The morning after Frodo's eventful arrival, various other travelers had made their way into Imladris, including a group of dwarves and the Steward of Gondor's Son. A council had been arranged for the next day, to discuss the recent events and introduce the four Valar children. Rian dreaded attending, but after learning her friend Aragorn would be there, she didn't think it would be as terrible.
He had accompanied the Hobbits from Bree, and after the morning meal, she found him relaxing in a quiet corner of Lord Elrond's home.
"Why did you come with the Hobbits? Wasn't Gandalf supposed to meet Frodo in Bree?" She asked.
"Gandalf left instructions with me to watch for Frodo and Sam, and when he did not return to accompany them, I took it upon myself. Are you upset to see me, Fëanáro?" He smirked and closed the book he was thumbing through.
"Not at all, just surprised," She paused, pursing her lips. "Do you mind if I talk with you a moment?"
"I am at your disposal."
"How long have you known who I am?"
Aragorn raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth, but Rian cut him off,
"I know you know, Gandalf told me all of the Dunedain know. But have you always known?"
"I have," he said, frowning, "Gandalf told me before he brought you on our first journey. He also told me it was important you remained unaware."
"Did he tell you why?"
"He said it would keep you safer and help you grow stronger."
Rian harrumphed and folded her arms as she leaned against one of the smooth stone pillars that circled the room. Gandalf had said the same thing to her when she asked him why, but feeling unsatisfied with the answer, she had hoped to hear something different from Aragorn.
"I believe he was inferring that Melkor, or servants of, would find you faster if you knew."
"I do not understand why I would have been found faster if I knew."
"You don't think you would have wanted to use your powers if you had known?"
"Of course I would have, but I would not have done so without caution. And besides, I still do not know what my powers are. How am I supposed to help defeat Melkor if I cannot do more than swing my sword?"
"Do not underestimate the power of swinging your sword," Aragorn laughed, "But I am surprised you have not figured out what your powers are."
"Surprised! You assumed it would be easy?"
"Rian, we have been calling you Fëanáro since you were a child, have you never wondered why?"
"What do you mean?" Rian stopped trying to find out what the word meant when the Rangers would laugh at her asking and tell her to ask Gandalf.
"Spirit of Fire: Fëanáro."
"Fire?" The word stung Rian's tongue, and she remembered flames licking the wooden beams in her first home. She never wondered how she escaped the burning house with no burns. Her mind had focused on how her "family," though none of them got hurt, passed her off to a strict elderly couple on the other side of Bree.
Rian shook her head, her cheeks hot. She did not know Gandalf had told anyone of what happened that day, let alone it was because of Rian's Valar powers and not just an accident caused by a frightened child. She looked down at her hands, balling them into fists.
"There was only that one time, and everyone wrote it off as me misbehaving. I never thought to question what happened that day, nor did Gandalf ever talk about it."
"Are you upset he never told you?" Aragorn looked at her, his eyes sad.
"I am," she said, "Though I might not have been if it were not for meeting the other Valar children and learning how different their experience has been to mine."
Rian thought of Arien, whom Elrohir and Elladan doted on, and Elrond treated as his daughter – and Taelen, who had Galadriel watching over him so closely as he developed his powers. Even Hanna had been learning how to use her abilities since she was a child, and Radagst had thoughtfully placed her with a loving foster family before she was forced to join him in Mirkwood.
"I'm sorry you were not guided in the same way as your kin, but I hope you can see the value in your upbringing. You know many things that those who have never journeyed outside of Imladris or the wood of Lorien could know – or have experienced," Aragorn gestured to the books around him, "The things they know about the world were learned in books and stories, but you are well-traveled and have seen more than they can imagine. "
"I know you are right, but that does not change the fact that all of them can use their Valar abilities, and I cannot."
It was not worth arguing anymore; Rian did not want someone to tell her to stop being angry at Gandalf. She was sure the wizard had not been the guardian her parents would have wanted for her.
Talking with Aragorn had not helped her mood as she had hoped, and Rian ended up sitting on the ledge of a large window in her room that overlooked a manicured walking path surrounded by tall pine trees. She contemplated jumping into the bows of the tallest one and hiding from anyone who came looking for her (particularly Taelen, who she had planned to meet later to see what they could figure out about her powers). It would be an immature thing to do, she knew, but it didn't stop her from at least thinking about it.
The week since, Thuringwethil's attack had passed by almost too quickly. Rian didn't feel any more confident in her role as a child of the Valar than she did before, and the odds of that changing any time soon weren't high from her perspective. She thought this, and her already sunken heart felt close to plummeting down past her stomach to her feet. Though, she might prefer having her heart near her feet where she could kick it away and stop the hurt.
How could Gandalf do this to her? She didn't understand – it felt so odd for him to make such a bad judgment call.
But before she could settle into the never-ending puzzle of why this and why that, movement at the base of the pine trees caught her attention. Arien rounded the corner of the walking path, walking side by side with a tall blond elf Rian did not recognize. He was paying very rapt attention to Arien, who chatted gaily as she gestured about something with her hands. They came down the path, right in front of Rian's window, and she heard Arien say,
"The four of us will be at the council, though most of the discussion with revolve around the other attendees. I am interested to know Ada's reaction to your news."
