Hi folks – I don't know if anyone is still interested in this story. I know I abandoned it a long time ago but I decided I'd actually try and finish it (partly because I've been rewatching Psych and realize how great a show it really was). If you want me to finish this, please review and let me know. Also during the time of COVID-19 we all need a bit of a distraction. Stay safe and well!

Henry groaned as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was stiff and, for the first time, felt old. He took a few moments to stretch and to take deep breaths. He really had to start exercising and getting out more.

The last few months had been hard. He'd almost lost his only son – and then had to watch as Shawn recuperated from something that no one should ever have to go through. It had killed him to see the pain his son was in, but he was pretty sure that what was even worse was to see how the kidnapping and torture had affected him.

As much as he'd railed, for years, about Shawn's lack of maturity and his aimlessness, there was something about him that was special. His joy of life sometimes drove Henry crazy, but he had to admit that he himself got joy out of it. He'd also come to realize, since Shawn had started Psych, how really caring, smart and strong Shawn really was.

But now those things had seemed to fade. His son was a shadow of his former self and it was driving Henry crazy. And it wasn't just him, he knew. Gus felt it as did Juliet and Karen – and even Lassiter. All of them were missing the very things that had so often driven them crazy.

Henry slowly got up and grabbed his robe. As he headed downstairs, he once more tried to figure out what he could do to help his son. So far all he'd done was irritate him and Madelaine's ideas just weren't feasible. There was no way Shawn was going to agree to therapy.

He sighed as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Maybe he'd just have to take the bull by the horns and actually talk to Shawn. Tell him how worried he was and ask him how they could help.

As he walked to the kitchen he saw that the mail had been delivered through the door. He went to pick it up, hoping something would distract him from his worry.

Gus ate another bite of oatmeal and frowned. There had to be something they could do to help Shawn. His friend was not himself, hadn't been since he'd been kidnapped by Farris. Gus knew that Shawn was pretending to be himself, but so far it hadn't fooled anyone. If anything, it made the whole situation worse.

And then there was the fact that Gus still felt guilty as hell. He knew that his words to Shawn about ending their friendship had cut his friend to the bone. He was also sure, that no matter how many times he told Shawn he hadn't meant it, the other man still believed it.

And then there was the fact that he'd not always been great about contacting Shawn every day. He'd gotten the promotion and was busier than he'd ever been. Ironically, his career was taking off at the same time his friendship with Shawn was in jeopardy. That just made his guild worse.

He finished breakfast and decided to go to the lobby to get his mail. As he went, he wondered if he should get in touch with Henry – and maybe the others – to discuss what they should do.

Juliet sighed and stretched. She and Lassiter had just closed a case and she'd asked for a couple of days off. The last few months had been stressful and she needed to take some time. Fortunately Lassiter had been okay with it, as had the Chief. So now, she had two whole days to herself.

She wondered if she should call Shawn and see if he wanted to do something with her. It wouldn't be a date – but just friends getting together. Of course a part of her wished it was a date, but she knew that Shawn was still dealing with a lot, and now was not the time to tell him how she felt about him.

Since his kidnapping and to – she didn't want to think about that – he'd been different. He'd been more sober and less like the Shawn she knew. She worried about him and she knew the others did as well. At the same time, his experience had made her realize that she did care for him and wanted to explore the possibility of them.

For now, however, she just wanted to do what she could to help him heal – not physically, but psychologically. He needed his friends right now, and she hadn't been the greatest - too unsure and embarrassed about her feelings and how he'd respond.

She went to pick up the phone, but then looked at the clock and decided she'd shower and change first. As she walked to her bedroom she saw that the mail had been delivered. She reached down and picked it up.

Lassiter was in a bad mood. He knew he was in a bad mood and didn't care. The past few months had been difficult. Their solve rate had gone down, but he refused to admit it had anything to do with Spencer. It was just a cycle and soon things would change.

At the same time, he was angry about what had happened to the pseudo-psychic. As much as he'd never admit it to a soul, he'd gotten – used – to the consultant. And, no matter how irritating he was, no one deserved to go through what he'd experienced.

