Chapter 12

The morning sunlight filtered through the window, illuminating the shimmering dust motes above the bed. Darwin was sound asleep on his stomach, sheets pulled down to his waist, messy dark gold hair spread across the pillow. Red woke up slowly and rolled over, looking at him for a few minutes. She'd actually fallen asleep beside a man. A strange man. A wild-looking man with the blood of countless people on his hands. And she wasn't afraid. Quite the opposite, in fact. Very gently, trying to avoid waking him, Red drew back the covers and slid out of bed. Her feet in their borrowed socks touched the carpet and she got up, folding the blanket back over Darwin's bare shoulders. Then she tiptoed to the door, eased it open, and moved into the hallway.

There were sounds coming from the kitchen. The gurgle of a coffee machine, the clink of pans, the tinny sound of a cheap radio playing country music.

Tentatively, Red made her way past Jeeves's door, past Lester and Tsugi's room, past the guest room, until she came at last to the sun-drenched kitchen where a single figure stood whisking eggs at the stove.
It was Lester. He glanced at her, lowering his bald head to meet her eyes over the tops of his spectacles. An inexplicable feeling of comfort washed over her. As naturally as though she had been waking up in this house all her life, Red moved behind him and put her arms around his thick torso for a moment, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Good morning." She said softly. Lester grunted a greeting.

"You hungry? Grab a cup o' coffee, breakfast'll be up in about ten minutes."

Red eagerly reached for a dark blue ceramic mug on the counter next to the coffee pot. She poured a generous measure of the thick syrupy fluid and added four heaping tablespoons of sugar without even tasting it. The scent alone told her that this was the t-rex of caffeinated beverages.

"Is Tsugi up yet?"

Lester nodded, gesturing with a spatula toward the window.

"Feedin' the chickens an' the pigs, tossin' some hay down fer the horses an' Jeeves's milk heifer, Chip. She'll be in soon as she's done with the chores."

"You have a whole farm here!" Red exclaimed, delighted and impressed. Lester shrugged, seasoning the eggs.

"Got a vegetable garden out back an' a moonshine still up in the woods. Private water source, twelve solar panels, two 19th century windmills, and a hell of a lot o' land that extends 15 miles up the coast an' twelve down it, all the way inta the forest preserve about seven, eight miles inland." Lester gestured vaguely out the window with his spatula. There was pride in his voice. "We been collectin' land rights fer four generations. Completely off the grid except for payin' land tax. An' o'course we gotta pay taxes for the farm an' whatnot. We grow us a good crop o' vegetables every year, sell it in town. Also got an orchard. Tsugi makes real good apple butter. Rich folk love it, it's got country charm. Heh. We don't need the money, but we gotta make it look good."

Red was impressed by their self-sufficiency. It showed evidence of careful planning. This was clearly a family that knew how to look after itself. She took a sip of coffee and settled back in her chair, watching Lester move about the kitchen. It was hard to pinpoint exactly how she was feeling now. Killers. She was in a nest of killers, self-admitted.
And one of them was making toast.

"Do you…I mean…okay, how long have you been a heartless murderer for hire? Professionally speaking, that is." Red stirred another sugar into her coffee. Christ Almighty, it was severe stuff. Lester glanced up from buttering a slice, blinking at her over his glasses.

"Kinda bristle at the word 'heartless', darlin'. It ain't wise ta make me bristle this early in the mornin'." He added the slice to a growing stack beside him. "Hell, I guess I been in this business close ta 20 years. Killed my first fella at the age o' 14, under Daddy's guidin' hand. Can't say I much enjoy it. Darwin's been doin' this about 5 years longer'n me. Jeevesie's been at it maybe 16 years at the most. We do what we gotta. I take care o' the family as best I can, but when the situation calls for it…like it did a couple weeks ago when you an' me met…I sure as hell know how ta get shit done. Ain't no such thing as a useless Tremor."

"What's it like? Killing, I mean." For some reason, Red was fascinated by the macabre thought of taking a life. There was silence in the kitchen for a little while, broken only by the dry rasp of a knife scraping butter onto bread.

