Fate: Back to you
Heiji and I are both happy but every single day, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm convincing myself I don't miss you even though I do. I knew that even after breaking my heart into two, it still beats for you. That after all these years, I know I'd go back to you. A letter to Kudo Shinichi, written by: Miyano Shiho. (Read Fate: Regrets and Acceptance first)
A/N: Errors ahead. Sorry. Don't forget to review.
Disclaimer: I don't own DC.
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Mr. Holmes of Heisei Era;
I never intended to write this but I just did. Heiji's on a case and he's spending the night in the HQ so might as well use my time to write this one. It's been 6 months since I got married and moved here in Osaka, I haven't heard from you ever since. Every time we went to Tokyo to visit Hakase, you're on a case. You're always busy- Sherlock Holmes of Heisei Era.
I'm not the reminiscing-the-past type of girl but there are times when I looked back to our shrunken days, laughing and wondering how on earth we managed to live a life like that. I always thought that I shouldn't took the antidote and just live my life as Haibara Ai. Maybe, just maybe, everything will change. Maybe, you're with Ran-san now and maybe we didn't have to face the pain in losing someone we both love, our child.
Did you remember the night of our celebration? The night this all started? Maybe not, but you told me one thing and asked me to keep it a secret. You told me a secret that you have and how scared you are for Haibara Ai to know. I remember it clearly but I thought it was a joke because you were just too drunk, too drunk to not even recognized me. "Don't tell Haibara this because she's going to kill me. I fell in love with her for a long time. I didn't even know when it started but I really am. Don't tell her". You said and you didn't know how happy I felt that time. I wanted to tell you that I felt the same way when suddenly you cried and held my hands saying, "I love her so much but I can't be with her. Ran, she's waiting for me for years and I just can't leave her. Not loving her back will hurt her but as long as I stay with her she wouldn't know. Please help me. Help me out of this misery".
One thing lead to another that night and imagine my disappointment when you didn't remember what you told me when you woke up. You focused your attention on Ran as promised. You're getting your life back and I let you, even though I knew deep within your heart you're in love with me too.
Did you know I always think about you after that day you saw the pregnancy test? How could someone who claims to love someone abandon her during situations like that? Is your guilt to Ran stronger than your feelings for me or is the confession you gave me just a spur of the moment thing?
I kept on waiting for you. I kept on waiting for the time you choose me too. But you didn't. Even Heiji chose to look after me and accompany me for my check-up. I was afraid when the doctor warned me about my pregnancy. How a simple stress can end everything. Then the miscarriage happened.
I avoided you after but imagine my disappointment when you started avoiding me too. Are you afraid of me? Or embarrassed? You didn't even try talking to me. You didn't even stop Heiji when he's making his move on me. You didn't even ask me to say no to him. You didn't even do anything, you just stood there in your balcony watching the scene in front of you- watching Heiji got down on one knee and asked me to marry him right in front of Hakase's house.
What you said to me at the hotel's rooftop the night before the wedding made me realized how matured we become. How we handled the situation and for once I saw how hurt you were. I saw through you, how you closed your eyes shut in order to stop the tears from flowing. How a smile plastered on your handsome face can be so sad. You're suffering as well and I can feel it. I can't help but smile the way you said you imagine our child to be a detective.
Thank you for everything Shinichi. I wished you all the best with Uchida Asami- san*. In case you're wondering, Hakase told me. She's your senior when you're in high school. You're her first loved according to Hakase and I'm happy for you. For continuously living your life to the fullest. Can you look for Hakase for me please? And don't follow any suspicious man again during your date.
Don't worry about us here. Heiji and I are both happy but every single day, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm convincing myself I don't miss you even though I do. I knew that even after breaking my heart into two, it still beats for you. That after all these years, I know I'd go back to you.
Best Regards,
Your own version of Dr. Watson
…
I looked at my laptop's screen and sighed. My phone rang alerting me of an email. I opened it and smiled, it's from Heiji. My eyes landed on the laptop screen again. I read what's written and laughed out loud. How silly of me to write a letter and not sending them. A letter for one Kudo Shinichi, of all people. I deleted it immediately. I grabbed my phone again and smiled as I read Heiji's email again. "I'll be home first thing in the morning Mrs. Hattori. I love you".
Guess this is for everyone's best- not going back to you, right Shinichi?
…
A/N: This is short and lame. Sorry about that. The last part will be Heiji's POV. I'm still stuck on that though. Give me your thoughts. Thanks
*Uchida Asami- Shinichi's senior and former student council in Teitan High. Her first crush was Shinichi a revealed in the post credits scene in "The memories of first love case", episode 100-101.
Extra A/N: I chose Hattori Heiji, an unusual partner for Miyano Shiho because he's the only one I can think of that will hurt Shinichi even more. I could've picked Hakuba Saguru or Kuruba Kaito but they are not as significant as Heiji in Shinichi's life. Imagine falling in love with the same girl. Imagine how painful it is for Shinichi, looking at his bestfriend proposed to the one woman he loves. Damn. That hurts.