Notes:
Warning:
The Suicide and Death themes are strong in this chapter. Trigger Warnings do apply in this chapter, so read at your own discretion.
Chapter 5
The Desperate
'The Holy Tomb.' Dimitri wondered once he was indoors once more. How would he even transport Byleth in this rain? The professor seemed to think there was a solution down there – although he started to wane in the middle of his reasoning.
"You can't take him there," The woman in white blocked his path, "It isn't safe."
"I am beginning to really distrust you," Dimitri growled, "Byleth said that he needed to go to the Holy Tomb. I will take him."
"Even if you could brave these conditions, you don't understand what lurks in the Holy Tomb," She urgently explained.
"I don't have time for this," Dimitri pressed passed her and launched himself up the stairs. He saw Dedue standing guard and he pointed out immediately, "Your Highness. You are completely soaked."
Dimitri had not realized it, but he left a trail of water behind him. Water pooled off the ends of his hair and his coat clung to his person. Still, he was given an order.
"Dedue." Dimitri said, "Can we take the professor to the Holy Tomb?"
The Duscar man eyed out the nearest window and saw the large droplets aggressively hitting the pane, "It would be impossible."
Why was everything against him right now!? Dedue was right, of course. To get to the Holy Tomb, they would have to go back outside for a moment, and with Byleth's life threatening wounds, that journey was a monumental risk.
"You should change clothes," Dedue suggested, "Put those up over the fire to dry. I am sure there are some dry slacks in the storage room."
"Tch," Dimitri could not argue with Dedue. To buy himself some time to think, Dimitri went into the storage room and found a pair of evening clothes to change into. He undressed fully – the rain managed to seep through to his undergarments.
After he put on the evening attire and found a spare pair of boots, he draped his clothes over the fireplace in the break room and came face to face with the woman in the white dress again.
"Dimitri. Listen to me, child," She said.
"We're the same age, by the looks of it," Dimitri pointed out, "So, who are you? Really?"
"The women in my bloodline age very well," She curtsied, "But . . . that is far from the point. I need you to abandon this goal of taking Byleth to the Tomb. It is not safe."
"So you said before. And why should I believe you?" Dimitri asked defiantly.
"I am the one who allowed you to speak with him," She reminded, "I have no reason to sabotage you. Byleth has a perfectly valid reason for thinking that Tomb could help him – but he doesn't realize that since Rhea's been missing and his state has deteriorated, that the Holy Tomb has become treacherous."
"Treacherous in what way?" Dimitri folded his arms.
"There are secrets to this place that the Archbishop had sealed away. Without her power, such secrets have stirred. To take him there would have unattended adverse effects. I can keep them at bay while he heals, but you would be sending him in the mouth of the very beasts who want him dead."
"Tell me more of these 'beasts', then." Dimitri asked, formulating a plan of attack.
"Once Byleth awakens, they will retreat. It is only because he is weak that they fester." She seemed to be telling the truth, but her words were riddled.
"Why not end them now?" Dimitri prepared to take down anyone that threatened Byleth.
"To . . . completely eradicate them you must destroy the nucleus that binds them all together. To do that . . . you would have to find the core that brought them life in the first place. Or, at least, that is the only method that I know of."
"The core that brought them life?" Dimitri's forehead scrunched, "Is that like the demonic beasts and those experiments the empire does?"
"Hm . . . I suppose so. At any rate, that core was damaged tonight. As a result, they woke up. They want the core back."
Dimitri did not understand, "So, where is this core? How did it get damaged?"
"I cannot tell you," She walked away as she gave her last bid, "But . . . their goals align with Byleth's downfall. Do not take him to the Holy Tomb, no matter what."
Dimitri ran after her, but the woman managed to lose him again. Who – or what – was that she? Dedue noticed him again and asked, "You look troubled. What is wrong?"
"Did you see a woman pass by?"
Dedue shook his head, "No."
A woman who Dimitri saw, but disappeared around everyone else. In truth, if Flayn had not seen this woman as well, Dimitri would have thought that she was a figment of his imagination. That Flayn saw her made the enigmatic woman all too real.
So, why had no one else seen her yet? Aloof did not quite explain the mysterious methods in which she moved. There was no where she could have vanished – and yet, she slipped away even in these narrow halls.
