January 31st, 1838
It's been a few months since that night, finding out who I am. beginning my "studying" and training. Just a few months, feels like years. my head hurts constantly. My temper is beyond short. there's too much going on at once. Got into drinking, not really a shock. Started sleeping around, my own volition. won't lie, puberty is kicking my ass.
thoughts are stronger, urges are more forceful. and I won't lie my eyes are forever wondering. absolutely delicious. it's odd though, I noticed Atticus can't feel what I feel but he can defiantly see what I see and most likely hear what I'm thinking if he chose too. and I'm sure my thoughts have been wild since I moved up hill. After the discovery a few months ago Atticus preferred we stayed in his home, well at least near it. He's had many 'friends' of his drop by and educate me. So far I learned I'm of Greek and Egyptian descent, explains the skin tone. I am destined to be a darkness deity and that Atticus is VERY important. It was made abundantly clear. Atticus is the direct descendent of the first ever gods. Annabelle and Judaea. Evil and good. Yin and Yang. they had three sons, Atticus being the youngest. They also created other gods and so on and so forth, hell they even created the land were standing on.
it was truly interesting, of course different details varied from the gods that told me. so far I met 3 friends of Atticus's. One was short, he was a little ball of energy but not too overwhelming, he was Asian, Japanese he said. His eyes were a bright milky brown, they held so much optimism and kindness. His name was Kuebiko, God of Agriculture. he talked my ear off about the feast and how he helped pulled humans out of droughts and blessed them with food. He was absolutely beaming while he spoke, he went on and on about the process of growing the perfect corn field and I couldn't bring myself to stop him. even Atticus seemed deterred from stopping him.
The next was a pale man, blind. Cold. very stoic. his face was hard but eyes soft. He had dark long hair; he had a tattoo on his face. it was over his right eye, it was a rose, a beautiful red rose, but it was wilting. his lips were firm and pursed. a drastic difference from Kuebiko. while he wouldn't stop talking this one wouldn't start. He was Death, well. Not Death itself, but he was second in command as Atticus put it. His name was Saturn, Roman God of time. I guess what he means by that is telling people their time is up. he interested me the most. He described his job in great detail, he's blind. He only sees blobs but when a person's time is up, he sees them perfectly so he knows who to collect. He has a gun, custom made, and his bullets kill instantly. when he collects a soul, it turns to a rose and he loses a sting on his body. The man is covered in tight stings. He describes them as fishing wire. I couldn't imagine walking around covered in those all the time. He was a Grim Reaper. I'll definitely keep him in my sights.
The last was a calm beautiful woman, her hair was as dark as the earth she resided in. her eyes were a stunning green and her skin was perfectly tan. she didn't wear shoes though. she walked with a stride. her hair was short and wavy it fell to just past her ears. Her head was high and her eyes were proud. but not too proud. she had this energy about her. like she was floating. But she seemed...troubled. she has her head high but that was clearly a mask. Her name was Terra. The Roman goddess of the Earth. she took over where her 'father', Judaea, left off. his direct successor. Her and Atticus were hush. speaking in old Latin I believe? or was it Greek? they knew each other for a very long time and it was clear they were closer than the others. he asked a question and her face fell. she looked shocked and saddened, but he dropped it and she turned to me. She described her job like the others and she radiated pride when she did. I couldn't help but be impressed. without her most of our plant life and other plant creatures wouldn't survive. WE wouldn't survive. she spoke of having a successor of her own, or a partner, a woman named Gaia. apparently she's the sister of Saturn. I forgot most gods are related in some shape or form.
All of them were just the sprinkles on this cake I call my new life. Atticus advised me to meet this man named Thoth. but he isn't exactly assessable. He's the Egyptian God of knowledge. just hearing his name I know I'll get fed up with him. He's supposedly supposed to fill some gaps for me. We'll see if that even happens. If I even meet him.
I let out a sigh, opening my eyes and looking out the window. another one-night stand? same person though, familiar bed. familiar window, familiar view. Like I said. moving up hill opened up a lot of things I tried to repress. hell, he beat me down. I tried to deny it of course. I don't have time, nor the patience, nor the need or want. yet, here I am... in his bed again.
"Mornin." his raspy voice sounded behind me, I let out a sigh and rolled over to face him. "seems you're staying later and later honey. Lowell Kodiak. Not sure what I'm so drawn to with this fucker. I have a wide selection. Maybe it's his accent? American and southern. maybe his deep voice? maybe the muscles? the scars? the job. maybe the way he whispers 'darlin' in my ear when he notices me? maybe it's just his dick. yea. I'm going to go with that.
