Chapter 15: Dinner Party***

2040

It was the first day of Winter.

Ellie had already reached 7 months into the pregnancy. What was once an ever-subtle budge at the middle of her abdomen had become a rather well rounded bump, but although she had gained weight in her cheeks and belly, the rest of her body seemed physically unaware of the complete metamorphosis it currently underwent.

On one hand, this was good, because with an extra baggy shirt of Joel's (she had practically taken over his wardrobe), the pregnancy seemed virtually unnoticeable to the community. On the other hand, the next few months to come were sure to make everything obvious to everyone, and they had only a little time to keep the secret.

Hopefully, tonight's dinner would change some of that fact significantly.

"Joel, stop fidgeting. Everything is going to be perfectly fine," Ellie said, almost agitated, and he turned to look at her as she stood near the bathroom mirror.

Easy for you to say, darlin'.

"You sure you wanna do this tonight?" Joel countered with a deep breath, and gripped his watch.

"Tommy and Maria are family, and they love us. They might react a bit strangely at first, but that's because it's a little…shocking," she added slowly. He scoffed, and rolled his eyes.

"It's more than a little shocking. All this time they've had no idea about us, and now we're gonna tell them we're havin' a baby? Flabbergasted is my guess," Joel added with a shrug.

"Is there something about negativity that just draws you in? Please stop being so dramatic," she groaned, and he almost allowed himself to smile, but guilt prevented him.

"You're right…I'm sorry. I just don't want you gettin' your feelings hurt if they act a little standoffish at first," he sighed, and she turned to him and frowned.

"Well, it can't be any worse than your initial reaction," she accused with a certain bitter sarcasm, and he nodded again after a long pause.

"Your well being is my first priority now, like it always should have been, so I'm trying to brace you for the worst," he stated, with just as much genuine regret as the last one hundred times that he had apologized.

With her pregnancy, he had become just as overprotective as he had been when they had first started their journey across the country.

"I know, Joel, really I do. I just can't help but wonder if there's something else you're worried about?" she asked, now serious, with the caring look on her face, and eyes that looked through his bullshit, which always melted him.

"I ain't afraid of how they're gonna treat you. I'm gonna be enemy number one, and you're gonna feel the load of it even though they don't mean to hurt ya," he explained, and walked his way over to her to brush her cheek with his hand.

Obviously, her hormones were wrecked, and he'd noticed her susceptibility toward crying for the littlest of reasons had increased. Not that he belittled her for it, he always felt her emotional responses were verified, even though she tried to hide it and was embarrassed. On more than one occasion Joel had held her in the middle of a breakdown to reassure her about herself, but she would always brush him off and accuse him of "trying to be nice". He'd ease off, and they would go about their day.

But, truth be told, he'd never been happier. He hoped she felt the same. It felt permanent this time. He wasn't going to let the darkness come for them.

At any cost.

"Why would you be enemy number one?" she finally asked.

"Tommy, Maria and I are from a time where our relationship would have been damn near illegal. Hell, to even put the two of them in my age group is pushin' it, considerin' I'm older than them. You get the idea," he tried to explain, brow furrowed.

"I thought the age didn't bother you?" she pressed again, almost upset.

"It doesn't, but I can't speak for others, baby," he replied softy.

"Joel, is it so far-fetched for me to just want some normalcy? Just like back in your day. When two people in a committed relationship could be happy about having a baby, and so could everyone else," she almost whined, but he felt she more than deserved to feel some envy at the past.

"It ain't far-fetched. I wish you could have had a life the way it used to be…but that ain't the way of the world anymore," he stated, and she nodded after a long moment.

"I know, I know…just…thanks, for putting up with me. I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with these past few months," she admitted sadly, and he frowned, before he broke the barrier between them again and cradled her softly against his chest.

"Nonsense, ya hear me? You're goin' through a lot more than me, and I feel bad I can't at least ease some of it. I love you just as much, if not more, than I ever have, if that makes you feel any better," he offered, and she almost allowed herself to smile slightly.

