Sorry – I know this part seems to be taking a long time – but I wanted to explore the fall-out from Shawn's time in captivity. I will – eventually – return to some of the adventure and tie up the loose ends, but for now I hope you'll still with me on this story.
He heard a strange beeping sound and for a while just listened, too tired to try and figure out what it was. He realized, rather suddenly, that he felt odd. He hurt, but it was a vague feeling, almost as if it was someone else's body. The next thing he noticed was that there was something in his throat. As soon as he felt it, it started to bother him.
He could feel the panic begin to rise in his chest. Something was keeping him from breathing. He tried reaching up to pull it out, but for some reason his arms wouldn't work. It all rushed back. He was trapped – held by an insane killer. God – no.
"Shawn." A voice said his name. It didn't sound like Bill, but it must be. He was still being held captive. Oh God – he was going to die.
"Shawn!"
No – no, he was dead already – wasn't he? He tried to move but nothing seemed to work. Please someone – help him.
"Shawn – take it easy! You're okay son. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here, just relax."
Wait – that voice. It wasn't Bill – it was – Dad? It sounded like his father, but how could that be. He remembered being in that chair. He remembered Bill taking the bat and – no, please, he couldn't still be there.
"Shawn, listen to me. You're okay. You're safe. You're in the hospital and you're going to be just fine. Come on kiddo, open your eyes. I'm here and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
Could he believe the voice? Was it really his father? He was afraid – afraid to open his eyes and find that it was just a dream, that he really was still tied to that chair, dying.
But he couldn't stay here like this. He needed to move, to breathe. And what if it was his father? If it was, he knew he would look after him. He wouldn't let Bill hurt him anymore, not his father.
He slowly tried to open his eyes, even though they seemed glued shut. He felt like he needed to breathe faster – but something was prohibiting him, which in turn increased the panic. He tried again to open his eyes, and this time could see a sliver of light.
"That's it Shawn." His father's voice softened. "You can do it son. Just open your eyes. I'm right here."
Oh please – let it be true. He pushed his lids up higher and almost cried when he saw nothing. Everything was bright and fuzzy and there were dots of lights floating around. He wasn't blind but he couldn't see.
"There ya go", that voice that promised safety encouraged. "You're doing it Shawn."
He managed to turn his head slightly, facing the voice. Was it his Dad, or some cruel joke? He blinked his eyes once, twice, three times. There, things were starting to come into focus.
Oh thank God. It was his father. He blinked again, trying to make sure that he was really here, that he wouldn't be blinked away as a figment of his imagination. It was then he noticed another presence – an older woman wearing some kind of uniform. Who was she? A moment later he forgot about her as his father came more sharply into focus.
He wanted to cry. His Dad was here and he wouldn't let Bill hurt him anymore. He wasn't quite sure where he was or why he was here, but he knew that Henry Spencer wouldn't let anyone harm him. Even if he wasn't that good a son, the elder Spencer knew his duty and his duty was to protect his family.
Shawn tried to speak but then remembered that there was something in his throat. His eyebrows lowered in confusion. What was happening to him?
"It's okay Shawn", the woman moved closer to him and spoke softly. "You're on a respirator – it's helping you breathe. I've called the doctor and he'll let us know if we can take it out. In the meantime just try and relax. You're going to be okay."
He stared at her, trying to figure out what it was she was saying. He didn't understand, but she seemed safe. He glanced at his father, who was smiling encouragingly at him. Okay, if his father wasn't worried then he wouldn't be either.
"Are you in pain?" the woman asked. "Would you like more painkiller?"
He frowned again. Pain? He understood that word. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to think. Yes – yes he was in pain. Now that she'd mentioned it he could feel it coursing through him. He whimpered around the thing in his throat and saw her move to his side.
"There, that should help."
