Chapter Nine
Late April 2019
"Hey." Nick raises his hand in greeting as Veronica approaches him and Marley on the beach Friday afternoon, Pony tugging impatiently on her leash. "Long time."
"Yeah, sorry," she apologises, as the dogs get reacquainted, tails wagging eagerly. "The last couple of weeks have been kinda crazy."
"Hey, no worries." He smiles down at the dog. "We entertained ourselves, didn't we, Marls?"
"So, are we doing the usual today?" Veronica asks.
Their usual is to walk along the beach, throwing balls and frisbees for long enough that the dogs get tired, and then head over to May's Parlour for coffee and cakes.
"I thought so." Nick nods. "Haven't been to May's in a while."
"Cool."
They start walking in companionable silence. Before the whole thing with Dr. Anderson last week, and then Mac and Wallace coming out for the weekend, she and Nick had met up two or three times a week, usually just for an hour or two. Nick's becoming a good friend already, and it's nice, having someone to talk to outside of her Neptune friends and Sarah, someone she can vent to and get opinions from without him being emotionally involved. And same goes for her, she supposes—she gives him someone to chat with away from the Navy crowd. In fact, they rarely speak about the military stuff at all, and it's nice: just two civilians bonding over being civilians.
"So, you have a good Easter weekend?" asks Nick a few moments later.
Veronica smiles. "Yeah, I did, thanks. My best friends from California came out to visit us, and we spent the weekend hanging out. How about you?"
"My wife's from New York, so we headed up there for the weekend to see the family," he says. "Her sister recently got engaged, so we had a small engagement party as well."
"That's nice."
"Yeah, it was a good weekend."
They spend the next thirty minutes or so playing with the dogs, before heading for the small café. It's Veronica's turn to buy the food and drinks, so Nick heads for their usual table by the window, while she orders and pays.
"I'm glad it's getting warmer here now," she says as she takes her seat a few moments later. "I know I spent a few years in New York, but I've been missing Southern California weather."
"I know what you mean," Nick agrees. "I grew up in Florida."
"Ah, so you get it." She smiles.
"I do."
Their order arrives just then and they tuck into the large slices of cake eagerly.
"Hey, you okay?" Nick asks after a couple of minutes. "You look exhausted today."
"Haven't been sleeping well," she admits. "Like I said earlier, it's been a long couple of weeks."
"Anything I can help with?" he asks. "If you wanna vent, I mean."
"Thanks." She gives a small smile. "Actually, that might be good, you know. To talk to someone removed from the situation."
"I'm all ears," he says kindly.
Veronica takes a deep breath. "Okay, well, my husband and I are, um, trying for a baby at the moment—"
"Oh, that's great," he interrupts with a warm smile.
"Yeah," she murmurs. "I mean, it should be... it's just that... well, it isn't exactly happening yet, and we, uh, we went to see a doctor last week, you know, just in case something was wrong... and um..."
She lowers her head, trying to swallow down the emotion that's rapidly rising up in her throat.
"Hey, it's okay," he says quickly, looking concerned. "You don't have to tell me."
"No, it's fine," she says. "It just… it turns out that there's a chance I might not be able to have kids. I'm going to have some X-rays done next week, to see if there's anything wrong."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Veronica."
"Yeah... it's just been a lot to take in," she admits. "And my husband's been really great. It's just crazy because I never used to want kids... I mean, I took me months to come around to the idea, and then more than a year to decide I actually wanted to start trying, and now, after all that, it seems it might not even be possible anyway."
"I'm sorry," Nick says again, his expression sympathetic. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."
"Thanks. I appreciate that," Veronica says, before shaking her head, clearing her thoughts. "Anyway, enough about my issues... any luck on the job front yet?"
"Not yet," he says, taking a sip of coffee. "I've been sending out resumés, and I've gotten a couple of interviews so far, but they haven't panned out."
"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure something will come along soon."
"I hope so," he says. "You had any more ideas about what you want to do?"
Veronica makes a face. In all the drama of the last couple of weeks, she hasn't even had a chance to think about getting a job here yet.
"No," she admits. "Though, it hasn't really been a priority lately."
"No, I guess not."
Logan gives a huff of frustration as he scans the bedroom one more time, tossing a handful of clothes onto the bed as he hunts for his missing cell phone.
