Autum looked at the others who were cleaning in the living room. She slowly walked down the hall tapping her fingers against the wall. Was she really going to be able to make this a safe space? She wanted to believe Link's words.
Pausing next to the door. She tried to prepare herself as she walked into the room. Her eyes trailed through the room as she slowly walked up to the crib. She picked up a stuffed animal out of it. It was a little bunny. She held it up looking at it. She remembered going shopping for it, Celtic had picked it out. She looked to the others and smiled weakly, he had picked them all out. He was so excited and doing the best he could for what they'd got themselves into.
Growing up she didn't have toys or anything like it. It wasn't in her culture, but the other race that lived there did have such things. Celtic liked the idea of them so they bought them. And he bought plenty, already spoiling their little bundle before it even had arrived.
She ran her hand across the railing of the crib. This was going to be where their child was going to sleep, she thought, imagining her baby there in the crib sleeping peacefully. Her heart wretched up as she looked away. Not only had she lost this baby but she couldn't have another child as her insides were torn up too bad. She cringed as she thought that those damn birds weren't taking any chances.
She hugged the small stuffed animal as she tried to imagine what it would have felt like holding her child. She wished hugging this stuffed animal would just take away the devastating pain. She had never felt such a debilitating pain.
"Autum." Autum hearing her name looked to the door where Navi was. She didn't know what to say to her friend. She set the stuffed animal back into the crib avoiding eye contact with Navi. She rubbed her arm as a physical pain was shooting through her arm in memory of what happened that day. This phantom pain she had suffered such ever since it happened.
All Eznik checkups he never said anything and she couldn't bring it up. She just couldn't have Eznik tell her all of the pain that she was experiencing was in her head. Losing her memories had been a painful part of this experience as well.
"If you want I can leave." Navi spoke up as she stood at the door. She watched Autum walk to the window.
Autum was trying to figure out something to say. What could she say? Nothing would change the past. Nothing would erase what had happened and return her child to her. She wanted that so badly. She leaned her head against the window pane wanting the pain to go away. She wanted all of the emotional and physical pain of that day to go away..
Navi walked up to Autum. She held out her hand debating if she wanted to try to comfort Autum or not. She wasn't sure of the right move as she put her hand on Autum's shoulder. "You don't have to keep forcing yourself to relive what happened here Autum." Navi said. "We can leave."
Autum looked out the window as she listened to Navi. Part of her pleaded to leave this painful past behind as another part of her wanted to stand and make this her fortress. She didn't want to feel like she was failing again.
"Navi." Autum spoke softly letting her know she had heard her. She was trying to pull up more words for her, but in truth she had none. She rested her arm over her head as she looked out the window to the overgrowth outside the window.
She peered down at the pond that Celtic and she had dug. It had Siamese Moz gilled fish in it as they had picked such as they were very had planted all kinds of flowers around the pond so their daughter would have a cheerful view out her window.
They had put such love into it. It was one of the few times they didn't end up arguing with each other. They were totally on the same page. But now it had been taken over by nature and the flowers fought for their life against the weeds and vines that had taken over the area.
Navi watched Autum in her silence as she continued to look out the window. She could hear in Autum's voice that she was hurting. She wanted to pick the right words for her. "Tell me what happened that day, Autum. You have it all bottled up so tight. You need to tell someone, someone who isn't Celtic and your brother. Someone who hasn't been part of it to make sure your pain is truly heard. If not to me, then Link. You can't keep holding it in, allowing it to consume you from the inside out. And there's no way you will be able to make this home if you keep it all inside letting it eat you away."
Autum nervously glanced at Navi out of the corner of her eye. She drummed her fingers against the glass, trying to calm her mind. She slid down to the ground. She leaned against the wall looking at the crib as she listened to the birds chirping so happily outside the window. She closed her eyes, as she thought that maybe Navi was right. She couldn't hold it in any longer as it was destroying her.
"It was about a month before she was due..." Autum meekly spoke as she looked up at Navi, trying to pull together what happened into words. "Celtic had a gift for me." She smiled. She looked at her hands as if she could see it in them. "He said he had wrapped it himself. So you can only imagine what type of mess that would have been." she chuckled awkwardly at the thought.
"Yeah, I can imagine." Navi lightly giggled as she sat down next to her. She watched Autum stare at the ground trying to gather the words to continue her story. She bit her lip knowing that she needed to let Autum do this at her own pace. She wanted to say that she was sure that she saw the gift in the master bedroom but then rethought that.
Autum glanced at Navi as she settled down next to her. "As he went to our bedroom to get it I stood looking out the window. To my utter surprise I saw black feathers falling from the sky. Never saw anything like it before. I had no idea what was happening. Me, being courious and stupid, I went out to see what was up."
