Rivendell was impressive, though Rian would not admit that out loud. Its buildings sprawled out over the beautiful land, accompanied by the most delicate foliage she had ever seen. Everywhere she looked you could see a breathtaking view of the hills and cliffs and water surrounding the landscape. It surpassed expectations she may have had, but Rian's extreme desire to be anywhere else on Arda than here soiled the splendor.
Upon arriving at the feet of Lord Elrond, Rian had inquired about where she could find a moment of solace. She soon found herself in the room she would be staying and told she was welcome to roam anywhere she pleased as long as she was back in time to dress for dinner. Rian had never dressed for dinner in her life, and the thought of starting now made her feel uncomfortable. But, she knew she would follow the request instead of showing up to dinner with disrespect for her host.
She dutifully washed in the tub of water left in her room and changed into the fresh tunic and leggings that a kind elf had brought her. All the while trying to repress the suffocating stress in her chest. Thoughts danced through her mind, questions that she still did not have answers to, answers to questions she thought she wanted but now wished she had never heard.
How was she to understand that she was not from Dunedain lineage? How was she to understand why she had powers she had had to suppress since she was a child? How was she to stop oncoming darkness that everyone says is unstoppable?
The weight of the world could not wash off with water and soap. Rian finished her prep for dinner feeling no more settled or refreshed than when she started, but pushed her door open and went in search of the dining hall.
"You look well this evening, Rian." Gandalf startled her as she wandered past an open door. She backed up and saw him sitting in a library among a large pile of books. She should have known that he would commit himself to research as soon as he had the materials available.
"You're too kind Mithrandir. I have not yet been able to find time to clear my mind." She sat down opposite him and took one of his books in her hands.
"I tried to tell Lord Elrond you would not be up to a formal dinner but he -"
"I am capable of eating and conversing, regardless of not wanting to. I know how to be respectful of my illustrious host, even if the most glamorous meal I've eaten was at the birthday party for your friend in the Shire," she said this as she skimmed the pages of the book in her hands. "Why are you reading about Minas Tirith in the Second Age?"
Gandalf snatched the book from her hands, "Never you mind. You have enough to burden your thoughts. I'll take care of my suspicions on my own."
Rian pursed her lips and stood up, "You have kept enough secrets from me. I thought there would be no more. But so be it."
If Gandalf cared about her scathing remark, he did not show it. He didn't reply but buried himself again in his books, so Rian turned and left, heading once more to dinner.
The dining hall, which she found without much trepidation, was full of as much light and beauty as Rian might have expected. The floor was a mosaic of well-polished beautiful stone tiles, and the tables were delicate. The ceiling was lofty, but the quiet sounds of Elves conversing did not echo. While every piece of the room was beautiful, Rian had to admit that it was not over-done or ostentatious like she might have thought. It showed the beauty in simplicity.
As stunning as this was, Rian's favorite part of the room was where it started to lead into the Fire Hall, where the Elves gathered to sing and recite stories. The fire in the center of the hall burned bright, the light bouncing off of the ornate pillars. Chairs and velvet cushions lay strewn about in a mediated manner.
"We'll get to go in there after dinner."
Rian had seen this Elf approach her out of the corner of her eye but had not wanted to acknowledge him till he had spoken. She knew immediately he must be part of Elrond's house since he bore the same high brow and wore a similar silver circlet.
"I look forward to it," she bowed her head in acknowledgment of his status and moved to sit down at a nearby table.
"I believe you are actually to sit at the high table my Lady," he said, gesturing to the dais at the end of the room where she could see Lord Elrond and a few others getting seated. "Might I escort you?" He held out his arm.
She tried to smile as she took it but felt her face only reach the point of not being unpleasant.
Rian was aware of the gaze of every Elf in the room falling on her as she walked up to the table. Such a short walk lasted much longer than she wanted it and she sat down as soon as her chair was pulled out for her. The Elf who had escorted her sat on her left while the chair on her right remained empty.
"You must forgive me, I did not introduce myself," The Elf spoke up, "I am Elrohir, son of Lord Elrond."
Rian nodded her head in acknowledgment once more.
"I am Rian... from Bree." Rian couldn't remember the last time she introduced herself and felt rather silly not knowing if she should have a title to follow her name up with or not.
"My father has told me a little about you. I am very honored to sit beside you."
Rian tried not to grimace. Not only was he referring to her new-found lineage, but the proper conversation was starting to feel very stifling. She hoped the food would come out soon.
Though it wasn't food that gave her a brief reprieve, but the arrival of another dinner guest. Everyone in the hall had their attention on the entrance as an Elf Rian had never seen came through the door. She had long dark hair, bright blue eyes, and walked with more grace than Rian would have thought possible by a living creature. She was accompanied by a male Elf that looked identical to the Elf sitting next to Rian - so much so that Rian turned to the side to make sure that he had not disappeared.
