This is probably my favorite chapter of the story (maybe that I've ever written. I don't know why) and its name sake. I hope you all enjoy and aren't too mad…
Chapter 8- Skisméno
Olivia looks up from the TV when the door opens and Michael walks into her apartment. "Hey," she smiles and kisses him when he leans down to brush his lips against hers.
"Hey, what's he doing up?" Michael asks and reaches for the baby in her arms. Olivia passes him willingly.
"He won't go down. I don't know where this surge of energy came from, but I don't like it. I was hoping the news would bore him to sleep, but no such luck."
Michael sits beside her and nestles the baby in his arms. "So, I wanted to talk to you."
"Ok. Talk about what."
"I got a job offer. At Hopkins. Chief of Pediatric Surgery."
"Wow, that's great, babe," she leans over and kisses him soundly on the mouth.
"Thanks. I've been on cloud nine since I got the offer. It's the job of all jobs."
"I'm so happy for you. You didn't even tell me you were applying."
"Well, I've been applying since we met in the hospital. It's a long process. You have to meet the outgoing chief of peds. The chief of surgery, the board, everyone who's anyone and they all have to love you. There's a lot of people to impress."
"But you did it. You impressed them all and now they want you."
"Yes, which means in a couple months I'll be moving, and I want you and Jacob to come with me."
"What? Michael…"
"Yes, I know. That's a big step, but Olivia, you and I? We're good together. I know we haven't been together long, but I like where we're going and I don't want to lose you. I mean, I can see us married in a year or two. Maybe another kid or two. I can adopt Jacob and we can be a real family. I want that for us. I want that with you."
Olivia stares at him in shock. "Wow. Can you give me some time? To think about this."
"Sure. Of course. I never expected you to decide tonight. It's a big decision to make. Take your time. Think it through. I'm going to go read to him, maybe that will help him sleep."
"Yea. Sure. Thanks," she says distractedly and watches as Michael stands and walks Jacob to his nursery.
xXx
Elliot walks into the squad room with Munch by his side and is surprised to see Finn with a baby on his lap. "Who's the kid?" he asks as he sits at his desk. Munch and Fin share looks of disbelief then stare at him with judgmental looks on their faces. "What?"
"It's Jacob, man," Fin answers.
"Jaco- Liv's baby?"
"Yes!" Fin says and shakes his head.
"Where's Mom?" Munch asks.
"In the office with the Cap."
"And she left you with the baby."
"I am his Godfather," Fin says as if it were obvious.
"Since when?"
"Since I called it."
"You can't just call Godfather," Munch chastises.
"But I did." Fin shrugs. "Liv said it was cool."
The door to Cragen's office opens and Olivia and the Captain walk through. "Olivia," Munch calls across the room. "You let this Putz be Godfather?"
"He called it," Olivia shrugs.
"Where was I when this happened?"
"Lunch?"
"I demand a do over."
"Can't have a do over," Fin shakes his head. "It's against the rules."
"What rules?"
As Fin and Munch continue to bicker Olivia walks up to Elliot's desk. "Meet me on the roof?" she whispers.
"Sure," he responds and follows her up the stairs. When they reach the top the brisk fall air whips around them. "How've you been? You look good, Liv."
She crosses her arms over her chest and tucks an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks."
"And Jacob looks good too."
"Thanks. He's…thriving," she can't help but smile.
"I can see. So what's up Liv?"
"About Maureen-"
"No need to apologize. She told me what happened and how she figured it out. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I know that. I just wanted you to know that we talked and she wants Jacob to grow up knowing she's his sister, and I agreed."
"Liv-"
She halts him with the raise of her hand. "I'm not having this discussion with you. I've already made up my mind. I just thought you should know. Besides that's not what I came up here to talk about."
"Then what did you come up here to talk about?"
"I've been seeing someone. A guy named Michael."
"Ok? And?"
"You might remember him from a few years back? The guy I kept cancelling on."
"You do that to guys all the time Liv, you gotta give me a little more than that."
"It's not important. Look, he's a doctor. A pediatric surgeon in fact and he was offered a job at Hopkins and he wants us to move there with him."
"Are you going to go?"
"Yes, that's why I'm here. I asked Cragen to help me start the paperwork for a transfer."
"You're leaving? Just like that."
"Why not? There's nothing here for me, Elliot. Michael's a great guy and we talked about us getting married and him adopting Jacob."
"Wait, adoption? You're giving away my son?"
