Chapter Eighteen
Kate
I stared blindly out of my open office door, barely seeing the movement of men as they shifted desks, chairs, general office equipment, and IT paraphernalia to match my plans, blown up and printed on A3 and taped to one of the glass walls.
The sudden absence of an unnoticed sound pulled my eyes down to my laptop in front of me. It's black screen staring back at me. A testing wriggle of my finger across the track pad produced no response and I realised it was the sound of it's fan turning off that had pulled at my attention.
I had so little interaction with the machine that it had not only dimmed it's screen, but rolled through the power saving processes of screen off, sleep, and finally shut down to preserve it's meager energy levels.
I felt like I was halfway through the same steps myself.
It was Friday and I should have been celebrating my first week completed in my new job. It had been a roaring success, and even with my impromptu day off yesterday, I still had gotten a lot of shit sorted and making plenty of headway into getting this office up and running. It wouldn't be too long before HR in Seattle send through the final job advertisements for the Tribe for my final sign off, then it would be on to the interview process next.
My mind flashed from the work ahead to the past few days. Like a film I couldn't turn off it recalled all the horror and wonder in bullet like flashes that made my head reel. It was sudden and violent in it's presentation I couldn't help my heart rate kick up as a tiny squirt of adrenaline made its presence known around my body.
It was jarring and I was struggling to process all that had happened and the aftermath with the mundane of real life.
Well, I guess it's all my life now.
I huffed a breath out and rubbed my trembling hands down my face and placed them on the desk to ride out the residual shakes. I felt like I was in a bubble in some moments, the world around me muted in sound and colour, hours bypassing me unknowingly, when other times I felt like I was in an action movie. Everything seemed too bright, loud, and overwhelming and I found myself jumpy and nervous and feeling like a junky on a downer.
And that's before the guys popped up in my mind.
I sighed again. It was such a head fuck. I would have scoffed at their declaration that I was the soulmate for a bunch of were- no, shapeshifting men if I hadn't been there myself. I honestly didn't know what was freaking me out more, the idea that the stuff from horror movies were actually true, or that I was intrinsically bound to these strangers. Having experienced this Imprinting thing first hand, multiple times, I knew it was absolutely true and I couldn't wrap my head around how I had accepted it so quickly. I was freaking out because I wasn't freaked out. How fucked up was that?
"Hey, we're ready if you are?"
I jumped in my seat, wincing at the pull in my side, as a voice and a tap at the doorway pulled my eyes up from where they were still glued to my hands. I'd lost track of time again which was disconcerting and that bubble had morphed into that overwhelming feeling as the world came rushing back in again. I looked around to get my bearings taking a moment to remember who this man was in front of me and what he was on about.
"What time is it?" I asked in a feeble attempt to get my brain working.
"Just after half twelve. We were going to get your office sorted then pack up for lunch if that's OK?"
Office. Right. He was here to sort my office out. I looked around and mentally tallied what they were going to do. It would be a while and I didn't know if I could manage to hang around in the main office with the rest of the team in my current state.
"Um… OK, I'm going to head out for lunch. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but if you check yourselves back in with security when you are finished…" I trailed off, it was an unnecessary instruction but my mind was still booting up. "Do you need my laptop?" I asked.
"No, we're good, just give us a shout if the docking station doesn't work." He replied. I still couldn't pin his name down.
"Right, OK. Thanks." I stood and wiped my hands down my hips. Physical motion was good, it gave me something to focus on. I gathered up my laptop and stole it away it's carry case before gathering up my coat and handbag from under the desk. I gave the chap a tight smile as he stepped back and I slipped passed him in the doorway and made my way to the lift bank, gently shouldering my two bags as I walked, still mindful of the pulling of my stitches.
I was in no mood to work today. My attention span was fractured and I was struggling to process just… everything from the past few days. Well, everything from the past couple of months really. The swing of memories from my old life in London with Richard, my new job and how it came about, Marc and Brian and their revelations, coupled with the supernatural world I had been violently thrown into… I needed… I needed…
I darted into the empty lift as its doors opened and grabbed hold of the handle bar at the back to steady myself as I sucked shaky lungful of stale office air in my dry mouth. I fought down the sudden urge to scream and gripped the bar harder to stop myself from just sinking to the floor. I heard the quiet mental scrapings of the doors closing behind me and I closed my eyes in the relative peace I found myself in. I practiced a few more controlled in and exhales before turning to jab at the lift panel for the parking garage level.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself. I was firing on empty and the call to go home and sleep off the rest of the day, week, hell, the rest of the year was a tempting prospect. However I hesitated at the thought. After spending the rest of Wednesday night and all of Thursday being fully introduced to the world of the supernatural, I knew someone from the Pack would be at my door as soon as I drove onto the Reservation. They told me it was a need, the contact required for both sides of the Imprint and I knew what they were saying was true. I could feel the yearning for that contact, how it eased the weirdness from the situation. But, right now, this distance was giving me some clarity to think. I could see how strange this all was; to be tied to complete strangers by a deity or belief system I didn't understand or believe in. This distance, it was a little sliver of reality that I was determined to hold on for as long as possible so I could get my feet back under me.
