Little by little that spike of sadness decreased. Of course it would linger for some time but there was a real effort from Yi to soothe him. Yasuo focused on that instead, hands still clinging to the fabric of Yi's shirt. He couldn't particularly help that, trembling even after that worst, it simply didn't end.

A burden. This wouldn't be erazed so easily.

« Shhhh… » Always there, still holding him through that.

At least Yi didn't push him to talk or anything, he was merely helping for a time. For this Yasuo was thankful. It was already hard enough to break in the latter's presence, no need to put more salt on the wound.

With time he got more distracted from his pain and sadness, thoughts empty as if it had ran dry like his tears. Not more to give this day, it was over at last. Thanks… It still helped to cry his feelings sometimes, even if it stung.

On the other hand, he became too aware of the situation he was in, which was to put it simply, hugging Yi tightly. There wasn't a single point of contact missed, what a move. And there he was, tears drying over his cheeks as he kept hiding against Yi's shoulder.

Ahhhh….

For real, couldn't he have a break ? If it wasn't his family drama then it was the constant reminder of a crush. To be fair, he asked nothing of it and merely accepted what Yi gave in this urgent time. At least Yasuo's guilt wouldn't be too harsh on him.

But still, it burned at the back of his mind now that he had ignored any bad thoughts about his family. The rush was over but he was left with the consequences. Yi holding him gently after witnessing his breakdown. It wasn't pretty to say the least. Shit.

Would Yasuo move from this ? Not yet. It was dumb but now he felt frozen right there, still touched by all that pent-up sadness but most of all hyperaware of their situation. Can't move… Too tense, too scared of having even for a time taken advantage of that, too emotional to think properly. To blame alcohol would be too easy, he barely had some and it didn't change much.

He will realize…

Soon Yi would put an end to this, it had to happen. Maybe once he realized it wasn't needed anymore. Was it ever ? To deny it would be a lie, Yasuo still appreciated the gesture but he acted on reflex under such pain. Not exactly touch-starved but certainly having not enough contact for some time. Yet he didn't want to fully admit the extent of such gesture, aware of his joke of feelings. Don't.

So he decided to move and retreat, since the episode of tears was over. A bit suddenly Yasuo rose, enough not to be in front contact anymore. It might have surprised Yi but it didn't show, still holding him despite the move.

Only when Yasuo moved away and returned to sit tensely over his previous spot did the latter get the message and parted too. Fuck. He wasn't good at planning his moves. Right then, Yasuo regretted a bit, surely this was too harsh. From now he averted his gaze, looking at his lap while ignoring the certain fluster from both the old outburst and his stupid move. Anyway, he already looked like shit, this wasn't going to change.

He felt it, Yi's gaze on him after the move. No idea what he thought about it because Yasuo didn't dare to look back. Instead, he grabbed a tissue and blew his nose, this was too much going on for a time. Then he stayed right there, like an idiot. Red eyes, dried tears over his face and stupidly dodging the latter's gaze. Maybe he helplessly thought Yi would give up and resume the movie as if nothing happpened in the last minutes. Maybe.

« It's alright. I know it's never fun to show a lot but I won't say anything. »

Probably he was acting like a child now it and showed. At least Yi was kind enough not to comment on this and instead calmed his fears.

« Thanks. » He couldn't say more, there was nothing in his mind and if he tried, he might fall again in some sad crap. Yasuo didn't want to risk it, fists closed and gaze stuck on his lap.

No other attempt from Yi came but there was still a move made. Yasuo didn't dare looking back, he didn't feel so good about seeming so vulnerable, even with a dear friend. He did react though when in fact Yi came closer and carried a sleepy Lily to put her on his lap. She was still curled into a ball, probably as she had been napping on the other side of the couch. Now here she was, left gently on Yasuo's lap as she looked around curiously. Oh….

It was too much for his heart, both because of the cute sight of a cat right there but also because of the intention. Yi did this on purpose, probably to cheer him up or give a distraction. Now he was petting Lily, either to keep her entertained and behaved or just to show him it was fine. So Yasuo followed and petted her too, still trying not to brush Yi's hand by accident. She's so cute…

No doubt it was quite the waking for the cat but she took it well and stretched before settling for good on Yasuo's lap. A sign that she was comfortable right there.

« Do you want to go to sleep ? I can go to my room. » Whispered close, since they were both busy petting this small lady looking far too satisfied with this situation.

No idea why it made him shiver slightly. Stop. There was no use. And it was already taking too long for a quick reply.

« Ah errr nah, it's fine. You can finish your movie. » So clumsy but really he was getting dragged from one hell to another topic, difficult to follow.

« Alright. » Again this was rather close. Yi gave a last time of affection to Lily then he returned to his spot, under the blanket.

The movie resumed, noise filling the living room and Yasuo got lost in his thoughts. Really, it could get weird how his need for contact played sometimes, finding any form of closeness strange then regretting it as soon as it ended. Why am I like this ? At least it worked in distracting him from all this crap happening since he woke up. By the way, it made him thing about it and as soon Yasuo smothered that, no need to cry twice in front of Yi.

Fuck….

Yasuo just wanted to lie down and pretend to be one with the couch. At least he wouldn't be judged for his emotions and weak crying. Eyes on the screen he still registered nothing of the movie. Inner sigh. What an evening.

Needless to say, when everything was over and Yi went to sleep after a warm goodnight, Yasuo couldn't stay up any longer and plainly collapsed in bed before falling asleep as quick. Not even time to think about his fears and sadness, crush and craving. Just sleep, dragging him with strenght.