Where the hell is it? I had it last night.
"Hey, Veronica?" He heads out of the room and calls to her downstairs.
"Yeah?" comes her slightly muffled voice from the living room.
"You seen my cell? I can't find it anywhere."
"Have you tried calling it?" she returns. "Use my phone—it's on the dresser."
"Right, of course," he mutters to himself. "That would have made sense."
"Will do," he calls back more loudly. "Thanks."
Heading over to the dresser, he picks up her phone, types in the unlock code, and dials his number. His ringtone sounds from somewhere in the room, though it's muffled. He frowns, turning his head towards the sound, trying to pinpoint its location. After a several long seconds of searching, he eventually finds the phone in the laundry basket.
"Huh." He looks at it in confusion. "How did you get in there?"
Dismissing it with a shake of his head, he pockets the phone and ends the call on Veronica's phone. He's about to return it to the dresser when it dings with a message.
'Hey Veronica, enjoyed your company yesterday. You free again Monday?'
Logan stares down at the text in incomprehension, noting the name at the top of the message: Nick.
Who the fuck is Nick?
Logically, he knows he shouldn't jump to conclusions; knows that Veronica would never cheat on him… but he can't help the flicker of jealousy he feels at the knowledge that some guy called Nick is sending her messages, that this guy is 'enjoying her company' while he's at work. The phone still in his hand, he heads out of the bedroom and downstairs to the living room, where Veronica is curled up on the sofa with Pony.
"Hey, uh, you got a message," he says, trying to sound nonchalant as he hands the phone to her.
"Thanks," she says, taking it from him.
Logan clenches his jaw as he makes his way into the kitchen and grabs a soda from the fridge. Popping it open, he takes a sip as he walks back into the living room and takes a seat on the other side of Pony, reaching out to stroke the puppy.
"So…" he starts, trying to sound casual, eyeing Veronica as she types a reply. "Who's Nick?"
Her lips twitch as she frowns slightly, before she presses her lips together like she's trying not to smile and looks up from the phone. "Why… you jealous?"
"No," he says immediately, giving a scoff. "'Course not."
Veronica's eyes narrow as she studies him, and he finds himself fidgeting under her gaze. "You so are."
"Okay, maybe I am," he concedes. "So, who is he?"
She smiles. "Relax… he's Marley's owner. You know, Pony's new friend? We took the dogs to the beach yesterday afternoon and he just wants to know if we can do it again on Monday."
"Oh." Logan looks down at the soda can in his hand, feeling suitably contrite. "You didn't mention he was a guy."
Veronica scrunches her nose up. "What does that matter? We're walking our dogs, not having some illicit affair."
"It doesn't matter," he says quickly.
"No, obviously it does," she counters, putting the phone down and shifting to face him. "Or you wouldn't be bringing it up. I didn't mention he was a guy because it didn't even occur to me that it mattered." She runs a hand through her hair. "My best friend is a guy and you've never had a problem with him."
"No, you're right," he says. "I'm sorry."
"You know I would never cheat on you, Logan." She leans forward, reaching across Pony to lay a hand on his forearm. "Nick is just a friend, nothing more. You have absolutely no reason to be jealous."
"I know." Logan sighs, looking to the ceiling for a moment before turning back to her. "And I trust you completely. I just don't know if I trust this Nick guy to keep his hands off you."
"Well, for a start, he's happily married," she says. "And even if he wasn't and he did try something, I have self-defence training and am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"I don't doubt you are." Logan responds sincerely. "Just ignore that little bout of irrational jealousy."
"It's not irrational." Veronica shakes her head. "You think I don't get jealous, wondering what might be happening on the ship while you're away? Don't think I haven't heard the old 'what happens on deployment, stays on deployment' adage."
Logan stills, staring at her in surprise. "Wait, you can't possibly think—"
"No, I don't," she says firmly. "But while my head knows nothing would happen, that doesn't stop my heart from getting jealous sometimes."
"Touché," he replies. "And for the record, I would never take advantage of that adage. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that to you."
"Thank you." She smiles, her expression turning affectionate as she leans across Pony to kiss him. "And me either."
"Guess we're even, then."
