A/N: Thanks for sharing Rick and Erin's journey with me. I sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I would love to know what you think so please leave a review (no matter how long or short!). My dear Bluecrush, I thank you from the bottom of my Andy-loving heart. I never would have had the guts to walk in Rick's cowboy boots (or take them off!) if not for you. Your friendship means the world to me.
And now, I hope you enjoy the conclusion of my little romance with Rick Grimes …
Chapter Sixty-One
In the delivery room of Northside hospital's maternity unit, Erin's husband of fourteen months is encouraging her to breathe as another contraction seizes her body. Her tender gaze turns steely green in the blink of an eye as the rollercoaster of pain reaches another peak, eases over the top, and then blessedly falls away as gravity takes the helm. She inhales deeply to catch the breath that gets swept away about every seven minutes.
"You're doing great, sweetheart."
Relaxing back into the pillow, she eases her grip on the hand that seems never quite ready to let hers go. "So are you, honey. And so is Tori. We'll both be fine, I promise."
Rick nods his head to placate her but she still sees a wicked flicker of fear swimming in his eyes. "I know."
"Dr. Greene is going to have everything under control," she tells him, believing that statement to be true.
"But you know he doesn't believe us whenever we tell him what will happen."
Dr. Hershel Greene had taken their words with a huge grain of salt and said they are always prepared for these situations. He told them they were just overly nervous, which was usual for expecting parents, and assured them, in a slightly condescending tone, that everything was going to be just fine. She knew he was sincerely trying to ease their anxiety, but it had still been a bit frustrating, especially in Rick's eyes.
"He may not be convinced, but Hershel will have everything ready regardless. As soon as I start to hemorrhage, he will be able to stop it." Rick looks nauseous and pale and terrified. She hooks a hand behind his neck and pulls him down until the sweat of their foreheads is blending together. "It's going to be okay, honey."
"Why did I ever let you talk me into this?" he murmurs softly.
It may have been a rhetorical question but she'll do anything to soothe his anxiety. So she reminds him one more time… "Because our love is so strong that against all odds we created this little girl. She's going to be as smart as her daddy with his bright blue eyes, and just as stubborn. You know as well as I do that Tori was going to come no matter what we did, or didn't do. Miracles don't happen by mistake, Rick. They happen because they are supposed to. You just don't know it because you never see it coming. That's the little game that Fate likes to play with us."
He leans back slightly and presses his lips to her brow. "I love you, Red."
"I love you back, honey. Always."
"I just wish this was over."
"Me too. Oh God, me toooo…." she moans as her belly contracts with another teeth clenching pain. She is catching her breath once more when her friend Amy from administration steps into the room.
"How's it going in here?" Amy asks, running a hand through her long blonde hair.
"Oh just peachy," Erin replies with a tired but excited smile. "We're moving along pretty good now so Hershel is getting prepped."
"Yeah, I just saw Dale and he said that Tara and Eugene are setting up the delivery room."
"How is everyone doing down the hall?" Erin asks, caressing Rick's hand with a comforting touch as he sits at her hip, numbly listening to Amy's report.
"Daryl just got here and he said to tell you that the crib is all set and he'll finish putting the rocking chair together tonight. Glenn says good luck. He had to run back down to the kitchen because one of the ovens caught fire and T-Dog burned his arm. Your parent's plane was delayed so Aaron and Jesus are still at the airport waiting for them, but Kelly should be here soon with your mom, Rick. Ray is sitting in traffic on seventy-five so they decided just to meet him here."
"Great. Thanks, Amy." Erin gives her friend a smile, genuinely happy to be getting her frequent reports on the rest of their friends and family.
"No problem. Good luck in there. And don't worry, Rick. She's gonna be fine."
Three hours later, after a brief time where Dr. Greene had learned that their premonition was correct, she is fine. She is tired and sore but fully awake and extraordinarily happy.
The pain she'd endured was worth the picture before her now; Rick holding their darling baby girl as he serenades her with his special lullaby from Johnny Cash.