He didn't know what would help – wanting only to feel relief. He wanted to cry – to scream – but he couldn't move, couldn't do anything. He felt a hand touch his shoulder gently, staying there as if to give comfort and his father's voice telling him to hang on, it would get better. A moment later his father's words came true as he felt a flush of warmth run through him and the pain began to subside. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears squeeze out from between his lids. Thank God. He didn't think he could bear anymore.
"What's this?" another voice disturbed his warm relief. "I hear Mr. Spencer woke up?"
"Yes Doctor", the woman replied. "He seemed to be aware, although in quite a bit of pain. I just gave him some more medication and he seems to have settled down."
"Good, good. Well, let's check him out and see if we can get rid of the respirator." The doctor picked up the chart and looked over all the numbers and comments written there. After a moment he approached Shawn and did a quick examination.
Turning to Henry he smiled. "He's improving", he said simply. "It looks like his kidney function is returning and things are starting to regulate. I'm going to try and take him off the respirator. Hopefully he'll do okay, but we'll watch his oxygen levels carefully. We may have to reinsert it if they begin to drop again."
Henry nodded, just grateful that Shawn seemed to be responding to the treatment being given him, even though he still looked terribly ill. He'd been with his son for over 36 hours and was ready to collapse himself, but refused to leave until he knew Shawn was going to be okay. Gus had stayed as well, even though he could only come into the room occasionally, when Henry took a short break. It had been helpful to have him and although Henry would probably never say anything, it felt like he was sharing the burden and the fear with Gus.
The others had had to leave to go back to work or to go home and sleep but had all left their best wishes and assurances that they would check back in as soon as they could. Juliet O'Hara has seemed especially torn up to be leaving, but Chief Vick had told her to go home and rest and she'd reluctantly agreed.
Henry watched as the Doctor and Nurse Rodriguez – his favorite nurse of all time – prepared to take out the breathing tube. The older woman had just returned for another shift, after having been off since the day before. For some reason – Henry didn't know why – he felt like Shawn had a better chance when she was around.
"Okay Shawn", the doctor was speaking directly to the unmoving man. Henry could tell that his son was at least partially awake, although he didn't know how aware he was.
"We're going to take out the breathing tube. Do you understand me?" There was a pause and then a tiny nod. Henry couldn't help the smile that appeared.
"Good – now on the count of three, I want you to breathe out and keep breathing out. Do you understand?" Another pause and then another nod. "Okay – here it goes."
Henry watched as they pulled out the tube – and then winced as Shawn gagged and then coughed.
"Here", the nurse spooned some ice into his mouth. "Suck this slowly – it will help."
They watched and waited for the next few minutes, checking Shawn's oxygen readings every few seconds. "It looks like he's holding steady", the doctor finally said with a small smile. "He's doing well Mr. Spencer. If he continues to do this well by the end of the day, we'll transfer him to the ICU. I also suggest that you might want to go and get something to eat and rest. You look exhausted."
Henry shook his head and the doctor opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly stopped. "Okay – but remember – Shawn is going to need you even more when he wakes up. If you're so exhausted that you collapse you'll be no good to him."
Henry refused to listen to the doctor, knowing he had to be there for his son. He hadn't been there for him before or Shawn wouldn't be in this position. And he was going to make damned sure he stayed and protected him for as long as he needed him.
"Dad?" the soft voice startled him and he looked down at Shawn. He was staring at him, his eyes only partially open, but this time looking as if he was aware.
"Shawn? How ya doing kid?" He moved his chair closer to the bed and carefully reached out and put his hand on his son's shoulder, one of the few places not covered with a bandage or cast.
"'kay", Shawn murmured, blinking quickly. "Where - ?"
"You're in the hospital and you're doing well. All you need to do is rest and get better. Don't worry about anything else."
Shawn nodded but his eyes began tracking the rest of the room. Henry could see a small frown appear, but just figured he was feeling disoriented. "It's okay", he squeezed gently with his hand. "You're doing fine."
