I was listening to P.O.D's song "Thinking About Forever" in the middle of the frickin' night, and this idea just kind of filtered into my head... and stuck there, demanding to be written before I fell asleep. So I gave in, grabbed a monster from the fridge, and stayed up 'till like five in the morning to write this...
I'm actually really proud of this one. I hope you guys agree it was worth the grouchy hell I went through the next morning! Haha.
xXx
The earth trembled from beneath sandaled feet. The buildings lining the once peaceful streets of the small civilian city rumbled, tiles shaking free from the roofs, and the unstable wood forming balconies and posts toppled to the dirt ground. The narrow streets were echoing with horrified screams as men tried to save their valuables from the rubble, and women scooped their children into their worried arms.
Every moving body was streaming south of the street- towards the nearest exit out of the village.
And amidst all this chaos, one body strode determining forward, against the current of mindless frantic shoving bodies that ran in the opposite direction. His body was straight, rigid, on guard- other then this, he showed no appearance of being fazed what-so-ever by the havoc that swarmed around him.
Another tremor ran beneath him- what could only be the result of his partner's extraordinary chakra. He could hear the gurgled laughter of a man who truly enjoyed engaging in violence, and he could only imagine the strewn mangled bodies and bloodied sand that would meet his sight just around the corner.
Pein had ordered the assassination of one of his previous informants who had gone traitorous. The man had been recently appointed as the leader of the somewhat prosperous village, and Itachi could only surmise that the power had gone to his head and transformed him into a blind fool who figured he was powerful enough not only to betray the Akatsuki, but to think that he was now beyond their reach.
The closest pair at that time had been Itachi and Kisame, and so on Pein's orders they had taken a detour from tracking the nine-tails to seek out and eliminate this small-time traitor.
Itachi figured it was probably a good thing he and his partner were assigned to this mission; Kisame was a man who thrived off of excitement ridden violence, and Itachi had denied him that small joy for a while now.
After all, the red eyed man mused as he glanced at his broken and ravaged surroundings. His moves stand out far too much. We can't attract attention at every fight we get into.
Kisame hadn't complained at all at the lack of bloodshed, though his recent solemn attitude was a hint to his partner that he had just been grudgingly biting his tongue.
So to make up for it (and to quench his partner's bloodlust for at least a few more days), Itachi had allowed Kisame to go all out, claiming he was tired from his last encounter with Jiraiya, and that Kisame would have to take on the traitor himself.
The ex-swordsmen of the Mist had been ecstatic, at best.
Itachi kept his breathing even, his eyes level and focused straight ahead of him.
Away from the frightened faces blurring past him.
Away from the haphazardly strewn bodies (both young and old, women and men) that were victims of Kisame's bold and outlandish attacks.
Itachi didn't approve of the slaying of innocents… but he had no right to stop Kisame; especially when Pein had emphasized making sure the bastard of a traitor felt the severity of his actions before he died- what better way then to watch his beloved city wither and die as its citizens were cut down in cold blood?
But still… the Uchiha couldn't help but see it as a useless, needless, mindless show of chaos and calamity.
Most of the people of this village had no part to play in their leader's unforgivable actions. Their deaths… well, they weren't deserving of them.
A burst of an insurmountable portion of chakra became present, and all at once Itachi knew Kisame had used one of his favorite jutsu- Suiton: Bakusui Shoha- to level the playing field with an entire lake's worth of water.
Hn. The shinobi that fool hired must be formidable for Kisame to resort to this. Itachi thought to himself, even as he concentrated his own chakra into his feet and lunged off the ground to the balcony of one of the few buildings that still stood completely intact.
Just as his feet hit the deteriorating wood of the balcony railing, a torrent of water rushed around the corner, waves cascading over waves towards the frantically running people trying to escape it. It was frothy, the tips pure white as they engulfed everything they touched, like a ravage dog foaming at the mouth.
A shrill ongoing scream rang in Itachi's ears, and he peered though long raven locks to spot a small boy- nothing more then a toddler, really- sitting in the dusty, debris ridden streets, his small chubby arms outstretched at the crowd of people as they became more and more distant.
His mother must have left him in favor of saving her own life.
Left him. A small, helpless child. Doomed to the cold grip of raging water, his life snuffed out before he even got the chance to live…
Crimson eyes looked from the screaming child to the seething rapids quickly approaching the small, fragile body.
Before the skilled shinobi even knew what he was doing wind was whipping his hair back, away from his face. Feet collided with the hard ground, legs pumping hard across the street. Strong arms scooped up the small body, then, just as the first droplets of water soaked into the silk of his heavy coat, he was in the air again, his lithe legs kicking off the nearest building to propel his body over the street as the surging element greedily swallowed everything below.