"It's a sense o' power. You become god, in a way. Holdin' the life of another in yer hands an' makin' the decision whether ta let that life slip away or not." He paused, his eyes taking on a faraway look. "It ain't like it is in the movies. You know, with all the dramatic music playin' and a real clear-cut definition of who's the good guy an' who's the bad guy. Life don't color inside the lines all neat like that. It's complicated an' messy and fer some folks, it's brutal an' has a pretty goddamn unpleasant endin'."

The door to the outside opened, and Tsugi came in looking pink-cheeked and healthy and stunningly beautiful. She set a basket of freshly gathered eggs on the counter and leaned in close to her lover to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Dammit, woman! Yer lips are freezin'!" Lester chuckled, and turned to gather her into his thick arms for a hug. He gestured to the eggs.

"That all we got? Goddammit, we're gonna have ta increase the calcium intake on them pullets, get 'em layin' a little more. Jeevesie's got a hell of an appetite an' this ain't gonna tide him over real well. Make a note on my Honey Do list, baby. Thanks."

He leaned down and opened the oven door, pulling out a large pan of fat sausages still sizzling in their juices. He carried it to the table and set it down in the center on a pretty woven doily, his glasses fogged over from the steam. "Prepare fer the arrival of a real big, hungry bear any second now. Heh."

As if by magic, Jeeves lumbered down the hall and into the kitchen with Bandit in his arms. They both looked relaxed, happy and sleepy.

"Mornin'!" Jeeves beamed, and took a seat at the table. He gently set the cat on the floor. Red smiled at him, and he grinned back with the sweet early morning glow of a child.

"Hi Red. Did yew have a nice sleep?"

"I did. I don't think I've slept that soundly in a very long time. How about you and Bandit?"

"He was purrin' in his sleep." Jeeves said, looking fondly at the cat. Lester bent down and filled a bowl with food, then another with fresh well water. Bandit sauntered over to investigate.

"He must have been very happy then. Thank you for being so good to him." Red leaned across the table and lightly patted the back of his hand. Lester came over just then with the pan of scrambled eggs and tipped a large portion onto his brother's plate, along with some toast and fresh fruit, a few slabs of cheese, potatoes and two pastries. No meat, of course. Jeeves's vegetarianism was an amusing quirk considering his line of work, but Red found it sweet.

Lester set another, smaller plate before Red, and she looked up at him with humble gratitude in her eyes. She had nothing to offer these people, nothing except headaches and annoyance. But here they were, feeding her and giving her warmth and shelter, taking care of her beloved cat and providing her with protection and medical care.

"Thank you, Lester."

"Hell, it ain't a problem. Eat up, yer gonna need yer strength today. We'll be takin' a look at that cottage o' yers in a couple hours ta see what needs ta be done to it. We got winter roarin' down on us at a high rate o' speed an' that little shack you got swindled inta buyin' ain't exactly weather-tight. Bottom line is, we got a ton o' work ta do. But we'll move at yer pace, seein' as how you got that busted leg."

"I'll pay you as soon as I can. And I'll pay back the money you gave me, too. I don't ever want to be a burden."

"Shit, ya already are. But I don't mind none."

Tsugi gracefully took a seat beside Jeeves and reached over to tuck the big man's napkin into the front of his pajamas. Red couldn't help but eye her with a little envy. She looked fresh and keenly stylish in faded denim work jeans, furred boots and a form-fitting cream fisherman's sweater. Her thick dark hair hung to the middle of her back in a shining braid. A little self-consciously, Red patted down her own messy curls. How Tsugi stayed so lovely and fashion-model perfect this far out in the middle of nowhere, living in a house with three men, was something of a mystery.

Tsugi moved to stand behind Jeeves, rubbing the big man's shoulders.

"Chip isn't quite ready to be milked, her bag's only half full. There were wolf tracks near the horse enclosure. It doesn't look like they tried to get in though. And I did check on the ladies, all your chickens are accounted for and seem quite content." She leaned down and kissed Jeeves's temple. "Good morning, honey. Did you sleep ok? No bad dreams?"

Jeeves rumbled happily, his mouth full of toast and cheese, nodding. Tsugi came to Red next, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead in a maternal gesture.

Her lips were cool against Red's skin, her perfume a sweet whisper of cherry blossoms.

Darwin prowled into the kitchen then, wearing a pair of jeans that looked as though they'd seen better days. He was bare chested. That would take some getting used to, the casual half-nudity that the gentlemen embraced here. Tsugi obediently went to him.

