Chapter Eight
Mac and Wallace arrive into Norfolk International on the Friday evening of the Easter Weekend, where Veronica greets them with a large grin and enthusiastic hugs. It's been a long, tiring few weeks and she's glad to have her best friends close by again.
"So, where's Logan?" asks Mac as they load their bags into the car.
"He's back home, making dinner," says Veronica, closing the trunk.
"Wow." Wallace slings an arm around her shoulder. "Got him well-trained, haven't you?"
"Shut up." Veronica nudges his side playfully. "He offered. Now get in the car, Papa Bear, or we won't get back in time to eat."
They arrive back at the house in Virginia Beach forty-five minutes later, and after getting Mac set up in the guest bedroom and Wallace on the pull-out couch in the living room, they sit down to dinner.
"I'm so glad you guys are here," says Veronica, as she tucks into the meat and two veg dinner Logan's prepared. "I've missed you."
"We've missed you, too, Supafly." Wallace smiles. "Neptune just isn't the same without you."
"Yeah, it's doesn't feel right without you guys either."
Veronica glances over at Logan, who's watching her with concern. She gives him a small, half-hearted smile and though he seems to relax a little, the worry in his eyes doesn't fully disappear.
"So, what's on the agenda this weekend?" asks Mac then. "You guys gonna show us the fine sights of Virginia Beach?"
"Of course," Logan answers, seeming to sense that Veronica's struggling to muster much enthusiasm today. "We thought maybe tomorrow we could take a drive, show you around."
"Sounds good," replies Wallace.
"And in the evening, what do you think about bowling and then out for dinner?" adds Veronica.
"Great." Mac flashes a smile. "Sounds like a plan."
"It's good to see Mac and Wallace again," ventures Logan as they lie spooned together in bed later that night.
"Uh huh," Veronica murmurs, giving a small nod. "It's good."
"And we're gonna have a great weekend with them," he says as reassuringly as he can. "I promise."
"Right…"
He frowns, tightening his arm around her waist, tugging her a little closer. "Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah," she says, though she sounds distant.
"'Cause, you know, you can talk to me," he says softly, seriously. "About anything."
"I know," she replies, though she doesn't sound particularly sure of herself.
"Veronica," he tries again. "I know you're hurting right now, but it's gonna be okay. I promise."
She makes a sound which seems to be halfway between a scoff and a sob as she turns in his arms.
"You don't know that, Logan," she murmurs, tone filled with sadness. "What if this is it? You know, our whole family; just you and me?"
"Then it'll just be you and me," he tells her gently, reaching out to run his fingers through her hair. "And I will do everything I can to make sure that you're happy, that we're happy, for the rest of our lives."
"I know you will." She sighs. "God, it seems so stupid to be feeling like this. I mean, that's what I always wanted, right? Just you and me. I thought I would be happy without kids… but now…"
"Yeah… I know."
He slides one hand around the back of her neck, urging her close. He kisses her slowly, gently at first, trying to convey his love for her through it. She responds willingly at first, but as he tugs her closer and tries to deepen the kiss, pressing his lower body against hers, she pulls away, shifting onto her back.
"What's wrong?"
She just shakes her head. "I can't. Not tonight."
"Hey, that's okay," he says quickly. "We don't have to."
"It's just…" She sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "I feel like… what's the point, you know? I'm probably damaged goods anyway."
Shit, Veronica. Logan looks at her with dismay. You can't really think…?
"Come on, don't talk like that," he says gently, stroking the back of his hand along her arm. "It's not true."
"No?" she mutters. "You want children; I most likely can't have them… if that's the case, then can we really be happy together?"
"Yes, we can. Come here." He reaches for her again, tugging her into a hug. She buries her head in his chest. "You're not damaged, okay? Something happened to you that wasn't your fault, and it's totally unfair, but no matter what happens, I will always love you and support you. If we can't have kids, then so be it. It's not the end of the world."
"Kinda feels like it right now."
"I know." He kisses the top of her head. "But it won't feel like that forever... and you never know, there might not be anything to worry about after all."
"Strike!" Wallace pumps the air with his fist. "Beat that, Mars."
Veronica grins at him as she stands, ready to take her turn. "Oh, you got it coming, Fennel."
