Merlin felt a cold hand on his cheek. He shivered, pulling away from the ice on his skin.

"I can touch you now, Emrys."

"Stay away," Merlin growled, though his voice was too quiet. Too unsure.

"I admit, I underestimated your power, but it is wearing thin now. Soon, I will be able to see you."

Merlin cringed as he felt the icy fingers trailing through his hair, but he was too tired to move away this time. His body trembled with every breath he took.

"You're exhausted. Just stop fighting me and the pain will stop."

Merlin laughed bitterly, the sound falling flat as if swallowed by the ravenous darkness. "So you can kill me?"

The fingers froze, then trailed down to the back of his neck. He felt a cold gust of wind brush past his hair and he shivered violently.

"You're worth so much more to me alive, Merlin," the woman purred.

Merlin's head spiked with pain as his magic lashed out with a mind of its own. Merlin cried out in pain as he fell over, his own power overwhelming him. He heard the woman yell in frustration, but at least those terrible, cold fingers weren't touching him anymore. He let that thought comfort him as he curled in on himself, waiting for the darkness to close in.

"Gods, Gaius. What was that?"

"It must be another nightmare."

"He was screaming. I thought—"

"His nose is bleeding again. Could you get me a handkerchief, sire?"

Merlin heard some rustling before he felt a soft cloth under his nose. He was still too tired to open his eyes and his head was throbbing.

"These nosebleeds… what do you make of them?" Merlin finally realized it was Arthur's voice.

"I'm not sure. My best guess is that he's fighting against whatever is invading his mind, but it causes severe mental strain." Merlin heard Gaius sigh next to him. "I think he's in a lot more pain than he's letting on."

Merlin wanted to argue, but he lacked the strength to even open his mouth. He could already feel himself slipping away. The voices around him faded in and out as he slipped away again.

…

The next time Merlin woke, pale sunlight was streaming in through the window and drenching his eyelids in light. He roused slowly, his eyelids heavy with fatigue and his head still pounding, although less than before. It took a couple of tries to sit up. His soreness and the aching in his head was becoming a worryingly familiar sensation, and as his mind cleared, Merlin figured that he had had another seizure.

Soon, I will be able to see you, the woman had said.

Merlin was running out of time.

With great effort, the warlock hoisted himself off his bed and made for the door. It was so quiet that he figured Gaius was out on his rounds, so when he burst through the door he was surprised to find both the physician and the king of Camelot leaning over a mound of large books. Arthur had fallen asleep and was now drooling on his own arm while Gaius looked like he was nodding off but fighting it. Merlin couldn't help but laugh at Arthur, whose mouth was still hanging open and his snores filled the quiet room.

Gaius's head snapped up at the sound of Merlin's barely stifled laughter, and the old man's expression lost some of its fatigue as his eyes softened with relief.

"Merlin! How are you feeling?" Gaius asked, practically springing up to scrutinize his ward more closely.

Arthur let out a loud snort as he jolted awake and Merlin's choked off laugh finally broke free.

"Better now, Gaius. Thanks," Merlin said, though his eyes were fixed on Arthur, who was indiscreetly wiping drool off of his face.

Arthur cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable under Merlin's gaze. "What?" he asked incredulously, as if he didn't know.

"Oh, nothing. What are you doing here, anyways?" Merlin asked, dodging the subject.

"I, uh—we were researching."

Merlin felt his eyebrows rise as he sat slowly on the bench, mindful of his ever-present soreness. "Yeah? Find anything interesting?"

Arthur grunted. "You'd be amazed at the sheer number of mythical creatures that have been written about. And you decided to get attacked by one that is impossible to find."

Merlin scoffed. "I hardly decided anything. How is any of this my fault?"

"You attract this sort of thing, Merlin. You're an anomaly." Merlin raised an eyebrow at that and Arthur rolled his eyes. "And yes, that's an insult."

"Right. And still, you've never really fathomed me out."

"There's nothing to fathom, Merlin. You shovel horse dung for a living."

"I do much more than that—"

"As much as I love to hear such relentless arguing so early in the morning, can I ask you both to please be silent?"

Merlin's mouth fell closed as he saw the tortured look on his guardian's face. The old physician looked entirely spent after days of endless researching that, according to Arthur, had gotten nowhere. Merlin felt a stab of guilt rising in his chest and he attempted to swallow it down. Arthur also ducked his head shamefully.

"Sorry Gaius," Merlin whispered.

Gaius smiled softly. "It's alright, my boy."

Merlin sighed, feeling anything but alright. His condition was putting a strain on the people he loved and made them worry. Even Arthur was sacrificing his duty as king to do research. For Merlin. Everything about this situation was backwards.

Merlin reached out for Gaius's withered hand and held it gently, as if he might shatter from contact. "Please get some rest, Gaius. You're running yourself into the ground."

Gaius patted Merlin's hand reassuringly. "Don't worry about me, Merlin. I have to—"

"I always worry about you, especially now. Please, you're no good to anyone if you make yourself unwell."

The physician sighed, and his eyes drooped. The corners of his eyes crinkled with his small, grateful smile. "Alright, just a few hours. But wake me if you need anything. Anything at all."

Merlin nodded. "Of course."

The warlock watched as Gaius retreated to his cot, where hopefully he would be resting for the next couple of hours. Arthur had returned his gaze to the book he was holding, probably in an attempt to give them a bit of privacy. It was a small gesture, but Merlin appreciated it all the same.

"Thanks," Merlin said.

Arthur looked up. "For what?"

"For being there for him last night," Merlin said with a shrug. "And for—you know—being there for me. That's the second time I've put you through that."

Arthur shut his book with more force than necessary. "You haven't put me through anything. It was whatever that thing is that's been hurting you. None of this is your fault."

Merlin turned his gaze away and faced the window, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm still sorry."

"Dammit, Merlin. Why can't you ever care about yourself?"

Merlin blinked as his thoughts suddenly left him, as if they had been sucked right out.

"You're important to a lot of people, even if you don't realize it," Arthur whispered.

Merlin could feel Arthur's gaze on him, but he couldn't meet it. He couldn't tell Arthur that his own life served only one purpose, and that was to protect him.

Arthur stood slowly, as if he was considering whether or not he should stay.

"I have to go, but I'll be back later tonight. If you try to come to work today, I'll end you myself."

Merlin mirrored Arthur's smirk as he watched the king walk out. The warlock spent the next few hours reading through the pile of books and listening to the reassuring sound of Gaius's light snoring. But it didn't take long for him to become frustrated, as the research was still getting nowhere and he could feel the overwhelming urge to simply seek the creature out.

After all, he was still a powerful warlock and could physically defend himself. He would just have to be extra cautious, since this woman had her talons sunk deep into his mind.

Merlin sighed deeply, turning his head towards Gaius, who was still snoring peacefully. He knew that Gaius would be angry at him for blindly seeking this woman out without first knowing what exactly she was, but Merlin had decided that enough was enough. Nodding with finality, Merlin pulled out a piece of parchment and scribbled down a brief note:

Gaius,

I'm taking a walk to the lower town to clear my head. I'll be back by sundown.

~M

Merlin figured that he could eliminate this threat by sundown. He could sense the woman's presence and she wasn't terribly far. If he was quick and careful, he could sneak up on her, figure out how to deal with her and get out. Simple.

As Merlin eased the door closed, he gazed fondly at his surrogate father before sprinting off down the stairwell.