Chapter 2
Sam's mind was dull and unresponsive as he drove down the interstate trying to put as much distance as he could between him and what used to be his family. He couldn't get what he saw in his father's mind out of his head. The headlights pierced the darkness of the night, but his tears made the road blurry and hard to see. He fought down his own raw emotions and gripped the steering wheel so tightly his fingers began to cramp until he loosened his grip and stretched them, massaging them as best he could.
His body was still trembling, and he was gasping short breaths from the encounter and he began to doubt his actions. Should he have not told them he was the one who killed Azazel? Should he have kept it all a secret and made some story up about his disappearance? Could he have lived a lie? Could he have taken the memories from Dean of what he saw him do? Could he have come up with a cover story as to why he knew John was in trouble? So much anguish and doubt and grief flooded his mind. He choked back his sobs and made himself push his feelings back until he could find a place to stop. Sam knew he couldn't drive much farther after nearly wrecking several times.
With the drive to St. Elizabeth, the fight with the ghouls, worry for his Dad, and the reaction from the others, Sam hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours. He was running on empty now that his adrenaline rush was depleted. He wanted to drive as long as he could in case anyone tried to follow him. After a glance at the gas gauge, Sam knew he would need to stop within the next hour to fuel his car. He was heading south with no destination in mind. He just wanted to lose himself in the world and be alone before he let himself be open to any of his own feelings.
The 24-hour truck stop lights shone like a beacon in the black of night, and Sam pulled off the interstate and headed for it. There were not many stations open this late and he was glad to have found this one. He needed caffeine to keep going for a few more hours. Sam was sure he was almost far enough away now that he could find a motel to check into and get some rest. He was going to drive a few more hours if he could hold out, and his body didn't betray him and then find a motel.
The window was down, and the radio was blaring, as Sam tried to keep himself awake and the car in his lane. He shook his head and blinked hard several times before wiping a hand down his face. It was still dark and that didn't help matters and only seemed to put him in a trance as he focused on the lines on the road. He jerked awake and steered the car back onto the road, when the tires hit the ruts on the side of the road that would warn drivers, they were veering off it. Sam knew he couldn't continue like this or he was going to wreck. He started looking for signs of motels so he could stop and let himself unwind and rest. Too much had happened to him in the past twenty-four hours for him to handle.
He signaled to exit the interstate and followed the signs to a small motel and parked in front of the office. He was somewhere in Oklahoma on the outskirts of a small town called McAlester. The vacancy sign was on, so Sam got out and pushed open the office door hearing a buzzing sound that made him flinch slightly. A door behind the counter opened and an older man stepped out giving Sam a once over before speaking.
"May I help you?" he asked.
"Could I get a single for a night please?" Sam replied not able to keep the tiredness out of his voice.
"Let me see," he said looking at a layout of the motel and running his finger over it. "Sorry, no singles at the moment but I do have a double available."
"I don't know if I can afford that," Sam said. His body seemed to deflate with the idea of having to look for someplace else to stay. He didn't know if he had the strength to go on. He had to watch his money until he could figure out how to get more. He had a bank account with a little money in it but accessing it would alert anyone looking for him of his where abouts, but he might have to chance it. If he closed the account and left the town immediately that might work.
As if sensing Sam's distress, the man said, "I don't usually do this, but you don't look like you can drive anymore. What if I let you have a double for the same price as a single?"
"You'd be doing me a huge favor sir. I've been driving awhile and I'm exhausted," Sam answered, relief flooding his face.
"Well, I'm glad to help. If you'll fill this out for me," he nodded pushing a registration card toward Sam with a pen.
"Thank you so much." Sam took the pen and quickly scribbled the information needed and pushed it back toward him. "I might need it for two nights if that's okay. I'll go ahead and pay up front."
"Okay, Mr. Rockford, your room's around back on the end. If you decide not to stay an extra night, just come by and I'll refund the money. I hope you enjoy the stay. If you need anything just come by the office. There's vending machines and ice maker down at the other end of the walkway."
"Thanks for this, you are a good man," Sam told him taking the key and heading back out to move his car around back. He was lucky there was a parking space in front of the room and took it. He got his bags from the car and went to the door to open it.
He flipped on the light and gave it a quick once over before moving inside. It was simple, but clean and didn't have any weird smells or stains that he could see. Even now Sam moved to the bed farthest away from the door like he always did when Dean and he were together. His brother being ever the protector told him if anyone came through the door, they would have to come through him first before getting to him.
