Too quiet. Something must be wrong.
This thought lingered in Yi's mind since dinner. Like a few saturdays for some time, they would have pizza after Yasuo was done working in the evening. That part didn't change except that the latter was really silent during their meal. Even with politeness and not talking while eating, there were still plenty of occasions to chat but this time no. Yi could have dinned with Lily sitting on the other chair, it would have given a more interesting conversation.
It didn't even change after that. Yi had been washing the very few things used but again, as if to show nothing was fine, Yasuo hadn't stayed in the kitchen. This was what they usually did, when one was washing, the other stayed to keep company and chat. Obviously not. It didn't even count that it was saturday evening and that Yasuo would go out. Even when he did, he would stay a little in the kitchen and wait the end of Yi's task before getting ready to go out.
All this led to this moment, Yi getting ready for his movie night while the latter had long been gone. Really. Just a short goodbye then poof, gone. Himself never paid attention to this, it wasn't his place to be annoyed to see such lack of attention but Yi noticed the hurried departure. Well, this wouldn't ruin his evening.
The only matter was the reason for all this. He remembered from latest weekend and the beginning of the week, Yasuo had been rather quiet and gloomy. It looked like a relapse, in worse. Yi was too worried because last time was a bit his fault, even if he didn't know exactly how. Right now the latter was back on a similar silent mood, visibly sad about something and there was no explanation. So he guessed it was something from outside, that didn't concern them every day. Still, he wished to help and like everytime he thought about that, he had to remind himself it was too personal to ask.
A long sigh went while he carried his blanket to the couch. Lily was on her cat tree, deeming this interesting enough to watch closely the operations. Without a doubt she would join him in time, possibly when he would make his infusion because for her it was a window to get her treat.
It didn't miss. Yi paid attention as he took the direction of the kitchen and indeed she got down of the cat tree and rushed to arrive there before him.
« Hey, careful my lady. I don't want to hurt you. » Of course he was cautious when he saw her running on his path but even with that, Lily could be difficult to predict.
There he found her, sitting on Yasuo's chair and meowing with insistence. He indulged a little and pet her since she was at a good height for that. A bit of purring and Yi was happier already.
« Beautiful… But no, you know it's not sunday yet. Be patient. »
The sound Lily made when he walked away to make his infusion was heartbreaking. How could she seem so sad ? Unfair. Still, she followed him to ask more petting or possibly her favorite food. It wouldn't work but Yi was about to break.
« Alright, alright, since it's saturday, you'll have a small treat. But don't get used to it. » Kneeling on the floor, he petted Lily gently and a lot of affection went.
To make it count, Yi waited for his infusion to be ready and then to go back to the living room before giving her a treat. As soon as she saw him take the small packet, Lily got so enthusiast it could be heard, meowing urgently. Yes, soon.
Mug put on the table by the tv, Yi gave her a small treat and as quick she got so happy, enjoying it greatly. Meanwhile he put the other treats back in its storage, one was enough and if he kept it on the table Lily would try to snoop and steal some. Better take no risk. He didn't want his infusion to be knocked over.
Movie time. At his return, he found the cat comfortably sitting on the blanket, looking at him.
« Ah, sorry I'll have to move you a little. »
Another dangerous move but he did it, lifting Lily with the blanket until he could let her rest on his lap. She didn't seem so bothered, letting him do as he wished. Perfect. Now they could watch their movie in peace.
It seemed that every saturday night would give him a surprise. After maybe one hour, Yi heard some noise from the door of the flat, keys unlocking it. Already ?
So to say, he had good reasons to be surprised by Yasuo's return. So far he hadn't seen or heard him come back before midnight, this was a first. Even considering the fact that they had eaten rather late compared to every other day of the week, this was early.
There came Yasuo, tumbling a bit noisily in the flat. Just in case Yi put the movie on pause, to check if there was any issues. Especially because he remembered the latter's state before, so quiet. All this showed there was a matter, it was too many things changing at once. What happened ?
When the door was finally locked, Yasuo looked at him on accident and what he found there wasn't promising. Depressed wasn't the right word but obviously his friend had to deal with some crap and it showed. Now he averted his gaze, taking his shoes off.
« You're back early. Did you run into troubles ? »
Yi prefered to ask, in case it was really serious. At the moment he saw Yasuo join him in the living room to then sit on the couch. As quick he pulled the blanket so the latter could make himself at ease there. Oh wait, maybe he will want to sleep.
« Nah. Just didn't feel like staying too long. » Nothing too shocking, it would seem. Yasuo looked at the screen : « You can continue your movie, didn't mean to stop you. »
« Alright then. »
So he complied, resuming the movie where he left it. Really the mood was strange. Yi couldn't say if the latter had drank a lot or not at all, he seemed a bit inhibited which was rare. The only times he saw Yasuo like that was when he had troubles with his family so it didn't give much hope to find out what happened.