"Do you really mean that?" she asked, eyes narrowed, and tugged at his shirt to pull him in closer. Joel raised an eyebrow, and smiled confidently.

"Yes ma'am. I even like the extra weight you've put on…" he almost smoldered with a wink.

Always was too skinny… He had been giving her extra portions of food. There was something a little obsessive about it. He desperately wanted her and the baby to get all they needed. He felt like it was one of the few things he could control.

"Oh, cut the shit," she accused with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm serious," he replied, voice almost dark.

"…Oh?" she now questioned, eyes ablaze, and he grinned.

He kissed her deeply. Her hands ran through his hair, and he heard her breath hitch in surrender; he thrusted his hips toward her, then she grabbed onto his waist in response to force him closer.

"Guess that's proof enough," she mentioned suggestively.

Hormones are finally workin' to my advantage… I still got it.

Shockingly enough, the sex had been amazing. It some of the best he'd literally ever had with anyone, hands down, but he recalled he'd never really been with a pregnant woman before. The idea alone nearly made him consider knocking her up again if she'd allow it. It damn near made his head spin. She had his seed growing inside, and looked more feminine every day than he thought a woman could be. All her curves were so soft... he'd memorized the shape of her belly, and her bosom, and behind. Something about it made him territorial in regard to her; there was an almost primitive desire to keep her safe.

Before he could continue, however, they were interrupted by a knock at the door downstairs.

"God dammit," he growled.

She grinned in response.

"I'll go get it…put that thing down, Joel, we have guests."

Tommy and Maria rambled on and on about mediocre topics, all of which concerned the settlement or Emily. On any other occasion, Joel would have found these subjects to be of value, but he knew very well where the conversation would turn, and he could not allow himself to focus. An occasional nod, here and there from him, made it seem as though he were present when he was actually far-gone.

Luckily for him, Ellie was the talker in the relationship, so his silences in social situations were often ignored. Instead of the normal assumption that he was morose or bored, it was now assumed that he was quiet because she made up for what he lacked.

"-you sick or something? You keep playin' with your corn," Tommy accused, and Joel was snapped from his thoughts.

Suddenly, all eyes were on him at the table.

"Naw, I ain't sick," Joel brushed off with a nervous chuckle, and his brother's eyes narrowed, but Tommy could not find what was under the surface of the façade.

"You oughta get more like Ellie; young lady, you've certainly got a healthy appetite these days. Those cheeks of yours have never looked rosier," Tommy complimented.

Joel and Ellie exchanged a quick, loaded glance.

"Jeez, Tommy, don't embarrass her; you're so patronizing, not to mention that wasn't exactly a compliment if taken from another perspective," Maria scolded, and smiled sadly at Ellie to amends for her husband's behavior.

"You know what? You're right. Ellie, I think I've gotten so used to seeing you as a niece that I've ignored the possibility that you're a grown woman," Tommy said genuinely. Joel's eyes flashed toward his brother.

A niece? Wrong again. Do you even know me? I'd never disgrace Sarah or Ellie in that way. How dare you…

"Tommy, you see her as a niece?" Joel asked, and his brother froze.

"Well, the bond the two of you have…" Tommy continued, almost confused by now.

Emotion flooded Joel's conscience, but he forced logic into his mind.

What was he supposed to suspect? You never tried to correct him all these years.

"I never…I never tried to replace Sarah. Ellie and Sarah are equally important to me, in different ways…" he began, and Tommy paled instantly.

After all, it had been well over twenty years since Joel had even said her name in his brother's presence.

"Listen...just because I said I saw Ellie as a niece doesn't mean I thought you replaced…her," Tommy choked, and Maria stared at her plate.

"It's okay, Tommy. You can say her name," Joel soothed, which was extremely uncustomary.

"I never thought you tried to replace Sarah," Tommy replied again, and his eyes watered once the name left his mouth.

