably a folder right there with her whole life printed on it. She had nothing to hide, not really, but still it was… She enjoyed learning to know him. Him having everything about her already on paper felt like cheating.

"You found any red flags?" Haymitch asked before Chaff could sneer another unflattering remark. "That's all I need to know."

"Didn't find much of anything." his friend reluctantly grumbled. "Pretty sad life she lived, that girl. She had a cotillion, which seems to be a rich men's shit party to show off their daughters and sell them as wives…"

"Her family sounds shitty." Haymitch sighed. "That's also why I'm not in any hurry to send her back."

"You and your thing for strays…" Chaff scoffed. "One sister. Husband's cheating on her. Two nephews. Father's some sort of business tycoon, accounts are clear so he's the honest kind, I guess…" There was a ruffling of papers. "Four engagements counting the ones from yesterday. First one was gay. Three others were old. The last one turned out a little shady on paper. Several dropped charges of domestic abuse from the ex-wife. She dodged a bullet here if you ask me…"

"That's not a red flag, Chaff." Haymitch accused. "Don't need to know her whole life. She doesn't have a record, that's good enough for me."

"No criminal record, no." More ruffling of papers. "She's barren."

Effie stifled a gasp into her hands. They had her medical records? And they were looking at them?

Katniss had explained Chaff was into private security and she had understood they were into surveillance but this? This was extreme. And completely inappropriate and…

"Yeah, she mentioned." Haymitch growled. "You're tossing that out there to make her feel like shit?"

"Just wondering how long she's gonna keep on listening." Chaff retorted. "All that spying doesn't exactly make me want to trust her."

They were making fun of her.

They knew she was there. Of course, they did. They were former Special Forces and who knew what else.

She flushed crimson and huffed, torn between storming upstairs and ripping the two of them a new one. She felt ridiculous, standing there in Haymitch's borrowed shirt. Ridiculous and humiliated.

She hesitated too long. Haymitch appeared on the living-room's threshold, a sheepish expression on his face. "Effie…"

"I'm leaving." The words tumbled out of her mouth but she didn't try to take them back. She took a deep breath and the decision settled in her chest. "I'm leaving." she repeated, turning around to limp back up the stairs.

She saw the flash of alarm on Haymitch's face but she didn't care. She didn't count on him catching up with her. She was barely past mid-stairs when he grabbed her arm. She shrugged him off, whirling around to face him.

"Don't touch me!" she shrieked.

He glanced up with a wince.

"Don't shout, you're gonna frighten the kids." he whispered.

"Oh, you mean like you are frightening me, right now?" she retorted, keeping her voice low nevertheless. Her blue eyes darted past him and to the man standing at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed. Chaff's face was blank but his dark eyes roamed down her bare legs and she felt a chill that had nothing to do with the cold. She glanced back at Haymitch and then made a dash for her bedroom, hurt ankle be damned. She should have known he would follow her. "Leave me alone." she growled when he closed the door behind him.

She looked around for a potential weapon and found a grand total of nothing. Eventually she grabbed the ugly vase on the dresser and lifted it as a warning.

What would good a dusty vase do against a former soldier though?

There were tears pricking her eyes and she backed away until her back hit the wall. The window was to her right. If she managed to open it…

"Princess, please…" Haymitch whispered, lifting both hands in front of him. He made no move to cross the room and come closer. "I won't hurt you. You know I won't hurt you."

"I don't know you!" she replied, her breath coming out in heavy heaves. She had been stupid. So stupid. This wasn't some kind of fucked up fairytale. This was real life. She had been lulled to a sense of safety by the children and now…

Now what?, the rational part of her mind asked. What did she expect to happen? They had invaded her privacy, they hadn't threatened her life. It was not okay but it was not dangerous either.

"Effie." he said again, his tone gentle. "I'm sorry. I didn't think he would air that much, alright? That last comment was wrong."

"That last comment?" She half-laughed, feeling a little hysterical. "The whole thing is wrong. Who does that sort of things?"

He shrugged, his face a little apologetic but not quite regretful. "We're paranoid people. You learn to be in our line of work."

"Well, good luck with that." she hissed, putting down the vase. He wasn't going to attack her. She didn't think so. Her guts told her no. He hadn't tried to reach for her again. And if he had wanted to… He had had ample opportunities to corner her during the day. Hell, she had made it clear she was interested. If he had wanted to… He would have already. "I hope you had fun dissecting my life. For the record, if you had asked, I would have told you whatever you wanted to know."

She headed for the dresser and opened the sadly empty drawer she had filled with her new underwear. She ripped the package open with her teeth and quickly slipped a pair of panties on. At the sharp intake of breath behind her, she knew he had caught a glimpse of her ass. She didn't care. It was the only glimpse of it he was ever going to get.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice a little strangled.