"seems so. maybe you're drugging me so I'll be here in the morning." I muttered out. I sat up and winced at the pain shooting up my back. he was always so rough. love it in the moment, always regretted it the next day.
he let out a low laugh, "Maybe." he handed me a cup of coffee and a small bagel. like every morning I wake here. I took it gently and sniffed it, "Yes. two sugars and four pours of cream. and cream cheese on the bagel. like always." he said as he walked over to his closet. of course. I made a small noise and sipped the horrible liquid. only so much can dull that shitty taste.
"you make me sound so vanilla and bland." I muttered.
Lowell Kodiak, a detective. Met him about two months ago. he strides over to me with such confidence. he flashed a pearly smile and when he spoke, I felt my knees buckle. that accent. being in England everyone sounds the same 'pip pip cheerio' the whole shebang. some more than others. he said he was born and raised in America, deep south. he had this bellow in his voice and boy did it rock me. I couldn't take my eyes off his stunning green orbs. they were pale a sever contrast to his jet-black hair and olive skin. he has the cutest freckles. of course, the first thing he did was flash his guns. weapons and muscles. I gave a small laugh because I'll admit, it worked. he bought me a few drinks and took me home.
after that first night, Atticus started asking questions.
I, of course ignored him and told him to mind his business. he respected it. after that night I ended up at his place weekly. guess I can't get enough.
"well... I wouldn't go that far." he chuckled. "want me to walk you back?"
"don't you always..." I responded quietly, I got out of bed and got dressed and waved my head, "but, not today. you seem to be running late." I downed the coffee and grimaced before taking the bagel and waving slightly.
"same time next week?" he said, not turning to me. a small chuckle escaped my lips.
"maybe." I headed downstairs and out of the apartment. my eyes squinted to the sudden sun light and I groaned quietly.
"well. you spend a lot of time here." Atticus.
"pass time. I asked him a few things on a case. don't worry about it." I muttered, not a full lie. I did ask if he knew who killed my papa. if there were leads or if he was even on the radar. he hasn't gotten back to me, I'll take that as a no.
"...Sco-" he cleared his throat, "Sullivan...why are you so secretive? I just... worry." he responded, "I have a right to be concerned."
he's right. I mean, 1838. Me, a Man. falling for the flirtations of another man so naively? obviously I'm pretty stupid. young and dumb. I try to ignore those urges. its 'unholy' I know it is. hell, all the books said so. I told him I always known. that I was different in some way. when I was little, I never looked at girls the way the other boys did. I never thought of them as more than women. never lovers, or sexy, attractive. I mean I was surrounded by nuns at the church. I just thought I was being a good kid and ignoring those devilish temptations. then I met him.
Alastor. he shook my world. He was new in town. a year older than me. he stayed in town for a whole summer. we played and became friends, then I realized. I wanted to hug him forever, I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to put my lips on his. I wanted to be with him. of course, I just thought it was because we were friends. after he left, I never felt that way again. especially not for a girl.
"... I'm sure you know. isn't it obvious?"
"You sound ashamed..." he responded back.
"Should I not be? I'm Christian Atticus." I remarked back, "I can literally burn in hell for this. Especially with knowing gods ACTUALLY exist. or, be killed if this was broadcasted."
"Sullivan. its normal..."
"What? no its not. having desires for someone of the same sex ISN'T normal." I shot back. what the fuck is he on. what world is he living in.
"Maybe for humans. you aren't human. and if you're into men, it's no big deal. most gods are into men and women. do you think we only have relations with the opposite sex?"
"I assumed. you had a wife and a kid, I assumed..."
"I'm not straight." he snorted. "far from it, I just have a woman preference."
"..." normal. nothing about this is normal. I'm not normal. and he's not even... does that mean they all aren't? he just accepts he's into men? how the hell do you even get to that conclusion? how do you act so nonchalant about that conclusion. just last week a gay man was beaten by an inch of his life while others laughed and cheered the attackers on. and he's proud he isn't normal? god I couldn't even imagine being him. being so open and happy and positive, let alone dating and settling down with man. no matter how much I prefer it.
"So, Sullivan...?"
"..." a sigh escaped my lips as a nibbled the bagel before tossing it on the street, a swarm of birds charging it almost instantly. I made my way across the bridge and overlooked the city. it was alive and waking up, the city glistened under the sunlight. it burns sometimes, especially after I started training. I might have to avoid the morning hours from now on. I gripped the railing and leaned forward against it.
"I..." I tried to begin and search for the words, "I... never...liked women..."
"Yea, I know." he said calmly.
"You know?" I grunted.
"you never overstep, you don't flirt, you avoid it actually. but you'll eye men like they're pieces of candy. you practically melted for that cop guy. and you always come back. I know you two aren't just talking every night. and. you're limping."