"Good morning, Darwin." She said, and kissed his cheek. Red felt a twinge in her chest and wondered at it. Uncertainly, she got to her feet as well and approached him. She stood before him in the cozy kitchen and awkwardly shifted from foot to foot, watching him embrace Tsugi with one arm. He kissed her sleek head, blue eyes locked with Red's green ones, and when Tsugi stepped aside to help Lester prepare the rest of the plates they were left facing one another.

Red felt fat and messy and greasy and ugly after seeing Tsugi. Her eyes dropped to stare at the floor, and she self-consciously backed up a few inches.

"Good morning, sir. I….there's, um, fresh toast." She said lamely. There was silence. She could feel the others watching this little exchange, and her face burned. She wished she hadn't even gotten up. Her chair seemed a mile away, but she started to slink back to it anyway.

Darwin's hand on her shoulder made her pause. He didn't pull her against him and kiss her hair the way he had with Tsugi. Instead, he moved forward and took her entire shivering, chubby, sleepy, messy-haired, uncertain self into his arms and held her. She could feel his husky voice rising from his warm chest.

"Call me Darwin. Good mornin', Red. I'd sure love some of that toast."

"Claimed." Lester whispered. But Red didn't hear a thing. Only Darwin, breathing.

After breakfast, Lester bundled up, kissed his fiancé goodbye, and helped Red into one of his own lambskin jackets.

"You kin leave the cat here, Jeeves'll look after him real well while you an' me see ta yer place." He tucked his work gloves into his back pocket and nodded toward the door. Red tugged her borrowed belt tighter and zipped up the jacket. Together, they headed out.

Lester waited until they were out of sight of the house, and then he stopped.

"Time ta talk."

Red had been a few paces ahead of him, but the tone in his voice made her stop. She turned around.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Lester shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck in a gesture that Red was coming to understand as a sign of agitation. He fixed her with his pale blue eyes.

"How're you likin' it here, Red?"

"I like it fine. You all have been kind to me and to my cat. I feel pretty safe here, just wish my sister were with me too."

"We'll get ta that. We got ways 'o findin' people. I'm askin' about you now. Ya only just met Darwin an' Jeeves. You got an honest opinion about 'em? Talk plain. What you say ta me right now is private an' it's gonna stay private."

They were by themselves here in the woods. The birds sat in the trees high above them and chirped spiritedly to one another. There was a fresh, exhilarating scent of pine needles and ocean air. A breeze lifted her curls and brought a pink flush to her cheeks.

Red looked Lester over, and it occurred to her that she really did trust this man. It had been a long time since she'd trusted anyone. But now she suddenly found herself not only trusting Lester, but Tsugi and Darwin and Jeeves as well.

"I'm a little nervous about some of the rules and about all the secrecy. And about something that Tsugi said, about what she had to 'go through to stay here'. It felt like she meant way more than just having to deal with your line of work and all that. But on the whole, yes. I like Jeeves a great deal, he reminds me of my little sister and he seems sweet and childlike for now. I love how much he's fallen for Bandit. And I really love the way you all treat him and dote on him. Darwin makes me nervous but I think that will fade in time. He's forceful and stern, not in the same way you are. You bark a lot but in the few weeks we've known one another you've never bitten, as the saying goes. And Tsugi is about the best friend I've ever had. She saved my life, in more ways than one. I'd like to stay. I hope I didn't screw things up last night. I did something a little foolish, I think."

Lester nodded, but didn't prod her on the details of her midnight foray. He leaned back against the tree and took his work gloves out of his back pocket, pulling them on and covering his tattooed hands.

"Do ya trust me?"

Red looked him right in the eye.

"Yes. Completely." She replied quietly.

"I think Dar's got a little thing for ya. Hell, maybe a big thing. He could just be feelin' a little lonely. Just broke up with a longtime girlfriend by the name o' Tanya a couple months ago. Jeeves an' me didn't like her one bit, an' she was always real nasty ta Tsugi. I think she just liked bein' the girlfriend of a bad boy. But Darwin, he was real good to that woman right up until the evidence of her numerous affairs became more than even he could ignore. I don't know what's goin' on in his head or his heart right at the moment. But he seems ta be fond o' you. Do you like him?"

