Well, I said it would be up by the end of the week, and it's 11:00 Sunday. Score. This is a really long chapter, and totally not the chapter that was originally supposed to be chapter 3. Chapter 3 is now chapter 5. Go figure. Still, that mean that this story will have 2 more chapters in total :)
My summer holidays have started now, so in theory I will have more time to write. We'll see...
This chapter is a little angsty, but gets fluffier towards the end :) Enjoy!
Oh, and please check out the VA movie facebook/twitter page to see info about getting a Frostbite movie. It needs the entire VAfamily's support!
RPOV
I slowed to a walk, hitting a button on my watch to clock the time of my run. The heat was getting to be a little oppressive to run anyway, so I was glad for the interruption.
"Hi Merri, how are you? I haven't seen you around much lately."
She smiled, and once again I was so glad that she'd forgiven me for the whole knocking-out thing; and not just the time at Court. Meredith seemed to have a magnetic force pulling her face towards my fist.
"You're the one who's always off doing something interesting. Gate duty's been boring without you to insult everyone that drives through. I've had to partner up with Shane instead."
I looked at her knowingly. "Because I'm sure that's such a hardship for you."
She blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yeah right," I snorted, but let it drop. "Was there something you wanted, or did you just come to save me from heatstroke?"
Meredith pulled an envelope out of her blazer pocket. How she was coping with her coat on in this weather was beyond me. "I wanted to RSVP your wedding invite."
I took the paper eagerly. "Can you make it? I know that it's a lot to ask for you to come to Russia, but my dad's giving us the jet..." I trailed off, realising I was rambling a little.
"Of course I'll be there. Us St. Vlads girls stick together, right? Plus, maybe I can pick up a hot Russian of my own," she said with a wink.
"Or maybe Shane told you that he RSVPd yesterday?" I knew it was mean, but I couldn't help myself. They'd made the mutual decision to split up after graduation, not wanting their relationship to get in the way of their duty. However, I believed that after seeing Dimitri and I make it work, Meredith was hoping to get back with him.
Right now, however, she didn't want to admit it, instead changing the subject. "So how's the planning been going?"
"Pretty good actually. Lissa's been nagging us to get the details sorted, and I actually have dress shopping booked for next week."
"Oh, that's exciting!" Meredith had a gift for making everything sound sincere, and you could tell she truly meant it.
"Actually, now that you're here, I was wondering if you'd be around to sub in as a near guard next Thursday? I'll be trying dresses on so can hardly fight properly, and I really don't want some random guy being there. It would actually mean a lot if you would be there at the fitting."
She nodded enthusiastically. "Sure, I'll check with Hans. Who else were you thinking of bringing?"
"My mom will be the other official near, but Dimitri's sister is a Guardian as well. I was thinking Serena for mid-far, and whoever else if free beyond that." Since Lissa was Queen, she didn't just have Near and fFr guards, but mid guards as well to act as a liaison, meaning that the Fars could expand the perimeter.
"How's everything with your mom?" Meredith asked as we headed back to the gym. "I know you've had some rough patches, but you seemed to have sorted things out now. Has she been involved in the planning at all?"
Suddenly, that niggling feeling that had been resting in my guy grew stronger as its cause was identified.
Since I had been preoccupied and she had hardly been around in other important times during my life, my mom's recent absence from the planning process hadn't really registered with me. Now, however, I realised that we'd barely had more than one short conversation about my upcoming wedding.
Hoping Meredith hadn't noticed my momentary lapse, I covered my doubt with a joke. "Well, since she hasn't punched me in the face, I'd say it's going well."
She laughed, and I relaxed. Honestly, I'd been hiding my mom-related insecurities with wit for most of my life; there was no reason for them to have stopped working just because I had stopped hating her.
We reached the gym, and split off into different shower cubicles. "I'll put you on the confirmed list, then. I'll chase the others for their replies because we need final numbers before Dimitri's mom comes next week."
"Are you afraid there won't be enough food?" Meredith teased.
"The opposite- I'm worried we'll be drowning in it!"
Dimitri looked up as I entered the HQ, a small smile appearing when he saw it was me. Meredith said something that sounded suspiciously like 'so cute' before heading over to her own desk on the other side of the room.
Dimitri and I had originally been separated as much as possible, but I'd slowly been stealing my way across the room one desk at a time, either begging, brining or threatening people to give up their seat. When Hans had finally noticed, Dimitri and I had been 2 desks apart, and he hadn't wanted to admit there was a problem by making a scene and moving us away.
Our eyes met I allowed my arm to brush against his as I walked past- our usual greeting when we were on duty and were supposed to act professional. Sometimes we broke protocol a little, but we'd agreed to be on our best behaviour until the wedding to make up for the time we were having off.