"But, you thought I'd filled the void she left with someone else?" Joel prodded, not angry.

"I mean...I...I dunno," Tommy admitted.

There was a silence between everyone that lasted for a few, painful minutes.

Joel was lost at how to go about the reveal, considering how much more difficult it felt now that all this had come out. Not only would it be difficult to convince them that his relationship with Ellie was pure due to the age, but he was now up against Sarah's memory. If it was gonna be hard for them to accept the relationship before, at this time it was confirmed to be much more complicated.

Tommy and Maria still reeled from the weight of Sarah's memory; Ellie, however, watched Joel's body language carefully, until he finally sighed and looked into her eyes for help.

"Ellie, honey…" he initiated weakly, with a shake of his head to admit defeat.

"I don't know if you guys know this, but I'll be twenty-two soon," she began.

"Is that so?" Tommy whispered bleakly, but his eyes were still glued to the plate in his utter distraction.

"Yes; and, uh, as you noticed…I have gained some weight," she said with a nod, in absolute embarrassment for lack of flow where her subject was headed.

Maria, not Tommy, seemed to take an interest on the undertone of her words.

Joel sat with his eyes closed like a ghost.

C'mon, baby, just say it.

"Oh my God… are you…?" Maria verbalized the beginning of her question, but merely mouthed the rest.

Joel's eyes opened, as he assessed their features, and for the first time all night he was relieved. After the initial suspicion, there was absolute support in Maria's eyes, and Ellie seemed to thank her silently. All at once, it was evident to Joel how close the two of them had become when he was not around.

"I'm seven months pregnant," Ellie admitted breathlessly. Aside from nerves, however, Joel felt with certain he filled with pride when she said it, but it was short lived when Tommy snapped his head up in bliss.

"…Well… God damn, you took my advice to heart!"

"Have you seen Cyrus yet?" Maria asked, and she nodded to confirm that the town doctor had examined and given her medical advice.

"Bastard didn't even tell us! We had dinner with him last week. Guess he did take an oath a long time ago, though," Tommy reasoned.

"What took you so long to tell us? We didn't even know you were seeing anyone," Maria gushed, and reached across the table to hold her hand.

"You are seeing someone…right?" Tommy added darkly, then turned to Joel like partners in crime, as if to insinuate that this could have been some unfortunate, violent mistake.

"It ain't anything like that, Tommy. Believe me," Joel finally spoke to him, but it was more of a choked whisper, and his eyes were somewhere unfocused, in a realm beyond the room.

"I have been seeing someone…for a long time, actually," she continued, and Joel clenched his teeth as he braced for the impact of her next revelation.

"Well, who is it? Is it Jonny? He's your age. To be honest, we thought you'd marry or maybe even court with someone first…but none of that really matters," Maria blew off with a laugh, and her glee was evident.

Ellie looked mortified. Joel just felt himself sink into his chair. He wanted to melt into the wood and hide.

"…Really, guys? …Really?" Ellie struggled with a sigh, after yet again another moment of silence.

Joel cleared his throat.

"Ellie, it's fine," Joel reassured her with a whisper and a nod.

"What's so bad? Is it an age difference? There's quite a few years between Maria and me, ain't no harm in it!" Tommy tried to reassure.

"There's a pretty significant difference…" she admitted guiltily.

"How significant?" Maria and Tommy asked at the same time.

"Try 34 years," Joel almost spat bitterly.

"Holy shit, Joel! Does…" Tommy started in a cackle, before it finally clicked.

The look of horror on his face was enough to make Joel go red, and soon Maria picked up on it too. Joel felt his cheeks continue to flush, but he glared at him, and refused to look away. He postured, aggressive and ready to defend their honor if it came to it.

No backin' down now.

"You…you cannot be serious," she asked, dumbfounded.

Joel's eyes didn't leave Tommy.

Ellie shifted uncomfortably.

"We're serious," Joel finally replied, with a look of steel toward both of them, before he softened in a glance to Ellie.

