Exams are done, uni is finished for the year, and I'm exactly half-way through my masters! Hopefully this story will be done before that happens, but, knowing me…

I forced myself to sit down today and write this chapter out. I think that's going to be the only way I can do it. Waiting for inspiration is like waiting on a double rainbow – awesome when it happens, but it happens like, once or twice a year.

There's a little bit of emotional progression in this chapter, so I hope you like it. Thank you so much to the wonderful people who left me a review last chapter – you made exams just that little bit easier :3

Chapter 20 – revelations

With shaking hands, Matsuri picks up another shuriken.

"Again," I shout at her, and she throws the weapon at the target. It bounces off and clatters to the floor, the metallic ringing bouncing off the walls. It joins the dozens of others, laying like discarded paper on the ground.

"Again," I shout, arms folded in front of my chest. She's yet to have a single shuriken bury itself in the target, and we're not leaving until she hits a bullseye. She's lucky I don't have a whip – the people who trained me would have lashed me bloody by now.

"I can't!" she cries, stamping her foot. "We're been here for hours, I can barely lift my arms anymore!"

"Does it look like I care?" I retort, keeping my stance. "The Uchiha demand the best. If you can't do it then we'll take you back to Itachi and he'll throw you to the dogs. If you can't do this then you're no good to the Uchiha. You're showing weakness, and weakness isn't tolerated, and those who aren't tolerated die."

"I know, I know!" she groans. "Pain is easy when it's consistent and all that. This isn't about pain, this is about me not being able to lift up my arms anymore!"

"Same shit, different smell. Get over it. Now hit the target!"

She takes a breath to calm herself, shaking out the muscles in her arms. "Could you show me how to do it then? I feel like I'm missing something."

I roll my eyes, but step forward. "How are you holding the shuriken?"

She lifts her arm and gets into position, and I can see immediately what she's doing wrong. She's off balance. I quickly make the corrections, make sure she's aiming correctly. When I give her a nod, she sends the shuriken flying.

It hits. Not the bullseye, but it hits the bottom corner of the target. I can see the pride light up her eyes, finally seeing progress.

I don't let the pride show on my face.

"I know it's not perfect," says Matsuri carefully, looking to me for approval. "But my mum used to tell me that being bad at something is always the first step to being kind of good at something."

I let a scowl pass over my face, and watch her flinch. "Whatever you remember of your mother you need to forget. It's a weakness." I turn away and go to stand behind her, ignoring the tears in her eyes. "Again!" I shout, and she slowly picks up another shuriken and throws it at the target.

Over the next three days, Neji attempts to teach Hinata how to shoot. He also fails spectacularly at attempting to teach Hinata how to shoot.

Hinata has just under four days left on her clock – the ghostly seconds taunt me as they tick down; I swear they're ticking faster than they use to, and the fact that Hinata's imminent death isn't filling me with excitement is growing more and more worrying. I have to kill her, and this growing apprehension or whatever is only a distraction. I have to kill her. I have to kill her.

I feel like I'm trying to convince myself.

Her numbers falter for just a second, like smoke caught in a breeze, so quick I can almost believe it never happened. But then they reassert themselves, stubbornly clinging to her like death. I don't know what to make of it. I know the numbers can be wrong. Hell, they've been wrong twice about Hinata. But this time they can't be wrong. Third time's the charm, right?

At least it'll be quick. She'll just go to sleep and never wake up. Maybe they'll even make it dreamless for her. I hope she's not caught in a nightmare when it happens – I don't want her to be frightened in her last moments.

Thoughts of Matsuri worm their way into my head then, planting themselves neatly in my brain, an unwelcome guest. She was so young – enthusiastic and eager to please. But if there's one thing that Matsuri taught me it's that kindness and mercy get you killed. There's no space in this world for hope and joy. Only blind loyalty and suffering. That's what makes the difference between the survivors and the dead.