The Dimitri-induced happiness faded a little as I took in the huge stack of paperwork on my desk that had to be completed before my active shift after lunch.
2 hours later I finished the last report. During all our training, they'd never mentioned just how inescapable paperwork was for a Guardian. Working at Court and being the head of the Queen's guard tripled that amount. I loved my job, but sometimes it sucked.)))))
Finally, I was free. I'd sat through Lissa's board meeting and completed my shift on ward duty. As I went back into HQ, I was surprised to see Dimitri back at his desk. I'd seen him walking around with Christian, and his shift was supposed to finish after that. Hopping up to sit on the edge of his desk, I reached over and stole his pen.
"Hey comrade, what are you doing back here?"
He looked up from the form he had been diligently filling in, handwriting so neat it was barely discernible from the printed text above it. If I didn't love him, I'd hate him for his ability to do everything so perfectly.
"I said I'd do Mikhail's paperwork so he could leave early to go and see Sonya. Didn't you get my text?"
Rolling my eyes, I got my phone out of my pocket to see a message waiting in the screen.
Covering Mikhail's shift, won't be off til 7 x
"Oh yeah, I did. Guess I forgot to take it off silent this morning."
"You probably haven't got your pager, either, have you?"
"Not really." He got that mildly irritated look, but since he probably felt guilty about not coming home straight away didn't bother to give me a lecture. "Actually, I'll get my mom over to catch her up on the latest plans." I frowned.
"What's that look for?"
"Nothing. I mean, does she actually know anything? She's been so busy lately that she hasn't even seen the friggin' scrapbook."
Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "The scrapbook you think is stupid?"
"It is stupid, and it's also full of Lissa's ridiculous ideas for dresses that cost more than our yearly salaries combines. But my mom should have been the first one to point out how stupidly frivolous everything is." I pouted.
Dimitri smiled, resting his hand on my knee. "Your mom only left about 20 minutes ago, so she probably won't be busy right now. Show her the 'stupid scrapbook'.
Barely sparing a glance around the room to see if anyone was looking, I leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"I will. S'later comrade."
With that I slid off the desk and grabbed the bag I had originally come here to get before skipping out of the building.
On my way back to the palace, I called my mom.
"Hey, can you come over?"
"Why?" Was her abrupt reply. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Dimitri's working late, so that means microwave dinner and reality TV without disapproving looks."
She paused. "I'll be over in a minute."
I ended the call, chuckling to myself as I did so.
In the week after my shooting, before I'd been allowed back on active duty, my mom had come to 'babysit' me one day, much to my protests. So much for not coddling me. Still, my tactic for getting rid of her (watching Jeremy Kyle) had actually resulted in the two of us sitting on the couch and eating popcorn. Turns out that the dysfunctional families on there had made our own relationship look normal, and we'd bonded through that. When Dimitri come home with Abe in tow, however, they'd been too stunned to speak by our mutual disparaging of the girl who'd gotten pregnant by one of three brothers whilst she'd been dating a completely different guy. Since then, watching it with either of the men in the room had resulted in teasing comments, so we only watched it when we knew that nobody would be there to judge us (or spread the rumour around Court like Abe had joked).
When mom got to our apartment, she had that expression of mild self-loathing that she always did before one of these junk-food-and-worse-TV binges.
Putting a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table for her- low calorie, unsweetened, low salt- I sat down with my own bowl of full fat, caramel covered popcorn.
"We have another half hour before it airs," I informed mom as she took her place beside me. "Do you want to see how the wedding's going? I need to have the food set before Olena comes next week, and want to choose flowers. I've already left it really late, but Karolina's friend's mom is a florist, so it should be fine."
Mom frowned. "Isn't there an episode recorded?"
I blinked. "Um, no." It was like she hadn't heard anything past the first sentence. "But maybe we could go over flowers for a bit? Lissa's insisting that there have to be some roses, but I'm not sure. Is it weirder to have them or not to-"
To my astonishment, mom got her phone out and focussed on the screen rather than me. She tapped out a message before putting it back on the table. "I'm sorry Rose, something's come up. Rain check?"
I couldn't answer, stunned at her complete dismissal of what I was saying.
"I'll just grab a drink of water if you don't mind, then I have to run."
She disappeared into the kitchen, and after a few moments of allowing the shock to wear off I reached out and grabbed her phone off the table.
Typing in the password I'd seen her use a moment ago, I was glad for the Guardian observational skills the Academy had drummed into me from an early age.
Opening up the messages, I wanted to see what was so urgent that my mom had been forced to bail.
