Author's Note: Okay, here we go: the final chapter of this story! Hope you enjoy :).
Chapter Thirty-Five
Mid- October 2021 – Four Weeks Old (and Eighteen Months Old)
Veronica smiles tiredly as Logan's arms come around her from behind. She stands just outside the NICU unit, watching through the glass window as the medical team move swiftly and efficiently inside.
"Are you ready?" asks Logan, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"I think so," she replies, her eyes glued to one of the nurses, who is fussing over her son.
"He's coming home today," Logan's voice holds a hint of awe. "Finally."
"He is." She covers his hands with her own and squeezes them tightly.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him frown. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I'm scared," she admits softly. "This place is all he's known; it's all we've known for him. What if I can't handle it on my own?"
"You can," Logan assures her. "You've been amazing these last few weeks. Besides you're not alone; we're in this together."
"I know." She nods. "Can you believe it's only been four weeks? It feels like a lifetime. Remember when we held him for the first time, the day we named him?"
"I do," murmurs Logan. "It was awesome."
Late September 2021 – Four Days Old
The first four days are the hardest of Veronica's life. She's sore, still recovering from the c-section, and completely exhausted from spending twelve hours a day in the NICU with her baby boy.
She's been expressing every three hours, which is a little tricky given that her milk hasn't fully come in again, after having weaned Abi off breastmilk a few months ago—but the nurses tell her that any nutrition she can provide for her son will help him to grow, and that the more she does it, the quicker the milk will come in. Her baby is still too young to breastfeed, his sucking and swallowing reflexes not fully developed yet, so he's being fed the milk through a small tube that passes through his nose and down to his stomach.
Veronica hasn't been able to hold him yet, which has been really hard, and simply letting him hold her finger while she sings softly to him just doesn't cut it. She's been trying to cope with everything the best she can: by staying strong and not letting her emotions get the better of her, but there are moments, now and then, when she finds herself locked in the hospital restroom and sobbing tired, frustrated tears.
Logan spends as much time with her in the NICU as he can, but even though he has two weeks of parental leave, he still has to keep the household running while she's at the hospital. Still has to look after Abi when Heather or Keith can't, and finish off the preparations they didn't get a chance to complete before the baby arrived.
Her son is four days old now, and she hasn't even been able to pick him up yet. But that's all going to change today. In a few minutes, she'll finally have the chance hold him in her arms for the first time.
They still haven't chosen a name for him yet, despite spending the few weeks before she was admitted to the hospital slowly making their way through a large book of baby names. While they both had a few ideas before their little boy unexpectedly made his way into the world, the circumstances of his birth have made Veronica reconsider what kind of name they should choose. Her son is a fighter, a survivor, and she thinks his name should show that.
"Okay, Veronica." One of the nurses—a lovely woman named Sandy—approaches them, pulling Veronica from her thoughts. "Are we ready to try Kangaroo Care today?"
"Definitely." Veronica nods quickly, exchanging a smile with Logan, who has made sure to be here for this moment.
Kangaroo Care, she's learned, is a technique for holding premature babies, where you place them on your chest, giving skin-to-skin contact, as often as possible. It's supposed to help to increase breastfeeding and weight-gain rates, help regulate the baby's temperature and their sleeping patterns, and also reduce infant mortality and hospital-acquired infections.
As Sandy lifts the baby, wearing nothing but a diaper and tiny hat, out of his incubator, Veronica settles herself in the comfortable chair against the wall and undoes her shirt, pulling a blanket around her shoulders.
"Okay, here we go," says the nurse as she gently places the sleepy baby down on her chest.
Veronica's breath hitches as she feels the warmth of her son's soft, precious skin against hers. Her hands come up to cradle him as she wraps the material of her shirt around him to keep him warm, his small body nestled between her breasts, and she presses her lips together at the unexpected wave of emotion that rolls through her. She looks to Logan, finding a similar expression in his gaze as she suspects is in hers.
He smiles, his eyes watery, then shifts forward in his chair, reaching out to cover one of her hands with his. She returns the smile, looking down as his hand slides up, gently stroking their son's back with his fingers.
"Veronica…" he murmurs in wonder. "He's just…"
"Yeah." She blinks the tears from her eyes. "He is."
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek.
"I am." She nods. "I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, and I have no idea what I'm doing with him, but I'm okay. Better than okay."
Logan smiles warmly, rising up out of the chair and kissing her temple. He perches on the edge of her chair, his arm coming around her shoulder as he looks down at their son in her arms.
"He's incredible, isn't he?" he says, voice barely more than a whisper. "Look at him."
"He is," she agrees, her voice cracking on the words, her chest tight.
"You know what Dick said to me the other day?" he says. "He told me our son was gonna be fine, because he's half-Echolls and half-Mars. He said, and I quote, 'those are two strong, fighting bloodlines'."
Veronica smiles through her tears. "He did?"
"Yeah. And I completely agree," Logan tells her. "This one is a brave little fighter."
"He really is," she says, pausing for a second to stroke her son's small hat-covered head before she speaks again. "Logan, I want his name to reflect that."
"Yeah…" He frowns slightly, considering. "I want that, too."