And at least Hinata won't know she's going to die. I'll never forget the fear in Matsuri's brown eyes as the gun was held to her forehead. She tried so hard to be brave, but I saw it there, nestled in with the hope that she wasn't breathing her last breath. Sheer and unadulterated terror. But she didn't plead or beg; she just stood there and accepted her fate, like I taught her. Like I trained her.

She could have been incredible, if the Uchiha hadn't punished her for my mistakes. But at least I never made the mistake again.

Which is why I can't let Hinata live. If I don't kill her, the Uchiha will punish her for my mistakes. My mistakes and her father's mistakes and the Hyuuga's mistakes. And her suffering will be severe and acute and she'll be begging to die before the end, and I can't let her go through that. She deserves a better death than what the Uchiha would give her. A death as kind and gentle as she is.

I raise my eyes from where they've been staring at the floor and watch as Neji tries to teach Hinata how to shoot. I can tell from his breathing and the puckering of her brow that they're both frustrated. The target twenty feet in front of them is riddled with bullets, but none of them have hit a bullseye. Hinata raises the gun and shoots, missing her mark by at least five inches, and I watch as her annoyance grows – the tightening in her shoulders, clenching of her jaw.

"It's not working, Neji!" she says, and I can tell she's on the verge of giving up. "I've done everything you've told me to, followed every step and every rule, and it's not working! Why won't it work? Why am I so bad at this?"

Neji is pinching the bridge of his nose, liable to snap. "Look, let's just try it again," he says through gritted teeth, taking deep breaths. "You know how you are when learning a new skill."

Hinata looks just about ready to hit him, but instead turns the gun back to the target, firing every bullet left in the cartridge. I swear she's able to hit everything but her mark.

She's shaking with frustration, but before she can say anything Neji flings his hands up in the air. "Fuck it," he says, walking towards me. "Sabaku, you take over. I give up. It takes a fucking village or whatever they say. Your turn." He flings himself unceremoniously onto the bench beside me as I wearily get to my feet.

Hinata looks like she's about to cry, but she holds back the tears glistening in her eyes and takes a deep breath, reloading the gun. I stand beside her, watching the way her trembling hands push each bullet into place. It'd be so easy to kill her now, I think to myself. She isn't paying attention to me, Neji isn't expecting an attack. I might even manage to break her neck before Neji disables me.

But then the numbers above her head dance in my peripherals and I shake myself. Three more days. Three days, fifteen hours, twenty-six minutes and one second. I can give her that. I can give myself that.

Steeling my nerves, I see what I can do to improve upon Neji's teachings. "How are you holding the gun?" I ask her, and she quickly shows me. Her form is perfect, her fingers exactly where they're meant to be. I take the gun out of her hands and inspect it myself, but it's in perfect working order.

"I don't get it," she says quietly, soft enough that Neji can't hear. "Why am I so bad at learning things?"

I look at her, confusion on my face as defeat crosses her eyes. "Ask Neji, he'll tell you. Once I get something I'm really good at it, but it takes me forever to get it. It's so frustrating, I don't understand why it always takes me so long."

I hand her back the gun, unsure how to respond. Thoughts of Matsuri invade my brain again and without thinking I say: "Look, being bad at something is always the first step to being kind of good at something. You'll get there." I don't know if it's supposed to help, but she gives me a small smile in return.

"Thanks, Gaara," she says, and turns back to the target, gun raised. She shoots, and the bullet goes a hand width to the right of the target, and Hinata looks about ready to slice the target in two, but I think I can finally see the problem.

"Relax, Hinata," I say to her, and come around behind her. "Your form is perfect… if you were Neji. But you're not. You're smaller and not as physically strong as he is. The gun is an extension of your arm, not something that's going to turn around and bite you. Stop seeing it as something foreign and try to see it as just another part of you." I bring her shoulders down and bend her arms a little more and try to ignore just how close the two of us are standing. A shiver goes up her spine and I pretend to not see it. "Don't pull the trigger either. Just squeeze it, gently. Like you're trying to close your fist, rather than pull something to you. Make sure to breathe out beforehand too."

She nods slightly, and I try to ignore the gentle blush staining her cheeks. I can't fathom why it's there – probably because Neji is watching. I wonder if I'll see her blush again before I kill her. I hope so, it's a nice colour on her cheeks.