With the boundless love that Erin sees in his eyes as he gazes down at Tori, she knows that even Rick would agree it was a fair price to pay. Still, she feels awful for what she put him through. When she had started to hemorrhage, the sheer terror on her husband's face had hurt her more than any contraction ever could. Though they were expecting it, and had prepared the doctor for it, it was still extremely scary. For all her assurances to Rick about the wonders of modern medicine, even she'd felt a brief moment of panic when she'd suddenly become very cold. But using all of her strength to keep her eyelids from collapsing under their tremendous weight, she had held onto consciousness long enough to hear – over the pounding of her husband's heart and the shouting of his voice echoing off of the monitors – that everything was under control.
Back in their room now, she watches her husband and daughter, both enthralled with each other, as he sits in the chair beside her bed in the cramped space of the hospital room. An expression of unconditional love is aimed at the tiny pink bundle lying in his strong arms as he sings about a thing called love, the same song that she'd heard him sing to their little girl in a long ago dream, sitting on a plaid blanket by the big willow tree at his grandfather's cabin.
"You can't see it with your eyes,
hold it in your hands,
but like the wind it covers our land,
strong enough to rule the heart of any man
This thing called love.
"It can lift you up, never let you down,
take your world and turn it around,
ever since time nothing's ever been found
that's stronger than love."
She smiles warmly, very tired and extremely sore but incredibly happy as she looks at her family. Surrounded by the soothing melody of his voice, she closes her eyes as her soul sings along and her heart keeps the rhythm, beating strongly for the love of a man, the hope of a child, and the echo of a dream…
Epilogue
A dog barks from a nearby window as Erin follows the tricycle along the sidewalk that lines their quiet street. Rick squeezes her hand as she watches the strawberry-blonde ponytail swaying over the book-bag strapped securely to her daughter's back. The vinyl eyes of the yellow dinosaur wink at them, appearing and disappearing through the long curls rocking back and forth with every turn of the little white Sketchers. In a pair of overall shorts embroidered with purple dragonflies that match the tee shirt beneath the denim bib, as well as the lavender ribbon that circles her ponytail, Tori's skinny legs proudly pump the wheels of the miniature orange and black Harley Davidson Police Chopper, a gift from her Uncle Daryl on her third birthday. Headstrong but heartwarming, she didn't care so much about what she wore for her first day of kindergarten, so long as she was allowed to 'drive' to the bus stop.
She'd been eager to go from the moment she woke and was waiting at the door well before the necessary time of departure, which should have been a blessing, if Erin hadn't been dragging her feet so heavily toward this milestone. When they had registered for school, she had been as excited as her daughter. As a family, they'd had a lovely time shopping for the necessary supplies to fill her dinosaur backpack. Throughout the summer, kindergarten was the topic of discussion over many happy dinner tables. She had genuinely been looking forward to this day for weeks… until yesterday, when Erin realized that her little girl would no longer be waiting for her downstairs in the hospital's daycare center at the end of her part-time shift. The realization had hit her hard. Rick had teased her about it last night, but he had also tried to make her feel better, offering a foot massage while tucking Tori in bed with a favorite Dr. Seuss tongue-twister. He'd tenderly caressed her feet in his lap at the foot of the bed while she'd snuggled with their daughter against the pillows. She had stayed with Tori until she was deeply asleep – something she hadn't done in years, and then shuffled off to her own bed, where Rick continued the massage well above her feet, effectively taking her mind off of their too-quickly-growing child.
Now, she takes comfort from him still, a figure of strength in his sheriff's uniform. She clings to his hand, swallowing the lump in her throat as their baby girl swiftly glides into her future. She sniffles hard and Rick squeezes her hand.
"She's not going to the other side of the world," he says, his voice teasing but soothing all the same. "She's going across town to make you beautiful finger-paintings and macaroni necklaces between recess and naptime."
"I know, I just can't help it. It feels like we just had her yesterday and now look at her."
"Yup, she's all grown up now," he says, tugging at her hand. "Before you know it she'll be running off to college and then moving in with a boyfriend with more piercings than she'll ever have."
"That's not funny," she says despite a small grin for his efforts. "This is torture, and I don't want to even think about her leaving for college. It's been hard enough watching Carl go off to Georgia Tech for the last two years…"
"Which he loves."
"Thank God," she replies, sincerely grateful that her stepson is doing so well.
"He'll be moving in with Sophia soon enough," Rick says.
"Not before he finishes his engineering degree."