Sam adjusted the heat and used the bathroom before stripping out of his clothes, leaving on his tee shirt and briefs. He pulled the covers back and collapsed onto the bed, ready to stop driving, thinking, worrying and stressing. He needed sleep more than anything right now. He just hoped that his muddled mind would allow it.
spn
The bad dream that was haunting Dean had him jerking in his sleep and flaying, sending him rolling to the floor of the waiting room from the couch he had been stretched out on. He made a dull thud that had Bobby sitting up to see what was going on.
"You okay Dean?" Bobby asked him as Dean picked himself up from the floor and sat down on the couch.
"I'm fine," he replied wiping a hand down his face and looking around, letting his mind catch up with his body. It took him a moment to remember what had transpired last night and why they were in a hospital. The memory of Sam leaving rushed back and he got up to go to the restrooms that were right outside the waiting area. What little sleep he had gotten was not restful, so he still felt exhausted and drained. He relieved himself and went to the sink to wash his hands and splash cold water on his face. After he had dried off, Dean headed back to the waiting room to find Bobby talking to the doctor.
"Dr. Marsh is something wrong with my Dad?" he quickly asked.
"No, as I was telling Mr. Singer here, I checked on him this morning and he is mending nicely. He will be going down later for an MRI of the head to check that there are no slow bleeds or swelling. If he continues to improve, I will have me moved to a room tomorrow."
"That sounds good, how long do you want to keep him hospitalized?"
"At least three days to keep check on the head injury and check for infection. I don't think he was pleased with that, but we need to be cautious and not let him go too soon. Wouldn't want him ending back in the hospital due to complications."
"Thank you, Dr. Marsh, I appreciate what you've done for my Dad," Dean said. He shook the doctor's hand before he turned to leave.
"It was nice to meet both of you. I'll review the MRI and will be back around later today to check on him. If we find anything with the test, you'll be notified." The doctor shook Bobby's hand and headed out of the room.
"Why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get some breakfast?" Bobby asked. "It's still an hour before we can see yer Daddy and you need to eat if you're going after yer brother."
"So, you think I should go too?" Dean asked getting up to follow Bobby out of the waiting room and toward the elevators. He thought of Bobby as a second Dad and valued his opinion knowing he would be logical about everything.
"I think you should follow your heart and do what you think's best for you. Sam doesn't need to be out there alone in his state of mind. We don't know what happened to him while he was missing. He needs to know we're still here for him, no matter what. He needs all the support we can give him right now."
"He does and I'm not letting him face this alone. I'm not going to stand by and do nothing. I don't care what Dad says, my mind is made up."
"Maybe you can convince him to come back to the salvage yard. Neither of you boys have to do it alone. There'll always be a place at my home for both of you."
"Thanks Bobby, that means a lot," Dean nodded. He stepped off the elevator and they followed the signs to the cafeteria and went inside. It was starting to fill up as they got a tray and got in line. It was mostly self-service, and you paid the cashier before finding a seat.
After Bobby paid for their meals, they found a table in the corner and started eating. For hospital food it wasn't too bad. The coffee was hot and strong, just how they liked it.
spn
"As soon as I see Dad, I'm heading out, no matter what he says. I'll check the tracking program before leaving the parking lot since I'll still have wi-fi. I'm hoping he's settled somewhere and can catch up with him before he moves again. Can you stay with Dad and try to make him do what the doctors say?"
"I will, but I can't make any promises on that. He can be a hard-headed, stubborn, sob. Do you know what you're going to say when you find yer brother?" Bobby asked. He knew the guys didn't always see eye to eye on things and it could get heated.
"No freaking idea. I'll wing it and just go with the flow. I mean, we need to know what happened to him those two months he was gone." Dean didn't want to mention what he saw Sam do at the house until he talked to him. He wasn't sure how Bobby would take it and it really should be Sam telling him. It was his story after all.
"True, but I wouldn't push him too hard. Let him tell you in his own way or he might shut you out completely."
"I know; that kid could be so moody when we were growing up and if he was really miffed, he could go for days and not speak to anyone. I think I know him better than anyone, hell, probably than he knows himself; I'll get him to talk," he said trying to sound confident, but not completely feeling it.
By the time they got back up to second floor, visiting hours had started and they made their way to John's room. Dean went in first and looked to his father's still form. The head of the bed was raised, and he looked like he was asleep. Dean tried to be quiet but hit the rolling table making a noise.
"Sorry Dad," he apologized when he saw John open his eyes and blink sleepily at him.