She picks up a ball and tests its weight in her hands, then steps up to the lane and swings her arm back, letting go of the ball. Her gaze stays trained on it as it rolls down the lane.
"Come on, come on, come on." It knocks down eight of the pins, leaving the last two split. "Aw, crap."
"Yes!" Wallace exclaims, rubbing his hands together with glee. "I still got it."
"Yeah, yeah, rub it in." She shoots him a glare.
Her second attempt takes out one of the two pins but not the other and Veronica makes a show of rolling her eyes at Wallace as she takes a seat beside Logan, leaning into him as she reaches for a handful of fries. Logan's arm comes around her back, his fingers resting on her waist, and she smiles in response.
It's Mac's turn next, and she knocks down a pitiful two pins with her first ball, then another four with the second.
"I'm so gonna lose this game," she mutters with a pout as she slumps back down on the other side of Veronica. "I'm crap at bowling."
"Hey, you're not that bad," responds Veronica as Logan gets up to take his turn next. "It's just that we have two show-offs playing with us."
"It's not our fault we're good at bowling," protests Wallace with a grin. "Isn't that right, Echolls?"
"Damn straight," Logan replies, with a grin and a playful bob of his eyebrows.
Veronica just narrows her eyes at him, tutting loudly as Logan expertly bowls a strike.
"You know, I think you and I should just play our own game," she says to Mac. "Let these two battle it out between themselves."
"Aw, come on, Vee… it's no fun with only two," says Wallace. "We need at least four to make the game worthwhile."
"He's got a point," adds Logan as he returns to his spot beside Veronica, his arm coming around her again. "Anyway, isn't this all supposed to be for fun?"
"Yes. It is." Veronica nudges him with her shoulder. "So maybe you and Fennel here should take pity on us poor amateurs."
Logan seems to consider the suggestion for a moment before he turns to Wallace. "Yeah, I guess we should."
Wallace just grins. "Sorry, man, you're on your own there. I refuse to suppress my God-given talents for the sake of my friends."
"Seriously?" Mac rolls her eyes as Wallace moves to collect his ball and take his next turn. "Well, while he's showing off, I'm gonna take a bathroom break. See you in a minute, guys."
As Mac walks away, Logan leans in and rests his chin on Veronica's shoulder.
"You seem happier today," he says softly.
"Yeah." She smiles, turning so she can give him a quick kiss. "Having Mac and Wallace here has been great. A welcome distraction from everything."
"I'm glad." He kisses her again, his fingers tightening on her waist as he does so.
"Vee, you're up." Wallace's voice intrudes on the moment as he sinks down onto the seat beside Veronica. "And please, this is a bowling alley… no one needs to see you guys making out."
Veronica grins against Logan's lips, giving him one last quick kiss, before hopping up to take her turn.
This time, luck is on her side, and she finally gets a strike.
"Yes!" she cheers, clapping her hands together as she turns back to the guys. "See, I can bowl. Sometimes."
"Of course you can, sweetie," Logan replies cheekily, though his eyes sparkle as he grins at her.
Veronica narrows her eyes at him even as she perches on his lap, looping her arm around his neck and letting her fingers run through his short hair. He was right, she thinks, as they wait for Mac to return from the bathroom; she does feel better, happier… at least for now, anyway. Having Wallace and Mac here is amazing, and even though before they arrived, she thought about telling them everything that's been going on, it's nice not to have to think about it for once, to just have fun for a while.
On Easter Monday, Wallace is pulled from his deep slumber by the sound of voices in the kitchen. He yawns, stretching on Veronica and Logan's pull-out couch, before pulling himself up into a sitting position. He stands, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he makes his way toward the kitchen. When he gets to the doorway, however, he freezes, finding Veronica and Logan in the middle of an argument.
"Why don't you just tell them?" says Logan, his tone filled with irritation. "Get it out in the open."
"You were the one who said we should just pretend everything's fine," Veronica shoots back, brushing past Logan and opening the fridge.
"I didn't say that," he protests, turning to face her as she pulls out a carton of milk. "I wasn't expecting you to fucking lie about it. I just meant that we shouldn't let it overshadow everything."
"Yeah, well, that's not how it sounded." Veronica sloshes milk into a coffee mug and jerks the fridge door open again, replacing the carton in the door.
In the kitchen doorway, Wallace isn't sure what to do. He doesn't want to eavesdrop, but it's hard not to, and he's not sure whether to make his presence known or not.
