Chapter 8: Lorelai
Trix
Rory had not left Aunt Floria's side since they'd met at Emily's funeral for any significant time except to change into new clothes for Lorelai's funeral.
Aunt Floria was dressed almost exactly the same, though even she had conceded to the second Lorelai's request for colour at the service by adding a dark green shawl to her ensemble.
So dark green as to be almost black.
It was still the most colour anyone had seen on the woman in over half a century.
Cousin William had almost choked on his cup of coffee when he had seen his mother in the shawl.
Rory on the other hand had been delighted.
Throughout the afternoon the six year old had been having hushed conversations with her many times great aunt. Conversations that neither Lorelai nor Richard were privy to.
Lorelai had remained calm though.
Her aunt could be a woman with few scruples but she had never ever harmed children. Spoken uncomfortable truths to them certainly, manipulated them absolutely, but the woman had never harmed them.
The truths were always ones they needed to hear.
The manipulations? Only ever for the child's ultimate benefit. Even Richard would agree with that from his own experiences.
Harm them? Never.
That was not to say that Lorelai would not keep a very watchful eye over the interactions that Rory had with Floria. Her Aunt was capable of horrible things if someone attracted her ire and while she might not take out her frustrations on Rory that didn't mean Richard or Lorelai were safe. Then again Lorelai wasn't one to judge Floria given Lorelai's own past actions.
She had helped her aunt willingly on more than once occasion and didn't regret it. Even if they had been mostly estranged since Emily had married Richard.
The death of Emily brought a reconciliation of sort with her aunt. Something which Lorelai, though glad of, also felt hideously guilty about.
And she was already feeling pretty terrible for she was at her only grandchild's funeral.
Lorelai had been feistiness and colour all her life and it showed at her funeral.
It was an eccentric cast of characters who had come from the small town her granddaughter had escaped to.
Even the Reverend himself was a character. The man had met Lorelai on many occasions as the girl worked in and around the inn where the Reverend had a weekly dinner with the town's Rabbi of all people (who was also incidentally at the service).
The service itself was brief. There was colour, and music, and laugher.
Until the family crypt.
It did not escape Lorelai's attention that the only truly sombre moment of the entire funeral was the music Lorelai choose to use during her final internment.
The intermezzo from Manon Lescaut.
What better way for Lorelai the second to symbolise her internal imprisonment than a piece that was directly tied to a character that found no escape from her circumstances despite trying very desperately to do so.
If Lorelai the second had been older, perhaps the music would have been changed. In many respects the funeral still represented a fiery teenager who thought herself immortal. Filled throughout with a few subtle (and far more unsubtle) jabs at her parents. A funeral from a rebellious teenager designed to wound. Never one that was meant to have actually been put into practise. Especially as Lorelai knew that her granddaughter would rather have died than actually attend an opera, or have one included in her own funeral, if it was the real deal.
Fate does love its cruel ironies.
The funeral that was never meant to be happened.
The corpse who never planned to be one so young was so.
A dead girl whose planned rebellious funeral, a slight that she never really thought would happen, happened.
An act of rebellion against a mother too dead to care and a father too devastated to ever notice any slight against him.
If it was a victory it was the most pyrrhic Lorelai had ever seen.
Shortly the ceremony was over once again.
Lorelai noticed that unlike with Emily's funeral Rory had not shed a tear.
Which was somewhat concerning. It was quickly rendered a secondary concern however as Lorelai found herself having to deal with the singular peculiarity that was the residents of Stars Hollow.
The sheer amount of eccentric town's people was something to behold.
Lorelai it seemed had managed to make friends even with the limited free time her job at the inn granted her.
Even the town selectman, a pompous fellow that grated on Lorelai's nerves a great deal, was apparently acting on his best behaviour according to Mia Bass.
Lorelai was delighted when she saw that Luke Danes had decided to pay his respects.
The man had grumbled an excuse that it was the decent thing to do. Especially as even Taylor (the bothersome town selectman) was coming and Luke Danes' would apparently be damned if Taylor Doose of all people would have something over him.
A boisterous flowery woman, who had introduced herself as Patricia LaCosta ("Miss Patty dear" added on in a half sultry tone at the end of the introduction), was most upset at the prospect that Rory would no longer have the opportunity to attend ballet class.
Lorelai had almost choked on the gin and tonic she had been drinking.
Gilmores were not ballet dancers.
They did not have the balance for ballet. If a Gilmore had to learn a type of dance that wasn't ballroom then tap was about the best they could do.
Gilmore's did poorly with dance in general if Lorelai was being honest.
Gilmores needed structure, precise movements that could be codified. They would have little success in standing en pointe. Tap they did comparatively better at.