"You don't want him, Elliot."
"Wait, when did I say that? I never said I didn't want to be his father. I said I can't be his father."
"It all sounds the same to me. Look, this is going to happen. Despite everything, you've been my partner for eight years and whether either of us like it or not, we have a child together. I wanted you to know that we're moving and I brought Jacob here to give you a chance to say goodbye."
"He's my son," Elliot grits out, his eyes red and bright with tears.
"Since when? You haven't been there for him. You haven't done one thing!"
"But what if he comes to me in the future? How do I explain to him that I just gave him away. That I just let you walk away and give my son to another man."
"He doesn't mean anything to you, Elliot. He spent 87 days in the NICU and you didn't visit him once! Not once!"
"That's not true! I was there when he was born."
"And then you left! He had surgery and your daughter held my hand for hours while we waited. Michael was there while we waited. Cragen and Finn and Munch were all there. Where were you?"
"I was here. Worried out of my mind that he wouldn't make it. Calling the nurses every thirty minutes for updates. Olivia, I never abandoned him. I called Daniela every day for 87 days to get updates on him. I lied to my wife so that I could spend nights with him. I rocked him. I read him stories. I did his 2am feedings. I didn't abandon him."
"What?"
"I love him. He's my son. Just because I can't openly claim him, doesn't mean I don't want him."
Olivia stares at him in shock. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I wasn't supposed to! I'm not supposed to be his father. I'm not supposed to be involved. But I can't…I can't just abandon him all together. Plus, Maureen knows. Thanks for that by the way," Elliot snarks.
"Don't put that on me. She figured it out. I never told her a thing."
"You didn't try to hide it either."
"How was I supposed to know all your kids had the same birthmark? You never told me! And you just said it wasn't my fault."
"I know what I said!" Elliot yells. He begins to pace back and forth.
Away and back.
Away and back.
"Don't you think you're jumping the gun here? I mean, who is this guy? Didn't you just start seeing him. Now you want to marry him and give him my son?!" he yells.
"You don't want your son!" she yells back. "No, I'm not planning on marrying Michael next week or even next year, but I want to make this work and I want a clean break. Us moving and starting over as a family is a chance for us to do that."
"And what if you two don't work out."
"Then we don't, but at least I'll never have to wonder 'what if'."
"You're not doing this! You're not taking my son. I have rights!"
"You're not even listed on his birth certificate. I looked into it and spoke with a lawyer, you have no rights."
"I'm his father!"
"You're his sperm donor! And now you have the same rights as one."
"You know I'm more than that!"
"Are you? You've made it clear where you stood."
"Olivia, please. Don't do this. Don't take him away from me."
"Why shouldn't I? If I stay, then what? Are you going to be involved? Are you going to be his father? Change some diapers. Take him to ball games. Teach him how to ride a bike. Are you going to be there for him?!"
"I don't know, Olivia."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't! I can't tell Kathy about him. She will never forgive me."
Olivia softens. As much as she may despise him at this point in time, she can't bring herself to not feel for him in his plight, but most of all she doesn't want to hurt Kathy and she doesn't want to hurt his kids. They didn't deserve this. None of them did. "Elliot… I can't have you in and out of his life as you please or as your wife allows. This is what's best for everyone involved. I can move on with Michael and you can be here, happy with Kathy. She'll never have to know."
"A piece of paper isn't going to change the fact that he has my blood running through his veins. He's my son Olivia, you can't just sign him away."
"I can't? I can't give him a father that's been there for him and wants him and wants to be in his life? But you can abandon him in every other way and still demand to be treated like his father? You can't have it both ways, Elliot. Either you're his father or not."
"I can't do it, Liv. Whether you believe it or not, I love him. I can't just let you sign him away. I won't do it."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that if this is what you're planning on doing then I'm hiring a lawyer and establishing my rights."
"Excuse me? Now? Now you want to be his father? You haven't even seen him in months!
"That doesn't matter. He's my son. He has my blood flowing through his veins and I'm going to fight for him. I'm sorry, Liv."
"Yea, me too."
xXx
"I mean can you believe him?!" Olivia rants as she paces back and forth in her bedroom. On the bed Michael watches her with lust filled eyes. His head, propped up on his arm as his eyes travel down her underwear clad body. Black lace accentuates her frame and he feels himself begin to harden at the thought of removing it. "'He can't do it. He's had all this time to make up his mind and now he wants to be a father? Wait, no, he doesn't. He just doesn't want you to be. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. That chauvinistic son of bitch. I can belie-" Olivia pauses and catches the way Michael eyes her with his teeth sunken into his lower lip. "Are you even listening to me?"