"Guess we are," she replies. "And you know, you should come meet Nick sometime. We could arrange something one weekend, all of us together, with his wife as well, if they want."
"Yeah... okay," agrees Logan, feeling a lot more relaxed. "That sounds good."
End April 2019
Tuesday afternoon arrives and Logan can't seem to concentrate. Thank God he's grading aeronautics theory tests, because he's too distracted to be out flying today. Veronica should be heading to the clinic for her HSG exam about now, and he's tied up in knots about what the x-ray might show. The last few days, he's been doing his best to be as supportive as he can, to assure her that even if it ends up being bad news, everything will be okay… but the truth is, the idea that after all this they might not be able to have children at all is affecting him more than he wants to admit.
In fact, it's pretty fucking devastating.
He's trying not to let it show, trying to be a pillar of strength for Veronica, but some days he's been struggling to keep it together. Because he does want kids. Badly.
He never entertained the idea in the past because he didn't think children were a possibility for him; in fact, given his bloodline, he thought the world would be better off if he didn't procreate, but now that he's allowed himself to believe that he could actually be a good father, and now that Veronica wants children too, he can barely think of anything else. And the worst part is, he's not sure how he's going to handle it if it does turn out they can't have them at all.
It's not like he's opposed to the idea of using other means, like adoption, but he honestly can't imagine Veronica going for it. A big part of the reason she finally decided to have a baby was that the child would be a part of both of them. He can't quite see her being as amenable to raising a child that isn't actually hers, biologically speaking.
"Hey man, you busy?"
Chaos' voice brings him out of his thoughts and Logan lifts his head to see his friend standing in the doorway of the office, hand poised to knock.
"Yeah, but I could do with a break," Logan admits, putting down his pen. "What's up?"
Chaos jerks his head down the corridor. "You wanna get a coffee or something?"
"Sure." Logan nods easily. Anything to get out of grading for a few minutes.
They head down to the crew room at the end of the squadron building. Logan grabs a couple of candy bars from a drawer in the kitchen area while the coffeemaker is brewing and when the drinks are ready, they settle back in the La-Z-Boy chairs across the room. Logan's thoughts once again go to Veronica as he glances at the clock, wondering how she's getting on at the clinic.
"Oh, hey," Chaos starts a couple of moments later. "Did you hear, Parsons is having a party thing at his and Michelle's place Friday night? It'll be the old OCS gang. You and Veronica will come, won't you?"
"What?" Logan blinks, pulling his attention back to Chaos. "Oh, yeah, Friday night. Sure, we'll be there."
Chaos frowns. "You okay, dude? You seem distracted."
"No... yeah, I'm fine," he says. "Just, uh... just tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."
"Veronica keep you up all night, huh?" Chaos' tone is suggestive as he waggles his eyebrows, but Logan struggles to react with more than a half-hearted smile.
"Something like that," he mutters, taking a gulp of coffee, followed by a bite of the chocolate bar in his hand.
In reality, he'd been up half the night due to a mixture of his own worry and trying to assure Veronica that no matter what happened at the clinic today, they would face whatever came at them together. Though if he's honest, he thinks the assurances might have been as much for his own benefit as hers.
Veronica swallows nervously as she lies back on the table in Dr. Anderson's office, undressed from the waist down, her lower half covered with a paper gown. She hates pelvic exams at the best of times, but this, right now, is so much worse than just a routine check-up; the results of this exam are going to determine her future.
"Just relax, Veronica," Dr. Anderson's soothing voice sounds from a couple of feet away. "Nothing to worry about."
"Yeah..." she murmurs, looking up at the ceiling. "Sure."
"Okay, you may feel some discomfort while I insert the speculum and inject the dye," says the doctor. "It should be no worse than your usual period cramps, but some women do find it painful. I'll go as slowly as I can, okay?"
"Okay." Veronica nods numbly.
The next few minutes as Dr. Anderson performs the HSG procedure are uncomfortable, to say the least. Veronica tries her best to keep from crying out, but when a sharp, cramping pain shoots through her abdomen, she can't help but inhale sharply in response.
"I'm sorry," the doctor apologises softly. "This'll only take a few more minutes."
