Merlin was exhausted. In fact, he had never felt this drained in his entire life. His entire body ached and simultaneously felt as if it were filled with lead. He just felt heavy, like he was being pulled down towards the earth by an impatient hand. Merlin then realized just how thirsty he was. Even his tongue ached for some reason, and his mouth tasted disturbingly like blood.

It was only when Merlin began to register the blur of voices around him that he realized he must've been unconscious. He still lacked the strength to open his eyes, so he tried to listen to his surroundings and reorient himself. However, the sounds and voices ran together and only confused him. Gods, why was everything suddenly so loud?

Merlin startled at the small sound of distress that involuntarily escaped him. It was then that he felt gentle hands on his shoulder and one on his cheek. There was something about the way each hand tentatively touched him, as if he might shatter, that sent a jolt of apprehension through him. The voices sounded desperate to Merlin, like they were asking him something.

The warlock finally found the strength to open his eyes, though the light that assaulted him made him regret it. He winced, then tried again, more gradually. The first thing he registered was the crackling fire next to his bedside.

His bedside?

Merlin blinked. He was on the patient's cot in Gaius' chambers. Merlin's eyes travelled around the familiar room that he'd grown to call home, and something welled up in his chest. Then his eyes locked with the old, kind eyes of his surrogate father and Merlin just dissolved into tears.

"My boy," Gaius said quietly, gathering Merlin up in his arms.

And Merlin let himself go. If he was here, then he was finally safe and the relief he felt at that was overwhelming. He'd thought that he would never see Gaius, or anyone he had ever cared about, again.

It was only when Merlin regained control of his emotions when he remembered that there had been multiple voices in the room. The warlock stiffened, pulling back from Gaius a bit abruptly. He felt heat flushing his cheeks as he saw Guinevere, Arthur, and Gwaine standing off to his left. They seemed to have retreated to give Merlin and his guardian some privacy, but still. If Merlin didn't still feel like death warmed over, he would've been mortified.

"I'll get you some water," Gaius offered, anticipating Merlin's needs as always.

"Thanks, Gaius," Merlin said, his voice gravelly from disuse.

The trio in the corner took that as an invitation to converge at Merlin's bedside. Gwen was the first to reach him, her kind smile speaking louder than words as she leaned in and kissed Merlin's forehead. Merlin felt the prickle of tears returning to his eyes as she settled back into a chair next to him, maintaining a tight grip on his left hand.

"It's good to see you awake, sleeping beauty," Gwaine said with a relieved smile.

"We thought you might sleep forever, skimp on all your chores," Arthur jabbed, though he nudged Merlin's shoulder with surprising gentleness. Merlin realized how close it must've been since Arthur didn't even call him a girl's petticoat for crying like he had.

Merlin delivered what he hoped was a cheeky grin. "Don't worry. I still might. I feel absolutely terrible."

Merlin pretended not to notice Arthur flinch ever so slightly. He had a feeling that the king would blame himself for what happened, even though it was obviously Merlin's fault for wandering off on his own like that. Merlin would have to remember to talk to Arthur about it later.

Gaius came over and handed Merlin a cup. Merlin drank gratefully, relishing in the wonderful feeling of cold water soothing his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he had had clean, fresh water.

"So, what exactly happened?" Merlin asked after handing Gaius the now-empty cup. "I don't really remember much."

Arthur and Gwaine glanced at each other.

"Well, what do you remember?" Gwaine asked carefully.

Merlin grimaced. "Just flashes. It doesn't really make much sense. I remember seeing Arthur in that cave and then seeing the rest of you guys again, but then it gets blurry." Merlin froze, a sickening thought striking him with crushing force. "There was a young girl… and I—I…"

Merlin couldn't say it out loud. That would make it real. Merlin avoided his friends' eyes. What would they think of him now?

"Merlin. You did what you had to. Whatever you saw, it was a lie." It was Arthur who had spoken. Merlin glanced up and was surprised to see that his expression was unguarded and full of sympathy.

Merlin shook his head. "No, it wasn't. She—it used to be human."

"Even if that were true, the fact still remains that it used to be human. We all saw what that thing did to you, Merlin. She became a monster, and you had to defend yourself. You're not the monster, don't you ever think that."

Merlin looked down, picking fretfully at his blanket. Logically, he knew Arthur was right, but his heart still twisted up with guilt.

"How did you do it?" Gwaine asked eagerly, though his tone was still gentle.

Merlin shook his head a bit. "She used our shared fear to link us. When I invaded her mind, I discovered her deepest fear and used it against her."

Merlin shivered as he thought back to that horrible moment when he had to hold the girl under the water as she struggled for life, just like her father had done. What had hurt the most was that she had been innocent. She had reminded Merlin so much of himself when he was young and vulnerable. What if his own mother had done the same to him? Merlin knew that Hunith loved him, but sometimes fear can twist and warp people until they can no longer be recognized.

Merlin had been extremely lucky.

"Shared fear?" Arthur's question pulled Merlin out of his reverie.

The warlock nodded. "The fear of what we are." Merlin froze again, catching his mistake only too late. His mind must've still been jumbled, because in his right mind, he never would have said it.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Arthur demanded incredulously.

Merlin looked to Gaius for help, feeling his heart begin to pound. The physician looked just as stricken, scrambling for the right words to say.

But somehow it was Gwen who came to his rescue.

"Of course! Arthur, don't you see?"

The room was tensely quiet. Merlin was practically gasping for air, his head pounding more aggressively than before.

Gwen rolled her eyes at the stunned silence before explaining. "Gaius said it himself that the succubus feeds off of psychic energy," she paused, gripping Merlin's hand tighter as she looked back at him with compassion. "You told me yourself that you were psychic when we first met, but I didn't believe you Merlin. But it's true, isn't it? That's how you always seem to know about things before anyone else."

Merlin was stunned. He remembered saying that many years ago to cover up his magic, but that's all it was.

Arthur hummed thoughtfully. "Is that why you're always getting those 'funny feelings' of yours?"

Merlin blinked, not sure if he should confirm it. Was being psychic the same thing as having magic abilities? He honestly didn't know. Merlin just gestured helplessly in response.

"I always knew there was something strange about you, mate," Gwaine said, slapping Merlin's shoulder lightly.

"Thanks," Merlin shot back sarcastically.

"Can you read my mind?"

"No, Gwaine."

"Can you—"

"Probably not. However, you have the uncanny ability to give me a bigger headache."

Gaius took that as his cue to usher the curious trio from the room. When Gaius turned back after they had left, Merlin couldn't help but laugh at his awestruck face.

"I guess I'm psychic now."

Gaius pinched his nose. "Yes, I suppose so. Now, get some rest before you manage to give me a heart attack.."

…

Why is it always so hard for me to finish up a fic? Gosh. So sorry about my inconsistency lately. I've finished up my semester now, so I have no more excuses lol. I have one more chapter in mind, so you guys will be hearing from me again soon! As always, I appreciate everyone's support. Thanks for being there with me every step of the way!