It was just a simple ear infection. That was what she had been told. It was common and very easy to deal with. But yet, what came from the infection was not.
Yukina had no idea what happened. She had felt fine that night when she had gone to bed. And yet, that morning, her world came crashing down.
She woke up not to her alarm, but to someone shaking her. Yukina blinked up at them. Lisa was there. Yukina wasn't sure why she was in her room.
Lisa started speaking, and that's when everything came crashing down. Yukina couldn't hear anything. She saw Lisa talking, saw her mouth moving, but no sound came to her. Was she dreaming? No. This felt too real to be just a simple dream.
"I… I'm not feeling well…" Yukina stammered, "I'd like to be alone."
Lisa frowned. She tucked some of Yukina's hair behind her face and spoke again. Yukina could only try and guess what she was saying. It helped that she knew Lisa very well. It was obvious she was expressing concern. That was enough for Yukina to work off of to figure out what to reply with.
"I'm fine. You don't need to worry." Yukina said after Lisa stopped.
Lisa said something else and then left the room. Yukina sighed. She felt wetness on her cheeks. A simple touch revealed she was crying.
The crying turned into sobs before long, Yukina having thrown her face into her pillows. She was completely broken. Her entire world had just collapsed.
Her life revolved around hearing. And now that was gone. Stripped away from her in an instant. Her life was over. That was all she could think of. She couldn't continue as a singer. Not if she couldn't hear.
Her dreams had been destroyed. Everything she had aimed for and worked so hard for meant nothing now. Not if she couldn't do it. Yukina pulled out her phone.
She hesitantly texted everyone in Roselia, telling them she was sick and wouldn't be able to make it to practice. She also added that they shouldn't book another session. She knew they wouldn't question it. They'd just assume she'd get around to doing it. But, that wasn't going to happen. As far as she knew, that would be the last practice Roselia every booked with their current members.
Everyone wished she would get better soon. Yukina frowned. Why couldn't she just tell them? Why was she hesitating?
Yukina knew why. She was afraid. Afraid of their reactions. After the other incidents of them fighting because of things she had done, Yukina grew wary of saying much about her feelings.
Yukina stared blankly at her phone. Her hand hovered just above the keypad. All she had to do was tell them. At least she wouldn't have to see their reactions. She'd just have to deal with their texts.
Yukina blinked as her phone flashed. Lisa was calling her. Yukina glanced at the time. She didn't realize it had been two hours. Yukina sighed. She let the call go to voicemail.
Yukina looked at the chat. Nothing new had come up. She sighed and turned off her phone. She didn't want to deal with any of them right now.
Yukina winced as she felt her stomach growl. She hadn't eaten at all today. She sighed and got up. She went downstairs. Yukina simply grabbed some cereal.
She curled up on the couch. Yukina turned on the TV, before she remembered. She couldn't hear it. Yukina fumbled with the remote, trying to figure out how closed captions worked.
She struggled, but eventually managed to find them. She muted the TV and then watched. Yukina hated this. Why did she have to suffer like this?
Yukina sighed as she slowly ate her cereal. She couldn't follow along very well on the TV. She had never been that fast of a reader. She knew this was going to be a struggle. Yukina knew she'd have to go to school again. How was she going to survive?
DIVIDER--
When the next morning came, Yukina was a nervous wreck. She had no idea what she was supposed to do. She couldn't understand anyone. If anyone tried to talk to her, what would she do? Yukina decided her best bet was to try to avoid people she knew at all costs.
That proved to be difficult. Especially when one of those people happened to be your neighbor. Yukina had stepped out of her house, only to see Lisa doing the same. Yukina half debated going back inside and hiding out until Lisa left, but she couldn't. Lisa had already seen her.
Lisa smiled and waved at her. Yukina gave her a fake smile and waved back. Her nerves were slowly starting to consume her. She hated this feeling. This wasn't like her. She never felt this way. But, who could really blame her?
Yukina walked over to her. She said nothing as Lisa started talking. Yukina felt bad about what she was about to do, but she didn't know what other options she had. Yukina started walking. Lisa stared at her in shock as she ran to catch up.
Lisa tried talking to Yukina, but Yukina continued to ignore her. Lisa started to wonder if she had done something. But, she couldn't think of anything.
They soon arrived at the school. Yukina managed to vanish into the crowd, leaving Lisa alone and very confused. It was not like Yukina to avoid her. Especially when there was nothing to warrant it. She had done nothing that could have caused tensions between them.