Lorelai quickly changed the potential ballet lesson to one of tap.
Crisis averted.
She and Richard had discussed that a gentle transition away from Stars Hollow would probably benefit Rory far more than an abrupt one. It would do no harm to the girl to finish out her kindergarten year in the company of her first friends before joining Chilton. A dance class would be a nice experience as well.
Lorelai was glad that there were still spaces for Chilton. It was a good school. It had done no harm to Marilynn, unlike her niece's horrible first year at College, and Rory had the society standing (if she utilised it correctly) to climb to the top of the social tree there.
Marilynn had headed the Puff's during her time after all.
Lorelai regretted thinking on the subject of Marilynn when the woman herself appeared before her.
Her eyes were red, almost certainly from crying.
Lorelai doubted it was over the second Lorelai though.
"Did your aunt have to attack Mitchum and his wife like that?" Marilynn questioned. "Did she have to make a fool of them?"
Lorelai and her niece got along fine 99% of the time. Better than fine even. Especially when Lorelai was across the ocean you would find it most peculiar to hear a bad word come from Marilynn Gilmore's mouth on Lorelai Gilmore.
Unless it was about the Huntzbergers.
It had been over forty years since that unpleasant affair and still Marilynn had not yet truly accepted that Lorelai had acted for Marilynn's own good.
Elias was a cheater plain and simple. For a man to break an engagement in such a manner was the height of poor taste. Especially when the man in question begged and crawled at Lorelai's feet to try and make things right. As if such a slight could be easily forgiven.
Cheaters should never prosper.
That Marilynn had at first been prepared to forgive, had been prepared to go through with what would have been a sham of a wedding after the fact, was simply neither here nor there.
The fact Lorelai had been proved right a thousand times since, vindicated completely (in her opinion) the actions Lorelai had taken years before.
Aunt Floria had smiled when she had been told of the incident. Of course Floria's husband had been loyal to the grave.
That the grave happened less than ten years into Floria and Wyndham's marriage was of no particular consequence with regards to holding such a high standard.
"Marilyn." Lorelai began gently. "Floria only responded to an insult. A grievous one to someone of Floria's station. Mitchum's reputation wasn't damaged to any extent more than common society gossip exposed as true. As for Elias… We both know what my aunt said was accurate. What Elias has done in the past does go beyond the pale. Don't forget how he hurt you so Mari"
Marilynn wasn't listening and quickly ran to Totsi for comfort, despite Totsi being six years Marilynn's junior. Totsi incidentally, was clearly getting into the swing of things conversing with "Miss Patty".
Lorelai hoped Totsi didn't end up hugging the poor Stars Hollow woman as was her habit.
For Miss Patty's sake.
Rory
Rory had been thinking a lot the past few days. Ever since the salad.
Because, Mummy had been wrong about the salad.
And once Rory realised she had been wrong about salad she had begun to question other things Mummy had said as well.
Then she had talked to aunt Floria and the questions had become bigger.
Which had led her to realise a lot of things but one thing in particular.
Rory wasn't sure she liked her Mummy any more.
Telling the truth was good. Mummy and all the other adults said so.
But Mummy? Mummy had lied…
A lot.
Many things that Rory had thought were true, that Mummy had said were true, just weren't any more.
To start with:
1. Mummy's parents could be mean and stupid.
Mummy had liked to make jokes about it. Rory didn't really agree at the time. Now she knew for sure Mummy was wrong.
It was just not true. Grandad was great and so was Trix. Grandma was great as well. Grandma had brought Daddy to Christmas after all! It had been the best idea ever.
And Mummy hated it.
That led to Rory realising another lie by Mummy:
2. Daddy wanted to be there at Christmas, and her birthday, but Mummy said he couldn't come because he was busy.
It was not true. Mummy showed as much when Daddy was there on Christmas (for the first time!) and Mummy was mean to him and Grandma. Mummy didn't think Daddy should be there on Christmas. Had there been other Christmases where Daddy wanted to come but wasn't allowed? Birthdays?
Rory thought there probably had been.
There could have been more Christmases spent in the nice big house where Grandma and Grandpa lived. Happier birthdays as well. Which led of course to lie number three:
3. The shed at the Independence inn was an awesome place to live. The best place to live.
It was not true. Rory had her own room at Grandpa's house. Her own room! All belonging to her, with a proper bed and everything else. She had never had all that before! Aunt Floria was surprised when Rory asked Floria she and Mummy didn't live with Grandma and Grandpa before the accident. If there was space to have her own room why did mummy and her live in Star's Hollow?
"Rory." Aunt Floria had said kindly. "You lived with them till you were nearly a year old. Then your mother ran away with you. They tried looking but couldn't find you until your mother let them know where she was."