I could feel heat dusting over my cheeks. limping. was it that obvious?
"ok. ok. I get it." I groaned and dragged my hand down my face. "the bottom line is. women aren't a priority. ok? I like men. that's it."
"see now that wasn't so hard now was it?"
hate to admit it, but saying it to someone does feel liberating. I never had a chance to talk with my papa about these feelings and issues. I never officially came clean to myself before. I never acknowledged that elephant in the room. I wish I could tell him. I wonder how he'd take it. if he would be disappointed I didn't want a wife and kids. I looked down at the ring. I guess having him around isn't as bad as I figured.
"have you...ever been with a man?... how did you know...?" I questioned.
he made a small hum, "I dated a few guys before my wife. ah, there was one, his name was Titus. He's a dragon. an alpha in many ways. I know that walk of shame limp." he snorted. I gave a small laugh and messed with the ring. "and. you just know..."
"hm..." you just know huh?... "so, you were a receiver?"
"and a giver, don't get too cocky. he was my first and only top. foreign feeling. but I adored that man. then I dated Kuebiko."
"ah? I had a feeling you dated one of them. didn't think it was him though. you're way too much of and asshole for him." I snorted. he made a noise of disapproval.
"watch it." he chuckled, "but you're right, kinda why we didn't work out. he wanted to stay in japan and I had work to do...and we grew apart. then I met my wife."
I nodded.
"Sullivan, can I be honest?"
"aren't you always." I muttered, "shoot."
"I don't like him. that detective." he responded a bit coldly.
"Lowell?" I questioned.
"He gives me a bad vibe. I wouldn't trust him. if you want to sleep with him, that's fine. just... don't start falling for him and trying to be his little boyfriend. something is off about him I just don't know what."
"... no need to worry about that."
"Scotus Qut." I blinked and turned my head then turned around completely, then casted my eyes slightly downwards. A blonde was there. he was slender, shorter than me by an inch or two. He has a chubby little face, contorted in anger. his hair was in a small ponytail and he wore a Brown jacket with a pastel yellow turtleneck under it. he had brown and yellow plaid pants that tucked into some black boots with sunflowers on the heels. He was bright, and I don't mean because of his clothes, he had a slight glow to him and his eyes were a piercing blue.
"its..Sullivan. who are you." I muttered before side stepping and walking off.
"oi. don't ask a question then just walk away." he muttered and followed close behind. "My name is Geovani. Geovani Oxistar."
"uh huh."
"you are under arrest."
I blinked and stopped, looking at him, his cheek was puffed out and eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry. excuse me?" I could feel the corner of my mouth twitching, "for what pipsqueak."
"watch how you speak to me." he responded. "and for what?" he gave a scoff. "let's see, lawful endangerment, demon slaying without a permit, Demon hunting, unjustified murder, unauthorized hunting. I can go on."
I rolled my eyes and kept walking, "is that so."
"don't disrespect me. look I'm not sure who you think you are. but we have rules. and everyone has to follow them." he spoke.
I rolled my eyes again, "please. tell me more."
"look here. I'm taking you in. wither you want me to or not. I have a task to complete." I stopped and looked at him.
"oh, so you're going to make me shorty?"
"shorty?" he snorted, "that's a lot of heel for a man... don't ya think?"
I blinked and glanced down at my shoes and gave a low growl. "watch it you brat."
"look. I tried to be nice. but if we have to do this the hard way. I will." I laughed and shook my head.
"hard way? what will you do? pout until I give up?" I chuckled
his eyes narrowed significantly. "don't test me Scotus."
"it's Sullivan, or are you as deaf as you are tiny?"
Who the hell is this guy? of course, Atticus is fucking quiet. the fucking nerve this kid has. under arrest? don't make me laugh. it's clear he isn't human. he's way too radiant for that. he's stunning. absolutely beautiful. like a woman. who the hell does he work for? and why the hell are they arresting people? Especially if I have Atticus in me. I know they can sense him, especially if he's as important as he claims. then again, he is a beacon.
"I'll tell you one more time." he spoke and stepped forward. his heels clicking on the cobble stones. he stood firm and strong and stared directly in my eyes. his own fierce and ready. suddenly the streets were bare. not a single soul in sight. as if everything just stopped. he pulled his hair into a better ponytail, making sure his bangs were out of his face and he had a mark on his forehead. a star it looked like. "you're under arrest."
"Helios." Atticus finally spoke up. "he's one of his angels. I knew he sounded familiar..."
I tuned him out and kept my eye on Geovani. he was unwavering.
well. I guess were doing this.