Disclaimer : Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Natsu's POV

He was an idiot. Everyone always told him so and he always brushed it aside. It didn't matter much. His heart was where it should be, his intentions pure, his feelings strong and his loyalty unwavering. He had the necessary skills to analyze a fight and act accordingly and for everyday life, he counted on his senses to tell him when he did wrong. And he apologized. A lot. It usually got him through every kind of situation. But not this time. He felt it deep in his soul. He had fucked up something to unequalled proportions. It wasn't a case of burning something down or destroying some property. Nope. He had managed to damage something pure. His bond with Lucy was suffering and he had no idea what to do.

When he had fled her room, it had been survival instincts. It had seemed such a good idea when in fact he had run away like a coward instead of standing his ground and talking it out with her reasonably. She would surely have come up with something clever. Now, it was far too late to talk about it. What would he say anyway? Oh, by the way Lucy, what about that time we woke up half naked in your bed? Ah, that would go well. He flushed just thinking about it. How could he sustain a conversation about it without blushing beetroot? Oh, this was painful. He could not think about her anymore without getting a physical reaction. This would not do at all. He had never been subjected to such abject lack of control over his own body. He had never reacted so strongly to anyone either before. Not even Lucy. Why wouldn't it obey his mind anymore? He huffed and threw an arm over his eyes in a futile attempt to keep both sensations and memories at bay.

That day, he had ripped a mission randomly from the board and took off with Happy. It was so much easier than face Lucy and her myriad questions for which he had no answers. He had cooled down during those few days and came to an uncomplicated conclusion. Lucy was his best friend, his accomplice and whether he fancied her or not, he would allow nothing to come between them and destroy their friendship. Lucy was an attractive girl but he had always known it and it had never bothered him before. He determined it would not start now.

The first week back at the Guild and working with her had been totally unremarkable. She was the same as always and he had breathed a sigh of relief. All was well, they could revert back to the usual bickering and teasing. So he did. It was natural to smile to her and have fun together. He had no doubt the oddity was over and done with. And if she seemed prettier it must have been a trick of the light. But then he began to dream about her and things got very complicated very quickly. Regular wet dreams were not something he was accustomed to. To say he was embarrassed and annoyed would be a major understatement. Worse, he dared not touch her anymore. Any friendly contact during day time would be fantasized tenfold in the night. He sometimes wondered if he should sleep at all. He would try but had a feeling it wouldn't turn out so well for him. He had always had a very tactile relationship with Lucy, both of them drawing strength and courage from it. It was their own private way of expressing their care and their love for each other. He had noticed the flash of hurt when he deliberately sat next to someone else. He couldn't take her hand or throw an arm around her neck without paying for the offense during nighttime. He was sick of it and he missed her. So the next logical thing to do was take group missions so he could bicker with Gray and take it out on him. He always felt so much better after. Lucy would invariably talk with Wendy and everything would get back to normal. It was a win-win situation. Except it wasn't as simple.

Her flat had always been a place where he felt comfortable so it was only natural it was one of his favorite places. He spent as much time there as he did in the guildhall. The first time he went back there after the incident, he had hesitated. Her bed lay there, mocking him and memories flooded his mind. He would not consider how she had looked. He determinedly looked elsewhere and sat himself stiffly in her kitchen. But he had not been able to come back in her flat at night. However tantalizing it was, however much he wanted to sleep with Lucy curled up on his side, however strongly he desired to hold on her tight and warm her, he resisted the urge with all his might. After all the fantasies he had lived through in his sleep, he wasn't quite sure he would hold her as innocently as he used to. Quite the contrary in fact and it scared him to consider how depraved his mind seemed to have become. He couldn't even say how he could conceive these scenarios. He had only ever kissed Lisanna when they had been 14, there was no way he had any first-hand experience of these… images. He blushed. And swore as his body reacted. His teeth clenched in anger. It was always so very sweet at the beginning. Damn the perverts of the guild to hell and back so he could burn off some stress on them! He was sure it was their doing, their fault, that his mind had soaked up their dirty talk without his awareness. And now, it had decided he was ready to move things up.

He wasn't. He wasn't at all. He did not like change and avoided it like the plague. Major change only brought pain and sadness. First he had lost his father, then Lisanna. Why the hell would he want any alteration concerning Lucy? He had no wish for her to disappear too. Mira and Elfman had changed after Lisanna's death and were still not the same people they used to be, even after her safe return. He had had to change and adapt. He accepted new friends with ease but once relationships were clear and defined, he saw no reason to revise anything. He was not willing to reshape his friendship to something more. It was enough. Her laugh, her twinkling eyes, her loyalty and love, it was enough. He had no need for sexual bonuses no matter how strongly his body denied that thought. This was his best friend he was thinking about! He clamped his mind shut. He adamantly refused to think of her this way.