"Am I able to visit him?" Dimitri asked Dedue.
"No. He is undergoing strenuous healing rituals."
Dimitri understood, though he just wanted to return to Byleth's side. There was too much left that Dimitri wanted to ask the professor and a lot he wanted to do with him . . . Dimitri would do anything to ensure the professor's survival.
Dimitri noticed the lack of presence on the third floor, "Where is everyone else? Our class?"
"Seteth is in the audience chamber. I don't know about anyone else."
Dimitri wondered about Seteth and Flayn. He thanked Dedue for the information and headed toward the chamber. Seteth stood before the throne in prayer, "Please Mother. If you are listening and able, please turn this situation around. I cannot fathom how our condition marred so hastily."
"Mother?" Dimitri asked. To invoke one's mother over the Goddess, especially from Seteth, was odd.
Seteth turned around and scolded, "Goddess, do not sneak up on me right now! . . . How can I help you?" He asked tersely.
"I was hoping for an update. How is Flayn?"
"Recovering. She fell asleep. I have not seen anyone else to learn of the woman in white's search progression. Unless you can provide one?"
Dimitri debated it – his interactions with the woman were downright mystic and the prince wondered if Seteth would dismiss him. "The woman in white. I have seen her. She claims that there are enemies lurking in the Holy Tomb . . . what are your thoughts on that?"
"The Holy Tomb? How would that be possible?" Seteth questioned, "I need you to tell me all that you know."
After a moment of recollection, Dimitri told Seteth about the graveyard visits and the appearance she just made, but did not tell him about the dream. With Seteth filled in, the advisor comprehended, "Nucleus and core that brought these creatures life. The core was damaged tonight? I wonder if that could possibly mean . . ."
"I am listening," Dimitri waited for Seteth to explain his hypothesis on those ambiguous words.
"If the 'core' was damaged then I could only think of one explanation, though it is on the farfetched side . . ."
Dimitri laughed internally at that and expressed, "Nothing is farfetched anymore. Whatever it is you think it may be could help."
Seteth appreciated the sentiment and said, "The core was damaged and Byleth –" Seteth's words were cut off by sudden commotion in the hall. "What is going on this time?"
He and Dimitri hurried to see the mages scrambling once more, shouting between the magically proficient and the medically trained. "Report!" Seteth called to them, "What is happening?"
"The wound caused by the arrow is not healing," one of the healers said, "It pierced his heart from behind and we can't get it to mend."
"And the professor?" Dimitri asked forwardly.
The magic medic shook his head, "We're starting to lose him again, sir . . ."
"Seteth!" Dimitri felt all those negative emotions incubated within beginning to unleash once more, "What is lurking in the Holy Tomb? If we're going to lose Byleth standing around here, would risking the journey be justified?"
"What are you suggesting, prince?" Seteth asked just as worked up.
Dimitri returned, "The throne in the Holy Tomb. If we rest his body there, will that help his odds?"
"And how do you know about that?" Seteth's eyes went wide. "Of course, under normal circumstances that might just work. If this woman is correct and something is awake down there . . . Ugh. Goddess, what do we do?"
"You thought you knew something about that core? What is it?"
"It's another word for a Crest Stone if I am following her logic correctly. The stone that gave those creatures life . . . if she's correct, then she's referring to a specific stone and that Lady Rhea . . ." Seteth trailed off, battling something within himself.
"Argh!" Dimitri lost his temper, "Can you just come out with it!?"
"That same core that was damaged tonight was pierced by an arrow," Seteth concluded, "Byleth's heart and the core are the same thing."
"Wh-What?" Dimitri was taken aback, "But how? That doesn't make any sense!"
Seteth went very quiet and steadily explained, "If I am correct, then there is only one way wherein it does. That woman in white . . . could she be one of them?"
"Them who!?" None of this made any sense to Dimitri. The mages were hustling again – and it distracted Dimitri. 'He's dying! What do I do?'
"Those creatures are desperate to revive," Seteth decided, "We can't . . . we can't take him there. They would devour him."
"You can't mean they would actually eat him, right?" Dimitri asked for clarification. The look on Seteth's face, however, told Dimitri that it was a literal statement. 'The Holy Tomb is not safe. He's dying. What can we do!?' Dimitri felt a pressure headache building again. He was useless in this – not a healer and unable to move him to the one place that may help Byleth, Dimitri sat outside waiting for the inevitable.