Old Spice. Bedroom eyes. The soft husky voice and the warmth of his body under the covers, the scratch of his stubble against her throat when he'd bent to kiss her in the dark. Red ducked her head slightly and studied the moss growing against the base of the tree behind Lester.

"Very much."

"Enough to embrace this lifestyle? Become part o' the family? Be there for each an' every one of us when we come back wounded an' bloody an' exhausted from a job? You gonna be alright with helpin' Jeeves take off forty pounds o' blood-soaked body armor. Knowin' that he just murdered a lotta people and you are now complicit in the eyes o' the law? Could ya keep yer trap shut if you ever got picked up an' questioned by the cops, no matter what lies or tactics they used to rattle ya? You think you got the ability to submit ta Darwin's rule, get along smooth as glass with Tsugi, conduct yerself in an honorable an' obedient manner with every member o' this family. We thrive on secrecy, as ya already noticed. It is imperative that we all get along. For a woman interested in a mighty serious long-term relationship with any o' the brothers, there's a hell of a livin' situation that's gotta be agreed to. Folks who make a significant amount o' trouble in this family end up buried deep under the green grass o' the back forty. I do not plan on repeatin' myself here. I'm offerin' you a chance ta walk away right now, Red, if you can't agree ta all o' this. I will personally bundle up you an' your cat, drive ya to the nearest bus depot, hand you a couple thousand bucks an' a ticket ta some tiny town in the middle o' nowhere and you kin start over. But if you wanna stay, you gotta be amenable to the environment here. I know this is all new to ya, but we ain't got the luxury of time with how fast Darwin is movin'. I saw how he treated you in the kitchen this mornin'. It's gonna have to be a snap decision, Red. Now what's it gonna be?"

There was a long silence, and Red clenched and unclenched her hands a few times. She took a deep breath and let it out in a little cloud of steam. Fear uncoiled its cold body in the pit of her stomach. She shifted from foot to foot.

"My sister?"

"She'll be found an' brought here too."

"Promise?"

"Hell yes. Gonna go after her myself, I'd imagine."

"Can I ask one more question before answering?"

"Best ta ask it now."

"Tsugi and her talk of what she had to go through. You and your comment about the living situation. The way she kisses and loves on Darwin and Jeeves and you don't bat an eye. There's something fishy going on here. You all seem to be extremely relaxed when it comes to closeness with one another, and I get the feeling that there's more going on than is any of my business. But if I'm going to be thrust into the middle of it, I'd like to know the truth. Please don't get mad at me or hit me for saying this, alright?" She eyed him warily.

"I ain't never raised my hand to a woman and I'm not gonna start now."

"Ok. Ok, it's only a question. You can tell me to screw off if I'm wrong. But is there a little something going on between Tsugi and Darwin too? Or between Tsugi and Jeeves? And is that…you know…sanctioned?"

Lester folded his arms and looked down at her, idly working his tongue over his teeth for a moment. He seemed to be considering whether to open the subject this far.

Finally he cleared his throat.

"Yes. Darwin and Jeeves are my fiance's lovers too. The Tremor brothers let nothin' come between their bond, relyin' as we do upon it to survive both in the field an' at home. We don't even let the love of a woman come between us. In that spirit, we've come to agree on somethin' called the Blood Oath. A woman who wants ta give her life an' heart to one of us has gotta accept all of us, or no deal. It ain't some kinda orgy. We're not animals or perverts. Tsugi don't play musical beds every week. But once in a while, if the mood's just right an' there's private time…yes. Now this situation don't occur often. I never had the desire to lay so much as a finger on Tanya, although she tried ta kiss me one night out back behind the barn. She was drunk an' horny an' lookin' for action even though Darwin was right up at the house by himself. That woman disgusts me on every level. I pushed her away an' told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever came near me again I would goddamn well spay her with a pair o' hedge clippers. My patience has a limit."

Despite the tenseness of the moment, Red snickered a little. Lester fought back a smile.

"Anyhow, that answer yer question?"

"Would…would I…" She looked at the moss again. Dead silence, and for the hundredth time Red wished she hadn't spoken. "Sorry. I just, I don't think I want to even think about being with anyone at all intimately for a while. Not even Darwin. Not anyone. Not that I'm even really his type. Or yours. Well I know I'm not yours. I probably disgust you more than Tanya."