The fact is, I had yet to meet the rest of the Pack, and the assumption I was an Imprint to the rest of them as well was like a ticking time bomb over my head. I didn't think I could handle it right now.
My stomach gave a rumble of protest and I found my distraction and delay from going straight home. Lunch. I hadn't eaten much the past couple of days much to the guy's worry, (who could blame me) but right now, I was going to use this excuse to delay when the wolves descend on me.
I stepped out of the lift into the underground parking garage. The change from the bright lights in the lift to the relative darkness of the garage was disorientating and I took a moment to let my eyes adjust. It hadn't been a problem the rest of the week but my heightened state of nerves meant everything had taken on a surreal feel. I gave myself a mental shake and took off towards my car trying to get my head back into the game, even if it was to just make the simple decision on what to do for lunch.
Reaching the Merc, I tossed my coat and laptop bag into the boot then made my way out to the street up the pedestrian walkway. It was overcast but warm so I let my feet take me on a walk to try and burn off some residual energy that was threatening to trip over into an all out panic attack.
A little while later I came across a small café and headed inside. It wasn't busy and the smell of brewing coffee and gentle sounds of an easy listening radio washed over me as the door closed behind me. It settled my nerves a little and allowed me a moment to breath in the normalcy of the moment. I placed my order and settled myself in a small corner booth by the window and I rested my chin on my hand as I idly watched the world pass by out the window as my thoughts raced.
This was my problem. I couldn't reconcile that the world was still blithely turning on as my life felt like it was imploding around me. My eyes skittered over people who crossed my view and I wondered if any of them knew what else was out there. Were they part of the supernatural world too? Walking among us unseen? Was that tall man over there a vampire? Did goblins exist? Was Bigfoot going to break into my house and kill me in my sleep?
I closed my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek, the pain focusing my attention from my rapidly spiraling thoughts. Whereas sarcastic humour would be my default response to such ideas, reality had given me such a boot up the backside this week I couldn't help but feel fear at the thoughts rather than scoffing at their ridiculousness.
"Bigfoot is a myth."
I practically choked on my own spit as my head whipped off my fist to face the person who had spoken. Another surge of adrenaline flooded my system and I gripped the table with both hands as it made my vision stutter with the onslaught.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Can I join you?"
I blinked furiously to clear my vision, honing in on the sight of Edward Cullen standing a polite distance from the table. He gestured to the seat opposite me and I found my head nodding a yes as my ingrained manners kicked in without my permission. He slipped into the seat, eyes still focusing on my face as a frown marred his features.
"Are you all right?" He asked with such genuine concern I actually laughed.
"No." I blurted out. I mean, how could I be?
"I guess it's a lot to take in." He shifted in his seat slightly and I recalled the fact Sam had mentioned about the way they acted human. It was a veneer to blend into this world. I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably as I vividly remembered their warning.
"They're not human, Kate. Don't ever let them make you forget that."
Edward's face remain passive. I wasn't sure if he could still hear me so I mentally pictured closing a vault door on him, hoping the visual would ensure privacy to my thoughts.
His frown returned and I knew I had him then.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I was in town and came across your scent. I wanted to say hello and see if you were OK after everything…" He trailed off as I stiffened in my seat.
"You followed my scent?" I whispered, knowing it was true. The idea he had followed using my scent freaked me out for some reason, even though I knew both Vampires and Wolves had incredible senses. It was another reminder of the world I had been thrown into.
Edward nodded as his eyes roamed my face.
"You're scared." He stated lowly. All pretense of normal conversation gone, cutting down to the bones.
"Ya think?" I replied, anger making a poke at my speech before I could contain it. I took in a deep breath and let my eyes and shoulders fall. "Sorry. It's been a shit week." I offered up the apology quietly.
"Understandable." He shifted again, picking up a sugar packet from the container on the table by the window.
"So, I gather the Pack have explained everything to you?" He hedged as he twisted the sugar packet between long fingers. It was almost mesmerising in the fluidity which he performed the simple task that my mind snagged a little and it took me longer than normal to process his question.