"It's okay, I need to wake up anyway," John replied as he drew in a few deeper breaths.
"Doctor said you were doing pretty good," Bobby commented moving to sit in a chair opposite of Dean.
"Yeah, I figure I'll check myself out later today," John surmised.
"And end back up in here when you collapse somewhere?" Dean exclaimed. "You need to do what they say. A head injury is nothing to mess around with Dad."
"The boy's right John. Don't be a jackass and make matters worse," Bobby agreed.
"At least stay a couple of days to be sure about your head injury and the gun shot," Dean said. "Doctor said you were lucky that the bullet missed your heart. This is not something to take lightly Dad."
"I guess you're right," John conceded deciding he wouldn't make it out of the hospital on his own accord at the moment. "Couldn't drive myself very far right now anyway."
"I'm going after Sammy," Dean stated firmly. He didn't want to waste any more time since John seemed lucid and stable.
John looked at his oldest son and the stoic, determined, unyielding look on his face and knew there was no stopping him even if he wasn't laid up in a hospital bed. He had a feeling this was coming and looked away so Dean wouldn't see the hint of fear in his eyes. He knew it was Sam, but it wasn't and that is what scared him.
"Look, I know I can't stop you, but why don't you wait until I'm out of here and I can go with you?" John offered hoping to stop him from going.
"No Dad. The longer I wait, the farther away he'll get," Dean replied. "I don't care what you say. He's my brother, and he needs me right now."
"You heard what Sam said Dean, he killed the Demon and that demon was the most powerful one I've seen. It might not be safe for you to go alone. We don't know what happened to Sam when he went missing. He's not the same person you knew two months ago son. You saw that for yourself."
"It might be better if I go alone. After his reaction to all of us when he told us about the Demon, I don't think he needs us to come crashing in on him. Sammy might be more open if it's just me." Dean didn't want to come right out and say what he was thinking.
John clenched his hands into the sheets as he stared at them. He wasn't in any shape to help either son and it ate at him. "Alright, but Dean, be careful. Your brother has changed, and we don't know how or why. He might be dangerous to you or to himself. If you can't reason with him or help him…Dean there might not be any other choice but to stop him however you can."
"Sam wouldn't hurt me," Dean fumed with anger as spasms of irritation crossed his face that his father would even jump to that conclusion without finding out the facts. "I know my brother, and he needs family right now. I know he's changed, I could see that, but that doesn't change who he is in my book," Dean stated, regarding John with cold speculation.
"Will you at least call me when you find him?" John asked seeing he wasn't going to be able to reason with him. His face grew haggard with worry as he pinched hip lips tightly to keep from saying anything else to make Dean angry.
"Why don't you go to Bobby's when you get discharged to finish healing and I'll be in touch?" Dean asked looking to Bobby who had remained silent through the conversation.
"He's right John, you need to let yourself heal. Dean can handle his brother; you need to take care of yourself if you're going to be of any use to either of your sons," Bobby told them.
"I guess you're right," John sighed giving in. He rubbed his head and grimaced as a dull pain set in behind his eyes.
"Doctor said they're doing another MRI to check your head. I'll have Bobby call me if there's any problems," Dean said. "I'm going to head out, take care Dad. Watch out for him," Dean said to Bobby as he turned to leave.
"I will," he replied. "Take care of yourself."
"Goodbye and Dean, be careful when you find him," John called to him as he watched Dean walk out the door. "I couldn't have stopped him if I tried, could I?" he asked Bobby.
"No John, you'll never be able to stop him from looking out for his brother," Bobby told him. "It's ingrained in his genes since Sam was born to look out for him, and that's not going to change no matter what. Just pray he can talk some sense into Sam and get him to come back. I saw a lot of pain and heartache in that boy's eyes and it bothers me that I was the cause of some of it. Sam was always a sensitive kid growing up and I think he could sense our feelings when he told us about killing the demon."
"What if I can't handle it Bobby? What if I drive him away again?"
"He's still your son and you need to treat him like that. He needs to know we're all there for him, not just his brother. If you can't, you may lose both of them."
John didn't say anything else as he mulled over what Bobby had said. He knew the older hunter was right, if he couldn't come to terms with whatever happened to Sam, he would lose both sons. He knew Dean would choose Sam over him if it came down to it. He laid his head back and closed his eyes as the ache in his head increased. He didn't know what the future was going to bring, but he hoped his sons would be safe together.
A/N: Dean is going after Sam and try to convince him to come back. Thank you for coming along for the journey in the second part of this trilogy. I do like reviews. NC