"I will be particularly interested in hearing Lord Elrond give more insight into your story though. It must be more exciting than my tale of Gollum and my kin's failure."
"I doubt he will touch on it for more than a moment," Arien replied coyly, "So if you want to know more, you might have to spend some time in the Library."
"If you are there, then I am sure it would be time well spent."
The couple exchanged a smile before passing out of Rian's view. And Rian didn't know if she was going to throw up or not, but the feeling went away for a moment when she saw Elrohir coming down the path after Arien and Legolas. He didn't exactly look like he was spying on the pair, but Rian could tell he was frustrated. She wanted to laugh but also felt bad. She had seen Elrohir walking with Arien many times in the last week but rarely was she as animated as she had been with the blond elf. But then she was back to feeling sick again. And by the time Rian met up with Taelen, she had determined the day was going to remain miserable.
She found Taelen in their chosen meeting place: a mostly empty room down the hall from Taelen's quarters.
"Rian! Are you ready to see if we can figure out what – "
"Fire."
Taelen furrowed his brow,
"Sorry, what?"
"I think I can control fire."
"Oh, when – "
"I don't want to talk about it."
Taelen didn't respond immediately, his mouth hanging open in an endearing way.
"You don't have to teach me if you don't want to."
Rian wasn't sure why she said that. Her stomach was in knots, and she knew if she unclenched her fists, her hands would start to shake.
"Of course, I still want to help you!" Taelen smiled, but his smile faded after a moment, "Are you alright? You've turned very pale."
Rian didn't object when he pulled a chair out for her and sat quickly. Her head spun, and she saw black dots cross her vision. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them back.
"Can I help you?" Taelen said, holding out his hand. Rian looked at it, confused by the gesture. "It's easier if I can touch your bare skin."
She reached out to him, still unsure, but allowed him to hold her hand in both of his. Taelen closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Rian felt the weight on her chest lift, and the static in her mind cleared. If she wasn't sitting, she might have collapsed out of relief.
"How did you do that?" She exhaled the words with the last ounce of tension in her shoulders.
Taelen grinned,
"Would you believe me if I said I have magic powers?"
Rian rolled her eyes,
"I meant how – how did you access your powers to do it."
"Ah, yes, I can talk about that!" He pulled a chair over so he could sit in front of her, "The way Galadriel explained my abilities was that in all of Middle Earth, everything around us follows different rules and commands. The Valar commanded Arda into existence, and each one commanded different parts of Arda: Ulmo commanded the waters, Manwe commanded the skies, Mandos – the spirits of the dead, and so on.
"Each Vala had their abilities bestowed upon them by Illuvitar – the one. Each of us was blessed with Valar abilities at birth. When we came to Middle Earth, there was no indication of specific powers, nor specific parentage. Why our guardians are not sure, but they were instructed to take us and raise us to defeat evil's rise at the turn of the century – "
"Taelen," Rian interrupted, "I already know all of this. Gandalf explained it when we journeyed to Rivendell. And I cannot see how it helps explain how to use my abilities."
"I apologize," Taelen blushed, "Not often have I had the opportunity to talk about our heritage, and it seems I rather like talking about it."
"I want to talk about it, just maybe some other time?"
"Of course! Now – powers," He took both her hands in his, "I want you to push your hands against mine," he closed her hands into fists and put his palms flat against them. Rian did as he said, surprised when his hands didn't move in the slightest as she pushed. Either he was stronger than he looked, or she was growing soft at an alarming rate since coming to Rivendell.
"Our minds have to push past ourselves and find the energy in the world around us we can manipulate," He moved one of his hands abruptly, and Rian fell forward, not realizing how hard she had been pushing.
"So, how do I push past myself?"
"Focus and practice. You said you can manipulate fire? Then let's start with something small."
Taelen looked around, then stood and retrieved a candlestick with a half-used candle from a shelf by the window. He placed it on the table in front of Rian and stood back a few feet.
"Focus your mind of the wick of that candle. Reach out to it, and," He paused, searching for the right words, "Command it to light."
Rian looked at the wick for a second in disbelief but pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth and thought about how it physically felt to press against Taelen's hands and tried to make her mind do the same thing.
"Are you focusing?"
Rian flicked her gaze to Taelen, and then back to the wick. It was, sadly, still unlit.
"Maybe try standing?" Taelen folded his arms, tapping a finger on his chin.
Rian sighed, scraping her chair loudly across the stone floor as she stood. She closed her eyes and ran her tongue across her teeth, then focusing again on the candle's unlit wick. A minute passed, and she squinted her eyes, grinding her teeth. She didn't feel anything — no connection to the wick, no idea how to light it.
"This is pointless," She groaned, knowing she was acting about ten years younger than her age, but in her defense, she should have been training with Gandalf ten years ago.
"Well, we've only been trying for about five minutes."
"How long did it take you to get it?"
"Healing came very naturally, but it took me years to get to the point where I could do what I did to help you earlier. And I didn't even learn about my water controlling ability until two years ago. When I'd done it once, though, it was easy to train."
"So, when you got it once, it broke a waterfall of ability, to be dramatic…"
Taelen laughed at her analogy, "Yes, you could say that."
"Okay, I'll try again."