Veronica squeezes her eyes shut and tries to think of something else, anything else, to keep her mind off the torture currently being inflicted on her body. It's not easy though, especially with her knees up, an x-ray machine over her abdomen, and the doctor asking her to turn every few seconds. When Dr. Anderson finally removes the speculum and tells her she's all finished, Veronica gives a sigh of relief.
Thank fucking God.
She gets herself cleaned up and dressed and then joins the doctor at her desk a few minutes later.
"All right, Veronica," says Dr. Anderson with a gentle smile. "I can give you the preliminary results now, but I do have to send the images off to the lab for further analysis, so we'll need to meet again in a few days when I have the results."
"Okay." Veronica nods quickly, her still sore stomach twisting up in knots in anticipation of what the doctor is about to say. "Well, don't leave me in suspense..."
"Right, well, the X-rays did show indication of a blockage being present, potentially in both of your fallopian tubes," the doctor tells her, her tone verging on apologetic as she gives her a kind smile.
A blockage? In both tubes? The words echo in her mind. But then that means...it means I can't...Oh God. I'm going to throw up.
"Veronica, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but please don't assume the worst, okay?" Dr. Anderson says in a voice Veronica thinks is supposed to be reassuring. "We'll know more from the lab analysis, but from the images I've seen today, it appears as though the dye was unable to enter your fallopian tubes."
"And… what does that mean?" Veronica's heart pounds in her ears as she only just manages to get the question out.
"Well, it could be a false positive, which does happen in about 15% of cases, or it may be that there are blockages right at the entrance of your uterus, rather than partway along the tubes or next to your ovaries." She points towards a diagram of the female reproductive system, indicating the area she means. "And that can be a good thing. Blockages next to the uterus are the easiest to fix, as it means we don't have to remove any part of the tubes, or risk damaging the ovaries."
Veronica sits back in her chair, taking that in, torn between bursting into distraught tears and daring to feel hopeful. "So, you can fix it? I'll be able to have children?"
"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here," warns Dr. Anderson. "It's too soon to tell just yet, but if the lab results do indicate a blockage next to the uterus, we can try a laparoscopy to get a better look at exactly what's causing it, and even see if we can clear the blockage at the same time."
"Okay." Veronica finds herself nodding, even as her head starts spinning with the new information.
"But you need to bear in mind that even if we can do that, it's not a guarantee that you'll be able to become pregnant," the doctor tells her. "There's also a good chance that the tubes could become blocked again within a few months due to post-surgical adhesions forming. You do need to be prepared for that possibility."
"Right." Veronica swallows, sobering as she tries to push down the lump she feels forming in her throat. "And does that happen often?"
"Unfortunately, it does," Dr. Anderson admits. "In about 80% of cases, the tubes become blocked again within six months."
"Six months?" Veronica's mouth drops open in dismay, her heart sinking.
"But that doesn't mean that will definitely happen, or you won't be able to get pregnant after the procedure, okay?" Dr. Anderson adds. "You do need to know all of the facts though."
"Yeah… I understand." Veronica's not sure how to feel right now—whether to be hopeful or not.
"Look, I'll give you a call when the results are back and we can go from there," the doctor says kindly.
"Thank you, Dr. Anderson."
As Veronica gets up to leave the room, she winces, folding in on herself a little as her belly cramps.
"Are you feeling all right, Veronica? Any pain?"
"Yeah." She straightens, rubbing her stomach. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just cramps."
"Yes, you may experience cramping for a day or two and you might have some spotting, but that's normal. I would, however, abstain from intercourse for a couple of days," advises the doctor. "But if any bleeding lasts longer than that or you're in a lot of pain, don't hesitate to come back and see me, okay?"
"I won't."
Veronica gives the doctor a small smile, before leaving her office and making her way back to the reception area of the clinic. As she gets there, Nick stands from where he's been sitting reading a magazine, and walks over to her.
"All done?"
"Yeah," she says softly. "Thanks for giving me a ride."
"No problem." He gives a small smile. "You okay?"
Veronica shrugs, not really sure how she feels at the moment. She hasn't even managed to get her head around the events of the last hour yet. "I'm a bit sore."
"Sorry to hear that." He gives her a sympathetic smile. "You ready to go home?"
"Yeah, I'm ready."
In something of a daze, she follows Nick out to the parking lot. They head to his car and he drives her back to the house.