Itachi landed gracefully back onto the balcony railing. The pure power and speed of the water racing below him was so deafening it overshadowed all other sound, blocking out even the terrified wails of the small child clasped in Itachi's right arm.
At the thought of the boy he just saved from the hungry rapids below, Itachi turned his head slightly to inspect the small body clinging to his coat; crimson eyes widened just a fraction in surprise to find that the kid wasn't crying.
His small mouth was slightly agape, his blue eyes widened in awe as he took in the features of his savior.
The two stared at each other in silence, Itachi feeling slightly more and more awkward as he tried to analyze and rationalize his spontaneous action.
What if Kisame or maybe even Zetsu (Kami knows that plant could be anywhere and everywhere) had seen him? How would this contrast with his otherwise emotionless and ruthless image? What if his entire façade had been jeopardized by this one small instant of heroism?
Noting his small ward's original mother had probably been swept away in the man-made current (and if she had truly abandoned the child in the first place, Itachi would have found himself unable to return the kid to the selfish woman, regardless) his sharingan scanned the area coolly, spotting a group of about five people huddled on the roof of one of the houses a block over.
Not knowing what else to do with the kid he held, he jumped across the gaps between buildings and houses with the grace fitting for a dancer until he reached where they crouched, arms and hands grasping each other like it was the last time they would hold another person.
As he got closer, he realized it was a family; the man held his wife and his oldest daughter in both arms, and the women clutched her two youngest daughters to her chest in a protective manner.
When the cloaked man suddenly appeared before them, the father was on his feet in an instant, his fists up, ready to fight for- and ultimately, to die for his family.
A small stoic shake of the Nukenin's head reassured the man that he was not there for a fight. Itachi shifted, lifting his cloak a bit to reveal the rescued toddler, his small body still clutching Itachi's form, tiny fingers entangled and wrapped into the mesh of his undershirt.
The woman's eyes widened in understanding, and she, too, rose, stepping closer to him with her arms slightly outstretched, ready to take the baby and comfort it in her motherly embrace.
The Uchiha would have gladly handed the baby over, but the child seemed to have other plans. When Itachi attempted to pull the child away from himself, tiny fingers only tightened around his mesh shirt, grasping a bit of skin as well. Bright blue eyes looked up at him, and Itachi immediately recognized the emotion swimming in them.
It was fear. Fear at being left behind again; fear of losing everything he knew.
The stoic man began to feel the tell-tale burn of anger spreading in his chest. Something so utterly pure and new to the world should not have to endure the course feeling of an emotion as raw and overpowering as fear, and the Uchiha found himself wanting to protect the undeserving child from experiencing it- or any other emotion too trying for his young age- again.
He could feel the sudden urge to protect pulling and tugging at the insides of his stomach, and the undiluted need to do so was so staggering it startled Itachi, and he again tried to escape the grasp of the child, almost desperately prying away the small chubby fingers from his clothes. A small desperate whine escaped the toddler when he felt himself being ripped from his savior, and as soon as Itachi was completely free of the kid's tiny hands, a terrible scream erupted and Itachi found himself wondering how a tiny body could make such an ear-splitting sound.
The child continued to scream, even as he was nestled into the warmth of the women's arms, her soft voice whispering and cooing in an attempt to settle the boy down.
The Uchiha stood, hesitating. Noticing the slightly unsure look in his posture, the mother spoke, her voice soft, loving.
"We'll take care of him." She assured. "You saved his life; now we will nurture it." Her eyes shined with sincerity, and Itachi heard himself speaking before he even realized he had opened his mouth to answer her.
"Arigatou."
She merely smiled, and bent down to introduce her daughters to their new baby brother.
As Itachi leapt away from the scene, he could hear the low baritone of the man's voice as he hovered over the toddler as well.
"…I've always wanted a son."
The man's words continued to echo within the raven haired prodigy's head despondently, triggering a vaguely familiar hopelessness to ferment within his hollow heart.
xXx
Eventually the water subsided, and Itachi decided it would be better for him to wait outside of the village for his partner.
When Kisame's huge bulk suddenly appeared at Itachi's side, the shorter man glanced up to gauge his partner's mood, determine how good a fight it was, and how long it would be until Kisame needed another one like it.
As it turned out, Kisame was facing Itachi as well, regarding him in a different manner.
Itachi shrugged it off, not really interested in the curious look he was being given.
"You've made a mess here. We need to leave before others arrive."
The blue Missing-nin did not reply; instead he quietly followed his partner as he made a dash into the dark cover of the forest.