She rubbed her arm as the pain in her spiked. She often would wake up from the phantom pain where one of those creatures had torn into her arm. "Large birds… they were nine or so feet tall. There were ten or so, some circling in the air above while others perched on our roof. I-I… I tried to run back in." She depicted as she gritted her teeth as she started to fill with fear.
"One of those fucks landed in front of the door keeping me from getting inside!" Autum screeched. The painful memory felt so real. She closed her eyes as she held her head; she was fighting everything. She felt like she could see that horrible bird in front of her again.
Out of all that she had been through, being captured in war, tortured, the events with Link, all of the killing she had done she had never lost hope but instead was able to pick herself up. But this memory she was fighting was the one that haunted her most. She never felt so useless. The fact that she wasn't able to protect her child, that she wasn't able to protect her family tore at her. Everything else she felt like she could fight it and keep moving on, but this it seemed impossible to move on from. This was complete defeat, she had lost everything within moments.
Link had paused outside of the room. He had heard Autum's screech so he went looking to see what was going on. He heard Autum telling the story of that tragic day. His ears hung low as he was listening to what she was saying. He could hear the sharp explicit pain in Autum's voice. He wanted to run in and say something, but he knew in truth there was nothing he could say to wash away the pain. How he wished a word or a hug held such power as to vanquish such pain and misery.
He stood just outside the door as if to guard her from any more pain entering her life. His attention went to Celtic as he walked up. They both could hear Autum in the room whimpering over those horrid birds that had entrapped her outside her house.
Celtic looked at Link debating on what to say. He decided instead to just sit down in the hall next to Link. He patted the floor next to him. Link watched him do so and slowly and carefully slid down the wall to sit next to Celtic.
They thought it was better that they stayed out there. It seemed Autum was ready to open up some, it was better not to interrupt her, they felt.
"Just listen…" Celtic whispered softly as he closed his eyes. He leaned his head against the wall. He knew that he had had years to drown out everything that happened with the gods. What more he had the years to deal with it, but for Autum, it only felt like a couple months ago all of this had happened since her memories had been sealed. Now with all the emotions unsealed she had yet to deal with such. She hadn't had a chance to mend because she was still dealing with memory.
"I-I couldn't do anything. They were too strong. I was nothing compared to them. My punches and kicks had no affect on them whatsoever. I was like one of those stuffed animals trying to fight them." she conveyed as she pointed over to the crib. "Next thing I know I was on the ground and one of them was ripping into my back. I never felt such pain. Each claw was like a finely sharpened sword digging into me over and over. Still, I did everything, everything in my power to protect our child. I fought on. I refused to be defeated, refused to let them take my baby." Autum stated hysterically as she slammed her hands onto the ground. Looking at her hands she wished she could have done more.
"They toyed with me like I was their food, dropping me from the sky as they all took their turns ripping into my body." her hands shook as she remembered such as if it was happening again.
"I remember seeing Celtic… He was trying so hard to get to us. There were just too many." Autum now spoke quietly as she hugged her legs. She was full of so much emotion. She felt vulnerable and she hated it. "T-they." her voice cracked as tears flooded down her face."They ripped her out of me, my baby. Mine and Celtic's baby and left me for dead."
"It's...J-just.. I was pregnant… I couldn't do much. I couldn't risk her life summoning my blade… in the end she lost her life because I couldn't fight them. I was too busy trying to make sure I..I didn't kill her, but in the end I still did. I let her down. I didn't protect her! " Autum cried as she buried her face between her knees,
She was defeated by the past: shattered. It was consuming her and she just couldn't pull herself up. Even if it was years ago, it felt like it was just a couple days ago it all had happened.
Navi looked at the ground trying to figure out words she could say to her friend. What could she say? She knew the pain of losing someone you loved. But it was a long time ago for herself, she had dealt with it. Looking to Autum, the big difference between herself and Autum is she wasn't going to be alone.
Navi went to her knees. "Autum…" Autum didn't move. "Autum." She repeated as she put her hand on Autum's arm. She could feel Autum shake from her touch. "That was horrible. It was horrible you had to go through that. Absolutely horrible what happened to your baby. But I promise you it was not your fault. It was those sinister birds. No-one should have to go through something like that and I am sorry you did. So very sorry. But you're not alone in this." She smiled at her.
Autum slowly lifted her head to look at her. "You have a husband who loves you. He would do anything in the world for you. You have a brother who clearly cares alot for you. Then you have Link and me. We are your friends and we are here for you. You don't have to face this alone Autum." Navi explained to her hoping to give her something to hold onto.
