Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting a new chapter - I haven't been able to work on the story as much as I expected to this month and I realised if I continued posting weekly, I would run out of new chapters to post pretty soon.
So, to space things out a bit, I'm posting every two weeks this month... I'll probably post chapter 6 in two weeks as well, and then hopefully I can get back to weekly updates again.
Chapter Five
February 2019
"Hey, Veronica?" says Keith, appearing in her office door, eyes on the case file in his hands.
"What can I do ya for, Pops?" she quips, flashing him a smile. "Is the Sheriff engaging in shady business again? Oh, no, wait… you're the Sheriff's shady business."
"Very funny." He finally looks up from the file. "And the Sheriff is fine, thank you very much. I was going to ask if you'd made any headway on the Dawson case?"
"Not as much as I'd like." Veronica reaches for a thin file, holds it out to him. "Here."
Keith steps forward and takes it from her, sinking into the chair on the other side of her desk as he flips through what little there is of it.
"I did some recon earlier this week," Veronica says, "but I didn't get anything useful. He just went to a couple of normal lunch meetings."
"Well, that's disappointing."
"Tell me about it." She bobs her eyebrows in annoyance. "I thought maybe I'd try the accountant angle next, see if that works."
"Good idea." Keith returns the file to her desk, then leans back in his chair, looking at her thoughtfully.
"What?" she asks, feeling the weight of his gaze. "Something on my face?"
"No." He shakes his head.
"Okay. So…?" she prompts.
"So…what?"
She sighs. "So, why are you looking at me like that?"
He doesn't say anything, and for a moment, Veronica thinks he's not going to continue, but then he finally starts talking. "Veronica, are you sure about this move to Virginia?"
She frowns. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, it's the other side of the country."
"Dad, I lived in New York for over three years," she counters with a raised eyebrow. "I think I'll be okay. Besides, you were the one who wanted me to stay out there instead of moving home."
"I know I did, but things are different now." he says. "You're settled here; you have a great home, a job you enjoy, your friends and family nearby…"
"Dad, Logan's my family," she states firmly. "He's my husband, and that makes him the most important person in my life now." She sighs. "Look, we've been married a year already and we've only spent about three months of it together." Her voice rises as she continues, "But now we finally have the chance to start our marriage properly, without any deployments getting in the way, and I'm not going to spend that time away from him."
"Veronica…" Keith looks concerned by her sudden outburst.
She stops, taking a calming breath, before continuing more softly, "Look, Dad, I wish it wasn't Virginia; it would be so much easier if he could stay in San Diego, but it doesn't work that way." She swallows, working to keep her voice steady. "He has to go; he doesn't have a choice. But I do, and I'm choosing to go with him. Because I love him."
"I know you do." Her father's expression softens. "But Veronica, you're my daughter; I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Dad," she says quickly, though she can't help averting her eyes as she speaks.
She can still feel his steady gaze on her and forces herself to look back at him again. Eventually, she sighs in defeat.
"Okay, fine. I'm not completely happy," she admits, sinking back in her chair in defeat. "I am settled here. I do love our house, and this job, and having everyone close by." She gives a helpless shrug. "God, what the hell am I supposed to do in Virginia? I mean, Mac said I should set up a PI business there, which a cool idea, but I don't know… it would be hard starting from scratch, and it just wouldn't be the same without you guys. We're a great team here, you know? I don't wanna go it alone."
"Oh, honey…" Keith gives a soft sigh. "I wish I had an easy solution, but…"
"I know." She shakes her head. "I just have to grin and bear it for the next…" She does a quick mental calculation. "…two years and nine months."
Her dad looks thoughtful for a moment. "You said Tim and Sarah were heading out there too?"
"Yeah." She nods. "He flew out last week, and Sarah and Ava join him at the end of the month."
"Well, I guess that'll give you some company." He smiles encouragingly.
Veronica nods again. "I'm really glad they'll be there too. Sarah's a good friend and Ava is just the most adorable little girl." She sees Keith trying to suppress a smirk and frowns. "What?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head, then smiles widely. "Just never thought I'd see the day you went gaga over a toddler."
"Oh, ha ha." She shoots him a withering look, but he ignores it, continuing to look at her thoughtfully.