He knew she had taken to stay late at night at the guild and chat with the other girls, especially Mira and Kana. They were friends, he reminded himself. She had asked Lucy as a partner on Tenrou after all. He knew they cared for one another and often went into girl-talk as Lucy once dubbed it. But he was still a bit concerned about it because Kana was a notorious drunk and she was entirely capable of corrupting his partner or at the very least, put her in unfortunate situations. He would have to ask Mira to keep an eye on them. He also felt a bit left out but he would deal with it. He had Happy. So it was with a certain surprise that he noticed Gajeel come to him. He had been watching her from afar as she drank and laughed with Kana when the dragon slayer had sidled to him unceremoniously and interrupted his thought process— or rather his own self absorbed pity party. It was already quite late and the guild had found an excuse or another to party again. It was loud and boisterous, exactly how he liked it even if he had no intention of joining a fight for once. Gray was trying desperately to avoid Juvia's advances and he snickered. It was quite obvious he was not out of the woods yet. Served him right! Erza was engaged in conversation with their master far from him and that was for the best. Happy had ditched him in another vain attempt to catch Carla's eye and curry her favors. She was not being cooperative, he noticed absentmindedly. That made two of them. At least he wouldn't be the only miserable one. Gajeel huffed next to him and crossed his arms on his chest. He glanced at him from the corner of his eye and returned to his contemplation of Lucy without a word.

— You need to do something about Bunny girl's smell." He blinked.

— What?

— Did I use words too big for you, Salamander?

— Are you sniffing Lucy, you pervert?" Anger stirred in him and his fists clenched instinctively. He had no right to smell his partner. No one did. If he was looking for a fight, he was going to give him one damn quick.

— Pshaw." He looked away with disgust. He saw red and butted his forehead against his.

— What are you saying, tosser? Looking for a fight? I'm gonna lit you like a Christmas tree," he warned, a hint of danger in his voice, a low growl at the back of his throat. He was not in the mood for a fun, friendly brawl.

— Get the fuck under control, Salamander," he answered coolly, one eyebrow raised in curiosity at his display. "Even Luxus had noticed."

— He sniffs her too? What's your problem, weirdos?" Warning bells were singing a loud chorus in his head and he felt his body temperature rise accordingly as his magic gathered in his gut. He felt hot all of a sudden, the heat of fight rather than desire for once. It made for a refreshing change and he welcomed the surge of power and comfortable, homey warmth. It almost felt like Igneel was near him. Fuck, he missed him.

— She smells funny, 's all I said. Don't get your panties in a twist.

—Lucy always smells good," he denied. He fought to fight a pout. He may not have been able to smell her recently as much as he used to - wanted to his mind provided and he scowled - but he knew it without a doubt. And he felt affronted anyone else had sniffed her. She was his partner. They could get their own without messing with his. Didn't Gajeel melt for Lucy's friend, the script mage anyway? Why the hell would he smell Lucy?

— Oh, that she does. A little too much even. And I don't even like her most of the time.

— What the hell are you talking about? Munched a little too much iron and it got to your head?

— You can't be that daft," he barked. Gajeel looked at him intently then broke out laughing darkly. "Man, you can. Well, humour me. What does she smell like then?"

— Sugary," he mumbled not amused.

— And now?" he prodded.

— What the hell, Gajeel? What does it matter?" he exploded, his voice harsher than usual. This was more than personal, it was entirely private. How Lucy smelled to him. What would he want to know next? How she tasted? Stop it! He bawled out to his own mind as it provided unwanted and improper images. He screwed his eyes shut. It didn't help.

— Go on then. How does she smell, right now? You're a dragon slayer. I know you can smell her from here if you want to.

— I don't have to answer you.

— I'm telling you it has changed. I don't usually bother but it permeates everywhere she goes. It's so potent, you can't have missed it!

— ALRIGHT!" he barked, his fist slamming on the table, tendrils of fire dancing around his wrist, little flames licking his skin in anticipation. Heads turned to them momentarily. "She smells of anger and sadness and disappointment if you must know. Now leave me the fuck alone," he cut the discussion short and turned his back on him. Gajeel looked at him, disbelief obvious and clearly at a loss.

— You're kidding, right?

— Do I look like I do?" he spat testily, eyes flashing and fangs showing. "What are you still doing here? Don't you have someone else to bother?"

— Tsch. You are really dense, you know that, right?