"We all fall. Some things take us down harder and longer. I know this is hard but you have a support system you can use to help you get up. Let us help you where we can. When you feel yourself falling, you can talk to any of us. We will be there for you. Even if it's just going out sparring with Link or learning to kick Celtic's butt in a vid game, or just ranting to me about how much of an idiot your husband is. You don't have to tell us that you're falling, just let us help you get your mind off of it. Then when you are ready to talk we will be there to listen. And when you need to cry we will be there to support you." Navi smiled at her hoping to help her.
Autum chuckled lightly at Navi's speech. She rested her head on her knees looking at Navi. She was grateful for what little friends she had. She could make it through this with them. She would be able to make this home again with their help.
Link watched Celtic get to his feet. He didn't know what to say. Slowly he got to his feet as he watched Celtic head down to the master bedroom. He wasn't sure if he should go where Autum was or follow after Celtic.
Deciding to go after Celtic, he paused as he watched Celtic walk back out. He was holding a small present in his hand. He smiled at Link and nodded for him to follow him as he walked into the nursery.
Autum looked at Celtic and Link as they entered the room. She looked at the ground. She was sure she looked like a mess. She wiped her face to remove any tears from it. She glanced at Celtic's shoes as they stopped in front of her.. She looked up as he bent down.
"I never got to give you this." Celtic relayed as he held the poorly wrapped gift to her. It was wrapped badly and some of the tape clearly hadn't held well over the years. He watched her take it as he sat down across from her. He looked to Link who sat down next to Navi.
Autum glanced at the two of them. She was sure they heard her talking about her misery. She looked to the small present and sighed. She was trying to calm down. She remembered that years ago she had his gift. When she woke up on Eznik's ship there was a small box with a note on it. "I thought you left it with my brother… It was a small black box with seeds in it and a poorly written note." she chuckled lightly.
Celtic smiled. "I knew they would go bad if I left them here. Also it was less personal than this. I wanted to do this face to face." He explained to her as she eyed the small package trying to figure out what it could be.
"So you had two gifts?" Autum questioned him. Celtic chuckled as he leaned back on his arms. "Open it, so you can tell me what an idiot I am. I knew you would like the seeds, versus this one. As far as this one I have not clue. Was told to have a back up plan if this failed instead I am just crossing my fingers."
"So.. your janitor friend, helped, huh?" Autum eyed him and he nodded. She smirked and glanced at Navi, who clearly was excited to see what she had. She smiled knowing Navi was like a child when it came to gifts. She always got so excited whether it was for her or not.
Autum started to tear off the paper and looked at the small brown case that was in it. She slowly opened it. Two pendants were inside with chains on them. They were silver colored rectangles that had inscriptions on them.
"You said you didn't want to do normal traditional things to show that we were married. So.. those are made with a special metal, so they will survive about anything. Kinda like what you wore in the military, the genku tags. I thought we both could wear one." Celtic spoke up as he watched her reaction, not sure how she was going to respond to such.
She pulled out one and looked at it. Flipping it over seeing what was written on the back. Autum chuckled as she read what was on it.
"What do they say?" Navi asked curiously as she looked at Autum and then to Celtic. Still she didn't think of Autum to be one who would wear jewelry of any sort. Autum held the one she was holding to her. Navi took it looking at the writing on it. She didn't recognize it at all. She flipped it over seeing that there was more on the back of it.
"That one is my native language. Says 'My soul' and on the back it has my name." Autum said as she pulled out the other looking at it. She flipped it over and looked to Celtic."What does this one say, I don't recognize the language?"
Celtic smiled at her, she acted like she might actually like it. He glanced at Link and Navi who were looking at the one Autum handed to Navi and it seemed they liked it as well. He then answered Autum. "It says My heart and on the back is my name." Celic explained. "It's in the old ancient language of the gods." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Does that mean you like it?"
Autum put on the necklace she was holding. Looking to Navi who was holding the other to her. Taking it, she moved to Celtic putting the one with her name on it around his neck. She then hugged him. "It's sweet." She spoke quietly to him.
Navi smiled seeing that this gift had taken the bad moments off of Autum's mind. She looked to Link who was watching them. She wanted to ask him how much he had heard of the story but decided to ask later.
Autum sat back and looked at the three of them. She rubbed her arm a little trying to think of what to say to them. Part of her felt like she should tell them about the pain that she was experiencing since she already put everything else on the table.
But part of her feared it was some psychological reason that would embarrass her. Still she went for it. "I've been in pain… from where I was attacked.." she spoke quietly, part of her hoping they didn't hear her.