"Thanks again for coming," she tells him as she reaches for the passenger door handle. "I wouldn't have asked, except my friend couldn't help out."
Truth is, she hasn't told Sarah what she's going through yet, especially as her friend is pregnant again. She didn't really want to get into any explanations about it by asking her for a ride. And okay, so she could have taken an Uber, but Nick offered to help, and given that he knows and has been understanding about it, she accepted gratefully.
Nick just nods in return. "I hope everything turns out okay."
"Thanks."
She climbs out of the car, giving him a wave before turning toward the house. Once inside, she gives Pony a quick greeting before heading right upstairs to take a shower in an attempt to get rid of the icky, violated feeling from the examination. She dresses in pyjama pants and one of Logan's large sweatshirts, before curling up on her side in bed and pulling the covers tight around her. Her hand covers her stomach, still tender and cramping slightly, as she finally lets out all the emotions she's been holding in since she left Dr. Anderson's office.
Logan leaves the base as early as he can, anxious to get home to Veronica and find out how the HSG went. She hasn't called him yet, but then her appointment wasn't until three o'clock, so for all he knows she might still be there. He arrives home just after five-fifteen to find Pony alone in the living room.
"Veronica, you here?" he calls, heading up the stairs. "I'm home."
"Bedroom," he hears her muffled voice sound from down the hall.
He enters their room to find Veronica curled up on her side in bed, her face pale and features taut.
"Hey." He moves quickly to her side, taking a seat beside her on the edge of the bed and reaching out to stroke her hair back from her face. "You okay? What happened?"
"It hurts, Logan," she says tiredly. "It was really painful."
"The exam?" he asks, letting his fingers trail along her hairline.
"Yeah. It was horrible. She inserted—" She stops, scrunching up her nose. "You know what, I don't think you wanna know."
Logan grimaces. "You're probably right."
"Yeah."
Logan's torn between gathering her in his arms and holding her close and asking the question that's been on his mind all afternoon. He opts for the question.
"So, uh, other than the pain, how did it go?"
She closes her eyes, giving a barely perceptible shake of her head. "Not so good."
Logan's hand freezes against her scalp. "What happened?"
"Dr. Anderson said the x-ray showed signs of blockages in both tubes," she says softly, keeping her eyes closed. "When there are no blockages, the dye is supposed to travel through them without stopping, but with me, it didn't go anywhere."
Logan's stomach drops. This was what he'd been afraid of. What they'd both been afraid of.
"Shit, Veronica. I'm sorry."
She regards him sadly, and he notices her eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot.
"We still need to wait for the labs to come back, and she did say it could be a false positive, but..."
"But there's a good chance it's bad news," he finishes for her flatly.
"Yeah." She sucks in a long breath, shifting onto her back and lifting her hands to her forehead, pushing back her hair. "I mean, she did say that it looked like the blockages might be next to the uterus, which is easier to fix than if they were further along."
"Well, that's something, I guess," is all he can manage, not really knowing what else to say.
God, after all this time...almost two years of arguing and debating and then finally deciding to try for a baby, and it could have all been in vain.
"Hey, scoot over," he says then as he kicks off his shoes. She complies and he slides into the bed beside her. "Come here."
He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her as best he can.
"I'm sorry," he tells her. "And I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you."
"It's okay," she mumbles, resting her hand over his chest and snuggling close.
"Did Sarah give you a ride today?" he asks after a moment.
"No." She shakes her head against him. "She was busy this afternoon. Plus, I didn't really want to have to tell her why I was there."
"So, you got an Uber?"
"No, actually, Nick gave me a ride there and back."
Logan frowns, stiffening slightly. "Nick?"
"Yeah," she says. "He offered when we were walking the dogs yesterday."
"Wait." Logan slides out from under her, sitting up and turning to face her. "You didn't want to tell Mac and Wallace about this, and you won't tell Sarah... but you told this Nick guy? You've only known him, what, six weeks?"
"So?" she responds heatedly, wincing as she pulls herself up to a sitting position as well. "I thought you wanted me to talk about it with someone?"
"Yeah, with your best friends, who know you and love you," he retorts. "Not some random dude you just met."
Her eyes narrow, her jaw clenching with irritation. "Please tell me this isn't you being jealous again? I thought we already covered this."