It seemed the whole guild suddenly took an interest in his friendship with Lucy. First, Mira and her merciless teasing. Then Kana who stopped talking to him abruptly. Gajeel and his inappropriate questions. Gray, with pointed looks that turned to downright dirty. Erza. What was it with the constant sulk anyway? Even Loki. For some goddamn reason nobody would share, he had angered Loki. Like blind fury, unparalleled rage with white lips, violent shade of red and a deranged gleam in his eyes that spoke of vicious brutality. So alright, he wasn't that dumb. He had gathered it had something to do with Lucy. But if all wasn't as relaxed as it used to, this was taking it a bit far. They hadn't fought or anything. They just had a bit of a problem talking about an unfortunate incident that had happened weeks ago.

He shut himself home. It could not go on like that, that much was obvious. Maybe he should talk to Lucy but she was so unapproachable he dithered. She didn't like to talk about feelings and neither did he. And really, he didn't know how to broach the subject. He wasn't sure either he wouldn't throw himself at her and ravish her. He didn't even know what they all blamed him for. If she wasn't angry at him, why would the others be? Also she was a girl. Maybe if he tried to talk with a guy, it would prove more profitable. His lip curled in distaste. Fuck, there really was no way around this then? No. Not really. Any other avenues were worse.

He asked Gray. It was humiliating and they rarely saw eye to eye but he would surely shed some light. He should have known it wouldn't turn out well. It never did. They liked to tackle each other and would generally do so in friendly rivalry. Not this time though. It was personal, he could feel it. Whatever he had done to spark him off was now a blazing fire. You'd think he had killed his puppy. Of course he started by insulting him and they brawled before he could even get a full sentence out, much less a vague idea of the problem at hand. He needed help there, not another glower or a thrashing. But first he had to erase that hideous scorn off his pale face. He would not back down. He would never forfeit against Ice Prick, no matter they had similar strength. Seemed righteous anger helped boost Gray however. They huffed and puffed but continued to face each other. Fists aflame, he growled in warning but the other wasn't backing down an inch. It felt good to punch him. All his stress, his anger, his worry, his disappointment and sadness, his frustration found an outlet against Gray and he wasn't willing to go without it. They were bruised and ached all over. They were both aiming at hurting the other the most and were managing quite well. He sported a shiner most assuredly and may even have a few cracked ribs. Gray wasn't faring much better. One of his eyes was swollen and he favoured his right arm. He had sprained his left last time he managed to get a hold of him and wrung it. His own knees were shaking with the exertion and his legs were about to give out but his mind was alert and his anger still raging. Their bloodlust hadn't abated yet. This fight was far from over. Their magic were reaching low levels and they would soon be out of it completely. He would have to rely on brute force. He intended to mash his face and clout him until his hands hurt and bled. Willingly or not, he would spill the beans and he would get enlightenment. And finally, he told him. Oh, he informed him alright. Gray was not happy that he had made Lucy cry.

He had made Lucy cry.

All fire extinguished, he had looked at Gray without understanding. He had made Lucy cry? How? When? He would never hurt her. Didn't he know that? The cheater took the opportunity to administer a violent hook that left him sprawling on the floor. He had made Lucy cry?

— Stop! he cried out as Gray was leaving. "Just fucking stop Gray!" And it was the use of his name as much as the pleading, desperate quality of his voice that made him turn back and sit beside him. He had never heard Natsu sound so distressed and lost. He sighed. This was going to be a long, difficult talk.

— Lucy is family. If she hurts, we all do," he stated.

— Loki?" he wondered, distractedly.

— He is overly protective of her and she was sad because of you. The rest is history." Natsu hummed softly. Gray knew he understood protection and dedication. That idiot lived by those standards. The situation between Lucy and him was even more incomprehensible. "What the hell happened?" he exclaimed unable to restrain his curiosity anymore.

— I… I couldn't say really.

— Try," came the dry reply. "Try hard. And start at the beginning." Natsu huffed and turned his back on him. How… uncommon.

— We woke up together." His eyebrows rose. Really? He knew they were close and it was gossiped in the guildhall that they sometimes shared a bed but he had not imagined it to be true. Nor Natsu to confess it so easily. "And she was beautiful," he admitted quietly, so quietly in fact he wasn't sure he heard him. Maybe a figment of his imagination? Nope. So what? His partner was a pretty girl, it was no big deal. Nor was it anything new. Or maybe it was, for him? Really, he was so innocent sometimes.

— Everyone can see that, Natsu." He looked at him with such undisguised anger and possessiveness he was taken aback. Well, apparently, they could see but should better not say. He almost chuckled. Hadn't he been aware of the underlying sexual significance of sleeping with Lucy? Hadn't he felt any… stirring? Or maybe, he had just discovered it and been spooked out. It would be so very typical of him. Was it just that or was Natsu… in love? "Make it right."

— I don't know how," he sounded defeated. He was miserable, he suddenly realized. As much as she was. Those two were idiots. Blind, oblivious idiots.