More silence, but when she looked up Lester was watching her with a softened expression. Still stern and gruff, but softer than a moment before. His voice was gentle when he spoke.

"Don't bet on it, kiddo."

They began walking again, side by side through the crunching leaves, and Red continued delving for more information.

"So you're really ok with Tsugi being that close to your brothers? This is just mystifying to me."

"Yeah. She worships the ground I walk on, an' the feelin' is real mutual. See, about a year ago Tsugi dragged my ass out of a burnin' buildin'. She saved my life. I was all shot ta shit an' dyin'. Rescuin' a member of a rival group was kinda frowned upon, an' she was with an offshoot o' the Yakuza. They ain't exactly lightweights. She had ta disappear, and I didn't wanna lose her anyhow. So I gladly extended the offer ta house an' shield her here for the rest o' her life, if she was willin'. We fell deeper in love every day, o'course. I proposed ta her formally about six months ago. She knew about the Blood Oath already, I told her three weeks inta our relationship. I explained real well that it ain't enforced like some kinda organized rape. We ain't like that. It's gotta happen organically, an' it needs ta be mutual. Dar didn't corner her or nothin', neither did Jeeves."

They drew near to the cottage together. It didn't look too bad from the outside, bathed as it was in yellow morning sunlight. Red opened the front door and went inside, Lester behind her. He continued speaking as he looked around the kitchen with a speculative gaze.

"She was with Dar first when I left fer a little job in Sacramento. I asked Jeevesie ta go with me. The boy sure does love the zoo there. Darwin was recoverin' from a stab wound an' couldn't travel real comfortable-like, so I left Tsugi there ta look after him while we were away. She didn't mind none. This was a couple months ago, back in mid-spring. The precise details o' what went on, I don't know an' I didn't ask. Details ain't important. But when we came home, I knew."

He slipped off his coat and tossed it over a chair, rolling up the sleeves on his flannel lumberjack shirt. Red felt faint, jealous and a little sick. A sudden image of Darwin and Tsugi together came to her mind, and she tried everything in her power to force the thought away.

"Oh," she said faintly, "I see."

Lester opened his toolbox.

"I'm sure ya do," he said gruffly, "I know I did fer a long time. But the feelin' passed. After that she had an experience with Jeeves. Again, it arose organically. But he was mighty shy around her despite bein' real eager for companionship. It took a pretty bad incident ta bring 'em together."

He fell silent for a few minutes, lining up his tools on the counter. He unscrewed the top of a flashlight and plunked in two fresh batteries, then snapped it on and got on his knees by the kitchen sink to check the pipes. Red knelt down beside him as he grumbled and rolled onto his back for a closer look.

"What happened?"

"Looks like one o' the pipes burst at some point, then got taped up real sloppy-like by someone who didn't have a goddamn clue as ta what they were doin'."

"No, no…I mean with Jeeves and Tsugi."

Lester prodded a joint, then grunted in irritation as dirty water sprayed into his face.

"Night terrors. Just a couple weeks ago. They started up on account of a job we did. Broke up a kiddy porn ring an' killed the head honcho real messy. He'd taken the niece of a pretty high level politician, ya see. This fella didn't want his revenge done all clean like the Feds would have. That's about the time they come lookin' fer us. We got in there alright, an' found a shitload more'n we bargained for. A storage trailer full of stolen kids. Not all of 'em were alive. The heat, ya understand. Jeeves, he was the one to find 'em. He kinda took it hard."

Red had no trouble at all imagining the big man who was so completely in love with animals being just as enamored with children.

"God, I can't even imagine. Just hearing this is going to give me nightmares. Did you save them? The kids?"

"Save 'em? Shit, that wasn't our job. We unlocked the trailer an' let 'em out though. Tossed one o' the older kids the boss's cell phone an' let her know that the people who'd been hurtin' 'em were gonna be dead real soon. But that was all."

"That sounds like saving them."

"Whatever. Anyhow, Jeeves woke up screamin' fer three nights after that job was all over. I'd go runnin' in there, turn on the light an' get him all settled. That was my job when we was kids. Practically raised the big ol' sumbitch. He drives me motherfuckin' insane half the time, but he's a good boy."

