Chapter 2- I'm Pregnant

"Any big plans for the night?" Elliot asks as he stands from his desk and pulls on his coat.

"Actually, I was hoping you would join me for a drink." On the other side of the desks Olivia stands and dons her own coat as well.

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"C'mon El, for old times' sake?"

"Fine, but I can only stay for one drink. I promised Kathy I'd be home in time for dinner, which was two hours ago." Since the reconciliation he has been trying to spend more time at home: dinners, bedtimes, homework. He tries to be home now for all of it, though he only seems to make it home for some of it. He tries, and Kathy can see that he is trying. Harder than he ever has before.

"Then I'm not keeping you from anything" At his hesitant look she continues. "I promise I won't keep you long."

The past few weeks have been difficult, despite their resolve to pretend nothing happened. Things have been awkward between them. Something that even Munch and Finn have picked up on, not to mention Cragen, but she's Benson and he's Stabler. It took a couple weeks, but eventually they found their rhythm. It was their resolve to be overly professional with each other that was the problem, and once it became too exhausting to maintain, things seemed to fall into place. The only problem is he can't stop himself from reliving it. As the days pass more of that night seems to come back to him. It seems like every time he closes his eyes he can hear her moans in his ears, feel her breath on his neck. He can even remember how soft her skin was as he caressed her. How wet she was when he was thrusting inside her. He remembers how tight she felt the first time she came around him. How is he supposed to pretend like he doesn't know? How is he supposed to pretend like he doesn't want to do it again?

Olivia slides on the stool beside him and he orders two beers for them. It's funny because this is how it all started. At another bar on another night. The squad had gone out to celebrate Munch's birthday. They had talked and laughed and joked and laughed some more. Drinks were shared. Shots were downed. Then slowly they had disappeared, one by one, until only he and Olivia were left. She'd swayed when she stood up to head home. Told him she was going to walk since her apartment was only a couple blocks away and she could use the fresh air. He'd offered to walk with her, not wanting her to walk home alone drunk. So he'd walked by her side and when they got to her building, he had wordlessly followed her upstairs. At her door, as she turned to thank him and bid him goodbye, he remembered thinking he had the prettiest fucking partner in the whole department and how much he wanted to kiss her, and how unfair it was that he was the only one that couldn't have her. The next thing he knew his lips were on hers and when she didn't pull away he kissed her harder. His tongue had slid into her mouth and her hand had slid into his pants and in that moment all he'd wanted was more. All he wanted was her.

So he had her.

"So how are things at home."

"Not too bad…uh. Kathy… lost the baby."

"I'm so sorry. When?"

"About a week after we reconciled."

"You never said anything."

"I didn't know how. It's not something you bring up in normal conversation."

"How's she taking it?"

"It was rough at first but she's doing well. We both are. It's been about a month now."

Their waitress comes over and deposits two mugs on the table. Elliot takes his and takes a sip.

"Well, that makes this even harder," she picks up her beer, thinks better of it then puts it back down.

"Makes what even harder?"

Olivia sighs. "Elliot, I'm pregnant."

Elliot chokes on his beer and coughs a few times to clear his throat. "Say what now?"

"I'm pregnant."

"And I'm the father?"

"Yes."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure?"

"Yes, Elliot," she answers, slightly perturbed. "It's… been awhile."

"What about that Porter guy?"

"We never slept together."

"What abo-"

"Elliot! It's yours," she says tersely. "I'm eight weeks along and the dates match. The baby's yours."

"How?"

"Don't you have four kids? Shouldn't you know how this works by now? We didn't use anything that night."

"I know how it happened, but aren't you on the pill or something?"

"No. I stopped taking it when I went under. Being on birth control didn't exactly fit my cover when everyone was convinced that it would sterilize the fish."

"Fish? What fish."

"Don't worry about it. But anyways, that's actually how I found out. I went to see my gynecologist to have an IUD placed and she had me take a test to be sure I wasn't pregnant and…I was."

"So what now?"

"I'm keeping it."

He rubs the back of his neck. "Olivia…Kathy and I just got back together. If I tell her this my marriage is over and I want my marriage to work this time."

"Elliot…I'm a lot closer to forty than I'd like to admit. This might be my only chance to have a baby. I'm sorry, but I can't give this up for you."

"I'm not saying you should have an abortion, Liv. I would never suggest that."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I can't be involved. I'm sorry."

Her eyes fill with tears and she nods. "I um…I have to go," she says with a shaky voice. She stands and puts her coat on.

"Olivia, wait," Elliot stands and puts some cash down to cover their beers and the tip for the waitress. "Let me drive you home."

"No, you can't be involved remember?"

"Yea, but I can still drive you home."

"That's ok. I'll be fine on my own."

Thanks for reading!