"I know it's been a while since we talked about it," he says, "but did you ever give more thought to having any of your own?"
"Dad." Veronica scoffs, waving a dismissive hand, though inside her heart is beating fast. She and Logan haven't told anyone they're trying for a baby yet. "Come on."
But her father is perceptive and she knows he can see right through it.
"Veronica…?" he asks expectantly.
"Okay, yes," she relents. "I've given it some thought—we've given it some thought."
"And?"
Veronica fights the urge to roll her eyes. He's really not gonna give up until I spill, is he?
"And…" She licks her lips, a knot forming in her stomach as she braces herself to say it. "We're trying for a baby."
"Oh, Veronica…" Keith sits up, breaking into a wide grin, his eyes shining with emotion. "Really? That's great news."
"Yeah." She can't help but return the smile. "It is."
His grin drops a little. "I sense a 'but' coming…"
"Yeah." She gives a soft sigh, not really wanting to verbally acknowledge the niggle that's been plaguing her for the last couple weeks. "I mean, this is our best opportunity, with Logan on shore rotation for three years. It's good timing. It's just… he's not here. I've only seen him once in the last month, and who knows if we'll see each other again before March. That's not exactly conducive to baby-making."
Her father shifts in his seat, looking a little uncomfortable at the turn the conversation is taking.
"It's only for a few more weeks, though, right?" he reasons, then cringes slightly as he says the next words. "Then you'll be, uh, together, all the time."
"Yeah." She nods, purposely ignoring his unease about the subject. "It just feels like we're wasting time right now, you know?"
"Veronica, listen." Keith sits forward, expression kind. "Don't be so hard on yourself, okay? You can't plan everything. If it's meant to happen, it will, and whenever that is, it'll be the right time."
"Yeah," she murmurs, nodding in agreement as she lets his words sink in. "It just feels like my life has been on hold for the last year… and just when I think it's starting to move forward again, something else gets in the way."
"I know, honey," says Keith. "But these things happen. It won't be long before Logan's back and these few weeks will be a distant memory."
"I know." She smiles. "Thanks, Dad."
"Anytime, sweetheart." He moves to stand. "But for the record, in here…" He taps his temple. "… you're still my sweet, innocent daughter, and I do not need to know anything about your sex life."
"Got it, Pops." That makes her grin, her body relaxing finally. "Thank you for listening."
"Like I said, anytime." He smiles and gives a nod of acknowledgement, before slipping out of the door.
When Veronica lets herself into her house the evening after Valentine's Day, she wants nothing more than to curl up in bed with a glass of wine and a tub of ice cream and watch a movie. It's Friday night, she feels like crap, and she's just a little pissed at Logan for being too busy to call her yesterday. In fact, all she got from him was a lousy text message. Okay, so it was actually a sweet, romantic, verging-on-naughty text message, but that's beside the point. She's in a bad mood and she needs someone to take it out on, even if it's only in her head.
Her first clue that something's up should be when Pony doesn't come to the door to greet her, but it's actually not until she notices that the table lamp in the living room is on that she realises there's someone else home. Her first thought is that her dad has dropped by—he has a spare key in case of emergencies—but his car's not outside and he usually calls first.
Her eyes widen in surprise when she rounds the corner to see Logan sitting on the sofa, Pony curled up beside him, her head in his lap as he gently strokes her head.
"Honey, I'm home," he deadpans, smiling at her as she steps into the room.
"What are you doing here?" She doesn't mean for it to come out snappy, but it does all the same. "Thought you couldn't make it back for a couple more weeks?"
He frowns, easing Pony off his lap and standing up, crossing the room to her.
"Training finished early today," he says. "And I just made it onto a last-minute flight back. I wanted to make up for not calling yesterday."
"Right," she says faintly, trying and failing to muster a suitable amount of enthusiasm.
He leans down, presses a kiss to her lips. "Happy Valentine's."
"Yeah."
He pulls back, looking confused… and a little hurt. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She shakes her head. "Happy Valentine's, Logan."
She turns toward the kitchen, but he stops her with a hand on her arm. "Hey, I know better than to believe a woman when she says nothing's wrong."