Shawn slowly closed his eyes. The brief foray into consciousness had exhausted him. While it had been good to see his father, he had quickly noticed something. There was no one else here.
Gus had meant what he'd said when he'd told Shawn he no longer wanted to be his friend. He probably decided that it was best not to even come to the hospital but instead to make a clean break.
Even though the painkillers had taken affect, Shawn could feel the sharp agony that that thought brought. Gus! He needed his friend right now – but knew he'd lost him because of his own selfishness.
And Jules – he shouldn't be surprised she wasn't here. He didn't mean that much to her, even though he had thought, at one time, that maybe she was beginning to like him. He sighed and knew he had to forget about her. She needed to lead her own life and the last thing she needed was a man who was pretty much useless for anything.
He slowly drifted off to sleep, at least for now feeling safe, but knowing that, except for his father, he was still very much alone.
"Gus!" Henry walked into the waiting room to see Gus dozing on one of the uncomfortable couches. There were a number of other people there, and some of them were glaring at the man taking up so much room.
"Huh?" Gus blinked and sat up quickly. "Shawn? How is he? Is he okay? What's happened?"
"Whoa", Henry laughed and put his hand on Gus' shoulder. "He's fine. In fact he woke up and the doctor took out the respirator. He's breathing on his own and things are looking better."
"Really?" Gus blinked and then smiled. "Really?" he asked again. "Good for you Shawn!", he said, looking up. "Uh – can I see him?"
"Yeah, in fact you can sit with him for a while if that's okay. I think I'm going to go home and get showered and changed. I'm afraid I reek! That's if you don't mind?"
"Mind?" Gus leapt to his feet. "Of course I don't mind. Take as long as you need. And don't worry. I'll call if anything comes up."
"I know you will Gus – thanks. I'm sure it'll be okay though. Nurse Rodriguez seems to think he's over the worst and that he'll be alright now."
"Nurse Rodriguez?"
"Yeah", Henry grinned. "I think she's Shawn's guardian angel. She'll make sure he's okay."
Gus was obviously itching to go and see Shawn so Henry clapped him on the arm. "Thanks Gus."
"Hey- Shawn's my friend. You don't need to thank me."
"Yeah I do – because you're more than a friend. I'll be back soon."
Gus watched the older man head out the doors of the ER and then turned and hurried to Shawn's room. He felt a huge burden drop from his shoulders. His friend was going to be okay.
"He's sleeping", the nurse said with a smile. "He's looking much better."
"Are they keeping him in the CCU?" Gus knew only the most critical patients were kept here as it was expensive and required continuous monitoring.
"We'll probably keep him here for another 24 hours and then when he's completely stable he'll be moved to his own room."
"Thank God! I thought that -" Gus stopped, not wanting to even say the words.
"I know", the older woman said with a compassionate smile. "It was close, but he's a fighter. He also had the love of a lot of good people surrounding him. I wouldn't have wanted to be the spirit that tried to take him away from here, not with all of you watching out for him."
Gus smiled but then looked into the room where Shawn was sleeping. He looked so frail and ill still that it was hard to watch him. At least he no longer had the respirator helping him breath. He thanked the nurse and then slowly made his way in and sat down.
"I'm here Shawn", he said softly. "I'll watch out for you."
Gus found himself dozing off and on as the quiet in the room lulled him to sleep. He'd barely slept in days and it was hard to stay awake. He could feel his head start to drop and his eyes close. Maybe just a few minutes rest and he'd be better.
Shawn opened his eyes and was relieved when this time he could actually see. It also didn't take him as long to remember where he was. He was in the hospital and his Dad was here, watching out for him. Bill couldn't – no, don't think about him. He's gone and you're safe Shawn.
"Dad?" he whispered, suddenly needing to know his father was here still, keeping watch. He turned his head and immediately frowned.
What? Gus? No, that can't be. Gus wouldn't be here. He was gone – out of Shawn's life. Why was he here?