"…How long? Please tell me it hasn't been the whole time," Tommy pressed, in complete disgust.

"Did you-" Maria tried to add in outrage.

"-Christ, I'm not a pedophile! Ellie and I agreed to this as consenting adults. My feelin's changed when she matured…" he trailed off.

"I pretty much always wanted to nail him," Ellie added with a nostalgic smile.

Fuckin' unpredictable hormones.

"You're not adding to our credibility," Joel growled with his eyes closed.

"Listen, I was always attracted to him, but I blew it off for a few years. Then, it got really intense, and I realized there was more. Even then I tried to avoid it; I tried to talk to some guys my age, I tried fucking everything but…I just…I just…" Ellie tried to explain, but was flustered.

God damn, still sweet as pie even when she's agitated.

"…You what, baby?" Joel asked in a whisper, now calmer, the sides of his lips almost turned in a smile, and was suddenly overwhelmed with the life they had built together.

"Joel is mine, and I'm his. We very literally cannot be with anyone else. I don't think we owe you more of an explanation than that," Ellie said with conviction.

Yet again, a moment of silence overwhelmed everyone.

At some point, Tommy sighed, and looked at Maria to yield, who seemed more than ready to fight it, but he seemed to calm her down.

He's always been a better man than me… don't know why I ever doubted him before.

"How long? That's all I wanna know," Maria prodded.

"Nineteen, I think. He pushed me away for a few years hoping I'd fuck off. I didn't..." she trailed off, and smiled softly to herself.

Joel scoffed.

"People are gonna talk," Tommy finally started, with heavy eyes.

"Let em' talk. Far as I'm concerned everyone who matters is covered. Considerin' the two of you and Cyrus already know..." Joel explained.

"They're sure to figure out eventually, Joel…do you wanna keep a secret?"

"If anyone has any questions about the situation, tell em' to ask me," Joel warned dangerously to everyone at the table, and solved the problem immediately.

Tommy scoffed.

"…I doubt you'll have any takers," he added without humor.

"Our lives have been nothing but struggle, it's time for me to be at peace; Ellie deserves it more than me…I'll do anything to protect that," Joel warned.

The room was quiet.

"Anything," Joel repeated.

Although it took quite some time, Maria and Tommy came to understand the situation as best they could, and that was all that Joel and Ellie wanted. More than anything, Joel hoped it hadn't been too stressful on Ellie. It was heavy, but it was over.

Free at last.

Something about the situation brought them closer; the acknowledgement that they'd kept such secrets together, made them realize it had always been the two of them against the world. The end of humanity, infected, loneliness, and depression just to name a quick few…but somehow, they had defended each other from it all.

Ellie had all but passed out on the couch from exhaustion. While she napped for a short while, Joel prepared a hot bath to offer her some sort of comfort. Lately, as she swelled with the child in her belly, she was quick to tire and ache.

Truth be told, he was quite surprised she had not experienced some sort of emotional breakdown during Tommy and Maria's visit, but she must have prepared herself well ahead of time. That was his main concern before the dinner, and he'd kept a close eye on her the entire night. However, the more carefully he watched her responses, the more in tune to her he felt again, like all the strain of the past few months had been nonexistent.

It was refreshing, and he hoped perhaps she felt it too. After all the hell he'd caused her, he desperately wanted her to feel as secure as she did before the pregnancy.

"Baby, wake-up," he nudged her awake on the couch, with a hand over the rounded bump of her womb.

"Shit, what time is it?" she questioned, voice deep with sleep.

"Only been asleep 'bout an hour. Made a bath, if you're up for it," he offered, and she smiled slowly in agreement.

He followed behind her as she climbed the steps. Although she had gained baby weight, her frame was still so small, to the point that it nearly worried him, but he brushed the thought aside.

As she paused to open the bathroom door, he bent slightly to kiss the top of her head as a means to say goodnight, and continued to walk toward their bedroom.