Michael's head snaps up. "Huh? Oh. Yes. Elliot is a son of bitch."
"Uh huh. What else did I say," she asks as she brings her hand to her hip.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. I don't know how you expect me to concentrate on anything when you're standing there. In that. C'mere," he reaches for her and she goes to him willingly and straddles his waist. She can feel him hard against her middle.
"I need you to listen to me."
"Babe," he says as he unhooks her bra and slides it down her arms. "I'm listening, but what do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me what to do," she moans when she feels his lips against her neck.
"Olivia, you're a smart, beautiful, sexy woman," he punctuates each affirmation with a kiss down her neck. He slides his hand inside her panties. "Who knows way more about this than you think," he whispers against her lips. His fingers slide inside her causing her to gasp. "What would you tell a woman in your position?"
She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close. She kisses him soundly on the mouth. "I'd tell her to shut up and worry about it later."
xXx
Elliot sits outside his house in his car in Queens. He watches Kathy through their kitchen window as she washes dishes in the sink. He remembers a time when they would do them together. She would wash and he would dry. They'd flirt and laugh while the kids entertained themselves. There was something intimate about it. It was a much simpler time and it was a few moments of romance shared between them. She laughs at something one of the kids has said. Probably Dickie. Neither he nor any of his daughters understand his rambunctious son's quirky sense of humor, but it amuses Kathy. Brings a light to her eyes and a smile to her face. He holds onto that smile because he knows it may be the last time he ever sees it. It all depends on what he decides.
On the seat beside him lays an envelope with papers he was served today. Olivia found a way to force his hand. She was officially taking him to court to establish paternity and then officially sever his parental rights. There's no way he can hide this from Kathy so now he must decide between his wife and his child.
Skisméno.
Torn.
He remembers coming across the word when he studied the story of Solomon. Supposedly the wisest man in the world, yet believed having over a hundred wives was a great idea, and as if that wasn't enough he still managed to fall for Bathsheba, a married woman, as she bathed late in the night. He watched her. Admired her. Desired her, much like he had Olivia. Solomon had Bathsheba the way he had Olivia, and just like in the story Olivia had wound up pregnant with his child. Suddenly Solomon found himself in a predicament much like the one he was in now. Torn between what was right and what was easy, for Bathsheba had a husband in the army. Fighting for his king. Solomon was wise, and he found a way to do away with Bathsheba's husband by putting him on the front lines.
His problem wasn't so easy to solve.
He loves his wife and he knows her. He's known her since he was seventeen years old, when she walked into his English class and sat in the seat in front of him. She had been by his side ever since. She had loved him through tours in the marines that kept him away for months at a time. She had built his home and bore his children and loved him when no one else would. She was a good wife. She was his wife, so he knows her. He knows her better than he knows himself and he knows that this will do more than hurt her. It will tear her apart inside. Knowing that he had been with another woman, and not just any woman.
Olivia.
For years she had accused him of being attracted to her. Of having feelings for her, and he had denied it. He had reassured her over and over again that he was in love with her and only her, and had only thought of Olivia in a professional way. He had lied. Because for years he had watched her. He had learned her. He had wanted her and then he had her and now they had Jacob.
Jacob.
There is no way he can explain away his feelings when Jacob is involved. He was the innocent one in all this. Born into a world of chaos and turmoil and forced to fight for his life in it. He'd done it. For 87 days he'd climb every hurdle and overcome every obstacle thrown in his way. He was strong. He was a Stabler. He was his son and he loves him more than he will ever be able to describe. What no one understands it that it kills him to be away from him everyday. It kills him to have to deny him when he has his eyes, and his chin, and his ears, and his mouth and now his smile. It kills him to have to keep his distance when his arms desperately ache to hold him.
Solomon hadn't gotten away scott free; the guilt had plagued him for weeks the same way it plagued him now. His child had paid the price of his parents' indiscretion the way Jacob almost had. Elliot guesses he'll be just as lucky as Solomon.
He still hasn't decided. He can sign the papers and everything will all go away quietly. Or he can tell his wife and watch his marriage crumble. He knows what his decision will ultimately have to be, but he hasn't yet come to terms with the pain of the sacrifice.
So he sits.
He watches.
And prays.