The air in the library hung heavier than usual. Dust surrounded the bookshelves, swirling in intricate patterns through the milky air. The patterns together created a large map, with cascading mountains and forests, rivers that stretched on between them, and various landmarks in places where Middle Earth's history was shaped. Arien, whose thoughts dictated the patterns, sat hunched over a large book, muttering words as she read under her breath.
"The Void is a place of dwelling between reality and non-existence. Thousands of years ago, when Middle Earth was still young, the Valar banished Melkor into the Void. The Valar are beings entrusted with the creation and care of Middle Earth. They sealed the Void, preventing Melkor — more commonly known as Morgoth — from returning to the world and halting the growth of evil amidst their beloved creations…."
Her voice grew smaller as the text continued. Ink stains dotted the sleeve of her dress, and her dark hair threatened rebellion against the pins that held it away from her face. But the disarray did not phase her. She read through the endless text, disturbing the dust with each page turn. Elrond would be disappointed she wasn't caring more about maintaining the patterns of lakes and mountains and various moments in history. Such a small disturbance should not move mountains, he had said to her many a time during her exercise. But Elrond wasn't here.
Arien had been studying all morning, making notes and skimming through tattered books. Intent on her research, she didn't look up when the door to the library opened, and Elrohir walked in as quietly as he could manage.
"Have you been here all day?" he asked, his voice hushed. He sat in the chair beside her, careful not to knock over the pile of books at her feet.
Arien glanced at him. He was immaculately dressed, not a single hair out of place. She looked back at her notes and grinned.
"And if I have?"
"I suppose I wouldn't be surprised."
Elrohir rifled through a few sheets of parchment before taking Arien's quill out of its ink well and making random scratches on the sheet next to it.
"Ada's been looking for you since noon," he said eventually, setting the quill down.
"Oh?" Arien looked at his marks on her notes and narrowed her eyes. "Not you?"
Elrohir cleared his throat, once again picking up the quill and turning it over in his hands.
"Why would I be looking for you?"
Arien laughed. "If Elrond were looking, he knows where he could have found me. I told him this morning that I would be spending the day studying."
She stood, gathering a few books and pieces of parchment. The scenes in the air dissipated with the loss of her concentration. The dust floated into its regular places on top of shelves and forgotten tomes.
"Then what would you say if I was looking for you?" Elrohir grinned, hurrying to his feet and following Arien as she walked from the room.
She smiled at him while they walked down the brightly-lit corridor.
"Why were you looking for me, Elrohir?"
She knew what he was going to say. She always knew what he was going to say. And she tried to avoid it because she hated seeing the disappointed look on his face, but Arien enjoyed his company more than she dared admit to him.
"I wanted to ask— do you have some time this afternoon to go on a walk?"
"Only if Elladan comes along."
And there it was, the droop of his eyebrows, the slight slump of his shoulders.
"I'll ask Elladan if he would like to join us," Elrohir said, covering his disappointment with a quick smile. "Where will I find you later?"
"I'm going to my study right now. Give me a bit of time to organize my research and change into a proper dress."
"I will plan on it." He bowed, giving her another smile before heading off in the opposite direction.
A few minutes later, Arien was alone in her study, placing her research papers on her desk and her borrowed library books on a half-empty shelf. The small room held walls filled with paintings and tapestries, some made by her and some gifts from her friends. Most books were arranged on shelves, but a handful laid open on the floor next to a pile of blankets and pillows Arien had not cleaned up from the day before.
A door in the corner led into her private chambers, a light and airy room with soft furnishings. Arien changed out of her wrinkled dress and paused for a moment to try to gather loose strands of hair back into their proper pins. But much sooner than Arien predicted, there was a knock at her bedroom door, and she opened it to see Elrohir and Elladan waiting patiently.
"You look lovely, Arien," Elrohir said. He did a funny little bow while Elladan smirked.
"Isn't that the dress Elrohir told you he liked?" Elladan asked.
Arien rolled her eyes, refusing to make eye contact with Elladan as she swept right past the two of them, closing her door behind her. This was her favorite blue dress, and she didn't want to avoid wearing it just because Elrohir said she looked nice in it.
The three of them walked with little conversation until they reached the east gardens. A short hedge-lined a walking path for about fifty yards, delicate flowers and trees protected by it from foot traffic. But past the hedge grew more robust plants which require less attention from those who tended this quarter of the community grounds. As they passed the end of the hedge Elladan fell a few paces behind Elrohir and Arien as he usually did.