"Yeah, well, I assume so." I replied, dragging my eyes up to his face. His brows furrowed again and he placed the distraction back in the container before folding his hands on the table.
"Well, in that case, it's only fair that my family has the chance to give you our side of the story."
"Defensive much?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "What do you think they've said that needs you to correct?"
He stayed quiet as the man from the counter arrived with my hot chocolate and turkey sandwich, and returned back to the till area again.
"No doubt they have mentioned we are mortal enemies, multiple times. They would be correct, however we are not like others of our kind-"
"Yeah, so I've heard. Vegetarian I'm told." I gave an eye roll remembering Paul's overabundant use of finger quotes every time he mentioned it. It seems it's a nervous tic of his when stressed out. Edward chuckled at that, and it lighten the mood somewhat.
"Yes, it started out as a joke, but gained a life of its own." He shifted his hands into his lap, again distracting me with the movement.
"You should eat." He nodded towards my lunch. Truth be told, my appetite had vanished the moment I set eyes on him. Plus it was kind of strange eating in front of a predator.
"I won't harm you Kate. I promise you." He raised his chin again to my plate. I huffed a sigh and made to pick up my sandwich.
"Are you reading my mind?" I asked as I took a small bite. Maybe if I could get him talking it wouldn't be so strange.
"It's… you're like a poorly tuned radio right now. I'm getting the odd thought but then it vanishes. Are you actively thinking of blocking me?" He asked with genuine interest. I swallowed my bite before replying.
"Erm, I guess. Every time I remember you can read minds, I think that's when it happens. In fact, when you walked in here and first spoke, I imagined I was closing you off from me behind a vault door. Did it work?"
"It did. You were thinking about goblins and bigfoot when you cut me off. It's since been coming back in spurts."
"The guys… the Pack told me you couldn't read, or hear, your wife's mind when she was human?" I asked. I took a bigger bite of my lunch as my hunger came back online.
"That's right. Since she became like me, she's been able to control it, much like you can. She has… other… abilities linked to her shield, but in respect of me being able to read her mind, she can turn it on and off at will."
"Does she also...flicker… like I'm doing?"
"No. Her control is impeccable now. It the early days it took a lot of effort for her to work her shield to allow me 'in', as it were. Now it's second nature. I think with practice you could work on your control."
"Hmmm… " I trailed off. Other than stopping Edward from reading my thoughts, I didn't think it was worth worrying about. There might be other, normal humans out there with the same abilities, but not aware of it because they never encountered the supernatural. Jesus, just thinking that is weird.
"I try and give people privacy where I can. Most times thoughts just blend into the background, like white noise I suppose."
"I guess you just heard me?" I smiled.
"Yes, sorry." He laughed softly before turning a little serious. "I'm actually a little worried."
"Oh?" I picked up my hot chocolate, blowing on it before taking a sip.
"Yes. I know we haven't been around each other much, but usually someone's thought patterns are pretty consistent. Over the years I've been able to pin down how someone's mind processes information simply by how their mind sounds to me. Usually within the first few seconds of meeting them. Yours has changed since Wednesday." He frowned at me again, and I set my cup back down.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"Well, apart from the frequent dropping of your guard, something which only happen when you were sedated or asleep on Wednesday. Your thoughts are… jumbled. Words are out of order, almost like your mind is slurring. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it I'm afraid."
"Well, I don't think I'm slurring my internal speech." I wasn't was I? No, I don't think so.
"Just now, it came across as something like, 'No wasn't, don't'".
"I actually thought 'I wasn't was I? No, I don't think so'. Why do you think it's like that? I mean, does it even matter if I'm speaking out loud OK?
This was a weird conversation, and I wasn't sure why were were having it.
"I'm just worried as the last time I came across something like this, the person in question had suffered some brain damage from a blow to the head." He raised an eyebrow at me in question, and I sat back in my seat. OK, so that's a pretty cool thing, being able to diagnose someone like that. But holy hell, talk about adding stress to my plate.
"Err… I mean, I banged my head on the tree I was pushed into by that… thing… but other than a little goose egg, it wasn't the top of my injury list." I picked up my drink again.
"Did you mention it to Carlisle at the time?" He prodded. His tone slightly patronising and I fought the urge to make a sarcastic reply.
He laughed at me then. "No need to fight it, I just heard it." He chuckled as he tapped his head. I tutted at him.
"Alright Dad. No, I don't think I did. I feel fine."