"I'm tired, Logan," she says, letting out a sigh. "And I wasn't expecting company."
"Well, gee, thanks a lot." He gives a scoff, pulling his hand back and running it through his hair. "I'm tired too, but I decided spending time with my wife was more important. I wouldn't have spent four hours getting here if I'd realised I wasn't wanted."
"Oh, fuck you, Logan," she snaps, not in the mood to deal with… well, anything tonight. "You don't get to put the blame on me. I'm not the one who just showed up out of the blue and expected me to drop everything."
This time she does head for the kitchen, brushing past him and striding straight to the freezer. She pulls out a tub of cookie dough ice cream and tugs the lid off, then retrieves a spoon, and begins digging in forcefully.
"Veronica…" Logan follows her to the kitchen area. "Please…"
"Please what, Logan?" she retorts. "You're not getting sex tonight, if that's what you're after. So you can just stop right there."
He does, halting in his tracks, his expression a mixture of surprise and concern. "Are you okay?"
She snorts. "Am I okay? Seriously, that's all you got?"
"Fine, you're obviously not okay," he relents. "What can I do?"
"You can go back to Nevada and leave me alone." She knows she's being bitchy and mean, but she just can't seem to stop the words coming out of her mouth.
"Right." He blinks, looking irked. "Well, that's not happening, so what's the second option?"
She digs angrily into the ice cream again, avoiding his gaze. "There isn't one. That's it."
He lets out a sigh and from beneath her lowered lashes, she sees him cross the room. A second later, the ice cream tub and spoon are plucked from her hands and placed on the counter beside her.
"Hey, come on. I just want to help," Logan says, tone more gentle than the tension in his body would indicate. He takes her cold hands in his, his skin warming her fingers. "Look, why don't I get the hot tub running, let the bubbles do their soothing job?"
"No, Logan…" she protests quickly. "I don't want—"
He cuts her off, "And afterwards, I'll give you a nice, relaxing massage, get rid of all that tension…"
As his tone turns seductive, she wrenches her hands from his and steps away from him. "I said no, Logan."
His jaw clenches and he takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly. "Okay, you have to talk to me, Veronica. What's going on?"
She looks up at him properly now, eyes locking with his until she feels the tell-tale prick of tears and she blinks, trying to keep them at bay.
"I've just had a horrid two days," she admits. "I'm tired, I have a headache and my stomach hurts. All I wanted to do tonight was curl up in bed with some ice cream and a movie and feel sorry for myself." She sighs, softening her tone. "So, this was about the worst moment you could have chosen to come home."
Her stomach clenches at the same time that the pain in her head worsens and she folds in on herself a little.
"Come here," Logan says gently, stepping up to her again, this time sliding his arms around her, gently rubbing up and down her back. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you weren't feeling well. You think you're coming down with something?"
"No. I'm fine." She shakes her head. "I'm just on my period."
"Ah," he says in understanding. "Hence, the headache, the tiredness… the no sex."
"It's not just that," she admits reluctantly, not wanting to verbalise it because it'll just make it real. "It also means I'm not pregnant."
Logan's hands still on her back. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"And you thought you were?"
Veronica shrugs, feeling stupid for thinking it now.
"Maybe… I wasn't sure," she says. "It's been nearly a month since we last… and I thought I was late, but then I remembered that my cycle's all screwed up from stopping the pill, so who knows what 'late' is anyway? I was feeling shitty today to start with, and realising that just pushed me over the edge. You came home in the middle of it."
"I'm sorry."
She shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry. You came all this way to see me and I'm being a bitch."
"I can take it," he murmurs, stroking the back of her hair as she lets her forehead rest against his chest.
"That's not the point," she mutters tiredly. "You shouldn't have to."
"Listen," he says, tone soothing. "Don't let me ruin your plans for the night, okay? You do whatever you were going to do. If you wanna be alone, I can make myself scarce."
"You don't have to do that." Veronica lifts her head, looking up at him, her body warming at the sight of his soft smile. "How do you feel about being an honorary girlfriend for the night? You can join me in binging on ice-cream and popcorn and The Big Lebowski."