Abe's text conversation came up, but the last one he's sent to her was this early morning asking 'where his Guardian had gone'. No way did I want to scroll up any further- that text that early in the morning could only mean one thing, and I didn't want to think about it.
Instead I focussed on the most recent text that my mom had sent.
My blood boiled.
Called off plans with Rose, will be over earlier than expected. Will let myself in.
There was no emergency, and from that text it didn't even sound like she had anything better to do. Sitting in Abe's empty apartment rather than here with me?
I didn't bother to put the phone back on the table when my mom came out of the kitchen. When she saw me she came to a halt, face becoming blank as she took in both my expression and the phone in my hand.
"Don't stop on my account," I said, "you wouldn't want to be late to your very important date with an empty room."
"You looked at my messages."
"You lied to me!" I couldn't believe that she was still doing that pretending-not-to-hear-me thing. "If you had something better to do then why did you say you could come over?"
"I wanted to spend time with you-"
"So much so that you're pissing off after 5 minutes!"
She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry that I'm leaving Rose, but I think you're overreacting a little."
"Well I don't think I am. It's taken me a while to realise it because you've been so clever about it, but it seems like every time I mention the wedding something else more important just 'comes up'. That's if you're speaking to me at all. Yeah, I've noticed how you've been avoiding Dimitri and I lately."
Mom looked outraged now, her face beginning to take on the colour of her hair. Something told me, though, that perhaps embarrassment at being caught was adding to the effect. "You're being utterly ridiculous Rosemarie, and-"
"Don't call me Rosemarie," I snapped. "It makes me feel like I'm five."
"Well, you're acting like you are."
"You know, maybe I'll drop 'Marie' when I add Belikov to my name. That should make tax returns easier." That was a little cruel, I knew, but I wasn't expecting to see such deep hurt flash in my mother's eyes. I should have stopped there, but I was too hot and stressed and angry and I just wanted to get an answer. "That's why, isn't it? You're jealous!"
"Don't be absurd. Why would I be jealous?" She looked ready to snap at any moment, so like that time in the gym, I kept pushing.
"You're upset because you screwed up your own relationship with Abe and with me, and now you don't want to watch me be happy." What I really wanted was for her to deny this and start taking an interest.
It didn't work like that.
She snapped. Shooting up out of her seat, my mother stalked forwards so that she was standing in front of me, anger making her seem a few inches taller. "No, I can just see clearly. You're a child, Rose, and you can play house and plan weddings with Belikov all you like, but eventually you're both going to realise that you're living in a fantasy world. The illusion will fade." Each word was like a slap in the face, the last one worse than the rest. "This whole thing is rushed and based on a split second decision. After I overcame my initial misgivings, I was happy for you when you announced your engagement, but now I fear that I was right at the beginning. You're just too young Rose; you haven't had time to live your own life and you're already tying yourself to someone else."
Her voice had dropped back to a normal level, and though the words had become sympathetic sounding, her time was still harsh. "You're nineteen; you don't know what you're going to want five, ten years down the line. The same goes for Dimitri as well. All of this will just make it harder when the relationship eventually ends because reality breaks up your daydream."
I would not cry in front of my mother. I would not let her see how much she'd hurt me. That had been my mantra when, on my 10th birthday, she'd never arrived at the Academy to see me like she promised. I'd held back the tears, sworn an oath to hate my mother forever, then gone to eat the biscuit-cake Lissa had hastily made me whilst acting like my heart wasn't broken over my mother' slack of love.
I thought we were above such things, but apparently I had been wrong.
"Get out," I whispered.
Mom looked taken aback. "What-"
"Get out of my home!" I shouted. "If I'm just playing house, then that's fine, because I get to make the rules. Leave me in peace to live out whatever time I have left in my 'fantasy world', because guess what. You're not a part of that!"
I could see my words stung as we stood face-to-face in a heated standoff, our two sets of matching eyes locked in something not unlike a staring contest.
Without warning my mom turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, grabbing her jacket and slamming the door on her way out.
I couldn't believe what she'd said. Yes, any other mother might have the right to tell their ordinary daughter that she didn't know what she wanted at nineteen. But I wasn't ordinary. I'd begun training for my career when I was three years old; was sworn to protect at the cost of my own life. I'd seen loved ones die for that same cause and had travelled the world and broken laws just to have a chance at getting back what I undoubtedly knew I wanted. Dimitri and I weren't living in a fantasy world- we knew that either one of us could die any day and the other wouldn't be able to do anything as our duty to our charges had to come first.