Beneath his grumpy tone, Red could detect a deep fondness for his brother. She handed him a rag as he sat up, and he nodded his thanks and took off his glasses to clean them.

"So on the fourth night, he woke up again. I was all set ta run in there, but Tsugi put her fingertips on my chest an' shook her head. Then she slipped outta bed an' kissed my forehead in that way she does, put on her dressin' gown and tiptoed down the hall like a night nurse. I heard Jeevesie stop cryin' in his room, an' she stayed there with him all night. The next night too, an' he didn't wake up screamin'. It was a week before he could sleep by himself again. But he's alright now. She got him soothed an' settled in the way only a woman can."

Red thought about the livid bite mark on Tsugi's shoulder.

"Did he bite her then?"

Lester nodded and put his glasses on again.

"Durin' a nightmare. She didn't cry out fer me or Darwin though. Said she wasn't about ta let us holler at him while he was hurtin' and all. Hell, like we wouldn't find out. Darwin told Jeeves off fer bitin' his friend and caretaker. Jeeves got a little sniffly an' hung his head, an' Tsugi got up off the table I had her sittin' on an' put her arms around Jeeves, looked Darwin right in the eye, an' said 'Leave him alone.' Well, you kin imagine how that ended. No one talks back to Darwin 'cept me for some reason. An' I don't do it real often. It was a rough night. After a couple hours when everyone simmered down, Tsugi an' me sat on the front porch drinkin' sake an' watchin' the moon rise. I asked her about makin' love to Darwin an' Jeeves. I knew I had ta hear it just ta settle myself, 'cause she'd stuck her neck out fer Jeevesie an' it had been real outta character. She went quiet fer a little, then told me about both experiences. With Darwin it was unexpected an' violent, out o' the blue after a buildup of tension. They didn't cuddle or nothin'. Just kinda raw an' passionate like a pile o' dynamite goin' off. Christ, that made me wanna drink somethin' stronger than sake, lemme tell you. But I stayed quiet, waiter fer the rest. She told me that with Jeeves, she initiated it an' guided him through the whole thing like leadin' a blind man through a maze. He was all clumsy and shakin', sweaty from the nightmare."

He looked down at the wrench in his hands, turning it over a few times. "His momma abused him real bad, ya see. She ain't my mother. Somehow a rumor got around that we all got one momma and a ton o' daddies. That's horse shit, they got it flipped. We got us one real prolific papa and a ton o' different women who bore him kids. Darwin's was a small town gal, crazy smart. Mine was a showgirl from Reno. Never met her, but I hear she was a real looker. Jeevesie had himself a goddamn abusive alcoholic who made his childhood hell until he ran off ta come find his papa an' me again. They'd bounced him between houses on an' off. At the age of about thirteen, he snapped an' flat-out killed her. When Daddy found out what he done, he just chuckled an' said, 'There's hope for you yet, boy'. But Daddy was a shitheel too. I raised Jeeves up, by God. But I sure didn't heal him up half as good as Tsugi did. Even though I had thirty some years an' she had five days. Heh." He punctuated this, his longest speech ever in her presence, with a little chuckle.

Red was fascinated not only by the incredible tale he presented, but also by his slow, measured country boy drawl and his low voice. Not as deep as Jeeves's, nor as slow. And not as sensually husky as Darwin's. Lester's voice was a quiet growl, at times a bark. Coupled with his comparatively shorter stature and his muscular build and general demeanor, he reminded her strongly of a badger.

"I've never even heard of a family like yours."

"We're pretty unique."

"And you think someone like me would really appeal to Darwin?"

"It's a mystery ta me, too."

"Why are you such an ass to me?"

"Because yer such an ever-lovin' pain in mine. But I ain't opposed to ya, per se. So again we return to the question. Do ya think you could handle bein' Darwin's woman if he wanted ya?"

Red felt warmth in her chest, a sensation of safety and peace and salvation and even a touch of desire and love. Suddenly she realized that she didn't want anything in the world half as much as she wanted this. The agony of the past few years melted away, and she smiled and reached out to hug Lester the Badger as hard as she could.

"Yes. If he wants me, then I'll accept. I love this family."

"Great. Fine." Lester patted her back, then pushed her away and lay down under the sink again. "Hope ya don't mind endin' up shot then."