A/N If you've just stumbled upon this here and have yet to read "Echoes of a Dream", this will make absolutely no sense to you. So I strongly suggest you read that first and then come back here for a continuation of Rick and Erin's love story.
This is the first in a series of one-shot deleted scenes that will highlight special moments of their relationship, both in and out of the dream. This scene takes place in Erin's world and might be found at the end of chapter six, after his first night at the quarry when she wakes him up to go back for his car with Glenn.
I hope you enjoy this little glimpse of what Erin was going through while Rick was lost in his dream…
Let me know what you think!
Enjoy…
The measured beep of the heart monitor accompanies Bruce Springsteen's rhythm guitar as his romantic lyrics echo softly from the iPod on the table beside the bed. Erin hums along, dreaming of her own hopeful "Rendezvous" with the comatose man whose leg she is currently lifting from the mattress. Up, bend the knee, hold for a few seconds, straighten, and then back to the mattress to repeat the process on his other leg. Holding his ankle in her left hand, she supports his calf in her right hand as she raises his foot about ten inches. She admires his legs, the legs of a runner; lean with prominent muscle tone in his calves and thighs. Wearing only light blue boxer shorts beneath the loose hospital gown that reveals a nice span of his chest and abdomen, she gets a good view of his masculine legs and torso.
"I know you're tired and you don't feel like exercising, Rick, but you've got to keep your muscles active so they don't deteriorate while you're sleeping," she says, pressing up against his calf to force his knee to bend. "Now don't argue with me," she narrows her eyes at the man lying quietly in the bed. "I'm the one with the nursing degree, and I expect all of my patients to walk out of here on their own someday. Yes, you're right, you are not my patient technically, but I've sort of claimed you, so you're stuck with me. It's your own fault for dragging me into your dreams so you have nobody to blame but yourself." She looks at his face, a short glance which turns into a long gaze as she watches for a reaction, a small sign that he can hear her. But like so many of the stretched out gazes she has set upon him this week, her willful stare goes unchallenged as his eyes remain closed, his chest rising and falling steadily in slow, sleepy breaths.
Fighting the disappointment that she has come to feel more and more sharply with each passing day, she returns her attention to his legs. "Last night's was a good one, wasn't it?" She recalls the beginning of the dream when she was in the tent getting ready for bed while her three roommates were sleeping. "The way you conveniently just happened to wake up while I was getting undressed? I'm sure you remember that part. Don't you, sheriff?" She can't help smiling at him now, a reflection of the same little grin she had seen on his face last night in the deep heart of her dream, when the apocalyptic sky was dark and the little lantern glowed inside the tent to light his face in playful humor. "It's a good thing you were more cute than creepy. I guess your sweet southern charm was shining through." She rests his left foot on the mattress and reaches for his right. "If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have slept right next to him. But you… I don't know, you made me feel so safe." She'll never forget lying on her mattress next to his and seeing his beautiful blue eyes looking back at her, such tenderness in their depths as he held her gaze in the moonlight. And she'll always remember the way he seemed to be watching over her as she drifted off to sleep, a very special guardian, protecting her from a world where nightmares stumbled free.
"Even now, somehow, just lying here like that, I don't know how you do it, but you have a way of making me feel so safe. Maybe it's because I know that you would rescue me from a burning building like I'd rescued you the other night. You know – payback for saving you in the dream and bringing you to the lake." She can almost see his brows lifting high into his forehead. "Well, okay whatever, maybe it was you that brought me to the cabin, but I'm the one that woke you up, remember? I know you remember that now – that's what you told me last night. When you woke up in the morning and finally remembered us being at the lake together." She nods her head at him, recalling the dream she'd had the night before, and then shakes her head slowly. "I was so relieved when you finally remembered me."
She thinks of the dream that had brought them together. Dropping her chin and closing her eyes, she can still feel the warmth of the sun on her face and the heat of the large rock beneath her as the soft quack of a tiny duckling echoes in her ears. She can see the white tee shirt and the dark hair of the man sitting at her side, and she can still feel the way her heart seemed to beat solely for him, and his for her. If two people can connect so strongly through unfathomable measures, it's easy to believe they were created for each other. Which is why she had to end her relationship with the radiology technician.
