Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sue Thomas F B Eye but I wish I did.
Taken from S02E13, The Holocaust Survivor. Apologies for all the dialogue, I didn't know how else to write it out.
Defective
It was late, the night was dull and getting dark.
The drive to Georgetown was quiet.
Sue was quiet, staring out of the passenger window at the familiar sights on their way home from work.
Stopping at a red light Jack reached over and touched her arm, gaining her attention.
She turned her face towards him.
Her eyes were empty and Jack wasn't even sure that she was seeing him.
"You OK?" he asked, fingers moving with his words.
She bit the inside of her lip and shrugged her shoulders slightly.
He was watching her, carefully debating on what to say next. She looked tired. Her creamy blonde hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, a stray strand falling in front of her eyes. His fingers itched to reach out and brush it aside.
A car horn behind them blasted. Levi jumped up from the back seat and stuck his head through the gap between them and barked twice.
Jack smiled a little and shook his head. "Car horn." he mouthed.
"Green light." was all she replied pointing and then turned her face back to the window.
They drove the rest of the way in silence, stopping and starting through the last of the rush hour traffic as commuters made their way home to their families in time for dinner. Sue didn't look his way once.
Jack pulled the car in to a spot outside of Sue's apartment building and turned off the ignition. But she made no effort to move. She just sat there staring at nothing.
He could see her reflection in the window. Her eyes glittered with unshed tears.
He swallowed and gently touched her arm again.
She didn't move.
His hand lingered on her arm and he squeezed softly.
Again she made no effort to acknowledge him.
Turning in his seat to face her, he didn't release her arm. Worry washed over him as he found her face in the window again.
They sat there for a long time as the traffic eased off and as the nightlife started to pick up.
"Good night, Jack." she whispered suddenly.
Without looking at him she quickly got out of the car and opened the back door for Levi.
Jack was quick. By the time she was closing the door he was there behind her.
Levi sat and pawed at her, alerting her that he was there.
But she knew.
He felt her tense up a little, like she knew that she was going to have to talk.
Eventually she turned towards him, a single tear rolled down her cheek and her hands started to move.
His heart broke at her questions.
Am I defective? Am I worthless?
"Sue..." he breathed. He shook his head.
She leaned back against the car door.
"I can't get Helga's story out of my head. I can't help thinking that if I was there in that time, if I was alive during the war, I would've been taken. I would've been tortured for being deaf. For being different. For being me." she whispered, another tear sliding down her cheek. "Gassed. Starved. Or used for medical experiments. What did Helga say? They wanted to extinguish us like a candle. They didn't want deaf people to have children. They didn't want any more defectives."
Her voice quivered and her hands shook slightly as she spoke but she continued before he could say anything.
"Even now, how can people be so awful? There are organisations out there, human beings, who still believe that deaf people and disabled people are worthless. That we shouldn't be allowed to live."
Some more tears fell from her eyes.
"The guy working with Zimmer was to be a lawyer. How could someone like him be allowed to practice Law. Does that make me prejudice? You should've seen the look of pure, unadulterated disgust on his face when I told him that I was deaf. I could see his thoughts, Jack. I'm surprised he didn't just come out and tell me that I should've been killed right there on the spot."
He couldn't bear her words. He could see that she couldn't hold her tears at bay for much longer. Her eyes were no longer empty. They were full and pained.
"How do I... If we..." she swiped at her cheeks. "If I ever have children they're likely to be born deaf. How would I explain to them that they are different? How would I tell this beautiful little human that people will be prejudice towards them for most of their life. That being deaf can be extremely lonely."
He moved closer, closing the gap between them and he took hold of her hand.
"My childhood was hard work. I was made fun of but I had good friends. It made me who I am. And I've never once wished that I could hear. And if I was given the option right now to flick a switch and suddenly be hearing, to be a part of your world..." she sniffed. "I wouldn't change a thing. This is who I am. But knowing that people think that people like me aren't worthy of life... Oh, I don't know. Helga's story keeps replaying in my head."
She looked down at their entwined hands and then to Levi laying by her feet.
Jack's eyes were stinging.
He blinked away his own tears. His heart breaking a little more. He hated that she felt like this. Like she was worthless. She was everything but. Surely she had to know that.
Reaching up to her with his free hand he gently wiped away a stray tear then lifted her face so that she was looking at him.
He didn't know where to begin; or how to say everything that she needed to hear.
Her earlier question replayed in his head, along with the look across her face as she asked it.
Am I defective? Am I worthless?
"Listen to me." he whispered, his heart pounding. "You... You are the most incredible person that I've ever met."
She tried to look away but he held her firm.
"Look at me." he said. "I don't see you as deaf or disabled. I see you..."
He swallowed and blinked hard.
"I see a smart, strong woman. You're intelligent, sweet, kind, funny." he told her. "What you've accomplished; the people you've helped. Sue, You make the world a better place. You fight for what you believe. You've made me a better man. I wouldn't change anything about you."
He released her hand to sign to her.
"You are beautiful inside and out."
Her tears were streaming now and he pulled her in to his arms. Her cheek was pressed against his shoulder and he could feel her quiet cries against his body. He had both arms around her; one around her waist, the other running up and down her back and stoking her hair.
They held each other for a long time before Sue pulled back, all cried out.
"I'm sorry." she signed to him.
He tried to smile. "You have nothing to apologise for."
His hand cupped her cheek and they held each others gaze.
"Don't you ever question your worth again." he whispered. "Do you understand?"
She looked like she was about disagree but she nodded, her eyes fixed on his.
"I know there's prejudice, Sue, but those people, they are few and far between. This isn't the 1930's, times have changed." he said. "This case may not help you think it has, but it really has changed."
"I know." she whispered, after a long silence.
"And if we... Whatever happens Sue, you will never be alone. I'll always be here for you. You have a whole team to stand by you. I'd... We'd move heaven and earth for you."
She tried to smile. "Even Myles?
He chuckled softly. "Well... Sometimes maybe not Myles but..."
He still held her face in his hand and he could feel her leaning in to his touch. He moved in slowly and placed the softest of kisses to her cheek, his face lingering by hers for a few moments longer than necessary. He felt her smile slightly and her face shifted, their mouths were so close.
A rumble rose in his chest.
Levi barked and jumped at Sue, pushing them apart.
Sue fell back against the car and scolded, "Levi."
Jack laughed and looked away.
She smiled and scratched Levi's head.
They stood awkwardly, smiling. The moment broken by a jealous dog.
"I'd better..." stammered Sue.
"It's late..." smiled Jack.
They laughed and pulled apart further.
"Are you hungry?" signed Jack.
Sue smiled and moved away from the car. "I could eat."
"Will yo be OK?"
She smiled.
"Who needs a guardian angel when you have a host of FBI Agents covering your back.." she said softly. "Thank you, Jack."
He cocked his head, a smile still playing on his lips as he placed his hand at her back and lead her down the street.
THE END