"Do you really feel fine?" He asked, leaning forward, a little cocksure of himself, smirk twisting his mouth in a lopsided manner. It eased off a little as he raised his hand from his lap and, moving slow as to give me a moment to prepare myself, cupped my hand resting next to my empty plate. I felt my thumb twitch with the coolness of his hand but held myself steady. I watch as his eyes fixed to our clasped hands, waiting for him to say something as his frown deepened.
"Have you taken the antibiotics that Carlisle brought you yesterday?" He asked quietly.
"Yes, I took one yesterday about 4pm when he came around, and the second dose this morning. Why?"
"Hmmm… your temperature is slightly up. I wonder…" He trailed off for a second before refocusing on my face. "I'm not sure if it's related to why your thought patterns are 'off', I wonder if you have developed an infection from the injury which is affecting your mind as it's fighting it. Confusion is a byproduct of onset infection."
"But my speech is fine." I added.
"True, but maybe it's the internal speech that goes first before it manifests itself outwards."
"OK, Doctor Cullen." I snarked at him in good humour, still amazed at the benefits to his mind reading abilities. "What's the next step?"
"Well, although I have been to medical school a number of times, I think we should still defer to the actual Doctor Cullen before going any further." He smirked as he slowly withdrew his hand from mine before reaching into his inner jacket pocket and pulling out a sleek, high end mobile phone. He pressed a few times on the screen before bringing the device to his ear, and standing up to take the call outside..
I sat back in my booth as I watched him out the window mulling over the strange turn of events. The Pack's warning were still ringing in my ears, and the vision of the black haired vampire was forever going to leap out at me in my mind, so it's not like I could ignore them. But, having spent this past fifteen minutes just talking with Edward, I was feeling slightly more at ease at being close to them. Maybe prolonged exposure was the key to it.
I huffed a small laugh at myself, no doubt the Pack would have something to say about it. As much as I believed their caution was warranted, oh Christ was it warranted, I couldn't help but be put at ease with both Carlisle and Edward.
I was brought out of my musings by Edward sliding back into the booth, brows furrowing again as his eyes roamed my face.
"Are my radio signals still scrambled?" I joked, knocking back the dregs of my now cold drink.
"Yes." He replied flatly. I paused halfway to lowering my cup back down. "Are you busy at work this afternoon? Are you able to get someone to cover for you?" He asked seriously.
"Em, no need. I was actually planning to go home after lunch. Why?" He was starting to worry me with the turn of his mood.
"It may be nothing but I would like you to see Carlisle again this afternoon, as soon as possible."
"If it's an infection you are worried about, surely we need to give the antibiotics a little more time to work. As I said, I've only had two doses so far. I was going to take the third when I got home."
He shook his head slightly. "The fact is, I'm just be overly caution, and Carlisle is too. It might be nothing and I'm connecting dots that aren't there, but there's no harm in getting you checked out. Please, it would put my mind at ease."
"Well, OK. Where is Carlisle?" I asked, making moves to leave. I pulled a few smaller bills out of my purse and left them on the table. That was something I needed to look up; the American tipping culture.
"He's at our home, in Forks, at the moment. We're here on vacation, visiting family." He ushered me out of the café, solicitously holding the door open for me then applying a hand to my lower back to direct me down the street.
"Family… Oh, right yeah, Sam mentioned that Bella's father is Sue's husband?"
"Charlie, yes." He guided me across a road junction as I racked my brains.
"Is Renessme with you?" I stuttered over the pronunciation. The Pack had referred to her as Nessie or Ness, or Half breed (which sounded a little rude to my ear) and I hadn't quite grasped her full name.
"Renesmee." A dark look crossed his face, I assume at the Half Breed comment in my head and I sent him a little apology which me gave me a little nod for. "No, she's with her grandmother and aunts in Europe right now."
"And she's Jacob's first Imprint?" I asked, purely to get his take on it. I was starting to realise that maybe getting his family's take on everything might actually be kinda helpful for me.
"That's right." I saw a tic in his jaw and he clammed up. Okay. Clearly a touchy subject.
"Sorry, it's just hard to explain everything, there's a lot of history there." He avoided my gaze as we crossed a final road and turned a corner into the parking lot of Equinox's building.
"Where are you parked?" I enquired.
"My car is over a few blocked, I will collect it later. I would like to drive you if that's acceptable?" He stopped in front of my Merc.
"What is it with everyone wanting to drive my car?" I joked as I fished the keys out of my bag.
He chuckled. "It's a lovely vehicle." His tone turned serious again. "I also just want to be cautious with you driving right now.
OK, he was starting to freak me out a little.
"I drove here fine this morning." I stated a little abruptly. My fear morphed my attitude towards being a little bratty.