"I'm just saying, maybe it would help," says Logan. "To tell Mac and Wallace."
Tell us what? Wallace thinks. What the hell is going on here?
"And I'm saying, it won't," Veronica counters. "I don't want them to know yet, so, just fucking leave it, okay?"
"Fine," Logan spits out.
"Fine."
Wallace doesn't miss the way Logan reaches for Veronica's arm, or the way she shoots him a glare as she wrenches it free, but it's at that moment Veronica turns toward the door and spots him standing there.
Shit.
"Uh, morning, guys," he says quickly, stifling a yawn as he tries to look like he's only just woken up and hasn't been listening to their conversation. "Sleep well?"
"I'm gonna take Pony out. Get some air," she mutters as she brushes past Wallace.
Wallace watches her go before turning back to Logan with a frown. His best friend's husband's gaze is fixed in the direction Veronica just exited.
"Well, that was tense," Wallace says as he edges his way into the kitchen. "Everything okay?"
"What?" Logan tears his eyes away from the kitchen door as they hear the front door closing, then looks at Wallace with a frown. "Oh, yeah. It's fine."
"Right." Wallace isn't sure he believes him. "Sure."
"Well, I gotta get to the base," Logan announces after his phone pings with a message. "Chaos is giving me a ride so Veronica can take you and Mac to the airport. It was nice to have you guys staying this weekend. Hope you have a good flight back."
"Thanks," Wallace replies, forcing a smile, still a little unsettled from walking in on him and Veronica quarrelling.
A minute later, the front door opens and closes again, and Wallace finds himself alone downstairs. He pours a cup of coffee, then scarfs down a bowl of cereal, and as he's rinsing the bowl, he hears footsteps moving around above him. Mac must be up. He makes her a mug of coffee as well, then heads upstairs. Mac's door is partway open, but he knocks anyway, just in case.
"Come in," she calls out.
"Hey. Morning." Wallace pushes the door open, finding her fully dressed and packing clothes into her small case. "Coffee?"
Mac looks up from her packing, eyes lighting up when she sees the coffee mug. "Please."
She takes it from him, lifting it to her lips for a sip. "Mmm, just what I needed."
"Sleep well?"
"Yeah." She nods. "I think that wine last night helped."
"I'm sure it did." Wallace takes a seat on the end of the bed. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Sure." Mac places the mug down on the nightstand. "What's up?"
"Have you noticed anything weird with Veronica and Logan this weekend?" he asks. "I think something's going on."
Mac frowns. "What kind of something?"
"I don't know." Wallace shrugs. "I just walked in on them arguing downstairs; it seemed pretty heated. When they saw me, Veronica stormed out with Pony, and Logan went to work right after."
Mac shrugs. "They argue all the time. Remember high school and college?"
"Yeah, but not lately," Wallace points out. "They've been almost sickeningly loved up the last couple years."
"Good point," Mac concedes with a tilt of her head. "What were they arguing about?"
"Not sure, but Logan said she should tell us something and Veronica refused. She mentioned something about pretending everything was okay. Then he tried to grab her when she walked away," Wallace tells her, frowning as a thought springs to mind. "Hey, do you think they're separating and are just trying to keep up appearances?"
Mac looks at him incredulously. "No way. After all they've been through to be together? I don't think so."
"Well, something's up," Wallace says decisively. "You haven't noticed how she's trying too hard this weekend? It's like she's channelling her 'Amber' persona or something."
Mac seems to think for a moment, before nodding slowly. "Okay, yeah, I have noticed. She's walking Pony right now?" He nods. "Well, let's ask her when she gets back."
"Okay."
By the time Veronica returns from walking Pony, she's feeling calmer, though still a little pissed at Logan. She doesn't get it; last week, he was all about forgetting about things for a while and having fun with their friends, and now he's on her back about telling them everything. If she's honest, it's not the idea of telling Mac and Wallace what's going on that's got her rankled, it's that it feels like Logan's trying to make the decision for her. Surely, it should be should be up to her to decide whether she tells them or not, after all, she's the one with the problem, not him.
As she enters the house, letting Pony off her leash, she stops short at the sight of Mac and Wallace sitting together on the now-folded up couch, serious expressions on their faces.
"Morning, guys," she says, stepping into the living room. "What's going on?"