Yukina didn't come to class. That made Lisa worried even more. Yukina had instead gone up to the roof and hung out there. She couldn't bring herself to go to class. Just the thought of it made her feel sick. What was she supposed to do if she got called on? She'd never know and then she'd make a fool out of herself.
When lunch came, Yukina remained on the roof. Her nerves were too wild for her to even think of eating. She sighed as she pulled her knees to her face. She rested her chin on them. Yukina gulped as she felt tears falling down her face again. If anyone came up here, they'd see her in this state. That was not something she ever wanted.
Yukina frantically tried to dry her tears, but more kept coming. She opted to just bury her face into her knees and hope no one came up.
Unfortunately, it didn't seem like that would be the case. Unbeknownst to Yukina, all of Afterglow had come up to the roof. They whispered to each other as they stared at her. None of them knew what to do.
"Ran, go talk to her." Moca said as she lightly shoved Ran forward.
"Why me?" Ran demanded.
"Come on. You guys are close, aren't you?" Moca teased.
"We are not. The only reason we are around each other is strictly for music reasons." Ran defended.
"Come on, just go talk to her, Ran." Himari joined in.
"Why don't we go find Imai-san instead? Wouldn't that be better?" Ran huffed.
"While we do that, you talk to her." Tomoe joined in as well.
"I doubt anything will happen if we leave her be for like ten minutes." Ran stated.
"Don't you care? Aren't you worried too?"
"This is not a place for us." Ran stated.
She tried to walk back inside, but Moca pulled her back. Ran growled at her.
"How about this. You ask her what's up. If she doesn't want to talk, then you can leave?" Moca offered.
"If you're worried so much, why don't you do it?" Ran huffed.
"Fine." Moca accepted the challenge, "I'll do it."
"Come on. Let's go see where Lisa is. Maybe she knows what's going on?"
The other four left Moca alone. Moca rolled her eyes. She didn't see why it was such a big deal for Ran. Moca had only suggested her since they in fact did know each other better than the others.
Yukina didn't know Moca that well. Sure, they may have exchanged a few words, but that was it. Moca wasn't sure she would get Yukina to talk. Why would she open up to someone she barely even knew?
Moca sighed as she walked over to where Yukina sat, "Yukina."
Yukina, obviously, didn't reply. She was still crying. Thoughts of everything she was losing had come into her mind and refused to leave her alone. All she could think about was the fact that she'd never be able to enjoy everything she used to.
Moca called her name again and tapped her on the shoulder. Yukina jumped. She stared with wide eyes. Moca pursed her lips as she looked Yukina over. She dug through her bag and pulled out some tissues. Moca held them out.
Yukina hesitantly took them and tried to dry her face. Moca started talking. Yukina sighed. She couldn't just run away this time.
Yukina hesitantly spoke after Moca stopped, "I… I can't hear you."
Moca looked at her in confusion. She didn't understand what Yukina was implying. Moca asked her about it. Yukina got that much.
"I… I had… an ear infection and… I… I guess I lost my hearing…" Yukina said, "I'm not going to the doctor until tomorrow… but nothing can hide the fact I can't hear…"
Moca frowned. Now she could understand why Yukina was so upset. Moca pulled out her phone and pulled up a note app. She typed something out and then showed it to Yukina.
I'm sorry. That must suck. Does anyone else know?
Yukina shook her head, "I… I'm scared to tell anyone."
Because?
"What if they leave me?" Yukina hated that she had to voice her fears, but what else could she do. Perhaps it would help if she admitted them to someone?
I don't think anyone would leave you if they truly are your friend
"I can't face them…"
They were unaware that Lisa had entered the roof now. She watched silently as the two communicated. She was confused by the fact Moca wasn't speaking.
"Is everything okay?" Lisa called as she walked over to them.
"Can you just give us a minute?" Moca motioned her away.
"Alright. Tell me when I can come over." Lisa agreed and stood by the door.
Lisa is here. Do you want me to tell her?
Yukina was surprised by the offer. Her mind started telling her it was because of how weak she looked. She could only guess how tear stained her face still looked.
Yukina hesitantly nodded. Moca called Lisa over. Yukina refused to look at her. She opted to rebury her face into her knees.
"What's up?" Lisa asked, "She's been avoiding me all morning."
"Well… um, apparently she's gone deaf. She had an ear infection and… that happened." Moca explained.