"Personality changes is also a sign of onset infection". He stated as he opened the passenger door. I pursed my lips at him and climbed in, ignoring his slight victory grin as he closed the door and moved round to the drivers side, hopping in quickly.
"In all seriousness Kate, I'm just being over protective." His eyes washed over me quietly to the point I started to feel a little awkward under his stare. "You remind me of someone…" He trailed off again, still watching me. I couldn't help but squirm in my seat and it broke his gaze.
"Who?" I couldn't help but ask. He just huffed, shaking his head as he started the car, before pulling out out of the space and then out of the lot.
We were mostly silent as we left PA. I wanted to ask Edward questions, let him have his say as it were, but my first meal of the day was slowly sending me into a minor food coma and the scenery whipping by outside the car was not letting my mind focus enough to think of questions to ask, let alone process any answers he might give me.
It felt like no time had passed when we were turning off a heavily tree lined back road, and down a stone packed driveway. It twisted and turned before opening up to an expansive and well maintained lawn, shaded by an equally expansive and well maintained house. It was huge, angular and wood clad and not quite what I was expecting.
"Sorry, no crypts or moats here…" He trailed off and I turned to look at him, wondering why cut himself off, but before I could think more, my door was pulled open to reveal a smiling Dr. Cullen, hand out in greeting.
"Hello Kate, lovely to see you again." I threw him a smile as I took the proffered limb. He helped me out of the car and I was struck by how both of them were very courteous in their mannerisms. I guess it was their age showing.
"I didn't have much of a choice." I tossed my head to Edward who had now rounded the car towards us, and rolled my eyes in humour. "He laid on the guilt a little thick. I don't think I had much of a choice."
I stepped away from the Merc and Edward pushed the door shut behind me.
"Well, he, we, both mean well, and I think he has reasonable cause." Carlisle gestured for me to proceed and he dropped my hand, hovering behind my back to guide me to the door. "Your temperature does seem a little high."
"You can tell just by touch?" I glanced over to him before we reached the steps to the front door.
"I could give you the exact temperature by touch alone if you like."
I raised an eyebrow at that, marveling at their diagnostic skills. I turned to Edward to my other side, and he just grinned back.
"Oh, I haven't mastered that particular party trick, just Carlisle."
"OK," I turned back to the Doc, "Go." He took my hand again and we paused as we made it to the open door.
"100.3." He declared. I didn't say anything, only to gesture myself this time into the house. He pulled me inside and all thoughts of temperatures vanished as I stood in the most beautiful house I'd ever seen.
"Oh. Wow." I muttered. I quickly removed my shoes, feeling like I was sullying the place even in my clean socks.
"Esme, my wife. She's has wonderful taste." Carlisle added, pride clear in his tone.
"I'd say." I replied, looking everywhere and anywhere at once. It was like stepping into a magazine, but still didn't feel too sterile with magazines and books on the over sized sofas and what looked like an Xbox or Playstation under the TV, DVD or game cases piled haphazardly next to the console.
"We'll take you on a grand tour later, I want to check you over first." Carlisle dragged my attention back his way and I nodded and followed him down a hallway that branched off from under the staircase. Soon he was motioning me to enter a room and closed the door behind himself once we were both inside.
"Edward…?" I asked, not realising he had left us.
"He's gone back out. To hunt." He eyeballed me as he said the last, clearly awaiting my reaction. I wasn't sure what to take on it.
"Oh." I shrugged my shoulders. I was still slightly nervous around them, and had to bite my tongue to stop myself making some lame joke. Something about venison and a la carte menu bounded around my brain but I resisted the urge.
"He wanted to give us privacy. Are you OK with me examining you here?" He asked.
I took a closer look around the room, startled to realise that it was like some kind of posh medical room. I spotted a few bench top diagnostic instruments that I recognised, and an examination bed against the far wall and a desk by a large window wall which was framed by floor to ceiling bookshelves, full of medical texts from what I could work out from the spines.
"Oh, yeah, sure. Although the window…?" I wasn't overly embarrassed to be in my skivvies for a Doctor, but didn't exactly want any passing person, vampire or the local wildlife having a butchers. The Doc just smiled and moved to the desk, he pressed something I didn't see and some blinds quietly lowered to the floor.
"Thank you. Where do you want me?" Down to business, I flung an arm out in the general direction of the bed.
"Temperature first." He opened a draw unit at the foot of the table and pulled out a digital thermometer and patted the bed for me to hop on to. I complied and he clipped in a disposable tip and stuck the end in my ear. It beeped after a few seconds.
"100.3". He pronounced, with an exaggerated flourish as he disposed of the tip and set the device on the counter.