"I was looking through the baby name book again this morning," she continues. "What do you think about Matthew Riley?"
"Matthew Riley?" He considers it for a moment.
"Uh huh. Matthew means 'gift from God'," she says, "and Riley means 'courageous'."
"Matthew Riley Mars Echolls," Logan tests it out, then gives an affirming nod. "I like it."
"I do, too," she says, then tilts her head in thought. "But… do you think it'll work if it's shortened? Matt Echolls doesn't exactly roll off the tongue."
"Hmm." He considers it. "Yeah, maybe not."
"But Riley Matthew doesn't sound right either."
"No, you're right, it doesn't," Logan agrees. "But, you know, there's no reason he can't use his middle name if he wants to, right?"
"Right." She nods, looking down at her sleeping son. "What do you think, little one? Are you a Matthew Riley?"
As if he's understood her, he squirms in her arms, a soft sound escaping his mouth.
"I think we have a winner." Logan gives a chuckle.
Veronica looks up at him and he smiles lovingly down at her, before lowering his mouth to hers for a tender kiss. When they part, Veronica finds herself caught up in his eyes again as they share an emotion-filled gaze… one that is interrupted when Sandy comes by to check on them.
"How are we doing, Veronica?" she says, snapping the two of them out of their gazing session. "All going well?"
Logan moves back to his own seat as Veronica nods, her hand sliding up her son's back, cradling his tiny body against her. "It is, thank you."
Sandy looks to Logan then. "Would Daddy like to hold him, too? Skin-to-skin contact from the father can also be invaluable to a premature baby."
Veronica looks to him, her heart skipping a beat at the thought of a bare-chested Logan cuddling his baby son. "You want to?"
Logan breaks into a grin. "Of course."
He shifts forward as if to reach for little Matthew… uh, Riley?—they really need to figure out which of the names they're actually going to call him by—but Veronica stops him with a tut and a shake of her head.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" She gestures to his shirt. "Gotta unbutton that first."
Logan glances around the NICU, looking a little uncomfortable, which makes Veronica grin.
"Come on, like you have anything to be self-conscious about." She scoffs. "I'm the one with my boobs half-out here."
Logan returns his eyes to her, smirking as his gaze drops to her chest, before he rolls his eyes and quickly undoes some of the buttons. Veronica can't help but chuckle at the soft intake of breath from Nurse Sandy when glimpses of his muscular chest are revealed. Yep, her husband is still a mighty fine specimen.
He shakes his head at her expression, then shifts forward to carefully lift the baby from her chest and place him on his own. Veronica buttons herself up as he settles back in the chair, gently cradling little Matthew Riley against his chest, his strong arms supporting him, large hand covering half of his tiny body.
"Oh, wow," he murmurs, gazing down at the baby with awe.
"You need to cover him with your shirt," says Veronica softly. "To keep him warm."
He does so, extremely gently and carefully, and Veronica can't take her eyes off them, at the picture they make. It makes her heart pound as it fills to the brim with love and affection for them both.
"Hi, there, little one," Logan says softly, almost whispering. "I'm your Daddy."
The reverence in his tone causes a lump to rise in Veronica's throat and tears begin to form in her eyes.
"Shit," she mutters, fanning herself, trying to get her emotions back under control.
"What?" Logan asks softly, dragging his eyes away from their son and focusing on her.
"Nothing." She shakes her head quickly, waving a hand dismissively. "You carry on."
He seems to know exactly how she's feeling though, because he smiles, his eyes filled with love, and reaches out a hand to her. She takes it, linking her fingers with his and squeezing lightly as she returns the smile.
Logan looks up to find Nurse Sandy is beckoning them into the NICU. He grabs the car seat they brought with them, while Veronica picks up her bag, and they go inside. Sandy informs them that Riley is ready to be discharged, and goes through a checklist of things they need to do and how they need to take care of him once they get him home. Veronica just nods along in understanding, obviously having learned a lot of it already during all of her time spent here, but if he's honest, it's all a little overwhelming for Logan.
They've timed it so that Veronica will be able to feed Riley just before they leave the hospital, and with any luck, he'll sleep during the car ride back to their beach house. As Veronica lifts Riley out of his tiny bed and settles into a comfy chair with him. Logan takes a seat beside her, smiling when Veronica catches his eye.
She's been through so much lately, but he's so proud of how well she's been coping, especially considering how difficult it was for her to come to terms with this pregnancy. But she's been really strong since Riley was born, spending hours and hours here in the NICU. The day she was discharged and had to leave their son here, all alone, was really tough for her, but after a much-needed breakdown in Logan's arms that evening, she held her head high and soldiered on, devoting as much love and time to their little baby as she could.
His gaze falls to his son. Riley has made excellent progress the last few weeks, and now he's finally been given the all-clear to come home. He was lucky that, at almost thirty-four weeks, he didn't have any major health problems, and simply needed to stay in the NICU until he was developed enough to be able to come home. As grateful as Logan is that that day has finally arrived, he has to admit he's a little nervous about what happens now. For the last four weeks, his son has had the luxury of around-the-clock care from an experienced team of medical staff… but in less than an hour, all that will be gone, and his baby's care will be entirely in Logan and Veronica's hands.