Letting go of the dream and returning to the sleeping man in the quiet room, she opens her eyes and raises the leg held forgotten in her grasp. "So anyway, I broke up with Tim last night. Yeah, he's okay. He took it really well actually. I think he'd seen it coming for a while now. And not just in the last week. Tim knew I was dragging my feet toward a full commitment, so he was almost expecting it. Especially after our dinner the other night," she says, her brows lifting slightly. "He was telling me about his uncle's surgery and I couldn't stay focused on the conversation. I kept nodding my head and saying 'yes' and 'uh huh' in all the right places, but my mind was a million miles away. Or three miles anyway – hovering here in this room. He knew it too. Assumed I was worrying about one of my patients and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. Of course I said no." She lowers his leg and looks up to his quiet face. "I mean, how can I tell him about these unbelievably strong feelings I have for a man I haven't spoken two words to? Well, yes," she says with a roll of her eyes. "I've spoken many words to you, but we've never held a regular conversation." She tilts her chin with a smirk as she imagines his response, insisting that they had in fact exchanged many words together. "You know what I mean, Rick. Not out here in the real world." She recalls with vivid clarity the long conversation they'd had while she'd removed his sutures in the dream. If only that could have happened here.
"Anyway, Tim knows I get overly attached to some of my little patients, but he would never… I mean…" She blinks hard as emotion stings her eyes. "Nobody would ever understand how much you have come to mean to me," she says, barely getting the last words out as she chokes on the knot lodged in her throat. She swallows hard and shakes her head to clear the overwhelming sense of affection. "God, I don't even understand it myself. It's crazy, it's insane. But it's also very real. And I think you feel the same way about me. Don't you." Her tone brooks more of a challenge than a question, daring him to wake up and argue the point.
"Okay, I'll tell you what – if you think I should go back to Tim and beg his forgiveness, then open your eyes now and tell me so." A thread of frustration stiffens her back. "Wake up and tell me that you have no idea who I am, that I'm a lunatic, out of my mind for thinking that you and I were meant to be together." She can't help the heat that blisters her words as she glares at him. After a moment of bitter tension that carries a seed of self-doubt, she takes a deep breath and steadies herself, recalling the discussion she'd had with Shane earlier, when Rick's partner had confirmed some details about her patient's personal life. There is no way she could know about Rick's father walking out on his teenage son if she hadn't actually heard it from Rick himself, even if it was only in a dream. Taking comfort and strength from that, she softens her gaze upon his handsome face and switches tactics.
"Or…" she draws out the word, weaving a whisper of hope into the single syllable and softly says, "Just wake up and admit that I am right. Open your eyes and look at me, Rick. See me standing here." She presses her thumbs into his shins, grasping his body for a few lost moments before loosening her grip when she realizes what she'd been doing. "I'm with you, Rick. Right here, right now. Just open your eyes and look at me. Please, honey, just open your eyes."
She brushes a finger across her cheek to relieve an itch and is somewhat surprised when it comes away with the moisture of a tear. She clears her throat and continues the one-sided conversation. "Not yet? Still not ready to meet me in the real world?" She sniffles loudly. "Okay, maybe tomorrow, huh? You know, I really thought today was the day." She lifts his left leg to resume their exercise routine. "I was sure I was going to find you sitting up in that bed when I ran in here this morning. After the dream last night, I just knew it. Yeah, I know I've said that before, after the very first dream at the lake. But after last night, when you actually remembered me waking you up from the coma, I was sure this was it. So yeah, I was just slightly disappointed." Her sarcasm echoes off the flower vase and drips from the petals that are standing tall to cheer up the room. She had actually been extremely disappointed when she'd raced to the hospital once again only to find that nothing had changed, once again.
"No, no, you don't have to apologize." She waves a sarcastic hand in mock forgiveness. "I know you still need your rest. So don't you worry about me. I will sit patiently at your side until you are good and ready to come back. But please, Rick…" Holding his knee bent at a sharp angle, she swallows hard and lifts her gaze to his face. "Please come back to me soon." After rubbing a soothing caress against his knee, she stretches his leg and lays it gently on the mattress. "Alright, I'll let you sleep a little longer." Stepping to the side of the bed, she pulls the blanket back up to his waist. "So what's it going to be tonight? A nice romantic walk in the woods above the quarry? Snuggling up by the campfire? Another fishing excursion with Carl? Yeah, I really enjoyed that too." She smiles warmly and takes his hand, and then narrows her eyes at him. "Or are you going to play hard to get, now that you know that you've already got me? Huh?"
He remains quiet, for now. But deep in her soul, she knows that he will come back to the waking world in time. Back to her. She believes that with every ounce of her being, which is the only reason she is able to walk out the door each night.
"Okay, sheriff," she murmurs softly, in the manner of someone watching over a sleeping child; just letting them know you are there without disturbing their sleep. "I guess I'll see you in a little while." Lifting his hand, she lowers her head and turns her chin, bringing his hand up to warm her cheek. "I'll see you soon, honey." With a soft kiss beside his knuckles, she rests his hand upon the mattress at his hip, then collects her personal things and walks out of the room to the tune of "Dream Baby Dream" drifting out of the iPod in her pocket.