Hinata takes a breath in, then breathes out slowly. She squeezes the trigger, and the bullet gets an inch from its mark. The closest yet.

"So close!" she whines, looking back at Neji. "It's improvement though, right?" she asks him.

"Sure," he says, and I turn to face him. He's looking at me through narrowed eyes, and I realise that I may have stepped a little too close to Hinata. "Good job, Hinata. Keep practising."

She turns and smiles at me, fireworks lighting up her eyes. "Thanks Gaara, that really helped!"

I shrug, taking a slight step back. I can feel Neji's eyes boring holes in the back of my head. "Just doing my job."

She raises the gun back up to the target, and I watch her closely. The faint blush on her pale cheeks, the few strands of peculiar blue-black hair that have fallen loose from her bun. I catch myself wanting to push them back, and quickly clench my hands at my sides. Where the fuck are these thoughts coming from? I bury them in the back of my mind. Thoughts like that are dangerous; thoughts like that could prevent me from doing my job. Hinata is a job. Nothing more, nothing less.

Maybe I knocked my head a little harder than anyone thought when I jumped off that building. It would certainly explain these ridiculous thoughts and feelings that have started to invade me these past couple of weeks. Fucking anxiety and apprehension and pretty moonlight eyes with fireworks in them. It would certainly explain the fucking death clocks I can see above everyone's heads. Those have caused me nothing but trouble! If I hadn't seen Hinata's timer counting down a month and a half ago then she would have been squished into the bitumen by a moronic truck driver and I would be dead and buried in an unmarked grave.

Hinata squeezes the trigger and the bullet grazes the bullseye. "I hit it!" she squeals, putting the gun down and turning to face Neji. "Did you see that? I was so close! I bet I'll hit it completely next time!"

Neji inclines his head, the ghost of a smile on his face. "Keep going Hinata, you're almost there."

She beams up at me as she picks the gun up, gently easing herself into her stance. She's a picture of concentration, and I watch a bead of sweat caress its way down her neck, fascinated by the way it clings to the pale skin – then snap my eyes to her hands, keep an eye on her posture. She shoots, and this time she hits the target, dead centre. With a whoop of joy she places the gun down and wraps her arms around my middle, squeezing me in thanks, face buried in my chest. I feel something in my chest falter for a moment.

"Thank you so so much, Gaara," she whispers, quiet enough so that only I can hear. "I never learn anything that quickly. Thank you for your help."

"No problem," I force out, my mind having gone stupidly blank. I pat her back, uncertain of what exactly to do, but she seems to sense my discomfort and lets me go.

"You're a really good teacher," she says, turning away from me, the blush back and staining her cheeks. "Don't you think so Neji?"

I turn to Neji then, and note the scepticism in his eyes. "He did his job," he eventually says in reply, conceding nothing. "Go get changed, Hinata. I'll see you outside for lunch."

Hinata nods and heads to the bathroom while Neji proceeds to pack everything away. He's watching me warily, his eyes slits of suspicion, shoulders tense and jaw rigid.

"Do not mistake me, Sabaku," he says eventually, his voice venomous. "I am grateful for your help, and the confidence you give Hinata. But if you ever look at her that way again, I'll carve your eyes out of their sockets. Do you understand?" He glares at me, and if looks could kill I'd be dead fifty times over.

"Understood," I reply carefully, my face a blank slate, giving nothing away. I don't know exactly how I was apparently looking at Hinata, but evidently I won't be doing it again.

"Good. You're dismissed."

I turn and walk out of the training room and into the guard's room, flopping myself onto one of the hard mattresses. The next three days, fourteen hours and forty-seven minutes can't go by fast enough.

The next few chapters should get very interesting if I can pull them off! Also, I'm curious as to what everyone thinks about the little flashbacks at the beginning of chapters. Do you find them interesting? I hope you enjoyed this update, please consider leaving a review, hearing from you makes everything better. Have a wonderful day!

Lots of love,

Alia xoxo