Wallace and Mac exchange a glance before Wallace speaks up. "Is everything okay, Vee?"
"Yeah... why wouldn't it be?" She takes a seat in the armchair to her right.
"Well, it's just, you've seemed a bit out of it this weekend," Mac pipes up.
"And you and Logan were arguing this morning," adds Wallace. "About not wanting us to know something."
Veronica frowns, hurt. "You were listening?"
"Not intentionally," Wallace says quickly. "I heard voices in the kitchen and I came to see what was going on."
Veronica looks between her two best friends. "What is this? Some kind of intervention?"
"No, not at all," says Mac. "We're just worried about you... and Logan. About you and Logan. The two of you. Together."
"Huh?" Veronica's feeling even more confused by the second.
"Are you guys having problems?" Wallace lays it out simply.
"What?" She blinks in surprise. "No. Of course not."
"See, I told you." Mac says to Wallace.
Wallace nods in acceptance. "But something is going on with you. What does Logan want you to tell us?"
Veronica purses her lips, lifting her eyes to the ceiling for a moment, before looking back at her friends again. "Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, but—"
"Veronica, come on, we're your best friends," says Mac then. "You can tell us anything. We're here to listen and support you in whatever you need."
A rush of warm emotion fills Veronica's chest and she smiles at her friends. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I'm just not sure I can talk about it right now."
"Okay," Wallace relents. "But you and Logan are okay, right?"
"Yeah, we're okay." She stands pointing toward the kitchen. "I'm just gonna..."
"Sure."
Veronica starts crossing the room, but then stops to reconsider. Maybe she should tell them, maybe it would help to talk about it with someone other than Logan. Making a split decision, she turns back around and sits down again.
"Okay, here's the thing," she starts hesitantly. "At Christmas, Logan and I decided we wanted to have a baby—"
"Oh my God, you're pregnant!" Mac bursts out suddenly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.
I wish, thinks Veronica sadly, though aloud she says, "No, I'm not."
"Oh. Sorry," Mac says sheepishly. "I didn't mean to get overexcited. Carry on."
"Thanks. Anyway, uh, we've been trying since then, but I was getting worried because nothing was happening, so Logan suggested we see a doctor," Veronica says. "Well, apparently, it's pretty normal for it to take a while, and of course, with Logan being in Nevada, we hadn't spent much time together, but um, the doctor wanted to carry out some tests because of my medical history."
"Medical history?" Wallace frowns, looking confused.
However, Mac nods, realisation dawning in her expression. "The chlamydia."
"Yeah, isn't it great when the whole world finds out you've got an STD in open court?" Veronica quips sarcastically. "I didn't know I had it for more than two years, and by that time, it had developed into pelvic inflammatory disease. I got treated for both, and I've been fine ever since, but apparently untreated PID can lead to complications. One of which is infertility."
"Shit," Wallace says on an exhale. "God, Veronica..."
"Yeah." She shakes her head. "All those years I didn't want kids, and now that I do, seems I might not be able to have any after all."
"Do you know that for sure?" That comes from Mac.
"Not yet. We only saw the doctor the other day," she says. "It's just... I'm having trouble getting my head around it. I wasn't gonna say anything 'cause I didn't want it to affect your visit."
"Oh, Vee...I'm sorry," says Wallace apologetically. "I shouldn't have pushed."
"It's okay. You didn't know." She gives him a small smile. "It was just a stupid argument earlier; the other day, Logan said we should just have fun with you guys and not mention it, but then he went and changed his mind this morning. I was pissed because it should be my decision, not his."
"I get that, Veronica," says Mac, "but please don't feel like you have to hide things from us. We're your best friends; we love you and we're here for you anytime you need us."
"If you need to talk, just talk," adds Wallace.
"Thanks, you guys."
"Come here." Mac stands, holding out her arms. "Group hug."
Within seconds, Veronica finds herself enveloped in the arms of her two best friends. She relaxes, the tension in her body easing, not realising how much she needed this until right now.
"Logan, Veronica, it's good to see you again," greets Dr. Anderson with a warm smile as the two of them take a seat in the doctor's office on Tuesday afternoon.
"Dr. Anderson." Veronica nods, the nervousness in her tone evident to Logan.
He reaches out and squeezes her hand in support, and she gives a tight smile in response.