"Soon enough," he repeats as they continue in the wake of the trike.
"God, where does the time go? Wasn't Carl just in middle school?" The rhetorical question hangs on a spike of incredulity. "And this is our baby girl, Rick. She's so small and… and delicate…"
"Delicate?" His brows reach high into his forehead. "Are we talking about the same kid who climbed out of her crib every night at the age of fourteen months just to knock the baby monitor off the dresser again and again? Or do you mean the two year old who used to bite the ears of Daryl's Rottweiler?"
Erin cringes with a smirk at the memory of Tori rolling around the floor with Daryl Dixon's ferocious-looking dog, her tiny fingers poking into Samson's jowls as she nibbled on the tip of his ear. That big dog had the heart of a lion but the soul of a lamb when it came to their little girl. "You know what I mean, honey. She just seems so little to be going off on her own already."
"Okay, I know this is a small town," he responds. "But I'm quite certain that there are a few adults at the King Springs Elementary School. And I'm pretty sure they don't bring out the hard liquor until second grade, so the worst that she'll get is a good beer buzz." Against her will, his sarcasm makes Erin laugh, but she still swats at his teasing grin. "Come on, Red. She's gonna be fine."
"What if she hates it? What if the other kids are mean to her?" she asks quietly, feeling utterly helpless. "How am I supposed to protect her when she's so far away?" She watches Tori arrive at the corner and steer to a stop with the large front wheel resting in the grass. Two of the four kids already there – a five year old boy and his slightly older sister – walk over to the mini Harley with questioning fingers and excited expressions.
"She's gonna be fine, sweetheart," Rick says gently. "And so will you. Now there's the bus," he says as a long yellow school bus turns the corner at the far end of the street. "Just a quick goodbye, remember? Don't make a big deal."
"I won't, I'm good." She inhales deeply and squares her shoulders, bracing herself for the heart wrenching send-off. Crouching down, she pecks a quick kiss to Tori's forehead with a fiercely whispered I love you against her crown, and then backs away swiftly before the pain can blossom to an unbearable ache. Just like pulling off a band-aid. Tori moves to say goodbye to her Daddy and Erin is very proud of how brave their little girl is being, and a little disappointed at how easily her little one is able to say goodbye to them, as if she wasn't going to miss them at all. Okay, of course she's thrilled that her daughter is adjusting so well and it's totally irrational to want her child to be upset, but a small selfish part of her still can't help it, not when she desperately misses Tori already and she hasn't even gotten on the bus yet. At least these ridiculous feelings of disappointment soak up the tears that had been threatening to flow all morning.
She watches Rick drop to his knee and pull Tori in for a light kiss on her lips, followed by a wet raspberry on her neck; their usual morning ritual before he leaves for the station. His outfit may be the same, but this time it is not the aroma of toasted Eggo waffles drifting from the kitchen table that lingers in her nostrils, but the fresh scent of moisture clinging to the morning grass of the house that marks the bus stop for this section of the neighborhood. Their sweet exchange tugs at her heart and her throat thickens with emotion once more. She swallows hard as Tori climbs the steps of the bus. A strong arm circles her shoulders.
"I'm proud of you, Red."
She watches the strawberry-blonde ponytail bobbing down the aisle and then her sweet little face pops up in the window of the fourth row.
"Sweet baby Jesus, this sucks." Rick's voice breaks on an emotional wave as the yellow doors close with a screech. When the bus pulls away, Erin turns to see her husband wiping a knuckle beneath his eye. "What time does the bus come back?" he asks thickly.
"About 3:40," she replies, her voice full of compassion for his sudden state of misery.
"Jeez, that's a long day for a little kid."
"She'll be fine, honey. And so will you," she echoes, smiling through her own glassy-eyed vision.
"I'm never letting her go to college."
She rubs his arm with a comforting palm and then lifts the tricycle by the handlebar. "Come on, babe. I'll give you a nice foot massage." Looping her free arm through his, she turns them toward the pretty split-level house five doors down. The white trim could use a good power-washing but the red bricks are still warm and welcoming. "Let's go home."
A/N Thanks again for sticking with me through this adventure. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please look for more updates in the not too distant future, continuing this epic love story in "Echoes of Erin: Deleted Scenes and Other Lost Dreams".