"How have your studies been going?" Elrohir asked finally, clearing his throat a bit.
Arien shrugged, "A lot of the same. I feel like I never find any answers. The Void remains vague and location-less. I'm worried I do not have enough resources here to find answers. Ada says the time is coming for my kin to join me here, but I have begun to wonder if we should gather elsewhere."
"Maybe you're not supposed to find it. Your worryings could be for naught," Elrohir said too quickly.
Arien took a deep breath. This discussion was getting old.
"I know that you would love for my fate to be to stay here in Imladris, but my reason for being here is not to sit by the wayside while others strive to help," She smiled at him and shook her head. "You've seen my gifts. You know the impact I could have on the growing darkness and the shame that would follow if I did not fulfill my duty."
"What shame is there in duty to family and love?"
Elrohir stopped walking and turned toward her.
"You know that is not my fate," she tried to keep her voice level as she was acutely aware of Elladan behind them. She started inviting him along a few years previously, and she knew Elrohir thought it was for propriety - and it was - but it eventually became a safeguard for Arien. She didn't want to say something she would regret.
Elrohir sighed, "You can choose your fate, Arien, you don't have to let your parents, or my father, or anyone dictate your choices."
"I cannot choose to abandon Middle Earth to darkness! I cannot choose to let Melkor return from the Void if there is a chance I can stop him, then I-"
A sudden movement from behind Elrohir stopped her short. Immediately, Arien motioned to Elrohir and Elladan, then jumped up and started climbing the tree nearest her. With deftness, she climbed high enough to not be visible from the ground, and moments later Elrohir and Elladan joined her. She nodded her head toward the movement as they looked at her in question.
Two people passed underneath their hiding place. One, a tall man with a blue hat and long Wizard's staff whom Arien recognized as Gandalf the Grey, having met him once many years ago. Next to him stood a person dressed in the dark clothing worn by the Dunedain Rangers. The Ranger's hair was dark and short, but Arien could not see his face through the branches.
"A little further, Rian, then you can be rid of me." Gandalf sounded wearier than he looked.
"I do not wish to be rid of you. I merely want some time alone."
Arien made eye contact with Elladan, who was at her right elbow. His face reflected the shock she felt at hearing a woman's voice come from the Ranger. Arien felt embarrassed she had been quick to judge based off of hair-length and clothing. The Ranger obviously had a slightly smaller build than the typical Ranger, and as she turned, Arien got a clear look at her face. She had a grim face, but a feminine face and one Arien immediately felt familiar with.
But as fast as the pair had approached, they were gone. The three in the tree waited another moment or two before climbing back down. Arien was breathless, her eyes sparkling as she turned to the twins.
"We need to return to the house, I must speak with Ada."
Elladan nodded and started walking away, "I'll go on ahead and let him know you'll be there shortly." He winked at Arien, who resisted the urge to roll her eyes as he disappeared around a corner.
Elrohir looked frustratedly after his brother, "I know you are in a hurry Arien, but I wish we had more time to talk. As I have said before, I don't want to pressure you, I just don't understand why you cannot at least try both."
"I do not want to keep having this conversation, Elrohir," she could feel a familiar clenching in her chest, "yet you seem determined not to let it be."
"If you do not love me, then why do you not just say that? Why do you say it is just because of your fate. Why do you make me feel hope that you, that you-"
Elrohir cut himself off before the tears in his eyes spilled and turned away, walking toward the house. Arien was glad he hadn't continued. He was right to get upset, she knew it was wrong to lead him with false hope. But every time she tried to tell him she didn't love him, the words got stuck. She wanted to blame in on being an emotional coward but hadn't allowed herself to figure out exactly why she could not say it.
But regardless of their row, life continued around her. Birds sang a few trees away as the sun rose to its highest point. The flowers lining the path were lit by an ethereal beauty in the shade of the trees around them, and the leaves on said trees were still an immaculate green despite the nearness of fall. Arien stood wishing she could leap into the air and fly above their branches, and away from the sinking feeling she had. Here she was, on a day more important than any other thus far, and she wanted to leave. But she needed to go speak with Elrond, for with Gandalf, was one of her kin. She was finally going to meet another child of the Valar.