— Talk to her. Kiss her." He noticed with amusement the brilliant blush blossoming on his cheeks. Yep, definitely in love. And knowing what a big lummox he was, he probably hadn't a clue. If they weren't both so hurt, he would laugh his head off over their foolishness. Oh, he got tease material for decades… if he could fess up and ask her out.

— You're one to talk. Can't even decide if you like Juvia or not. I am not taking advice from you," he pouted childishly. Oh, he would not take the bait.

— What? The almighty Salamander is not brave enough to tell a girl he likes her?

— Shut up, Gray! Of course I like her, she's my best friend!

— Now, now. Don't play stupider than you are. Happy is your best friend. I don't believe for an instant you entertain the same thoughts towards Lucy than you do your cat.

Natsu flushed scarlet. How was he even capable of such color? He smirked. He knew he must have conjured up some very lewd images of Lucy. His best friend, my ass. And why couldn't he have that conversation with Loki? He was the Don Juan. Ah, yes. Because Loki would kill him on the spot, that was why. Or Guildarts maybe? Nope, that pervert without an ounce of self-restrain would make things worse. Gray sighed. Natsu had a point though. His own love life was difficult as it was. What kind of advice could he give? But that nitwit was dreadfully inept. He would fuck up even more if left on his own.

— It is painfully obvious you miss each other. She likes you too, you idiot. What's the worst that can happen?"

The look he gave him was unnatural on Natsu's face. Plain, absolute disbelief. And agony in his eyes. Ah, he had forgotten the dragon slayer's terror when it came to change. His bad. Well, that was not going well at all. Should he talk to Lucy? She might be able to shake some sense into him. He had a headache. And his body hurt all over. Fuck, they had been heavy-handed. He wasn't sure he'd be able to get all the way back from Natsu's place to his own. Not on his own anyway and he'd rather die than ask the dumbass lying on the grass next to him for help. And realized that's exactly what Natsu had done. Ask for his help, when he knew he was angry against him. Well, he had to give him that.

— Why did you ask me?" He suddenly wanted to know and did nothing to repress that craving.

— Tsch." He turned his head away. "Don't be daft." Silence fell on them. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even feel the need to fill the silence. It was somehow soothing. "You're family."

That was surprising. Or was it really? If he really, desperately needed an ear, who would he ask? Probably Loki or Natsu. Given the circumstances, he had been the most logical choice. And however strongly they competed, however at odds they usually were, however much they annoyed the hell out of each other, the bond between them was as strong as brothers. And brothers should stand for each other.

— Yes, we're family," he answered simply. "And I don't like to see either of you suffering. Face it, Natsu. You're in love with her. There's nothing wrong with that."

— Am not.

— What are you? 5?" He sighed. "You can enter a lost battle and find the will and means to win it but you can't face Lucy? Pretty lame if you ask me.

— Shut up," he demanded but the fight was gone from his voice. Only a deep sadness and a resignation he had never heard in his friend's voice. It was unnatural from the usually cheerful and buoyant pink-head.

— It won't just be different Natsu. It will be better.

— I'll think about it.

— Not anymore no. I'll tell you why everyone is angry at you. Lucy drinks with Kana. She blubbers to Mira. She smiles but it never reaches her eyes anymore. She laughs but it isn't catching. She works but there is no heart in it. She cries. Often. Loki had to step in so many times now it's obscene. She needs you and you aren't there. You aren't there Natsu.

The silence was deafening between them. He knew he was piling it up on him. He knew he probably wasn't helping but Mavis helped him, he would strangle him if he couldn't grasp how concerned they were for the both of them. They didn't recognized their friends. Neither of them acted rationally anymore and it hadn't even been two months. What would it be in another one? Half a year? Next year?

— Oh, I hear you loud and clear. I hear you hurt too. I hear you're afraid and scared and lonely. I hear you're suffering and at your wit's end. I hear you have no bloody idea what you're doing nor what you're getting into. But fuck, Natsu. That's life. You grow up. And you get into a pretty steady romantic relationship at one point. You're already serious about her. Man up. She won't reject you.

— You're one to talk.

— My relationship with Juvia has no place in this conversation. It is totally different. But if you want me to beat the shit out of you again, you only have to ask. I'll gladly oblige Flame-Brain.

— Next time, I'll tan you so much and so hotly, Juvia will not recognize you.

— Pish-posh. Guess I used words too complicated. Must have given you a headache just trying to understand.

— Fuck off, Gray. I ache all over.

— You'd better sort it out with Lucy quickly. Next time, I won't be able to placate Loki and I assure you, you won't win against him. Not in the state he is currently in. You fucked up. Make it right.

— Yeah. I will.

A/N : Would you leave a review?