Effort appreciated. Yasuo was still very glad to have him as friend, in that special time far from home. Yes he was aware that he cost Yi some peace and money just by staying here. But against such calm acceptance, what else could he do ? It seemed that refusing his help would be worse than taking it. And elso because it would make the latter worry for him.

So this blessed situation was fine, for now. Even as it gave him more and more guilt after each day. Yasuo was thankful for the gesture.

That evening, he got the routine in place and they settled for a movie. What a nice setting and company. It felt like his childhood, with his small family trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch to watch series. Right now, it had barely changed, a friend and a cat instead.

Lily was responsible for his happy mood most of time. Even if at first she didn't seem to like him, she let Yasuo closer little by little. Soon maybe he would hope to carry her without any annoyed reaction.

Small cutie.

In the end, Yasuo didn't really focus on the movie itself, other things in mind. Like Lily, comfortably sitting in a fluff ball in Yi's lap. He could pet her a little and she purred loudly all the evening.

The other thing in his mind was far less innocent. Really, how could he still seem normal ? In such moment he often failed to keep control and not relax and linger closer to the latter. It would be easy, they were sitting next to each other and shared the blanket in this not so warm season. No no no. Here was the same yearning for contact. It could be so vicious with him, urging to seek someone else's presence.

I can't.

Yi's offer was still very loud in his mind, persistent memory but he refused to act on it. It wasn't the right moment nor the right reason. That latest time he merely suggested because he knew him to be a little not depressed but surely struck the low mood.

Nothing like what he really needed. Probably if Yi realized what he wanted, he would take the offer back. And Yasuo wouldn't be mad at him, used to a craving difficult to fulfil.

Now he lost track of the plot of the movie, thoughts following someone instead. If he wasn't pathetic enough, he started to envy Lily for being cuddled whenever she asked. Stupid indeed, she had all right to be loved and paid attention to. But sometimes wouldn't be easier for him if he was a cat instead ? Yasuo laughed innerly, really that was dumb to think about. Not that desperate. Yet he was still here, longing for an embrace impossible to get.

I need to go out. Find someone outside, live a little. At least to distract him from his problems and the increasing pull toward someone that asked nothing. Yi didn't deserve such troubles.

Terrible, wasn't it ? To enjoy someone's company until it became clear it wasn't for the same reasons anymore. Something new blossomed since then, that would likely die by itself soon enough.

Forget, forget.

No use in hoping and dreaming. Yet it killed Yasuo softly to catch himself staring when the latter gave his goodnight, when he called Lily with affection, when he merely noticed him and grinned. Very sad yet incredibly gentle feeling.

How did this place start to feel like home in such short time ?

Alone in his head yet he had good company, sitting there on 'his' couch as Yi said. Lingering on memories of old times, when he didn't consider this otherwise than friendship. It was a lot more easier, no problem for him. But at that time, he didn't know where his preference lied yet. Stop thinking about that.

Far too useless. Just like this sort of crush that developped in no time. It would be a shame to catch feelings for someone impossible to get, huh ? Mom did raise a fool.

And all this happened without Yi hearing of it. If he was discreet enough. Shit. No need to get caught, that would be the worse.

Once the movie was over – without Yasuo giving it much thoughts – Yi stayed with him in the living room to go on the internet. So still some time before he left him alone.

Himself was quick to find a distraction before his thoughts could slip again. No need for that. So he played with Lily instead, still finding some joy in watching her rush after a toy. Light chuckle each time she jumped to catch it with more or less grace.

One time though, after a really impressive race finished on a jump, he heard a similar laugh from behind, making him look back. Yi too found this entertaining, showing a kind expression. Yasuo focused back quickly on Lily, not to betray the so slight fluster. Fuck. Handsome.

Exactly what he shouldn't be thinking when glancing at his friend. But would his heart shut up ?

Peace came back only after Yi went to bed, and it still was a bit later. Looking for Lily to hug her goodnight, then wishing Yasuo all the same with the same smile and soft tone when exhaustion weighed. He couldn't show too much, he waved back gingerly and watched him go indeed.

Alone, again. Truly, after such thoughts, maybe it was for the best. At least he could calm down a little and pretend to be an adult, master of his emotions. For better effect, he went went outside on the small balcony and stayed in the definitely not hot temperature. If Yi caught him there, he would be kicked back inside and wrapped in blanket and scarf. But the latter was gone to sleep, he wouldn't come back unless for urgent matters.

Crazy how late they were, almost in spring but it remained chilly. Yasuo didn't complain, this wasn't a matter for him. Leaning against the rail, he observed the street and any kind of person walking by at that time.

Saturday….

Indeed he could have gone out and enjoyed some fun. But again, he didn't want to pass as an asshole looking for entertainment while bothering Yi at home.

There, back to thinking about his friend. Deep sigh in the night, he wasn't happy with himself for that. Soon he would need to find some comfort outside, to forget a little. Who knows ? Maybe he just projected on Yi because he was present. I hope. If at least he could fall for someone into men, that would be great.

All this train of thoughts was interrupted by a curious meow, Lily making her way quickly to the door to the balcony. SHIT NO.

So in urgency Yasuo ran back inside and locked the door shut before she could sneak outside. Then he relaxed, despite the lament down there of a indoor cat kept from exploring the world.

« I'm sorry…I forgot you weren't allowed. » Sharing her sadness, Yasuo joined her on the floor and tried to hug her as much as he could.

Lily still cried her missed occasion but let him do. Then she made a move to leave again, hopes broken to pieces.

« Goodnight. » Whispered in the living room right before she left.

Completely off his previous mood, Yasuo pushed himself to prepare the couch. Once it was done, he lied down and stared at the ceiling, thoughts silent without reason. Ok ok. He looked for what he was thinking before but again, it joined Yi and a light blush took over.

Shit.