"You're joking, right?"
"No… that's what she told me."
"Yukina, please say you're joking." Lisa begged.
Yukina couldn't hear her, and therefore couldn't reply. She kept her face buried in her knees. Tears had started streaming down her face again as her mind played scenarios of rejection.
Even if Lisa was her close friend, that didn't mean anything. What if she got fed up with her? After all, she'd have to change how she spoke to Yukina now. What if she just decided it was easier to leave her?
Lisa frowned as she hugged Yukina. Yukina would never joke about something like this, as much as she wished she was. She was telling her the truth. Yukina looked up at her. She could barely see her through the tears.
Lisa gently brushed away her tears. Yukina hesitantly brought her hands up and hugged Lisa. Lisa went to say something to comfort her, but caught herself. She instead just leaned closer and allowed Yukina to cry as much as she needed.
"What's gonna happen now?" Moca asked, "Even just school will be a struggle for her."
"I… I don't know…" Lisa realized just how difficult this situation was, "I'm not sure what we can do."
"I guess talking to guidance would probably be a start… though you'll need to wait until a doctor confirms her hearing loss." Moca offered.
"I see…" Lisa sighed, "Thanks for helping her."
"It's nothing. Good luck." Moca took that as a sign it was time for her to leave.
"Could you not tell anyone?" Lisa said, "Just until we get things sorted out?"
"Sure. Though, if things don't work out, I think you should tell. Having more people might be for the best in that case." Moca replied and then left them alone.
Lisa sighed. This was going to be a journey. That was for sure. How well would things go for them? Lisa didn't know. All she knew was this was something she couldn't just let play out on its own.
Yukina and Lisa remained hugging until the warning bell rang. Lisa knew Yukina was not going to class. She didn't want to leave her alone, but she also didn't want to ditch. After debating it, she decided Yukina needed her more. One afternoon wouldn't hurt too much.
Except for the fact someone noticed and told someone else.
DIVIDER--
It was an awkward night for everyone. They had been told not to schedule another practice at all. It was strange. They had assumed Yukina would do it, but that never happened.
"Hey, onee-chan? Is everything alright with Roselia?" Hina suddenly asked while the two of them were watching TV.
"Yes, at least as far as I'm aware. Why?" Sayo replied.
"Well, Yukina didn't show up to class today and Lisa never came back after lunch. I was talking to her when she was called away because Yukina needed her, but that's all I know." Hina told her.
"Well, I haven't received any messages. I'm sure it's nothing major." While Sayo said that, she had a lot of doubts about it being the truth.
"Okay." Hina accepted the answer and went back to focusing on the TV show.
Sayo hesitantly pulled out her phone. She decided to text Lisa and see what was going on. It did concern her a little since Yukina had been acting strange.
Sayo: Hey. Is everything alright? Hina said you ditched class to go see Yukina.
Lisa: Oh. Everything is fine. I promise.
Sayo: I don't believe you
Lisa: It's complicated
Sayo: Just tell me what's going on. Everyone already is worried about Yukina.
Lisa: Well, Yukina kinda lost her hearing.
Sayo didn't know how to react to that. She just stared at her phone for a while. Lisa wasn't joking, right? Sayo prayed she'd text and say she was just kidding, but it never came.
"You okay, onee-chan?" Hina noticed her stiffness.
"U-um… I need to do something. Sorry." Sayo stood up and went to her room. She needed time to process this.
Sayo: You're serious? How bad is it?
Lisa: She's completely deaf. Can't hear anything. She's going to the doctor tomorrow to see if they can do anything. If not, I don't know what we'll do
Sayo: How is she taking it?
Lisa: Not good. She's really upset
Sayo: You can't blame her
Lisa: Yeah. I guess you can't
Sayo: Take care of her
Lisa: I'll do my best
Sayo sighed. This was not something she had been expecting. Why had this happened? What was going to become of them now? If Yukina was deaf permanently now, what would happen to Roselia? There was no way they'd be able to continue without her.
There wasn't much she could do right now. They'd all just have to wait to see.
DIVIDER--
The next day came. Unfortunately, they were informed Yukina most likely wouldn't regain her hearing. Maybe a little bit of it would come back, but that was it.
Yukina was, understandably, distraught. Her life was over as far as she was concerned. She couldn't continue to be a singer if she couldn't hear. That just wasn't something she felt confident enough to even attempt.