"You aren't coming?" she asked. He stopped in the bedroom door frame.

"Didn't know I was wanted," Joel replied as he turned around, and the genuine look of pleasant surprise moved her.

"You're always wanted," she simply said, and entered the bathroom with him on her heels.

As they undressed, Joel noticed her reluctance to face him, which was unusual. With a furrow of his brow, he pretended to be occupied with his belt buckle as he got a good look at her nude physique.

She's bigger than I thought…

Relief and satisfaction flowed through him, but she consistently avoided his gaze, and he suddenly felt like he was an intruder.

"What?" she spat.

"Takin' you in," he mumbled, and didn't look away.

She furrowed her brow, and scoffed, before she climbed into the water.

It filled all the way up to her chest. The steam was rolling off, and it made the room hazy.

"Holy shit, this is nice," she cooed.

"Took some extra time, but I figured it'd be worth it," he said as he slowly sat down behind her, for fear that he might accidentally scare her off.

She's awfully skittish…

"It's not you, Joel…" she said over her shoulder, as though she read his mind.

He shrugged it off, but appreciated the fact she tried to placate the situation.

"It...feels like it. How you holdin' up with all these changes?" he asked slowly, with his mouth close to her ear in the hope that it would cause her to relax. Something about her seemed tormented, and the fact that she was quick to brush off her feelings made him sick with worry in the pit of his stomach.

"Honestly, it isn't you. I just feel stupid, like a little kid," she said with a sad laugh.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he pressed quietly, and then felt her lean her weight back against him more comfortably.

There you go, baby, tell me what's wrong.

"I feel a little out of control with myself. I'm all over the place half the time with my feelings, and I'm starting to feel fat, even though I know it isn't logical," she admitted.

"That why you're bein' so shy?" he pressed, bewildered, though it made sense now.

"Yeah, I thought you understood?" she questioned, equally surprised.

"Why would I have understood?" he asked.

"Before you had Sarah, didn't your wife ever act like this?" she asked, and then he realized that she'd given him more credit than he deserved.

"I wouldn't know. We were both in school and then I stated workin' two jobs…this time around with you is my first real experience with a pregnancy," he admitted.

"That's awful," she said after a moment.

"It is awful," he agreed darkly.

He felt her settle closer to him, yet again. He felt like there was something in the air she was afraid to say. But, he didn't press her on it.

"Is it selfish for me to say that I'm glad we can share this first together?" she asked in a whisper, like she was ashamed of herself.

He chuckled in relief.

"Not at all; I'm just as glad," he replied honestly.

"At first, I thought the morning sickness was the worst, but that's been over for a while and now I'm convinced that the constant irritation and general discomfort bother me more," she admitted.

"So far, would you be willing to do it all over again?" he asked, generally curious.

"I'd like to think so…I do feel a bond with it…the baby, I mean… I'm just confused how that's gonna to morph into some love I've never experienced. Does that make sense?" she whispered again, and he smiled brightly.

"I thought the same thing before Sarah was born. There's...there's somethin' about the first time you see your kid…you'll understand soon," he promised, and she seemed to believe him, because she relaxed even further.

"Would you be willing to do it over again?" she asked in return.

"Aren't we already doin' that?" he replied lightly.

"Well, yes, but I mean after. Would you be willing to have another?" she pressed.

"Baby, let's just wait and see how things play out," he stated after a sigh, and began to massage the tension away in her neck with little circles.

"Mhmm, I got a 'let's see' from you. That's usually the most positive response in your repertoire," she praised, and he sighed.

He kissed the back of her neck.

"Do me a favor a rest a little. We had a long day," he pleaded, and almost on command she shut her eyes and fell asleep.

When the water started to cool, Joel wrapped her in a towel, carried her to their room, and snuggled against her to keep her warm. While she was asleep, he found himself fascinated with the child in her womb, and spent the rest of the night thinking of what they would do once the baby was born.

So, you a girl in there, or a boy?