Logan throws off the covers in frustration and stands, glaring at her. "Damn fucking right I'm jealous, Veronica! How could you take this guy—someone you barely know, someone I haven't even met yet—to your fucking fertility appointment? That shit is personal, for fuck's sake. It's supposed to be a private thing between us."
"Logan, calm down, okay?" she returns, sounding frustrated. "It was just a ride. Geez."
"It was not just a fucking ride, Veronica," he grinds out, running a hand through his hair. "Was he there with you at the clinic?"
"He sat in the waiting area while I was with Dr. Anderson," she says. "There wasn't much point in him going home."
"Right." He scoffs, looking to the ceiling. "And I suppose he offered a shoulder to cry on afterwards?"
Veronica just stares at him for a long moment, her lips pursing, before she climbs off the other side of the bed. "You know what, fuck this, Logan. I don't need your jealous bullshit right now."
"Fine," he spits out. "I'm outta here."
He grabs his shoes from the floor, then storms out of the room. He's partway down the stairs when he hears Veronica's feet on the carpet behind him.
"You think I didn't wish you were there with me instead of him, Logan?" The despairing tone of her voice makes him stop in his tracks.
He turns, finding her standing in the hallway, looking small and timid in his oversized sweatshirt.
"I needed you with me," she says, sounding distraught. "I needed you to hold my hand and talk me through it and tell me everything would be fine. But you weren't."
Logan opens his mouth to protest that he would have been there in a heartbeat if he could, but she gets there first.
"And I know it wasn't your fault you couldn't be there, but that didn't stop me wishing you were," she admits. "And for the record, Nick wasn't a shoulder to cry on. He drove me there, waited for me, and drove me home. That was it."
Logan sucks in a deep, calming breath, his anger deflating at the forlorn expression on her face.
"God, I'm sorry." He returns to the top of the stairs, coming to a stop in front of her.
Veronica just raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms, jaw set and shoulders squared. "What for?"
"Huh?" He's confused.
"What exactly are you sorry for?" she repeats tightly. "For yelling at me when I feel like shit already? For being a jealous asshole?"
"For everything," he tells her sincerely. "For getting angry; for being jealous; for not coming with you today." He takes her hands in his, saying sincerely, "And I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have even thought about kids and you wouldn't be in this position now. If I could make everything better, I would."
Veronica nods slowly, her eyes lowered. "That's not your fault, Logan. It's just… life. Fate. Whatever you want to call it."
She gives a helpless shrug and Logan tightens his hands around hers.
"Look, it really was nothing more than a ride from a friend," she says a moment later. "And I only told Nick at all because he was a neutral party; because I knew he wouldn't judge or pity me."
"Yeah, okay. I guess I can understand that," Logan relents. "But Veronica, this is our personal life; this is about you and me and our future. And the idea that some guy I don't even know was there with you when I wasn't…"
He swallows, trying not to let his real emotions show, not wanting to dump his angst on her; she's going through enough already. Apparently he's not successful though, because she scrutinises him with suspicion.
"What's really going on, Logan?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head, forcing a smile. "Everything's fine."
"Logan…" Her voice holds a hint of warning.
"Seriously, nothing's going on," he insists, though it's not exactly the truth. He just can't bear to make her feel any worse than she already does by unloading his own fears and worries onto her. "Look, I'm really sorry about the results today. I know this wasn't what we were hoping for."
"Yeah. Me too."
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired. Sore." She looks up at him hopefully, apologetically. "In need of a hug."
"Come here."
Logan wraps his arms around her, holding her close as her arms slide around his waist, his chin coming to rest gently on her head.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he says, letting his hand run up and down her back comfortingly. "I was worried about you being alone at the appointment, and then when you said Nick was there when I couldn't be, it just… got to me."
"Logan…" She lifts her head. "He's my friend. That's all. Just because he's a guy it doesn't mean there's anything to be jealous of. Would you have felt the same if Sarah had gone with me instead?"
"I guess not," he admits, feeling terrible now for jumping to conclusions and letting jealousy take over.
"Exactly."
"Yeah, okay. I get it. I'm sorry. Again," he apologises softly, looking down at her as one hand comes up cup her neck, his thumb running along her cheek. "Look, everything's going to be fine. I know it will."