The graceful Elf, much to Rian's surprise, made her way to the empty seat on her right. Rian's heart raced as this Elf acknowledged her. She said something to Rian that must have been an introduction, but Rian could not hear it over the rushing in her ears.
"Are you all right?" Elrohir whispered, bringing her out of her stupor.
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry -"
"It's okay. Arien has that effect on many people."
His wry smile told Rian more than she wanted to know about him.
"Don't monopolize the guest's attention, Elrohir. It isn't polite to whisper."
The Elf who looked identical to Elrohir leaned forward in his seat on the other side of the female Elf - Arien, Elrohir had called her - and grinned at Rian.
"I'm Elladan, my Lady. I hope my brother has been behaving himself."
"He has been good company," Rian stated, "My name is Rian. I came here from Bree." She felt like her introduction was a little less uncomfortable this time.
"Elladan is the one you want to look out for," Arien laughed, "he has caused more trouble here in one week than Elrohir has in his whole lifetime."
Before Rian could respond, if she had had a response to give, a chime sounded, and the food came from an adjoining hall. This food Rian had never imagined possible. Everything was light and filling but more delicious than every dish she had ever eaten. With each course, she relaxed a little bit more. The conversation was not more comfortable for her, but listening to the two brothers banter with Arien was entertaining. So dinner passed quicker than she anticipated.
"Ah, and now comes the best part of the evening!" Elladan stood up at last as the rest of the hall started to file down into the Fire Hall.
Arien and Elrohir stood to follow him, and Rian realized they were waiting for her. She only hesitated a moment before standing and walking with them into the warmth of the music hall.
"Do you sing, Rian?" Elrohir asked as they settled onto some cushions on the edge of the fire. Lord Elrond sat nearby, Rian acutely aware of his attention on her.
"I prefer listening, if I may."
"I prefer to listen as well," Elrond said to her, "I consider myself a great appreciator of talent where I may not have much to offer."
Rian could not imagine that Lord Elrond was not gifted in everything he tried, but she decided to mask her suspicion by turning to watch the Elf who had just stood to recite a poem of their composition.
Most of the evening went by similarly. One Elf or another coming forward to sing or recite a verse or two. There were a musician who played a composition and these Rian particularly enjoyed - there were very few instruments in Bree and none among the Rangers. To watch an Elf move their fingers over the strings of a harp or a delicate looking fiddle was mesmerizing. The sound colored Rian's mind with images of ages past, great battles, lost love, and history as she had never known it. All at once overwhelming and relieving, she felt holes in her understanding filled.
"Are you all right?"
There was a soft touch on her arm, and she looked away from the current singer to meet Arien's blue eyes.
"You're crying," Arien said, pulling a handkerchief from her sleeve and offering it to Rian.
It took Rian a moment to realize her cheeks were wet, but when she did, she blinked rapidly, taking Arien's offering of a handkerchief and dabbing her cheeks as fast as she could. She stood and mimed brushing off her hands on her lap.
"Thank you for the warm welcome this evening, my Lord Elrond, and Lords Elrohir and Elladan," she turned to Arien and tried to muster a smile, though was sure her face was red from embarrassment, "It was a pleasure to meet you Lady Arien."
She bowed and made her way out of the hall, her heart racing. She had not cried in front of anyone in years, and she could not imagine a worse place to have this moment realized.
Safe in her room she allowed herself to breathe deep, taking a long moment to wash her face in the wash bin, erasing the tear tracks. Silver light came in through the large window beside her bed, and Rian opened the curtains to lean on the rail overlooking the gardens where she and Gandalf had entered Imladris.
Why was she filled with so many emotions while looking over the beauty of Rivendell? Rian wanted to be upset, having made a fool of herself in front of her hosts, but looking out over the delicate flowers lit by the stars brought her the first moment of peace she had had since leaving Bree with Gandalf. She felt a twinge in her heart as she thought of the conversation she and Gandalf exchanged as they rode out.
"So are you going to share what secret you've been hiding, Mithrandir?"
Gandalf shook his head, a half-smile on his lips.
"Rian," his smile faded, and Rian swore she saw Gandalf age a few years - if that was possible, "I want to tell you first that I care for you very much, and I have never done anything that I thought unnecessary for your preservation."
Rian suddenly wasn't sure if she wanted to hear what Gandalf had to say.
"Do you remember my answer when you would ask about your family?"
"That they love me very much, but that they entrusted you with my care to keep you safe. You said that if people knew where I came from I would not be safe."
"All of that is true; I would not lie to you," he paused, taking a moment to look around as they traveled through the dense trees, "But it's time I tell you the story of your lineage."
Rian closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry again. She had not realized that hearing the bits and pieces of art this evening would bring her emotions to the surface, but she wasn't surprised that that moment had finally come. How else should someone react when they learn that their parents are the beings who created Middle Earth?