Lisa had convinced Yukina they needed to tell the others. It was worse to let them wait. So, that evening, everyone was at Lisa's house. They were gathered in the living room.
"So, there's something important we need to discuss." Lisa stated.
Once everyone was focused on her, well except Yukina, Lisa started explaining everything. She explained how Yukina had lost her hearing and that it was basically impossible for her to continue as a singer.
Sayo already expected this when Lisa called the meeting. Ako and Rinko had no idea, though. It was shocking to them.
"So… what's gonna happen now?" Ako asked.
"I don't know." Lisa said, "She doesn't know either."
"Well, the first thing we need to focus on is how is she going to handle school?" Sayo stated.
"Yeah… she's supposed to go get fitted for a hearing aid at some point, but that'll be a while and… they don't know how much she'll be able to hear with them in." Lisa said. "I don't know what we're going to do about school…"
"How are we going to talk with her?" Rinko asked.
"Just type out what you want to say and show it to her. That's the best we can do for now." Lisa replied.
DIVIDER--
A week had passed since then. Things were going a little better. Yukina hadn't gotten much hearing back. Her hearing aids helped slightly, but not too much. She struggled a lot in class. Not that she hadn't before, but now it was even worse. Lisa did her best to help out, but there was only so much she could do.
Occasionally Hina would try and jump in to help, but most of the time it was unhelpful. Hina tried, but she didn't quite get it. The only thing good she had done was introduce them to sign language. They were trying to learn it to make it easier to communicate. It was a long process, as learning any foreign language is.
Roselia wasn't really a thing anymore. They hadn't formally announced anything yet. They all still had hope that somehow they could make this work out. There was a way to do it. However, it required a change in lineup. Yukina knew how to play the guitar. So, if she could learn songs and basically do it from muscle memory, it could work out. They'd just need someone else to be the singer. That was where they stopped.
No one wanted to replace Yukina. So, the band remained on a hiatus. That was all anyone else knew. They were taking a break.
It was only a matter of time before they'd have to say something, though. How long could they take a break for? How long before people started asking questions? No one really knew. They just were prepared for that to happen.
No one else was told about Yukina. Moca had been told the conclusion as she had asked. She was told to keep it a secret until Yukina was ready to talk. So, no one else had been informed about the whole deaf thing. That proved to be a little tough.
Yukina couldn't talk to people if she couldn't understand what they were saying. There was no point in even trying. So, she avoided people that might want to talk. If she was cornered, she'd make up a lie about having somewhere to be and quickly leaving. Some people were starting to get a little suspicious.
DIVIDER--
Almost a month had passed since that day. Things were still tough. They had managed to get to the point where sign language was a means of communication now. That made things a little bit easier on them all.
However, nothing had been decided about Roselia yet. People were starting to ask things. Most just wanting to know what was happening and if Roselia would come back any time soon. No one knew what to answer with. They knew they needed an answer soon.
So, they decided to meet up. They needed to make a final decision soon. Now was the best time to do it. They all met up at Lisa's house again.
"So, what are we going to do?" Lisa asked, "We can't just keep hiding from everyone."
"What do you think, Yukina?"
All eyes turned to Yukina. She thought about it. What did she think they should do? As the leader, it was going to be her decision to make. What should they do?
"Would anyone be willing to take my place?" Yukina asked. That would decide the answer.
Everyone looked at each other. That was something they still hadn't quite figured out. Who was the best option? There were a few factors they had to keep in mind.
Ako definitely wasn't able to. Playing the drums while trying to sing an entire song? That seemed like a very daunting task. Rinko could potentially do it. But, with her shyness and all, they weren't sure if that was a wise decision.
That left Lisa and Sayo as their options. They both knew that very well. They looked at each other. It was up to them to decide the fate of the group. If neither was up to the challenge, it was over for Roselia.
"What if we both did it?" Lisa suggested.
It was obvious neither was willing to be in that much spotlight. Lisa thought if they both became the main singers, it would lessen the pressure.
"We could try." Sayo agreed.
"Then that's decided." Lisa smiled.
"So, Roselia will continue." Yukina said.
"Yay!"
"Good."
"Awesome!"
That was the end of it. Roselia would continue. Just a little different. They announced to the public the change. It was met with hesitance.
It was shocking, obviously. To learn Yukina was deaf now. People were unsure how to take the change. Would it still be the same Roselia without Yukina as their lead singer.
That would only be told with time.