The cot in the shed wasn't as nice as Rory's new bed. Not in the slightest.
That lie made Rory angry. Rory loved Mia but why were they living at the inn when they could have lived with Grandma and Grandpa? It didn't make any sense.
It was this lie that made Rory realise the last two lies. The lies that hurt the most. The first of the last two lies had made Rory very sad:
4. Mummy was proud of her.
Mummy had said it all the time. It was almost like a catchphrase. Rory had believed it. Only when Mummy was gone did she realise something.
It was not true.
"Mommy I can write my name now!" Rory had said one day after pre-school. It was before all the other kids even knew most of their letters.
"That's great hun." Mum had said, tiredly, before going to sleep almost straight away.
Sookie had said that Mum had worked a long shift and was too tired to really notice what Rory said. Rory had learned this much later when Rory had asked her why Mummy didn't care about her learning, shortly after Grandma's funeral.
Rory just knew at the time that Mummy had forgotten Rory's big news when she woke up the next morning. She had never mentioned it at breakfast.
It had taken three days before Mummy had realised what had happened. By then it felt a little too late.
A lot too late.
Trix, Grandpa, Aunt Hope, and especially Aunt Floria? They had all remembered when Rory had done something clever. They had all been really proud. They'd given hugs and smiled and made a big deal of it.
Straight away.
There had been other times as well where Mummy hadn't noticed. Or forgotten. All of which Rory remembered. All of which exposed the biggest lie of all. The one Rory had been told most often:
5. Mommy loves you more than anything else, or anyone else, in the whole world.
This hurt the most. Because Rory wished more than anything that it was true.
But it wasn't
Mummy preferred fighting with Grandma and Daddy than spending a happy Christmas with them all together.
As a family.
Now Grandma and Daddy were dead because Mummy would rather run away than give Rory what she wanted more than anything for Christmas.
Even if Mummy would have had to pretend could she not at least have tried?
If she really loved Rory as much as she said Rory thought she would have.
Daddy had loved Rory enough to hug her goodbye. Daddy wanted to be a family. Rory could tell.
Mummy had just stormed out of the house arguing with grandma. She hadn't said goodbye. She clearly didn't care.
Grandpa was right. It wasn't Rory's fault everything had gone wrong. Rory didn't know why she had blamed herself before. Only one person was really to blame. Only one person caused all the bad stuff to happen. Only one person whose fault it was.
It was Mummy.
Rory still loved her Mummy, but she knew it was less than before, a lot less, and she wasn't sure she liked her any more at all, maybe not even a little.
Not with all those lies. Not with what happened to Grandma and Daddy. Because it wasn't Rory's fault at all.
Rory knew who to blame.
Which was probably why Rory didn't cry at Mummy's funeral.
At all.
Richard
Richard watched his granddaughter throughout Lorelai's funeral.
She didn't cry. Once.
It was when his great aunt looked at the girl, baffled at the complete lack of emotional response from Richard's granddaughter, that Richard realised that for once the mostly heartless old woman might not be at fault.
Because if his great aunt had no idea then things truly had gone off the rails.
Richard was almost afraid to talk to his granddaughter. Perhaps she was in shock.
Unfortunately she wasn't.
"Rory? Aren't you sad?" Richard said comfortingly. "It's ok to cry you know. I know you loved your mother very much."
The answer Richard could never have seen coming.
"I'm not really sad." Rory said in as even a voice as six year old could have at a funeral. Especially that of her mother. "Not anymore."
"It's Mummy's fault you see. I thought really hard and it's true." Rory said in the same tone of voice as if she was discussing the weather. It did not escape Richard's attention that Rory had already changed how she referred to her mother. It wasn't just the usage of the British term (Floria's influence rearing its head already). There was a new detachment in Rory's usage. A new distance. As if the little girl was holding Richard's daughter further away from her heart. The next sentence though Richard could never have seen coming.
"It's Mummy's fault Grandma and Daddy are dead Grandpa."
Richard was horrified.
Horrified at what his granddaughter has said.
Horrified at what he suspects his granddaughter has concluded of her own volition because not even Floria would have put such an idea into Rory's head.
Horrified that a six year old can think that her mother can be blamed for two such pivotal deaths in her life.
Horrified at the little girl's coolness towards the person who had been the most important person to her. .
But Richard is most horrified of all because in many respect his granddaughter has ascertained the most horrifying thing of all.
The truth of the situation.
Of all the figures to blame in the disaster that was the accident (that were not the driver) it was Lorelai who was the most culpable. It was Lorelai who escalated a conversation into an argument. It was Lorelai who walked out of the house as Emily followed. It was Lorelai who got into the car. It was Lorelai who drove away.
