Chapter Three

We flew to the same direction -

with different headings,

with different endings.

Endings that will never meet.

You are the wind

I longed in summer.

Hated in winter.

Hid from in rainy days.

Never once felt and

will never ever

blow my way.

Aesop. Every time he calls out his name, a sharp knife cuts right through my heart. I despised how Joseph only sees him. Or all the men before him and not me. What about Mary? What about me? When will he see me too? My heart longed for this to happen, as what lovers do, but not this way. Not when I loved him longer, loved him even more than he did! Not when his way of thinking is clouded by alcohol and fever. A terrible combination. Some would see this as an opportunity. I shouldn't.

I cannot be bound by this earthly desire, no matter how intoxicating his kisses are. Do not be weakened! But it's Joe! Joseph! My bestfriend! The one who treats me like his sister! The only man I have ever loved in my life! I needed to be the better person! Right? Until when? Don't I deserve some love at least once? Is it even love? How can you live with the thought of this one night, when you pretended to be someone else? Stop this while you can!

With all of my strength, I reversed our position to stop him from kissing me and who knows what else? Mary! Please contain yourself, but trying to control the situation, I only made it worse! Good job Mary! Now I am in the most awkward position of my life! A naked Joseph under me? I want to cry! You're a better person, I reminded myself.

We were both catching our breaths, then he shuts his eyes, "I feel cold."

I placed my hand on his forehead, he's definitely having a fever. I crawled on the other side of the bed. After gathering myself together, I looked for the first aid kit, took some towel and water in a basin. A new set of clothes, also from his belongings that I kept.

He was shaking when I returned to my room, "Aesop?"

I hushed him. No, I am not Aesop. I will never be him. I don't know how to start, I've seen it all moments ago, but I haven't looked at him closely. Should I close my eyes then? I think I'll be sick too! You can do this!

The rain hasn't subsided, as I look outside, I find the thunderstorm quite a calming experience. Maybe I could find courage in it too. I searched for his face under his long strands of hair, he has such a beautiful face. So angelic. So fragile. So regal. I wiped the face of a sleeping beauty! How could anyone stop loving such an amazing human being? Next, I cleaned his slender neck, then his muscular chest, and those abs? Cold sweat dropped on each side of my face, what am I doing? I quickly changed the water and towel then cleaned his back and every other parts before I could even collapse or make my nose bleed! This is killing me! This man doesn't know what he's soing to my whole being even when he's just lying there!

I fully clothed him, checked his temperature and covered him a blanket. He was shaking a little, still calling his name. Whatever happened to that man!? Whatever happened to his promises of loving Joseph forever?!

I headed outside to breathe some fresh air, after cleaning up the apartment, I lost my appetite and freshened up to sleep. I switched off the lights, kept the bedside table lamp on, quietly joined Joe under the covers. This is enough, for now.