The two were completely silent for the entire night. Itachi was rather used to silence, but even this one seemed… heavier somehow. Kisame was usually the one who would often make small talk, just for the sake of hearing words.
But that night was different. The Mist shinobi stayed completely silent, only speaking when he volunteered to keep watch for that night, then falling into his uncharacteristic reserve once again.
The next morning as the two set out in a muted travel, Itachi noticed his partner seemed to be in deep thought- as if contemplating something.
"Itachi."
The crimson-eyed man was beginning to think that he had seen what had happened the other day.
"Eh… I uh, hope you don't mind my asking… but…"
Yeah. He had definitely seen something.
"..Why did you save that kid?"
"…"
"I mean… uh… I'm not going to go around telling everybody that you've gone soft. Heh, even if you had suddenly grown a heart, that doesn't make you any less dangerous, you know? I was… just curious, is all."
"…"
Kisame sighed deeply, ripping his eyes off the stoic face of his partner and deciding to look anywhere but at the man beside him. He hoped he hadn't offended or angered him in any way. Even after all the years of working with the Uchiha he had never once seen him lose his temper, and he was sure he would never be able to figure out how that genius mind of his worked, or what would even be bad enough to set the emotionally-void shinobi off in the first place.
But damn! Ever since he had witnessed his partner handing over a toddler (so gently too, as if he was afraid any real amount of force would break the small being) to a few survivors of his powerful suiton jutsu, the blue man just couldn't get his mind off it.
But Itachi seemed adamant about dropping the subject, so Kisame did- albeit grudgingly. He swore if he ever figured out the enigmatic man walking beside him, he would more then likely go insane.
Itachi, on the other hand, couldn't let the question go so easily.
Why? Why did he save that child?
Itachi was no stranger to death; he couldn't escape the fact that many were denied life even by his own hands. Even those who were otherwise innocent.
So why?
The day passed around him, the sky darkening into a brilliant shade of scarlet that rivaled the hue of his own eyes. Life bustled around them as they finally reached another small village, and he could hear Kisame beside him talking to a man about getting a room at the hotel, but none of the words would register.
It was only until the dead of night, when Itachi found himself unable to sleep and opted instead to stand out on the balcony in the cool night air wearing nothing but his dark pants, that Itachi finally came up with the reason.
As he looked back at what had transpired between him and the child the other day, he noticed how easy it had been to hold the child; how snugly the small body had lied in his arms; the comfort he felt as the warmth of such and innocent being emanated and seeped into his own body; the urge he had to shield the soft delicate skin from even the icy bite of the wind as he leapt through the air.
And then there was how the small boy had looked up at him with adoration and trust…
He knew now. He had saved that child because deep down inside- down where he had buried himself, smothered his emotions into silence so he could take on the role of a cruel cold-hearted criminal and detestable older brother- he knew he still longed for the simple pleasure- the undeniable luxury- of having a family.
Of having children of his own. Daughters he could love and protect; sons he could teach and sew the virtues of loyalty and determination within. Children he could watch grow, leaving their pure, innocent states to become formidable shinobi, or even doctors, teachers- someone he could be proud of, knowing he had a hand in raising them- in bringing them into the world. To have someone look up to him, ask him for advice, come to him for protection- such things that were a father's responsibility.
At the realization, his chest swelled, choking him in emotion never to be experienced- suffocating him with the knowledge that he could never be allowed to consummate the gift of having a family of his own.
All that had been taken from him the moment he had been faced with a decision no one should ever have to confront. The very instant Konoha had asked him to betray his clan- had made it a mission priority- he was denied any chance at a normal life.
But the Uchiha found he didn't hate Konoha for stealing away that right. He had done what he'd done for Konoha- to protect the families already dwelling and thriving within the village. He knew he couldn't blame them.
He knew he couldn't even point an accusing finger at the clan. When they had formed the coup d'etat, they had no intention of ruining their kinsmen's life- if anything, they had figured once they took control of Konoha, all their clansmen would benefit from a better life.
As selfish as their action had been, it hadn't intentionally been to hurt Itachi.
So the man stood silently captured by the comfort of the night air, finding he had no one to blame for his misfortune, and surprised to uncover that he didn't want to blame anyone.
After all, he thought, a small selfless smile forming on his serene features. I may not ever know how it feels to be a father, but my actions have caused fatherhood to be a priority in Sasuke's life. At least he still has the chance to experience such an important role. I'll have to leave the rebuilding of the clan and the return of honor and integrity to the Uchiha name to him, now.
Itachi had given up his own happiness for his little brother, so that one day he could find happiness.
And it comforted the silent man to know that he was okay with that.
That was the role of a big brother- a role that Itachi full-heartedly embraced and would devotingly carry out until his death.