My anger began to dissipate at that sobering thought, and I wondered how another Guardian couldn't understand that, and if my own mother couldn't support this, then the worst was still to come.
I dropped heavily onto the sofa, covering my face with my hands. As well as being a commitment to each other, marriage was supposed to be a way to show the world that devotion. But all we would get for it would be more incredulous stares, gossip and comments about how we were neglecting our duties. I wasn't blind tho these things, or the sacrifices Dimitri and I were both making by committing ourselves to being with another Dhampir- a Guardian no less- and I was truly offended that my mom believed I didn't know this.
And yes, I was a teenage girl getting married in 3 weeks time. A large part of me just wanted my mother to be happy for me and support me.
I cried. I cried for the things I was forcing Dimitri to give up, I cried for the things I had to sacrifice, I cried because either of us could die and leave the other alone, I cried because my mother was a bitch, I cried because a part of me was still a wounded little girl who felt abandoned by her parents, and I cried because the invite paper had been off-white and not Ivory. I cried because our guest list should have been twice as long as it was; there were people that would have been happy and supported us that couldn't attend as their lives had been snuffed out too soon. I cried because I'd broken my vow never to cry over my mother again.
The door opened behind me and I shot up, ready to dart into my bedroom in case it was Lissa. I couldn't let her see me cry.
"My shift finished early," Dimitri said from the hallway. I turned, instinctively following the voice that was the only sound able to reach me in my darkest moments. "Rose, why was your..."
When he saw me, puffy-eyed with a tear-streaked face, he only paused for a moment before doubling his speed.
"Roza?"
DPOV
In the end, it didn't take as long as I had expected for me to finish Mikhail's paperwork. Sonya had been feeling down for a few days, suffering from the effects of Spirit, and I had a feeling that had been affecting Mikhail's concentration at work. As a result, something that should have taken an hour had taken three.
I knew only too well how that felt, which was why I had offered to help. Though I knew Rose often felt frustrated that she could no longer take the darkness from Lissa, I was glad. When Lissa hadn't had to cope with the darkness, she'd been flippant about using magic and it had taken its toll on Rose. Now that she had stopped and Rose was free, both of them were safe. Rose was safe.
As I drew closer to the palace building, I watched as a petite redhead threw the door open and stalked off down the path running parallel to the building, barely sparing a glance in my direction. I sighed, realising I'd probably have to listen to Rose ranting about the latest fight with her mother. Those two had a singular ability to make the other angry. I'd long since learned that reminding Rose that the only reason they clashed was because they were so alike was not a good idea. Better just to let her rant and get it out of her system.
I nodded to the Guardian on duty on the stairwell as I headed for our apartment. After I opened the door I threw my keys in the glass bowl on the side, the noise momentarily distracting me from other sounds.
"My shift finished early," I called. "Rose, why was your..."
Turning the corner, my blood ran cold as I took in the sight before me. Rose's eyes were red-rimmed and tear drops clung to her cheeks. My chest constricted at her heartbroken expression. "Roza?" I asked as I hurried to her side. She lifted her arms slightly, reminding me of a child that wanted to be picked up. I responded immediately, pulling her into a tight embrace.
"Roza, are you alright?" I asked, needing to have that confirmed before anything else. She seemed fine physically, but you with Rose you could never be sure. She was so brave, so strong that she'd barely acknowledge her own pain, let alone allowing anyone else to see it. "Roza?"
She nodded against my chest, squeezing me a little tighter for a moment to let me know that she was okay. Now that I knew she was safe, I relaxed a little, running a hand over her hair.
"What happened, Roza?" I asked gently after a little while of just standing in silence. "Is it about your mother?"
Rose stiffened for a second before nodding again. In my mind, I cursed Janine for causing Roza this pain. What could she have said that was bad enough to get this reaction?
I shifted Rose in my arms so that I could pick her up, and carried her over the couch. Sitting down, I placed her in my lap and let her keep crying into my shirt. The move had caused her to try and get things together; now the shaking of her shoulders was irregular, as though she was trying to hold in her sobs. I rubbed her back soothingly, feeling her relax with each circle my hand made.
It wasn't long before she stopped crying altogether, a quiet sniffle signalling that it was safe to talk to her again.
"What happened?" I asked again. I felt Rose's fingers begin to play with the fabric at the back of my shirt, something she did when she was nervous or unsure of herself.
"She lied to me," she sniffed. "She said that she had to leave so that she didn't have to stay and hear about the wedding. She thinks that we're deluding ourselves and making this huge mistake which is going to end up ruining my life."
The words came out before I could stop them. "Do you think she's right?"