"Sure." Logan smiles, but then adds, "But be warned, I am not engaging in any girl talk."
"Wouldn't dream of making you," she responds, feeling calmer already. "Though, on second thoughts, I might have to engage your massaging services after all, 'cause everything hurts."
"Whatever I can do to help you feel better." He nods easily, lowering his head to press a soft kiss to her lips, as his palms run up and down her back. The touch causes her to sag in relief, relaxing against him. "Why don't you go set up the movie and I'll get the popcorn and ice-cream."
"And wine, too?" She offers a pleading smile. "There's a bottle of red in the cupboard."
Logan drops a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Anything you want."
Veronica steps out of his embrace, letting a relaxed smile cross her lips as she makes her way down the hall to their bedroom.
An hour later, the ice-cream is finished, the tub discarded on the nightstand with two spoons balanced inside, and the popcorn bowl is half-empty. The movie continues to play in the background, but Veronica is fast asleep on her stomach beside him. Logan smiles down at her as he reaches across to smooth her hair back from her cheek.
When he got on the plane earlier this evening, he was envisioning a belated Valentine's celebration consisting of a weekend of extremely satisfying sex. What he got instead was a tired, irritable, and hormonal Veronica who just needed to be looked after. As soon as the ice cream was gone, and she was feeling pleasantly warm from the wine, he took matters into his own hands and made her lie down for a massage. It was only a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep under his touch.
He flicks off the TV and slides under the covers, turning on his side, propping his head on his hand as he watches her sleep. He has to admit, Valentine's isn't the only reason he wanted to come back to Neptune this weekend. Truth is, he's been having a harder time with the SFTI training than he expected and he needed some space from it. It's not just that he's training with the best pilots in the country, it's that being back in that environment again, training for air-to-air and air-to-ground warfare, is bringing back some unwanted memories—ones he thought he'd dealt with already and had moved past.
He thought getting away from the base would help to clear his head, and if he's honest, he was also hoping to talk to Veronica and seek some comfort from her, but, of course, he hadn't expected to arrive home to her own emotional meltdown.
He's pulled from his thoughts when she stirs in her sleep, turning onto her side and facing away from him. He takes the opportunity to shift closer, spooning his body around hers. His arm slips around her waist and he rests his palm over her stomach comfortingly as he drifts off to sleep.
Veronica is startled awake in the middle of the night by a moan and kick to the back of her leg. She gasps in surprise, hand coming to her chest to calm her pounding heart.
"What the—?"
She turns to find Logan tossing and turning in the bed, muttering something unintelligible in his sleep.
"Shit," she mutters.
He's having nightmares again? Why didn't he say anything?
He's suffered with nightmares before; it happened in those couple of months after Bilbo died, and again when he got back from this latest deployment, but he sought help, and after a few weeks they stopped and he seemed okay again. She thought he was fine now—in fact, he insisted he was—but obviously that's not the case.
Shifting onto her side, she reaches out, gently brushing his cheek with the back of her hand. From past experience, she's learned it's best not to wake him, so all she can do is offer some support and hopes it helps to relax him.
"Hey, it's okay," she murmurs softly, adjusting her position and resting her head on the pillow alongside him, so she can run her fingers through his hair. He relaxes under her touch, his movements calming somewhat, though he continues to mutter unintelligibly under his breath. "You're okay. It's just a dream."
He jerks beneath her fingers then, and for a moment, she thinks he's going to wake, but then he settles alongside her, the muttering ceasing and his breathing returning to normal. She lies with him for a few more minutes, until she's sure the nightmare is over, then presses a kiss to his forehead, before moving back to her side of the bed.
When she wakes a few hours later, the morning sunlight is streaming into their bedroom, and Logan's gone. She blinks in confusion, wondering if maybe she dreamed it all and he's still in Nevada after all, but then she hears the shower running and breathes a sigh of relief. For a moment, she's tempted to go in there and join him, but then her stomach gives an unpleasant twinge and she remembers exactly why she was in such a crappy mood last night.
Goddamn period, ruining everything. She flops back down on the bed, rubbing her belly absently.
She's still lying there when Logan reappears a few minutes later, towel around his waist. Veronica's eyes linger on his bare chest and back as he moves across the room to grab some clothes, but she can't seem to muster the energy to move.