"OK, that's just showing off." I couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Yes, it is. I don't get the opportunity to do it in my work, so I take what I can." He turned back and asked me to lift my top to check my side. I couldn't see it unless I had a mirror.
"Is it OK? It looked OK this morning." I told him as I held my shirt, avoiding raising my arm too much as the stitches still hurt when they pulled.
"Hmm… it's inflamed. You have an infection, my dear." He continued to prod at my side, and I turned my attention to the room again. "I'm confident I removed all the debris, but I would like to remove the sutures and reclean the wound just in case." He stepped back and raised his eyes to mine. "I'm going to provide additional, strong antibiotics and pain medication for after. I will numb the area before I start."
I nodded my assent, and watched as he turned back to the preparation area and pulled open various drawers and cabinets, before handing me a hospital gown.
"You can keep your pants on, it's just to save your shirt and bra from staining."
"OK." I took it and started unbuttoning my shirt and Carlisle graciously turned back to the prep area, pulling various things to him as I got myself undressed and gowned up. "Ready when you are, Doc." I folded my bra inside my shirt and handed the small bundle to him as he turned back.
Within a few minutes I was numbed up and listening to the 'clip clip' of the stitches being cut and removed.
"So, Kate. How have you been?" He glanced up at my face before returning to his work. I resisted the urge to shrug.
"OK, I guess." I replied. He gave me a 'really?' look and I suddenly felt a little stupid. He was properly asking, not just making conversation. That was… unexpected, and new.
"Sorry." I whispered before clearing my throat. I wasn't really sure where to start. I let my eyes wash around the room, trying to collect my thoughts, but didn't know how to start and I felt the stupid grow into rising panic that I couldn't articulate myself for such a simple question.
I was brought out of my spiraling thoughts by a tissue being held by Carlisle in front of my face.
"Wha…?" I automatically took the offered sheet, realising that my eyesight was blurry. Where had the tears come from?
"Breathe." He stated quietly, gently, as though talking down someone from a ledge. He braced his hands either side of my hips on the bed where I'd somehow gone from lying down to sitting up without realising in my panic. Only then I noticed my breathing was laboured and rapid.
"You've had a traumatic experience, coupled with a traumatic injury. Thrown into a reality that shouldn't rightly exist, on top of your other problems. It's normal to not feel normal right now."
"That's just it. Nothing will be normal again." I replied, trying to quash the still rising panic. "I mean, it's not like I can't just forget it all, can I? This is my life now…" I wiped my eyes on the tissue, it's flimsy material no match for the welling tears I couldn't stop.
"True." He moved away to grab a wheeled stool and placed it in front of me. He grabbed the box of tissues and placed it by my left hip as he took a seat. I snorted a wet huff of thanks and plucked a few more out of the cardboard before just stuffing my face into my palms.
"It will become your norm, and you'll learn to adjust to it in time. But you need to give yourself time and space to do so. Don't feel pressured by anyone to dive in head first."
I let out another undignified snort at that and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right. OK."
"You don't owe anyone anything, Kate. Even if they are telling you otherwise." Carlisle stated and I lifted my head to look at him.
"It's not… I'm... " I let out a frustrated growl and scrubbed my palms into my eye sockets again, only to find my hands gently, but firmly pulled down into my lap.
"I'd rather you didn't cause yourself an ocular injury on top of everything else." He chided, softening the rebuke with a small smile. "Edward tells me the tenor of your thoughts has changed since we first met you." Carlisle stated, still holding my hands in place. I nodded. "I'm not sure he's completely correct with his theory, but it's an interesting thought. I rather think it's your minds way of processing things, and protecting itself from everything that's happened recently. Have you noticed anything else yourself?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm finding hard to follow my own thoughts, if that makes sense?" I watched him, but he remained impassive, but focused on me. "I feel like I'm in a bubble then I'm not. Like, the world kicks in or up a gear and everything is just too much you know?"
I let my eyes wander to the floor, not seeing it.
"It's overwhelming and I don't know how to deal with it, and I find myself going down a rabbit hole… like I'm getting caught up on really insignificant details and can't stop my train of thought but important stuff is going in one ear and out the other and I can't focus, but I can, and everything really bright and my head aches and I feel twitchy all the time and like I'm going to jump out of my skin, and that's even before I think about the whole Imprint thingy. I mean, what the hell? I haven't even met the rest of the Pack yet and just the thought of it is freaking me out, like Sam and Paul and Embry are resigned to the fact the others will Imprint too and I'm freaking out and feel like I'm expecting to just accept it because it's fate but what about me? Don't I get a say in this?"