Shawn was too weak, too sick, too traumatized to be able to deal with all the emotions that seeing his friend brought up. He closed his eyes and the tears started to fall. He no longer knew what was happening.
Gus jerked away, practically twisting his neck as he sat up. Damn he was tired. He glanced at Shawn – and had to do a double take. Was Shawn crying?
"Shawn!" He sat up even more and leaned forward. Sure enough tears were leaking out of his eyes – which were closed so tightly it was obvious he was awake.
"Shawn!" he repeated. "What's wrong? Are you in pain? Shall I call the nurse?" He stopped when Shawn's eyes opened and his friend looked at him – an expression of extreme grief on his face. What the hell? "Shawn?" he said again, this time more quietly. "What is it? What's wrong?"
He could see his friend try and swallow and then he shook his head. "Noth -ing", he said, his voice so low and scratchy it was hard for Gus to tell what he'd said. "M'fine."
"No you're not buddy", Gus reached out and went to touch Shawn's hand, but pulled back in case he hurt him. "You're not fine – but you will be. You just need to rest and let the doctors and nurses look after you. You sure you don't want me to call the nurse? When was the last time you had your meds?"
Shawn raised an eyebrow at him. How would he know? He'd been lying here asleep or unconscious for – he had no idea how long.
"Oh, sorry. Uh – I'll just check with the nurse." He was going to turn when Shawn's hand moved on the bed. He understood from that that his friend didn't want him to leave. "You sure you're okay?"
Shawn nodded, too tired to try and speak anymore. After a second he took a deep breath. "M'okay. Not – hur –ting."
"Good." Gus settled back down and simply stared at his friend. After a moment he smiled. "It's good to see you Shawn. You had us all worried."
Two lines appeared between the sick man's brows, but he didn't say anything. If Gus had known what he was thinking he would have been worried. Shawn doubted anyone really cared that much.
"The doctors say you're much better. Soon they're going to move you to your own room." At Shawn's curious look Gus explained – this was, after all, his natural milieu. "You're in the Critical Care Unit right now but you won't need that soon. You'll have your own room which will be much more comfortable and then we'll all be able to come and visit. It's been hard because only one person could be here at a time and of course your Dad wanted to be the one to stay with you. And he should be. I was here when he needed a break but for the most part I've had to wait in the waiting room."
Shawn found Gus' words so fast and confusing that he was having a hard time following them. He felt so foggy and disoriented – but aware enough to know it must be the drugs he was on. "Waiting room?" For some reason he caught on to that.
"Yeah – not very comfortable I'm afraid. Lassiter and Juliet were here for a long time and even Chief Vick stayed for quite a while but they couldn't get in to see you. They'll be back of course. Juliet made me promise to call you as soon as you were awake. I can't call here because they don't allow cell phones, but as soon as your Dad is back I'll let her know."
Shawn was feeling exhausted and shaky. He didn't know what was happening or what Gus was talking about. Why were they waiting? Why was Gus here? And Juliet – she didn't want to see him – did she? He closed his eyes, again feeling like he wanted to cry. He just didn't understand what was happening.
"And others came by too", Gus continued to talk, not realizing what effect his words were having. "Buzz came by as soon as he could – he stayed at the scene for a long time to make sure the forensics guys got everything. And a bunch of other officers popped by too. They all said to say hi and that they were pulling for you. You have a lot of friends you know Shawn."
No – no he didn't. It wasn't good to be his friend. He was bad for people. He was selfish and immature and useless. He whimpered slightly, feeling the pain return. Go away Gus – please?
Gus could see that Shawn was tiring so he stopped talking. He was just so glad to see his friend alive and improving. He smiled happily. Soon things would be back to normal.
Shawn slept most of the day, only returning to awareness for brief moments at a time. The next time he'd woken up his father had been back and he'd sighed in relief. He felt guilty about his father too, but he could somehow handle it better than with Gus. He didn't say much, only answering questions about whether or not he was in pain.