Richard knew Lorelai was not the true villain of the situation. That would always be the idiotic drunk driver. But Lorelai was the key factor in putting the others in the situation in the first place.
Richard found himself feeling mildly angry for a moment at his own dead daughter before almost being washed away by a wave of guilt at blaming his only child for her accidental death. It was folly blaming the victim of a criminal. Pure folly.
Richard realises then though that he is already too late. It he experiences anger at his daughter, if only briefly, what must Rory be feeling? Without all the additional information of the long feud and Emily's tendency towards manipulation what caused Rory to settle on this idea?
In reality though the reasons don't really matter. Not anymore.
The ship has sailed. The die is cast. The Rubicon crossed.
Rory is a bright six year old and Richard has no doubt for her to reach the conclusion she has, which in many respects should be an alien idea to a small child, nothing but outright lies will now sway her from it.
Which Richard can't do.
Richard can introduce Rory to family member after family member who she will love, let her meet new friends (and keep old ones) she'll adore, but his granddaughter has hit upon something close to the ugly truth of why she is an orphan at six years old…
Richard hopes she will forget it, find another person to blame, but in his heart he suspects she never will. Richard could dissuade Rory from the idea that the crash were her fault because that was blatantly untrue.
He fears he cannot deter her from the view Rory now has of her mother because that is based around something much closer to fact.
Uncomfortably close in fact.
Trix is next to him before he knows it.
From the look of horror on his mother's face Richard knows that she had heard what Rory has said as well and has come to the same conclusion as he has.
Richard will give anything to escape this situation. He will take anyone as a distraction.
He is delivered Straub and Francine Hayden.
"Richard I know we didn't get a chance to properly meet Rory earlier do you think it's possible now?" Straub asked politely the girl in question within earshot.
Richard could very nearly kiss the man.
He would take awkward familial introductions any day over having to talk more with Rory about Rory's new theory regarding his daughter and her culpability in the death of Rory's grandmother and father.
Rory proves her intelligence very quickly with the original plan of a slow introduction of Straub and Francine as additional grandparents quickly shot apart.
As Richard reintroduces Straub to Rory Richard notices her look at Straub's face.
"I didn't notice it at first but your nose looks a lot like my daddy's did? Your whole face actually. Like grandma and mommy were similar? Are you his daddy? You're the right age I think?" Rory says.
Straub is immediately lost for words.
Francine however is quickly laughing.
"You must be daddy's Mummy?" Rory says. "If you are married to Mister Straub."
Straub recovers himself promptly after that. Francine is still laughing.
"You are right Rory I am your grandfather and my wife Francine is your grandmother."
"I have more family." Rory said excitedly. "Trix I have more family." Rory told her great grandmother as if the information was somehow new to her.
"I'm going to tell Aunt Floria." The little girl said before running away.
Richard was slightly flabbergasted. Despite Rory's intelligence she still had a six year old's exuberance.
"Well that went better than expected." Straub commented softly.
"I'll say." Francine said still giggling.
Richard expected his mother to comment only to find Trix staring at a man in his early eighties who had come with the others from Star Hollow. The man was currently being badgered by the obnoxious town selectman.
"I thought he was dead." His mother whispered in shock. "I've thought he's been dead for over sixty years."
"Mother." Richard questioned.
"I need to speak to him now. If just to thank him. He saved the family Richard." His mother spoke fervently and started to make her way towards the man. "We'd be nothing without him now. Nothing."
Saved the family? This was a story Richard did not know at all. An intriguing prospect that helped to bury Rory's frightening new perspective on her mother at the very back of his mind.
"Who is he Trix?" Richard asked puzzled but also eager to know. "Who is that man?"
"Joshua Twickham." His mother replied.
Well this was a difficult chapter to write although if you look back the seeds for Rory's new perspective on her mother have been planted throughout. Through Rory's eyes her mother has let her down while through older eyes we can see the flaws in Rory's reasoning. Unfortunately comparatively small defects in Lorelai the seconds character (occasional absent mindedness, running one's mouth and most crucial of all in this case impulsiveness.) have been magnified by the accident and led Rory to the partially correct conclusion her mother is the cause of it. The feud Lorelai with her parents difficult for a child to understand means Rory cannot empathise with why her mother acted as she did. Unlike in the show there is no easy fix for this. In case it wasn't already clear much of the storyline for this fic has been preplanned. Otherwise I would not be able to have cliffhanger like endings. Don't blame me for this. Blame Dickens instead who pioneered this whole technique in the victorian era. There were riots during The Old Curiosity Shop during it's inital run. Riots! Then again they had to wait months. I am much kinder and promise a chapter will arrive in good time.
Maybe.