All this wouldn't help so Yi focused on the movie instead. Once over he would let Yasuo to his privacy, since for now he seemed to let him stay. Lily was sleeping on the other side of the couch, oblivious to the temporary noise.
For a time it went well, following the story happening. Yi could have completely forgotten the obvious issues but then something caught his attention. Curious he glanced at Yasuo and he didn't expect to see actual tears falling down his cheeks. As soon as he made a move, the latter noticed and hid partially his face with his hand but a sob escaped, betraying his situation. Oh…
« Yasuo ? What's wrong ? » There must be a matter, because the only time he remembered Yasuo crying, he wasn't even able to see it because it was at night, both gone to bed the first night he sheltered him. Worry came up, quickly.
On reflex he paused the movie to focus on the issue at hand, facing Yasuo.
« It's nothing, really. » Yet the tone was filled with tears too. He tried to face another direction, brushing everything off but it was impossible, soon it seemed to overwhelm him.
Quickly Yi came closer, making small contact to reassure and keep his attention at the same time : « Hey, it's alright. Tell me, what happened ? Are you hurt or anything ? »
Obviously it wasn't a physical wound but worry pushed to make sure of everything. Yi was a bit lost, he had never seen Yasuo like this, so open and vulnerable. It reminded him of the first day.
No reply, just a few muffled sobs while the latter made an attempt at calming everything. It failed.
« Please, I want to help. Is it about your family ? »
This was the only possibility because otherwise Yi knew nothing of his problems. This one was something he had heard about and the very reason he gave him a place to stay.
A reaction came and not once he would have been ready to see this. Yasuo looked at him, so frightened and greatly helpless. This was true. It involved his family drama. Yi's thoughts raced while he tried to soothe him as he could, gentle gestures. What could have happened ? They talked, maybe. This was very likely, to see him so low and bothered, knowing his state of distress about the topic.
Several times Yasuo looked like he wanted to say something but it was too painful. In vain. He burried his face in his hands, hiding as he could. Screaming truth and sadness.
So Yi did what felt right and took him in his arms, a sort of embrace to calm whatever hell of thought he was enduring. It was so worrying to feel Yasuo shake under the touch, crying lowly.
There was still a good side, he seemed to accept this and even came shyly closer, returning the hug. Then he was completely leaning against Yi's shoulder, more vulnerable than ever.
Please…
« I understand, this must be painful but I think talking will help you. If you want to. »
What could hurt him like this ? Yi was aware the wound was deep since it was the reason of Yasuo's presence in his life right now. More than ever he wanted to know what happened at the beginning. Even Yone couldn't tell him.
A good minute went, only punctuated by the few sobs and tightening in the embrace. Yi would give it as long as needed, this seemed important.
Then Yasuo spoke, voice shaking lightly : « I-I called them. »
« Who ? Your family ? » This was the more likely but Yi wanted to be sure. Innerly he was glad to hear him dare to speak. Maybe there was hope. In return he held Yasuo closer, to distract him from his problems.
A light nod, still felt in their embrace.
« Yeah. M-Mom. » If for a time the crying seemed to decrease now it came back.
Yi waited for this wave to end, rubbing his back gently. As long as it could help. Then it seemed enough for Yasuo to continue.
« I-I tried to apologize. I did…but it hurts… »
« It's alright. It's already good that you could apologize. » Indeed Yasuo couldn't have spoken to them for such time, this was the first contact and obviously it hurt him. Yi knew he regretted everything, this was good to know he could do it.
« No ! I hurt her again…I always hurt them… »
Could that be self-loathing ? Yi wasn't sure but it sounded more and more like he inflicted himself every blame that could be made. It even hurt to hear that. What happened ? He knew they had fought, Yasuo and Yone. But what led to this ? Yone talked about bullying. So this was something in the past, probably. Such a mess, nothing made sense without information.
« No, Yasuo. Don't. I know you have hurt them but you regret it. You're trying not to do it again, that's why you're here. »
Difficult to reassure him properly, Yi feared he might be wrong or miss something important. Yet this was true, Yasuo had left his home clearly with the intent to protect them and himself.
« I… » Weak, struggling to express something but it seemed to be too painful.
« Why are you here then ? Why did you leave ? » He tried to seem sure of himself, to be strong when Yasuo needed it.
« To protect them…They don't need me, I'm just a burden… »
For a time Yi was glad the latter couldn't see his face because his composure failed for a moment. This was so unfair for Yasuo, to believe and to say such a thing. It hurt.
« No, it's not true. You're not a burden, they care about you. Yone reached out for you, your mother reached out for you. They care. You'll never be a burden. »
Clinging to him, Yasuo broke again. The long cry of someone needing help. Yi kept him right there, trying to help as much as he could. But in a moment like this, despair was too clear.
What could cause such pain ?