It was the next morning when they came in and told him he was being moved to his own room. He wanted to tell them no – he didn't want that. He knew they'd think him strange for wanting to stay in the CCU. At least here he was protected – protected from all those well-meaning people who would come in and see him. He didn't want that – he didn't want to see them. He didn't deserve it.
The move – even though he did nothing – exhausted him. As soon as he arrived in his new room he'd fallen asleep, his body, and mind, needing the rest. When he awoke the next time it was to the sound of murmured voices.
"I told him we had other, more immediate concerns with Shawn's kidnapping and then the hunt for William Farris, but he told me my priority had to be the Scheffer case."
"What?" His father's voice sounded angry. "Karen – that's crazy. We have a deranged psychopath on the loose and he says that's less important than finding the killer of a rich old lady?"
"Henry!"
"Okay, okay – of course it's important that you find out who killed her – but really, it's not more important than catching Farris."
"I know. I'll just have to focus on both cases. I just wish Shawn was able to help."
"No!" Henry said sharply. "He doesn't need this Karen – not now, probably not ever. He's sick and he's recuperating. The last thing he needs to worry about is some cold case or, even more, the man who kidnapped and tortured him."
"I didn't say I was going to ask him Henry – relax. I'm just saying that if there's anyone I could trust to figure out either case it would be your son. He's not the most conventional person I've ever met and frankly he sometimes makes me want to scream – but he gets the job done."
"I know", Henry sighed. "He's – pretty amazing."
"You're proud of him?" Karen sounded as if she was smiling.
"Yeah. Don't tell him that though. I wouldn't want to spoil my reputation."
"Your reputation?"
"Yeah – as the crotchety old man who doesn't appreciate his son."
She laughed. "Alright, your secret's safe with me, although I think Shawn might like to hear what you just said. You know your opinion means a lot to him."
Henry made a rude noise. "Are you kidding? He hasn't cared about my opinion for a long time. Shawn does what he wants, regardless of what his old man thinks."
"Oh Henry – I thought you knew him better than that! Your opinion means everything to him."
Shawn was having a hard time following the conversation – his synapses still seemed to be misfiring and sounds kept fading in and out. He thought he had heard something about his father being proud of him, but knew that couldn't be right. No, he must have been talking about someone else.
And what was that about the Scheffer case? He tried to think. It was there – something – right on the tip of his brain. He knew about that case, didn't he? He tried to think but grew frustrated as whatever it was stayed just beyond his grasp.
No, no, he had to tell someone. He had to let them know. Yes, it was something about the Scheffer case. But what. He again tried to concentrate, frustrated at the fact that his mind just wasn't working like it normally did. He allowed himself to fade back into the warm fuzzy space where he didn't have to think or feel.
"I'd better be going", Karen stood up, followed slowly by a very tired looking Henry. "You need to go and get some sleep Henry. You're exhausted."
"I know and I may try and sleep at home tonight. Now that Shawn's out of danger I can get some rest."
Karen looked over at the sleeping psychic. "I'm so glad he's going to be okay."
"Yeah, me too." Henry regarded his son for a moment, too full of emotion to speak. Once he had himself back under control he walked over to Karen and held out his arms. When she smiled he gave her a hug. "Thank you", he said softly, convening his appreciation for her support.
"You're welcome Henry. Now take care of yourself. I'll be back and I'm sure a lot of my people will want to drop by. They've started a pool at the office to buy Shawn a bunch of things to keep him occupied while he's in hospital."
"That's good", Henry laughed, "otherwise the nurses might just kill him."
Karen walked slowly to the door, her mind already returning to all she had to look after at work. The Mayor – major pain in the ass that he was – was riding her hard to get her to find the murder of his friend's sister. She sighed and reached for the door.