I paused and took in a shuddering breath, then another. I felt like I couldn't get any air in and the panic barely concealed was twisting into this ugly thing I couldn't stop.
"Breathe with me, Kate. In… then out… Follow what I'm doing."
I forced myself to follow Carlisle, my eyes following his chest as it expanded and contracted with each breath. Once I found the rhythm and could stick to it I looked up to Carlisle's face and felt the wash of embarrassment blanket me and my rhythm stuttered again as more tears leaked up and I tried to suppress the building sobs in my chest.
"Sor, sor, sorr-y." I hiccuped another breath and almost choked on the words. I was completely falling apart and couldn't stop it.
"Here."
Before I could think, I found myself lifted from the bed and into a pair of strong and rock hard arms in a cool hug. The unexpected gesture of comfort razed my defenses completely and I caved and just hugged him back as much as I could as I spilt my sorrows into his shirt.
Carlisle
I placed my right hand on the back of Kate's head as I rocked her gently as she finally, finally gave in to what her mind needed. From our brief observations and Jasper's feel of her, we understood how much this girl internalized her problems. I recalled with perfect memory Edward's phone call short of two hours ago. His concern of not only her physical state, but her mental one too. I was truthful to her earlier; I believed her fragmented thoughts was her mind trying to process everything and, without an immediate threat to her safety, her brain hadn't triggered the 'off switch' and let her spiral into this mess instead.
I mentally berated the Wolves for no doubt dumping an obscene amount of information on Kate's lap far too soon after her attack in an effort to appease the Imprint pull.
"Is she OK?"
'She will be. She needs to talk to someone to start the recovery process properly.' I replied to Edward's whisper, far below human aural range, in my thoughts.
"Jasper?" He asked.
'Possibly. I'm not sure what the wolves have told her. I imagine her preconceptions of us, and especially Jasper and his history, may influence her ability to open up to him. You saw how Jacob react to him that night.'
"She's here, isn't she?" He stated. "She is willing to listen, given the thoughts I've caught from her today."
'We'll have to tread extremely carefully here, Edward. Remember, she is not Bella, if anything, Kate's response to all of this has been more in line to what I would have expected for a human. Bella's response to what we are was not normal.'
He chuckled lowly. "I won't tell her you said that."
I let my humor leak into my mind momentarily.
"We do have to tread very carefully with the Wolves, Edward. She's an Imprint to what appears to be the whole of the Pack, and Jacob is being very territorial right now." I recalled the second phone call from today, this one from the Alpha, informing me of the extended treaty lines covering Kate's abode and the not so subtle instruction to report and change of family residences immediately. Gone was the laid back young man that lived with us for a good number of years with his Imprint, my granddaughter. It was as though his wolf was bleeding into the man more these days and at that moment I was reminded quite clearly he was indeed Ephraim Black's descendant. "You remember how he was with Bella…?"
"Vividly." He stated with a bite to his tone. There was a bear tolerance there and I laid down the law.
"I'm serious, Edward. This is not a situation we need to escalate. I know you like to poke the wolf, as it were, but Jacob will bite back, and with the Pack behind him, for their Imprint, we will not come out of this well."
I left the rebuke there. It wasn't often I pulled the father role, or coven leader card, but this could end very badly for all involved. As much as I trusted Edward, he could still let his turned age, and past history with Jacob color his vision.
"Understood." He graciously replied, and I sent him my thanks, but no apology for my thoughts for he knew they were true.
I turned my attention back to Kate, her sobs had faded off into small hiccups and shuddering breaths. I could hear the pull of air into her lungs and mentally cataloged her physical well being. Her fever was increasing and I tallied what drugs I had at my disposal in the house and if they were in date. It had been a while since I needed to treat a human here, the last being Bella herself before she was turned.
I inhaled her scent, mindful not to make it obvious given Edward's comment on the phone and how it disturbed her, and ran my own diagnostics of her body. Her tears were strong in salt, and the slightly dry texture of her skin was a sign of dehydration. Not a major thing on its own, but coupled with the building infection, it was something I wanted to get corrected as soon as possible. The infection itself was brewing rapidly, but I was confident that I could contain it given how quickly it had been caught. The wound in her side was not currently weeping or bleeding, but I still needed to clean it whilst the numbing agent was effective.
"Feel better?" I spoke quietly into the top of her head. I felt Kate take in a deep breath and nod against my shoulder as she released it. I rubbed her back, and her head to comfort her, and to take stock of her head injury and musculature. The bump to the head was of no concern, however the stressors clear in their damage from the tightness in her capitis and scapulas. I pulled away from her and rested my hands on her shoulders. She took another shuddering breath and looked up, clearly embarrassed from her outburst of emotion.