"I hope so," she says. "I'm not quite sure it's sunk in yet though."
"It will be." He assures her. Even if he's not sure he believes it himself right now, he's going to believe it for her sake. "I love you, Veronica."
She smiles. "I love you, too."
He lowers his head towards hers, watching her expression to make sure she's okay with this. She nods slightly, and he smiles, closing the gap and capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. It's been a while since they've been intimate, neither of them being particularly in the mood for the last few days, given everything going on lately, and Logan would love nothing more than to lose himself in her right now. She deepens the kiss and Logan's body responds eagerly, but as his hand slides down to the small of her back, intending to bring her closer, she pulls away.
"As much as I'd like to, in principle," she says, "after the torture I just went through today, I'm not feeling it."
"Oh… sorry." Logan moves back a little.
"Plus, Dr. Anderson said we shouldn't for a couple of days anyway." She gives a shrug. "Sorry, doctor's orders."
"That's okay," he says, running his hands along her arms. "So, what do you feel like doing tonight? We'll do whatever you like."
"I think," she says, leaning back a little so she can look up at him properly. "I want to order take-out, curl up with you and Pony on the sofa, and watch a movie. And maybe some pampering would be good too."
He smiles. "Of course."
Early May 2019
Logan arrives with Veronica at the party hosted by his fellow officer Parsons on Friday evening to find the house teeming with people. Logan recognises most of the party-goers, greeting them with either a nod and a smile or with a 'how's it going?' and a clap on the back, depending on how well they know each other.
As they head over to the kitchen to grab a drink, Logan notices Veronica is hanging back a little, so he takes her hand, linking their fingers and pulling her a little closer.
"You okay?" he asks quietly. "We don't have to stay for long if you're not up to it."
"No, I'm okay." She gives a small smile. "It'll probably do me good to get out of the house for a bit."
Since her HSG exam three days ago, Veronica's been out of sorts, just moping around the house, not really doing much except taking Pony out around the block occasionally. Logan's been trying his best to cheer her up, but since he can't really understand what she's going through, it's hard to know how to help.
She received a call from Dr. Anderson this morning before he left for work, saying that the lab results did show abnormalities and that she wanted to schedule Veronica in for a laparoscopy on Wednesday next week, both to determine the cause of the blockage and to treat it if possible. It's going to involve a general anaesthetic and possibly several hours in the hospital, so Logan is taking the day off to go with her. After allowing herself a few minutes to cry, letting Logan comfort her with a tight hug, Veronica composed herself, brushed it off, and told him to have a good day and that she'd see him tonight for the party.
While it was a little disconcerting to see her go from depressed and mopey to acting as if nothing's wrong, her attitude today has been much more like the Veronica he knows—the strong Veronica who doesn't let the crap life throws at her get her down—and he supposes that can only be a good thing right now.
"Here you go," she says, grabbing herself a beer and handing him a soft drink. They head back to the living room and turn to face the party-goers. "Okay, so talk me through who's who."
"Right, well, over there—" he points to the left corner of the room. "—is Tank. He went through OCS and Pensacola with us, but then got sent to Mississippi when we went to Texas. By the window, that's Casper; we were at Lemoore together. And—"
"Hey there, stranger," a familiar voice interrupts him.
Logan turns, breaking into a grin as he steps forward to hug the woman beside him. "Hey, what are you doing here? It's good to see you."
"You too, Mouth," she replies, before nudging him and nodding toward Veronica. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"
"Veronica, this is Firefly… also known as Amy," he says with a smile. "We knew each other in flight school, and she was on the ship when I went back after Bilbo died too. Firefly, meet Veronica, my wife."
"You guys got married? How did I not know that?" Firefly's smile widens as she steps forward to shake Veronica's hand. "Lovely to finally meet you, Veronica. Logan's told me a lot about you."
"Really?" Veronica's eyebrow rises as she shoots Logan a look. "That sounds vaguely ominous."
"Oh, don't worry. It was mostly just him pining over missing you when we were on the ship a couple years back." Firefly rolls her eyes at him and he gives her a withering look in return.
"So what are you doing here?" Logan repeats. "I thought you were at Lemoore now?"