"Doctor," he adds, turning his focus to the doctor.
"Okay, since I can see you're eager for information, I'll get right to it." The doctor clasps her hands together in front of her as she leans forward behind her desk. "I have your test results here. Logan, I'll start with you: your samples came back healthy. You have a healthy sperm count, so I foresee no issues there."
Logan feels a rush of relief at the news, and he gives the doctor a smile. "That's good to hear."
"So, other than what we discussed last week, I don't have much to add in regards to you. Just keep doing what you're doing." Dr. Anderson gives him a smile, before turning to Veronica. "Veronica, while the tests we've done so far have all come back fine, all that really tells us is that you have no infections or pressing health problems right now."
"Okay, which means…?" Veronica's fingers tighten around Logan's, and he squeezes back in a show of support.
"It means that we aren't able to tell whether or not there has been any prior damage caused to your reproductive system due to the PID," the doctor says gently. "It would be my recommendation that we go ahead with an HSG X-ray to determine if there it has caused any scarring or blockages in your Fallopian tubes."
"And what does that entail, exactly?" Logan asks on Veronica's behalf.
"Well, it's a fairly simple procedure, and only takes a few minutes." The doctor smiles kindly. "Your uterus is filled with iodine, which will then show up on the x-ray images as it flows through your reproductive system. If the iodine doesn't flow properly or stops, that can indicate a blockage."
"And what happens if that's the case?" Veronica speaks up now, her voice a little shaky. Logan's heart goes out to her, though he has to admire the strength with which she's taking all of this.
"If there does appear to be a blockage, we may need to do a laparoscopy in order to look at your fallopian tubes directly," says Dr. Anderson.
"Okay, but… I mean, if there is a blockage or scarring, is there anything that can be done to fix it?" Veronica says. "Or is that it, and I can't have children at all?"
"Not necessarily," the doctor says, her tone gentle. "Depending on the nature of the damage, it may be possible to repair the blockage or scarring with a minor surgery. If we can do that, then there's a chance you may be able to become pregnant in the future."
"Really?" Veronica relaxes her grip on his hand and Logan can see the relief on her face.
"Yes, really," confirms the doctor with a smile. "Though of course, it's not a guarantee."
"No, of course not," Veronica agrees quickly. "I understand. So, uh, when can we do this X-ray?"
"Well, it's best done after your period but before ovulation," says Dr, Anderson. "So between about day one and fourteen of your cycle."
"Okay, well, my period started yesterday," Veronica says. "So, it should be over by Friday or Saturday."
"Right, well, in that case, we should try to schedule you in next week." The doctor turns to her computer screen. "I could fit you in on Tuesday morning."
Veronica gives a small smile. "That sounds good to me."
"Great. I'll schedule you in." The doctor types a few things, then prints an appointment confirmation and hands it to Veronica.
"Thanks," she says as she takes it. "Do I need to do anything beforehand, to prepare?"
"Not really." The doctor shakes her head. "Though I would recommend taking an over-the-counter painkiller about an hour before the appointment, as you may feel some discomfort during the procedure. You'll be in and out the same day, and you should be fine to drive home, though you may want to have someone pick you up afterward in case you don't feel well."
"Okay." Veronica turns to Logan just as he's about to say he won't be able to get away from work next week due to a planned exercise, seemingly reading his mind as she says, "Don't worry, if you can't get away, I can get an Uber, or even ask Sarah."
"All right." He nods, giving her hand another squeeze.
The doctor spends the next few minutes giving them some slightly more general information about trying to conceive and they leave the clinic armed with pamphlets.
"You okay?" Logan asks as they get in the car.
"Yeah." Veronica fastens her seatbelt. "I mean, not really, but I'm dealing. I just… God, back at Christmas, when I suggested having a baby, I never thought we'd end up here. I kind of assumed it would be easy. You know, ditch the birth control, get pregnant."
"Yeah, I know." He gives a solemn nod, already feeling a little guilty that he's perfectly healthy while she's having to deal with all of this. "I didn't consider this either. But we'll get through it, okay? Together."
"Yeah." She gives a soft smile. "Thank you."
He returns the smile, then starts the engine. "So, it's too late to get back to work now, but what do you say to ice cream?"
Veronica relaxes, her expression brightening. "I say ice cream sounds perfect."