"I told you." she snapped. "I am leaving."

She dashed past him and back into the corridor, followed it to its very end, being careful to keep quiet when she passed in front of the girls' room. Haymitch was following hot on her trail, looking a little panicked.

"You don't have to." he insisted. "Look, I'm sorry. I knew you were on the stairs, I heard them creaked. I thought… I wasn't hiding it from you this way…"

She tossed him an incredulous look and marched on until she reached the open door of his bedroom. She hadn't gone in there yet – out of respect for his privacy, imagine that foreign concept. She flicked the switch so the light turned on and paused on the threshold for a moment to contemplate the mess of that room. Dirty clothes on the floor, books scattered around, a few forgotten toys in the corners…

She shook her head and headed for the dresser she finally spotted on the corner, buried under a heap of shirts.

"So it makes it alright because I accidentally overheard you invading my privacy?" she deadpanned.

He slowly closed the door. "It wasn't that invasive… You heard… He didn't tell me…"

"He told you enough." she snapped. "He told you too much. All you had to do was ask."

She opened and closed drawers a little at random. There was no proper system that she could understand.

"So you're snooping around my drawers as payback?" he asked, sitting down on the unmade bed.

She finally found what she wanted in the bottom drawer. She pulled out a pair of jeans and slipped them on. The length wasn't ideal but it would do once she rolled them up at the ankles, the waist now… It wouldn't stay on. She looked around until she found a belt and secured it as tightly as it would go.

"You're not really leaving, right?" he insisted, sounding a little wary. "You're just…"

"Oh, I am." she cut him off. She snatched a flannel button down shirt from the heap of clothes, sniffed it and then slipped it on over her borrowed shirt. She found a balled pair of socks and put them on quickly and then she stormed out, as quietly as she could, in the corridor, and headed downstairs.

There was nothing in the guest room she care to retrieve. The heels were the only valuable thing she owned at this point but she didn't want to carry them around and escaping on them was stupid. Haymitch had made a short trip to the girls' mother's house as promised earlier and had brought back sneakers that had seen better days. She found them where she had left them in the hallway, next to the front door.

Chaff, she was pleased to notice, had made himself scarce.

She sat down on the floor to slip the sneakers on, fighting a little with her uncooperative ankle.

"Effie, be serious." Haymitch scoffed, crouching next to her. "It's the middle of the night. Where are you going to go?"

"Where people won't run background checks on me and where their friends won't ogle me like I am a juicy bone." she sneered.

"Effie." he repeated, placing a tentative hand on her arm, stopping her futile struggle with the shoelace. "Please."

She angled her head up to glare at him. "Please what?"

"Please, stay." he requested.

He held her gaze as she kept glaring, his grey eyes a little sad.

"I am angry." she growled.

"Yeah. I got that part." He winced. "Like I said… I'm sorry. Really."

"I understand checking to see if I am a criminal on the run but my medical records?" she growled.

"That was overkill." he agreed immediately. "Chaff's protective. It makes him an ass sometimes."

"Language." she rebuked. "He made me uncomfortable just now."

"I'll make sure he doesn't make that kind of comments again." he promised.

"Make sure he doesn't leer at my legs either." she retorted, finally letting her shoulders slouch a little.

Haymitch's hand was still on her arm and he squeezed it gently. "I'll burn the rest of the folder. Won't look."

"It isn't like there is some huge secret in there." she huffed. "I would have told you, that's all. You did not have to sneak behind my back." She pursed her lips. "And for the record I was not spying, I just wanted some chamomile because I couldn't sleep."

She was so keyed up now that sleep would be a long time in coming.

"I'm gonna make you some." he offered, standing up. He outstretched a hand to help her up. She kicked off the sneakers and grabbed it, letting him haul her up to her feet. He didn't let go immediately. "You weren't really gonna leave, yeah?"

Of course, she hadn't been going to leave. Not right then anyway. Where did he want her to go?

She had known her theatrics would make him reveal himself however. If he cared enough to hold her back… Never mind the fact that if he was going to turn into a violent psychopath, it would have been now. But he hadn't even raised his voice and that, more than anything, told her she had been right to trust her guts about him.

"Do you want to tell me more about your not crush for me and how bright I am?" she deadpanned.

He chuckled and used the grip on her hand to tug her forward. She fell into the hug a little by accident but she didn't try to escape it once she was there. His arms were strong around her and he smelt good. Like the woods and cheap soap and something underneath that was manly and purely him.

She almost forgot to be angry for a second.

"I believe this is our first fight." she pointed out.

"We really do stuff out of order." he mocked, drawing back a little so he could cup her cheek.

