I…remembered it. After my last fight with Sora, my memories had been coming back. I could remember the brief time from the beginning of my life again, from before my heart were overwritten. I couldn't say why. Did realizing that I was just a fake, make those memories resurface? Or maybe the real thing's existence reminded me. But still…
I remember that time. And I remember that, during those precious few hours, I was happy. I knew I was a fake back then, and I didn't care. Because I was still better than him. Or at least, I knew I could be. It wasn't like now, now when it's all this constant emptiness. Why…why do I feel like this now? When I didn't before?
…Loss? It's because I've lost it all, haven't I? At the start I had nothing, but I knew I had nothing, and I could crawl my way up from the bottom. But those people…they convinced me that I was more than that. They convinced me that I really was someone. That I had a past that was all my own. People I knew, people I cared about. An identity that wasn't just some imitation.
And then…AND THEN THEY TOOK IT ALL AWAY! Why did they bother giving me all that in the first place? I had it, I had what I wanted, just for it to disappear.
…Well, it was never really there to begin with, was it? But at least for me, it let me think that there wasn't this gaping hole in my heart. And then that illusion vanished, put me back where I was at the start. Only now I knew that wonderful sense of belonging, and knew just as well that I'd never, ever be able to have it…
No, no I can't let myself think that. I will carve out a meaning for myself in this world, even if it means I have to steal it. Even if the only way is finding my original and shattering his heart.