"What?" She sat up and leaned back, hands braced against my chest. "No, of course not! Why would you think that?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just that I knew you originally wanted to wait until you were at least 20 to get married, but I proposed anyway. I don't want you to feel rushed into anything you're not ready for..." Her expression clearly said shut up you idiot, so I trailed off and let her speak.
Rose rested a hand on my cheek, eyes meeting mine in that way that made it feel as though she was looking right into my soul. Thanks to her, there was still a soul to find.
"Dimitri, you're all I need. I stand by what I said before about not needing a marriage certificate to prove our love, but I realised that having one isn't the same as needing one. I'm spending the rest of my life with you whether you and the rest of the world likes it or not, so why not? Plus," she added with a grin, "I'd like to show people that I am actually capable of following law and convention, but marriage to you is the only legally binding contract I could actually put up with."
"So you're marrying me to prove a point?" I laughed.
"Yep. People always say that a marriage shouldn't be built on the basis of the groom having killer abs alone."
I kissed her, glad that she wasn't so upset anymore. There was still something, though, that self-depreciating edge to her jokes that told me she wasn't quite over her insecurities.
Breaking the kiss, I looked at her expectantly. I didn't want to push her to talk about why she was upset, but I would if I had to. Rose had spent so long bottling things up and it just wasn't good for her.
Thankfully, she relented. "I can't get anything past you, can I?"
I shook my head, smiling.
"Soul mates suck," she muttered as she shifted into a move comfortable position, leaning her head against my shoulder. She was silent for a moment as she contemplated what to say. "I'm just upset because I thought we were past all this. I know that we'll probably never see eye to eye, but I really thought that she'd be happy for me- for us. She knows what we've been through, and I just hoped she'd be supportive." I held her tighter. "After the initial 'are you sure?' when we got engaged, she seemed to get the whole thing."
"I'm so sorry, Roza." I said. "I wish that you could share this with your mother. I can't understand what she's thinking."
"Me neither. After all, she said that she wanted to get to know me better and be a part of my life, and what better way is there for a mother and daughter to bond than by talking about dresses and flowers? She obviously likes plants- well, that or she really hated me as a baby. Probably that one, actually, since she couldn't even spell 'rosemary' properly. Stupid name."
It seemed like she'd had enough of baring her feelings now, so I went with the subject change.
"So I guess that means that Rose-Marie is off the wedding playlist then?"
Rose looked horrified. "You play that song, and we won't be needing a honeymoon." She sounded so serious that I couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, sweet Rose Marie-" I began to sing, causing her to punch me in the arm. I broke off with a laugh and Rose rolled her eyes.
"I can't believe you actually know that song- and the words! You're such a dork."
"I thought you'd realised that a long time ago," I said with a smirk.
"I did; right around the time you quoted every single one of John Wayne's lines during 'he wore a star'.
I hadn't known that she had realised that.
"Did you really think that you could get away with talking all the way through the movie whilst I was practically lying on top of you?" she asked, amused.
I shrugged, a little self-conscious. "I figured that you'd tell me to shut up if I was loud enough to hear."
"I thought it was cute," she teased. "I'd rather listen to you than the actual movie anyway." Rose's stomach growling stopped me from making any further comment. "I don't suppose the fridge has magically stocked itself in the last 24 hours and we now have food for dinner?"
"I shouldn't think so." She pouted, and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss her briefly. "I think," I said against her lips, "that pizza is on order tonight."
She pulled back immediately, the smile that immediately lit up her face causing a warmth to spread outwards from my chest.
"Double cheese and pepperoni?" She asked hopefully.
I nodded. "Stuffed crust too?" It always seemed to be as though Rose was on a mission to see just how good her Dhampir metabolism was.
"Well duh!"
"Alright then," I patted her leg where it was draped over my own to get her to stand up, missing the contact when she did so. "You go and choose a movie, I'll call for pizza."
"You're the best, Comrade."
As Rose darted off to pick a film, it seemed as though she'd completely forgotten about the fight she'd had with her mother.
It was only by observing how she took a little longer than her usual six minutes to eat her pizza, how she picked Mulan - a film that only came out on bad days- and how she took just a little longer to fall asleep that night that I could see how she was still bothered by Janine's words.
I tucked the sheets closer around Rose's body, holding her tighter as though my arms would be enough to protect her from any of the sadness and pain she would have to face in her life. I'd sworn to spend the rest of my life trying to make her as happy as she made me, and that meant that tomorrow I had a job to do- a job that was almost as frightening as facing down a pack of Strigoi.
What's Dimitri got up his sleeve? What is Rose going to do? What is making Janine act like such a biatch? Find out next time ;P
Review and Dimitri will come and deliver a pizza of your choice!