He tilted her head up…

She knew what was coming the moment she met his eyes. She felt the pull deep in her belly, her lips tingled in anticipation…

She escaped his arms with an haughty sniff. "Oh, no, certainly not. We are not having our first kiss after what happened tonight. Never mind anything else so keep your mind out of the gutter."

She headed to the living-room and sat on the couch. The jeans and the belt were digging in her stomach in an uncomfortable way so she kicked both off. She kept the socks and the button up shirt layer though. She grabbed the plaid from the back of the couch and tossed it over her legs.

"You're cold?" Haymitch asked from the threshold. "Could start a fire…"

"Isn't it a little early in the season for that?" she hummed.

The fireplace was large and entirely made of bricks. It looked old but she could see it had been upgraded recently because it was encased behind a thick glass panel. She supposed it was safer for the children.

The side of the fireplace was stocked shoulder high with wood.

"It's gonna be a cold winter with a fall so chilly." he answered. It didn't make much sense to her but she liked watching him ready the wood and build the fire. "Hand me the folder, Princess."

Chaff had left it on the coffee table and she hadn't even noticed it. She grabbed it, skimming through it quickly… There was a short summary of all the important people in her life. She wondered if Rufus really was cheating on Lyssa and, if it was true, if she ought to tell her sister.

There were no terrible secrets in there because she had none.

Truly, the only thing that really made her furious was the fact Chaff had violated her medical records. Her infertility was still something she was struggling with – and the fact that her mother repeated to her endlessly that it played against her when it came to finding a husband didn't exactly make the whole thing easier.

She had mentioned it the previous night when she had told Haymitch about her former engagements but she had done so casually and he hadn't even seemed to notice. He must have been paying more attention than she had thought but he still remained unfazed by the news.

He saw what pages she was looking at and made a face. "I'm sorry about that."

About that but not about the rest, not really.

She didn't get the sense he was a man who apologized a lot though so he probably meant it. At least she hoped so.

She handed him the folder and watched as he scattered the sheets of paper before cracking a match. He lowered the glass back down once the fire had taken and disappeared toward the kitchen, presumably to make her the chamomile he had promised.

He came back a few minutes later with a mug that was too warm for her to hold. She placed it down on the floor. Instead of taking a seat on the coffee table or on the armchair like the previous night, he settled at the other end of the couch. It wasn't that big a couch. She dug her feet under his thigh. His lips twitched but he didn't comment.

They didn't talk for a long time. They watched the fire, they sipped their tea… At some point, Haymitch's hand coiled around her hurt ankle, cradling it carefully… Effie was getting a little drowsy. It was all very domestic.

They did do everything out of order.

A part of her felt more comfortable there, in that living-room, on that couch, than she had ever felt anywhere else though. It was only her second night there but she had the feeling she could have spent her whole life in that house and felt content – if not happy.

"If this becomes a thing…" she found the courage to mutter, clutching the empty mug in both hands. "You and I, I mean…" She let her sentence trail off, giving him an opportunity to remind her he didn't actually date, but he didn't say anything so she carried on. "Would it be a problem? The fact I cannot have babies?"

He didn't even look at her, his grey eyes were still lost in the flames. "I never wanted kids." He snorted before she could say anything. "Yeah, I know. Ironic." He shook his head and turned toward her. "I like having the girls here. They've changed my life. But I don't want any more kids."

She relaxed a little. "Alright." She playfully wriggled her toes under his thigh, a grin stretching her lips. "Tell me again how bright I am, please."

He rolled his eyes but there was some fondness on his face. His thumb ran up and down the side of her ankle. "You're just… bigger than life." He shrugged. "And a bit crazy. You've got to be to jump in a stranger's car like you did." The tips of his ears flushed red and he cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed. "I don't know…" he grumbled. "I just knew I'd like you the moment I saw you."

She giggled and shifted, folding her legs under her so she could whisper in his ear. "I like you too."

He turned his head, his cheek bumping into her nose, his stubble scraping against her jaw… She let their mouths brush together once or twice, just to feel the burning need flicker to life in her belly… But she drew back before he could properly kiss her…

She bit down on her bottom lip, grinning hard. "I told you. Not tonight."

He groaned. "Tease."

It didn't come out as an accusation. More like an amused rebuke.

"Think about that the next time you invade my privacy behind my back." she chuckled, sauntering off.

"Oh, I'm gonna think about it alright…" he mumbled in a rough hot tone that told her exactly what he would do while he was thinking about it.

She barely even felt the tinge in her ankle as she hopped up the stairs.

She felt like she was walking on clouds.

Well, that took a turn... Chaff almost sabotaged the hayffie XD Well, Haymitch isn't entirely innocent, is he? But progress is being made. What did you think? Should Effie have fled? Let me know!