As he tugs on a pair of boxers, he glances over at her, notices she's awake, and flashes her a smile. "Morning. How're you feeling?"
"Better, thanks," she says, pulling herself up into a sitting position so she can see him properly. "How about you?"
"I'm fine." He shrugs, then frowns, studying her warily. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You had a nightmare last night," she says in explanation.
"I did?" He avoids her gaze, reaching for a shirt and pulling it over his head.
"Uh huh." She nods, eyes narrowing. "I thought you weren't getting them anymore?"
"I'm not."
He still won't look at her though, just occupies himself with digging around in the dresser, which tells her all she needs to know.
"How long?" she asks.
He sighs as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants, then sits down on the bed and finally turns to face her.
"A couple weeks," he admits.
Veronica's chest tightens at the despondent expression on his face. "What's going on, Logan?"
"I don't know, Veronica." He shakes his head, shifting on the bed so he's sitting beside her, propped against the pillows. "I thought I was over it, you know, being back home again, away from it all…"
"But?" She reaches across and places her hand over his, entwining their fingers.
"This training is kicking my ass," he admits, running his free hand over his forehead. "It's all air warfare focused—air-to-air and air-to-ground combat training—and we're out in the desert, and some days I just… forget, you know, that it's not real. That I'm not still there."
"Oh, Logan…" Her heart aches for him. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," he mutters.
She shifts a little so she can face him. "You know, if it's got to the point where it's affecting you psychologically, you can always quit the training."
"No." He shakes his head vehemently. "No, I can't, Veronica."
She gives a soft sigh. Damn that male pride of his.
"You can," she tells him firmly. "If it's so bad you're overworked and stressed, and you're getting nightmares again, then it might be the best thing for you."
"You don't understand," he says, more forcefully. "I can't. If I drop out now, that's my career down the fucking toilet. If I quit because of this, I'm admitting that I can't handle the pressure, that I can't handle any more deployments. I am not having them declaring me unfit to fly."
"Logan..."
He sighs. "Don't look at me like that, Veronica."
"Like what?"
"Like you feel sorry for me."
"I'm not." Okay, yeah, maybe I kind of am.
"I will get through this, okay?" He squeezes her hand. "I'm gonna show them I have what it takes."
"Okay, then," she agrees, pushing down everything she really wants to say. She knows better than to argue when his mind is made up. "If you feel you can handle it."
She moves closer, bringing a hand up to cup his jaw, forcing him to look at her.
"But be sensible, okay?" she says seriously. "And don't be afraid to ask for help. I don't want to find out you've done something stupid because you've pushed yourself too hard and burned out."
"I promise."
She studies him for a moment. He looks sincere, but then again, he is the son of two actors… and she knows how much his job means to him. She wouldn't put it past him to pretend he's fine just so he can fly.
"Thank you." She smiles, then leans in to kiss him. "And remember: I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you, ever."
"I know." He nods. "And me either."
He leans in to kiss her this time, and they sit together on the bed for a few more moments, just absorbing it all, until Veronica breaks the silence.
"I'm sorry about last night," she says softly. "Can we start over?"
"Sure." He gives a soft smile.
"Okay." She slides off the bed, then pats the mattress. "You just sit on the edge, here, and I'll be right back."
Logan shoots her a puzzled look, but complies, and she heads into the bathroom. She gives it a second, then steps back out into the bedroom, feigning shock when she sees him perched on the bed.
"Oh my God, Logan." She gives a gasp of shocked surprise, hand coming to rest over her heart. "What are you doing here?"
He grins, looking like he's trying not to laugh as he responds, "Training finished early and I wanted to surprise you; make up for missing Valentine's Day."
He stands, stepping toward her as Veronica crosses the room and they meet in the middle. Her arms come around his shoulders as she rises up on tiptoes as her fingers curl around the back of his neck.
"I'm so glad you're here," she says, bringing his mouth down to hers for an enthusiastic kiss.
When they come up for air, she looks up at him with a mischievous grin. "How was that?"
He slides his arms around her waist, palms resting on her lower back as he smiles down at her. "It was perfect."