Link looked at Autum remembering what she described that had happened. He was surprised that she still was feeling the pain from it. His heart sunk. "What didn't you say anything?" Link asked her. "I mean Eznik could had helped with it."
Navi looked at Link and then to Autum. But from what she remembered, Eznik said her tests were fine. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Her ears went low, why didn't Eznik see it?
Autum looked at Link and then to the ground. He hadn't been there for any of her scans. She had a clean bill of health. "I couldn't… I..." She just couldn't deal with looking like a fool. The idea that this all was in her head. She wished she had kept quiet. She looked to Celtic who took her hand.
"Autum." Celtic spoke up looking at her. "You should have told me." His face was full of concern. "I thought you would say something if you were in pain." He shook his head, as he realized he was an idiot. He should have guessed she wouldn't have said something. He was trying to figure out how to explain it to her.
"The Furies, when they attack the wounds they inflict well, that pain can be felt for years after. Even after the wounds have healed, scarred or not. It's a kind of curse that they put on people. None of it would show up on medical scans. No test would verify such." Celtic stated as he looked at her as she closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands
Autum shook her head; all of the worry and concern was over nothing. Here she had feared she was going to be told it was all in her head. If only she had said something she might be free of the physical pain.
Autum winced as Celtic pulled her close and held her. "I should have said something to you. I guess this is the result of when you put someone stupid and someone stubborn together." Celtic remarked as he held her.
Autum leaned against him. Did that mean she was going to have to live with this pain? Her eyes trailed to Link and Navi. She did realize how grateful she was that they were there. What more she did feel some relief from telling Navi what happened that day. There was a little less on her shoulders.
"Do you know how to remove this curse? You were attacked as well right?" Link asked as he looked at Celtic hoping he might have a solution. That or it meant all this time Celtic had been dealing with that pain on top of everything else.
Celtic chuckled. "It's not a graceful solution." Celtic grabbed his left pants leg pulling it up some. He had a seal that covered part of his lowercalf. "It's a small seal, so if you want Autum." Celtic looked at her. "I can put one of these on you as well and you won't have the pain any more."
Autum starred at the seals in his leg. Part of it was a reminder of what he had done to her. She couldn't lie, she still was angry at him for what he had done. She lost years with him because of it. "Is there any other way?" Autum asked quietly, as she was hesitant about being sealed.
Celtic shook his head. "Not that I know of, but you know me. I did the only thing I could think of." He looked at her as she moved off of him. It was clear she was iffy about it. She slowly moved her hand across his seal on his leg.
"If you had issues trying to find how to unlock your memories you might have as many issues finding an answer to this." Navi spoke up. She didn't want Autum to keep suffering from the pain.
Autum looked to Navi knowing she was right. It had taken years to find any answers. It took some wandering fighter to give them to her. It was as if the fates decided it was time for her to know. So perhaps now it was the fates saying let the pain go. She looked back at Celtic. "You seal anything else, you're going to be missing parts that you wished you weren't." she threatened.
Celtic chuckled as he moved in and knelt next to her leg. "Same spot as mine?" He eyed her and she nodded. Celtic glanced at the other two and then closed his eyes chanting as he put his hand on Autum's calf.
Autum looked at her leg when he was done. She let out a sigh as she looked the seal over. She then looked at Navi and Link. "Sorry…" She felt foolish for never saying anything. She could have been fine for the last couple of months, if she had. Instead she was too scared of the what if.
"No reason for you to say sorry. You are just being you." She smiled. "Even if you are too stubborn for your own good. Maybe now you will learn that it's ok to lean on someone for help."
Link nodded in agreement with Navi. "Next time tell one of us. No more trying to be a one man army ok." Link smiled at Autum.
Autum nodded as she looked at her leg. She did at least feel like a weight was lifted off her shoulder. What more she didn't have the pain aching through her body.
"What do you want to do with this room?" Celtic asked. He was a little afraid of what her answer would be. He looked at her but it was clear she didn't have a clue. "We can take down the crib and clean up the room. We can paint the walls." He suggested.
Autum looked at him and then to the walls where they had painted. She didn't know what she wanted. Part of her wanted to linger in this past of what she could have had. She felt like she was deserting her child if she moved looked to Navi who got to her feet and held out her hand.
"Come on, to your feet." Navi coached. "You deserve a fresh start. We are going to help you do it" She took Autum's hand pulling her to her feet. She smiled at her. "We are here for you. Together, we will make this place safe and happy for you Autum."
Autum pulled Navi in and hugged her. It seemed the faerie had been saying words she needed to hear. She was happy these two were going to stick around. Navi had become a close friend over the last few months as they waited for Link to wake up. She looked at Link and smiled. He had to be right that they would be able to make this her fortress.