"You look lost in thought." Veronica's soft voice cuts through his musings and he looks up at her again. "What's up?"
"Sorry." He flashes her another smile. "I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you and Riley and Abi in my life."
Her expression softens, as she lets Riley grab onto her finger. "Aww, such a sweet talker."
"I love you." He leans in, close to her.
She smiles widely as she tilts her head up for a kiss. "I love you, too."
The journey home from the hospital is thankfully uneventful. As they hoped, Riley drifted off to sleep during his feed, so Veronica was able to strap him into the baby car seat they'd brought with them without waking him. Just like when they'd brought Abi home from the hospital, Veronica sits in the back of the car with the baby, leaving Logan to drive back to their house as carefully as he can.
Since it's a Saturday, Keith came over this morning to watch Abi while they went to the hospital, so when they arrive home and he's pulled into the driveway, Logan shoots Keith a quick text to let him know they're here. He helps Veronica and Riley out of the car, then lets himself in and holds open the front door so Veronica can carry Riley inside as gently as possible.
"Hey, we're home," he calls out softly as he places Riley's baby bag down onto the floor in the foyer.
They enter the living room to find Keith on the couch, Abi sitting beside him she flips through her favourite book, pointing out the different farm animals in the pictures as she goes.
"Veronica, Logan," Keith says warmly. "Welcome back."
"Thanks, Dad," says Veronica as she carefully places Riley's car seat down on the carpet and kneels down beside him.
"Momma!" Abi looks up from her book with a delighted smile, discarding it onto Keith's lap.
"Hi there, sweet thing," she says. "Would you like to meet your little brother?"
"Uh huh." Abi scrambles down off the sofa and over to Veronica, who scoops her up into her lap as Logan takes a seat on the other side of the car seat.
"He's sleeping, so you need to be quiet, okay?" Veronica tells their daughter softly as she slides Abi onto the floor so she can kneel in front of the baby.
Logan smiles widely, his chest tightening with emotion as he watches his daughter gaze at the tiny baby with wonder. They decided not to bring Abi to the NICU while Riley was there because she isn't really old enough to understand what goes on there, and they didn't want to scare her.
"This is Riley," Veronica tells her. "Your baby brother."
"Be-be?" Abi questions.
"Yes, that's right." Logan nods.
Abi reaches out a small hand toward Riley, and Logan resists the urge to stop her from grabbing at the sleeping baby, but Veronica just shoots him a warning look, and all he can do is watch as Abi simply lets her hand rest gently on Riley's romper-covered feet.
"Can you say Riley?" asks Veronica softly.
Abi looks up at her with wide eyes. "Why-ee?"
"There you go." Veronica shoots Logan a grin.
"Umm," Keith speaks up then, as he eases himself to the edge of the couch. "As lovely as it is to see this little one again, I think I'll let you have some family time."
Logan gives a nod, as he stands up and walks Keith to the door. "Thanks for looking after her this morning, Keith."
"Oh, it was my pleasure." Keith smiles. "She's a little angel."
"Hmm, I beg to differ on that one," he jokes.
"Listen," says Keith then. "Anytime you need some extra help, just let me know, okay? I'm happy to do whatever I can."
"Thanks. We appreciate it."
Logan sees him out, then heads back into the living room to join his family. His family. Of four. He has two children now. Who would have thought it, huh?
He moves to sit down on the floor again, but the baby chooses that moment to stir, waking with a soft cry, so instead, he lifts Abi up into his arms so that Veronica can unbuckle Riley from the car seat. He needs changing, so Logan keeps Abi occupied with another book while Veronica carries him to the nursery.
When Veronica reappears a few minutes later, Riley in her arms, she sinks down next to them on the couch. As Abi makes herself comfortable between them, Logan slides his arm around Veronica's shoulder and leans in to kiss her temple.
"Be-be?" Abi pipes up a moment later, as she leans forward to look at Riley.
"Would you like to hold him?" Veronica asks.
She adjusts Riley in her arms, then carefully places him down in Abi's lap. Their daughter's arms come around the top of his head and his torso, and Logan gently supports his head for her as Abi awkwardly tries to cuddle him.
"There you go, baby girl," he murmurs. "Look, you're a big sister now."
He glances over at Veronica again, only to find her watching him with an adoring smile. Careful not to jostle the baby, he leans across and kisses her gently. Veronica lets her head rest against his shoulder as they gaze down at their children.
Logan feels a lump form in his throat at the sight before him, marvelling at the fact that they're all together as a family for the first time ever.
It's everything that, at one time, he never thought he wanted. It's everything he never thought he would get the chance to have. And now that he finally has it, it's absolutely perfect.
End.
Author's Note: Wow... it's been 4 years and almost 2 months since I started this series (2.5 years since I started this installment) and this is actually where I'd always planned for it to end, even before I'd plotted out all the fics in the series.
It's been an awesome journey exploring these few years of Veronica and Logan's lives together, and I'm so pleased that I've finally been able to get to my end goal (despite the 6-month gap in writing caused by S4)