"I would like it very much if you consider talking to someone about everything- I mean someone in the know." I headed off her argument before she spoke. "Myself and Edward both have medical training, including Psychology, and Jasper had his own brand of help." She gave me a wary smile at that but didn't protest. "It would help you come to terms with everything you have been through recently, and not just the vampire and wolf part."
She didn't say anything and I didn't push her. We could offer help, but she would have to take it herself.
"In the meantime, I would like to finish what I started here?" I patted the bed and she nodded again and made to lay back down. I moved the tissues away, not before presenting the box to her with my own small grin and she huffed a small laugh before pulling more out of the box.
"Sorry, I'm not usually such a mess." She sounded congested and wiped her eyes before blowing her nose. I moved the trash can from under the cabinet to the side of the bed and turned back to the sink to rewash my hands and reglove.
"It's fine. It's a human response and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share it with me." I pulled the stool back to her side on the bed and set back to work.
A few minutes in and I let out a small 'ah ha' of triumph as I located the minute spec of forestry that was the cause of the infection.
"What?" Kate asked, turning to me.
"I have located the culprit of your infection." I waved my surgical tool at her and she squinted at it.
"I can't see anything?"
"It's tiny, but big enough to do damage." I gave the wound one last going over before beginning the cleaning process. It caused a rupture of some minor capillaries and I paused slightly when the scent of her blood washed over me. It was incredibly strange to both want something and yet have an aversion to it at the same time. I heard Edward asked if I needed his help and I declined. This girl was a flash of interest and mystery and I felt a protective urge encompass me at the thought of myself, or someone else, doing her harm.
At the pretense of returning from his hunt, Edward made his presence known by knocking quietly on the door, before calling for entrance. Kate's reaction was swift and unexpected as she literally jumped half a foot from the bed, and almost had the tray of equipment on the floor if it wasn't for my reactions.
"Jesus! Sorry, sorry!" She called as she tried to rebalance herself and stop things from hitting the floor before realizing I'd already done it. Her hands shook and she grabbed the top of her hair as she closed her eyes, visibly trying to reset. "Sorry." She whispered.
I settled everything on the bench and moved back to take her hands from where she had now covered her face. The reek of adrenaline was strong, much too strong for such a startle. It made me realize how tenuous her mental state was right now. I would need to speak to Jacob about her, this was not good for her, and therefore not good for the Pack.
"Sorry, I'm not usually this jumpy." She tried to laugh it off but her pallor and heart rate spoke for her body's distress.
"It's fine, Kate. Honestly. An exaggerated startle reflex is normal for what you have experienced. There is no shame in reacting how you did." I gave her hands a gentle squeeze and called for Edward to enter as she got herself under control.
"Sorry, Kate. My fault." He lent against the door frame, worry coloring his features. I gave him a run down of what else was needed and set up my plans for him in my mind. His subtle nod had me stand from my seat, making sure to announce my intention to state with my body language for Kate's sake.
"I just need to check on some drugs I have here, but I'm pretty sure I need to obtain some in date antibiotics for you out of town. I will have to get these quickly to nip this infection in the bud, so I'm going to leave you in Edward's capable hands." I set to work degloving and washing my hands after disposing of the used equipment. "Edward, can you get an IV set up for Kate please." I turned to her, "You are slightly dehydrated and the drugs I need are intravenous, so you are going to be stuck here for most of tonight."
"Perfect time to ask the questions you want." Edward smiled. I sent him a mental thank you for that. I wondered if we needed to inform the Pack.
"OK, sounds good." Kate replied. I was expecting a little fight from her, but I could hear that she was exhausted from her tone.
"Do you need to let anyone know…?" Edward hedged. As tired as she was, she clearly got the inference and her brow puckered in distaste.
"If you mean the Pack. No. I'm my own person. Imprint or not, I don't need to run by my plans to them."
"Are you sure?" I asked. "Only, a text could head off a Pack of wolves banging down our door." I half joked. She sighed and agreed. Edward headed back to where he had left her bag and handed it to her. She retrieved her phone and quickly fired off a text to one of the Pack.
"There, done." She turned off the device and tossed it and the bag on the foot of the bed.
I left then, promising return later. It would take a couple of hours to source what I needed. I would require a trip to Seattle to retrieve the drugs. I amended the list in my mind, including some others that might be necessary in the future, as well as some more equipment. I was strongly reminded of my time patching Bella up from her various falls and scrapes and lamented my reduced access to Forks Hospital.
Swinging by the family's safe, I removed the funds I would need and after a quick change of clothing, headed into the forest surrounding the house for my run.