Was there really nothing he could do?
If Byleth truly possessed the ability to turn back time, he must. "I need to talk to him," Dimitri muttered to himself, fully realizing that this current line of events was damned. This path only ended in death.
Dimitri ran down the stairs, much to Seteth's surprise, and hoped to cross paths with the woman in white. 'I have to speak with him! The only way to survive this is to erase this altogether. It's the only way'. Dimitri told himself as he ran toward the cathedral.
The rain poured as it had been. He encountered no one else along the way – the enemies must have fled and the allies took cover because of the elements.
He stopped on the bridge, soaked in his recently changed clothing, and waited in front of where Byleth and he spoke in the dream. "Byleth!" Dimitri called, hoping to interact with the spirit form. 'How else could I speak with him?'
Neither the woman nor Byleth appeared before him. He was alone, trounced by rain. 'This can't be how this ends . . .'
Only the rain greeted him.
'Is there nothing I can do?'
Lightning streaked across the sky and a roaring of thunder answered the bright, unwelcoming light.
'I can't just fall asleep again. That's how we talked the last time, right? I was asleep. Dreaming.'
Dimitri turned around and saw the professor's knife lodged into a dead attacker's forehead. Dimitri squatted over the man and, with some difficulty, pulled out the knife. Instantly, the blood washed off. Cleansed. The diluted red subsistence drizzled down Dimitri's arm and stained his sleeves, pants, and boots.
'If I can't sleep . . . then . . .'
He examined the knife. Without the colorful blue sheath, a dull and dark gray blade with an intricate hilt took view.
'If this is not the correct path. . .'
The blade matched the hilt in color. Simple. Elegant.
'I need to cut a desirable one.'
Dimitri stood up with the blade in hand and called out, "Byleth!" No one answered him but the sound of his own voice reverberating back. Dimitri felt his own heartbeat. Fast. Pumping valuable blood throughout his body, it mocked him. Dimitri outlasted death for so long and for no sound reason.
Dimitri extended his arm outward with the knife pointed at his chest. He was, in that moment, frightened. When he finally faced the choice to end it all, he was met with fear. He gave either the woman or Byleth one final chance to appear. One final chance to dissuade him.
The only reaction came from a loud crackle from the heavens. Apparently, the Goddess herself approved.
He cupped his other hand around his knuckles and prepared to drive the knife inward. He felt sick to his stomach as the pulse pounded in every facet throughout his body. He closed his eye. The nerves of going through with this gave him a final pause.
Dimitri convinced himself and found conviction. With no further hesitation, he plunged the dagger into his heart and the results were instantaneous. It was not pain that he felt. It was sudden drowsiness and the inability to stand.
He fell forward and the world around him spiraled. He felt a rupture explode in his head, thinking it might have been thunder at first. But . . . no, it came within.
Dimitri next found himself on the same bridge under a sunrise. It was beautiful. The chaos from before suddenly seemed to slip away.
"What were you thinking!?" A familiar voice yelled at him. A voice that normally does not shout. "I told you not to kill yourself, Dimitri!" Byleth. He had an uncharacteristically enraged face for someone usually so calm.
"Byleth," Dimitri smiled, knowing he succeeded.
"Don't. I am very upset with you right now."
"But I needed to talk to you," Dimitri rationalized, "And here you are."
Byleth only frowned more. His eyes burned with some really fierce anger, "Normal people don't put a dagger through their own heart to communicate with someone. Why couldn't you just be patient for once?"
"The mages said you were dying. The woman in white showed me I could talk to you. And you're here. So. . . are you able to turn back time now?"
"That's your great plan?" Byleth exhaled sharply, "You ended your life on a whim that I'd be able to perform the Divine Pulse? I told you why it wasn't a reliable option earlier, Dimitri!"
"Life is too meaningless without you," Dimitri argued, "If you can't turn back time then I die with you. If you can, then we both survive. Either way, I'm with you in the end."
Byleth crossed his arms and turned away, "You are so far off the mark. I can't survive this encounter on my own, but you've forced my hand. I have no choice but to try to save your life. And I will give you no hints next time."