"Oh, I was, but it was just a short-term posting," she explains. "Came back here a few months ago."
"Cool." Logan nods, before glancing around the room. "So, where's the other half? Haven't seen him in years."
"Oh, he's around here somewhere." Firefly shrugs. "He went to find the bathroom, I think."
She looks between him and Veronica then. "So when did you guys get hitched? Congratulations, by the way."
Veronica gives Firefly a friendly smile, and Logan relaxes, glad they seem to be getting on. "We got married last January, just before Logan went out on deployment again."
"That's great." Firefly returns the smile. "So, Virginia must be a big change from Southern California, huh?"
"Yeah, I'll say." Veronica nods in agreement.
"What are you doing for work out here?" Firefly asks. "Logan told me you're a PI, but that you have a law degree and took the California bar as well?"
"Yeah, that's right," Veronica replies. "I'm not really doing much right now. Still trying to figure it out. The law degree is a bit redundant here as I'd have to take the bar again to practise in Virginia and that would take several months. I do miss the PI work though. I've only done it in California, so I'm really sure how to get back into it out here."
Firefly nods. "It's gotta be tough starting over. My husband's in a similar position." She glances across the room. "Ah, here he is now, oh and he comes bearing alcohol."
Logan looks over to see the familiar blond man heading towards them. When the man sees Logan, he breaks into a friendly smile.
"Logan? Hey, it's good to see you," Firefly's husband greets, passing a drink to his wife so he can shake Logan's hand.
"Taylor!" Logan grins. "How are you, man?"
There's a small gasp from beside him and Logan turns his head to see Veronica looking at them in surprise.
"Nick?"
Firefly's husband blinks, looking surprised as he notices her there. "Veronica?"
Logan looks between the two of them in confusion. "Wait… this is Nick? With the dog called Marley?"
"You're Veronica's husband?" Nick Taylor appears equally confused for a moment, before he relaxes and he breaks into a smile. "Wow, small world, huh?"
Veronica shakes her head, seeming to be struggling to make sense of the scene before her. "You guys know each other?"
"Oh, we go way back, don't we, Echolls?" Nick grins. "Amy and I have been together since college… we got married not long after. So, wherever she went for training, I ended up too."
"This is… wow." Veronica looks stunned. "I never even thought… it is a small world."
"Oh my God, Veronica is your dog-walking buddy?" Firefly says then, having been observing the conversation with curiosity. "That's crazy."
"Yeah, it is kinda," says Nick, giving Veronica a smile.
As the other three make small-talk, Logan finds himself wondering how he could have been crazy enough to be jealous, to think that 'Nick' was a threat. In all the time he's known him, the guy has been totally besotted with Amy. The two of them were basically attached at the hip right through flight training, and from the way Firefly spoke of him on deployment two years ago, and how they're acting around each other this evening, those feelings don't seem to have diminished over time either.
"Oh my God, I've just had a great idea!" exclaims Firefly suddenly, interrupting the conversation. "Veronica, you're hoping to get back into the PI business, right? And Nick's in IT, but he's been stuck without work for a few months now. Maybe you guys should team up, set up a small business or something?"
"Oh, I don't know…" Veronica starts hesitantly.
"No, actually I think that's a good idea," Logan speaks up then, giving Veronica a small supportive smile, trying to convey an apology for jumping to conclusions about Nick. "You've been itching to get out of the house for weeks. Maybe this could be the solution."
"Hon?" Firefly looks up at her husband.
"Yeah." Nick nods slowly, glancing toward Veronica who seems to be warming to the idea. "Yeah, that might work. Of course, we'd have to figure out a lot of details, but it's an idea."
"Awesome." Firefly grins, looking pleased with herself. "This is really cool, all of us here together." She turns to Logan then. "Hey, did I hear Chaos was stationed here now too?"
"He is," says Logan. "In fact, he and Sarah are supposed to be here tonight. Haven't seen them yet though."
"Oh, hey, there's Sarah," Veronica speaks up then, pointing toward the front hall. "I'm gonna go say hi."
Logan smiles as Veronica eases her way through the crowd of people in the living room. So far, the evening is going well, and Veronica seems much more like her normal self than she has in weeks, despite everything she's dealing with. He just hopes she's truly going to be okay and that she's not just putting on a front for him.