"Bill", Shawn said distinctly. Both Henry and Karen stopped abruptly and looked at him. "It – was – Bill", he said, his eyes closed.
His father turned and approached the bed. "What are you saying Shawn? You're safe you know. Bill isn't here."
"No", Shawn opened his eyes and shook his head. He then looked directly at his father, wishing he didn't feel so tired and weak. "Bill – Farris – killed – Scheffer woman."
Karen frowned, her nose turning up slightly. She then glanced at Henry, to see him looking worriedly at his son. Poor Shawn – he was probably all mixed up. She shook her head slightly and prepared to leave.
"Chief", Shawn gasped out, looking over at her. "Bill – Farris – killed woman. Told – me."
"He told you he'd killed the woman?"
Shawn nodded. "Figured – it out – he said yes. Was – test."
"It was a test? Shawn", his father snapped, "what the hell are you talking about?"
For some odd reason his father's anger made him relax like nothing else had done. It was what he expected. It was normal." "Test – for me", he ground out. God, why was it so difficult to talk. He took a breath. "Test – to see – if – I'm – psychic. Wanted me – to figure – out Scheffer – case."
Henry frowned and stared down at his son. "What? You're telling me that he killed the Scheffer woman – what the hell was her name?"
"Madeleine Tumi", Karen interjected.
"Yeah – so Bill killed the Tumi woman to try and prove you were – or were not – psychic?" He stared down at his son.
Shawn nodded. "Yeah – cept I wasn't – on – case. Didn't know – till after."
"And Farris didn't know her? There wasn't another reason he killed her?" Karen had stepped close to the bed and was watching him equally as closely."
"Don't – think so. My fault", he turned his head, his eyes again beginning to tear up. He hated being so emotional.
"No, it's not your fault", Karen said plainly, her mind still thinking about what Shawn had said. "But – but you may have something here. We haven't been able to find any motive for the killing. She was a quiet woman with few friends and – as far as we could discern – no enemies. She didn't have any money – that was the sister and brother-in-law – and they supported her. There was no reason for the sister to do it. They were devoted to one another. No – there didn't seem to be a motive for this killing, which really threw us off. But if what you are saying is true, her killing must have been random – used only to try and draw you out."
Shawn nodded and closed his eyes. "See", he slurred, "My fault."
"Oh for heavens' sake, get over yourself Shawn", his loving father proclaimed. "It was not your fault. It's the fault of this pervert." He looked again at Karen, who was looking intently at Shawn. "Don't tell me you believe this?" he asked her.
"It fits Henry", she said. "There was no motive, no opportunity – nothing, to explain why she was killed. If it were random then it actually makes more sense."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Well – if the Scheffer case is a priority I'll have to follow all leads – and the best lead now seems to be William Farris. I think I am going to be able to kill two birds with one stone Henry."
"Good" Henry nodded, satisfied that the hunt would get even more intense to find the man who had done this to his son. Frankly, he couldn't care less about the Scheffers – not that he wanted them to suffer and he felt bad for the woman who had died – but right now all his focus was on Shawn.
"Thank you Shawn."
He opened his eyes to see Chief Vick looking down at him. She gently patted his arm and smiled. "We need you back soon, okay?"
He nodded but didn't speak. He couldn't tell her that he wouldn't be back. He knew it was time he grew up. He had to let go of being a psychic – a fake psychic.
"Good job son." He father sat beside him and smiled. He gave a small, crooked smile which left his face almost as soon as it appeared. "You sleep now. I expect you're going to get even more visitors so you'd better get rested up."
He stared at his father, wanting to beg him to keep people away, but he knew that would mean too many questions and too much prodding. He simply nodded and closed his eyes. Maybe he could keep pretending to sleep.
Henry watched as Shawn's eyes closed and his breathing deepened. He felt his heart almost burst with relief and happiness and yes – with pride. His son was a helluva man. Henry sighed and leaned back, for the first time feeling like he too could rest.