"You know, Byleth." Dimitri felt calmer than he had in his entire adult life. Death was surprisingly tranquil. "I will probably just come to the same conclusion, with or without your wisdom. My mind cannot take your loss and so suicide might be my only answer."
"You can't really believe that," Byleth remained closed-off from Dimitri. Why? All Dimitri could feel was the lifting of an overbearingly unfair responsibility that left him mentally crippled and disillusioned. All Dimitri wanted to do now was take Byleth and enjoy each other's company.
"Oh. If you manage to turn back time," Dimitri changed the topic, "There's something you should know about the Holy Tomb. I don't know the specifics but it's too dangerous to go there. Some type of beasts have awakened and will try to kill you."
Byleth squinted his eyes and still remained irritable, "Well, that's something to consider. But I have not even began to forgive you for this."
Dimitri nodded and continued to feel euphoric, "That's fine. You can't stay mad at me forever, right? Or did I finally find a way for you to hate me?"
"Do you realize what you've done? You've just willfully abandoned all of the people who count on us! I am trying to fight through my own injuries, but you threw it all away."
Dimitri walked forward, "You think I abandoned everyone? I think I did them a favor."
"And Dedue? Have you considered his feeling? Or do you think you've done him a 'favor', too?" Byleth stopped Dimitri from getting any closer with an outstretched arm and a palm on his chest.
"Dedue is strong." Dimitri said and caressed the hand on his chest. Even as spirits, Byleth's hands were warm and inviting, "He has brothers who can carry out his plans to restore Duscar. I value his friendship, Byleth. But I just can't do this anymore. I can't lose you, specifically."
Byleth pulled away his hand and said, "They still have to survive this war, and I don't foresee Edelgard showing them mercy. Seteth would never ally with her, regardless – do you think the monastery would, either?"
"What's done is done," Dimitri shrugged then watched the unmoving sunrise. "The only one who can change things is you. The war carries on with or without us . . . and those who die are rewarded with something as peaceful as this? I wonder why we fear death now."
"I don't know what lies beyond the sunrise. It could be pleasant or it could be something worse," Byleth said and faced Dimitri, "All I know for certain is the soul survives beyond death."
"That's fantastic news, wouldn't you agree?" Dimitri could not take his eyes off the sunrise. The wonderful mix of red and yellow tones against a light blue backdrop.
"It's almost as if you are ready to move on," Byleth sighed, easing up, "I see. With your life, I can't imagine why you would linger here. Don't stray too far away. I'm not ready to give up just yet, even if you are."
"Don't worry," Dimitri assured, "I won't go anywhere without you. Life or death, I will stick with you."
"We have to work on realistic boundaries once we resolve this," Byleth scolded with some sass, then he began to focus. Dimitri saw the shimmering of the golden circle take form. As the circle formed the world around them began to change. Green orbs floated in the air. Dimitri carefully touched one with his pointer finger and felt a burning sensation rush through the entirety of his body.
It only hurt on the tip of his finger – everywhere else felt revitalized. In the corner of his eye, however, he saw lines crack the sky. Then the earth. Everywhere he looked, the world began to break and pull apart.
Soon, all the grand pieces shattered and left a darkness behind. A purple scaled image of what used to exist outlined everything, and suddenly that sunrise felt more ominous.
"Don't worry," Byleth chuckled at Dimitri's expression, "This is what normally happens."
"Th-then this world is . . .?"
"Disappearing. Being overwritten." The events of the last few hours replayed in reverse while the images were stained purple. To see it all unfold was a daunting experience. "I will go back as far as I can. I wonder . . . I hope that you will remember this. You might . . . be able to." Byleth stumbled forward, reacting to a painful outburst from his heart, but maintained the Pulse.
"Byleth!" Dimitri wanted to support him, but Byleth shook his head.
"Don't get too close. I don't know what will happen if you do." There were words etched into the circle. Dimitri realized there were several sentences. What he could make out said, '. . .in the Goddess . . .' but the closer he examined, the more out of focus the words became.
A bright white light expelled at their feet and it overtook everything, including Byleth and Dimitri separately. The light made Dimitri fall unconscious and it felt like his memories were slipping away.
'Byleth . . . I must save . . . my professor'