Lassiter felt a surge of anger towards Bill Farris and really wished he had him in his sites. He'd blow the man's – no, that was too quick. Well, he'd have to think of something to make him suffer for what he'd done to Spencer.

The other reason Lassiter was crabby- and he wouldn't admit this even to himself – was that he was frightened about the change he had seen in the consultant. As much as Spencer routinely drove him crazy, as much as he sometimes wanted to shoot him, he'd grown accustomed to the man-child.

Suddenly Spencer had seemed to grow up – and for some bizarre reason that made Lassiter upset. He'd longed for it, and now that it had happened he was uncomfortable.

He put on his holster and grabbed his jacket. He was working solo today as O'Hara had asked for a couple of days off. He would never say this to her, but he missed her when she wasn't there. She was by far the best partner he'd ever had. But he knew this had been hard on her too. There was something between her and Spencer, although he refused to think about it too much.

He locked his door and started to head for his car, but stopped and returned to his mail box. He pulled out the letters and looked down at what he'd received.

Henry's phone was ringing, but he didn't hear it. He was staring at the letter in his hand, the letter from his son.

He was numb – not sure how to feel although he knew that the numbness would wear off quickly.

What was Shawn doing? He read the letter again.

Dear Dad:

You've told me for years that it was time I grew up. Well, I finally guess I agree with you. So, I've decided that I need to go away for a while and discover "adult" Shawn. I have realized, over the past few months, what a burden I am to my family and friends and that all of you need to get back to your lives..

Please don't worry about me (although I know you will). I am actually doing something responsible now – not just taking off because I'm bored or too immature to settle into anything.

Thank you for all you've done for me. Although we haven't always gotten along, I have no doubt that you love me. I just want to be a son that you can both love, and be proud of.

Please tell everyone not to worry. I am fine and will be in touch.

Give my love to Mom and let her know I really am okay.

Shawn

"What the hell are you doing, Shawn," his father said, shaking his head. "I am proud of you," he whispered. But then he knew that he had to be honest – he had often not been proud of Shawn, although that had changed slowly, as he'd had success with Psych.

"Why didn't you say something," he muttered again. He slowly shook his head. "You tried, didn't you – but none of us listened. God!"

The ringing of the phone finally got through to him and he slowly rose and picked it up.

"Hi. Gus? Yeah, I got a letter too."

Later that morning, all the people who had received letters from Shawn were gathered in Henry's living room. They all wanted to do something. They all wanted to find Shawn and tell him they loved him as he was (Lassiter didn't say it quite that way).

In the end, however, they all realized there was nothing they could really do. Shawn was an adult – at least in age – and could make his own decisions. It was Henry who finally made the decision.

"I think we wait and hear from him," he said heavily. "I think we need to give him time and space to figure things out. He knows we love him" (he glared briefly at Lassiter, who shrugged and looked embarrassed) "and he knows we're here for him if he needs us. Other than that, I don't think there's anything we can do."

"Farris?" Lassiter asked.

"We find the bastard," Juliet blurted out. "We have to find him and make sure doesn't hurt Shawn."

"I agree," Henry nodded. "I'll do whatever I can to help."

"Henry, you're not a -"

"I know Lassiter," Henry barked, "but that doesn't mean I've lost my skills. I used to be a damned good cop and you can use me to help. This is my son damnit! Let me help."

Lassiter just nodded and the others all grew quiet. It was Gus who broke the silence.

"I feel like we all let him down," he said softly. "We all made him feel like he was a bother, that we'd be better off without him. And he's Shawn – one of the kindest, more giving people I know. Why did we do that?"

There was silence again and this time it was Lassie who broke it.

"Well, as much as Spencer can be a pain in the ass, he is our pain in the ass and we aren't better off without him. We'll find Farris, Henry – and then make sure and bring Shawn back. You have my word on it!"

With that everyone nodded, but no more was said. The light that was Shawn had gone and left them all in a darkness they hated.