Hello everyone! I'd like to take a moment to realise that my Word document has now reached the 300 page mark. This fanfic is really too long! But meh, who cares?
One of the reviewers suggested Kaya Scodelario as Emma... it's perfect! Type the name into google if you want, she's one of the actresses in Skins.
I'm sorry about this chapter, it's not as good as I wanted it to be and it was hard to get done. So instead, I tried to make it up to you by posting a day early!
malecftw, Blue Luver5000, thechosenbibliophile, Threstrals101, creelluka, Clove1113, lizy2000, Ash-Caro-Lynn and sarahmichellegellarfan1, thank you all so much for reviewing!
And thank you Ash-Caro-Lynn for being my beta! Chapter 1 and 2 are up and reviewed, but nothing major has changed (so if you're up to here already, there's no point in turning back).
Enjoy!
P.S. Does anyone know what genres this should be in? I keep on changing my mind...
P.P.S. : Sorry Sunny! I realised that I hadn't mentioned you! I'm so glad you liked how the characters have grown up and how you get really into the story! I absolutely love it when people talk about their favourite parts. I have to admit, I really do have a soft spot for Rabastan... He'll have to feature in this story more often! Anyway, he's working with Emma in the D.E now! You know you're right about the actress, I'm going to stick that up at the top of the A.N.
Emma's heart was beating faster than it ever had when Regulus gave his brother's name at the front desk. Of course, it would be teeming whilst she was under the Invisibility Cloak. No one wanted to run into an imaginary wall, so she made sure to step out of everyone's way – who knew hospitals could be so busy? The last time she came, it seemed like it was almost empty.
Back then, she had been nothing but relieved at hearing about her mother's recovery. Now, she knew exactly what was on the line. Not only was she risking James and Sirius finding out that Regulus had come to visit her dad under his brother's name – and alerting them to the fact that all was not well – but also Regulus finding out just why her mother had died. She didn't think she could handle him discovering the truth, not when she was the only person in his life that hadn't betrayed him about his family situation. What would he say – he, who would sacrifice everything for his family – if Charles told him it was Emma who had killed her mother?
She had no doubt as to what caused the stress that had ended Natalie Potter's life. She could only hope that he wouldn't believe what her father told him, but deep down she knew that she couldn't lie. Not about something like this. Besides, she had protected her pride once before by lying to him, and she wouldn't do it again. Not when she saw his betrayed expression upon thinking that she really had slept with Sirius.
He's moving, she realised with a jolt. She hurried down the corridor after him. She had never been more thankful for Regulus's acting abilities. From where she was standing, he seemed cool and collected, his posture betraying the slightest hint of worry necessary to better sell his role. He walked nonchalantly, imitating his brother's gait with ease. She just hoped that she wasn't asking too much of him.
'Take a seat, Mr Black,' the Healer said, reaching over his desk to shake Regulus's hand. 'My name is Henry James, I'm the Healer assigned to the Potter family.'
'Trust me, I'm only a Black in name now,' Regulus reassured him, trying to imitate his brother's scorn for his family.
His insides twisted unpleasantly, reminding him of his brother's betrayal once more. He refrained from glancing backwards, not only would that arouse suspicion, but he wouldn't even be able to see Emma. He hoped she had managed to get through the door before it closed.
Instead of leading him to Charles Potter's quarantined room, he had been directed to the Healer's study – a small room off the waiting room corridor on the first floor. He wondered why it wasn't on the second, where Charles was being kept, but then realised he had more important issues to worry about.
. Merlin let me get through this, he prayed inwardly, hoping that James wouldn't get back early from Romania and foil the plan. That was the problem – there wasn't a plan. There was just Emma, springing this up on him, expecting him to solve everything by imitating his brother. Regulus preferred to plan out every outcome beforehand, maybe even brewing a Polyjuice Potion. Of course, there hadn't been time for that, and he hadn't been able to refuse the desperate look in her eyes.
After all, his own relationship with his family had only improved after having acquired the Dark Mark at such a young age. He only wished that his mother hadn't been quite so perceptive... or not perceptive enough. He had no idea why she made those little comments about marrying Emma – it only made things worse. He had made his peace with is silence, though Rabastan was against it. He was her best friend, the person she trusted most in the world, and he wouldn't throw that away for something so trivial as unrequited love. Besides, at least that kind of thing wouldn't be on her mind for a while, after what happened with her mother. He hated himself for rejoicing in being so close to her, even as she cried her eyes out over this most recent tragedy.
'Are you quite alright, Mr Black?' the Healer was saying.
'Excuse me,' Regulus gave him a slight smile. 'My thoughts were elsewhere.'
Then he realised he was being Regulus, not Sirius Black. It was easy to predict his brother's actions – the opposite of his own.
'Look, can I go to see him or not?' he asked aggressively, radically changing his behaviour.
The Healer seemed slightly taken aback, but then relaxed. Relatives could be unpredictable in trying times, and this boy had already lost his mother – in every sense of the word but the traditional one. Even Henry James had heard of the Black fiasco, even if it was only because he had read his patient's file.
'I'm sorry, but we're not taking any chances for Charles,' he said gently. 'Natalie was very disturbed after a visit from her family, and we want Charles to recover in a safer environment.'
Regulus got up and started pacing, running a hand through his messy hair. 'So there's nothing I can do? Can I write to him, at least?'
Henry James shook his head. 'I can tell you this – Charles is on the way to making a safe recovery. I estimate him being released within a month. The Potters seem to be very resilient,' he laughed. 'Most older patients can't hold on past the critical stage. But Charles – like Natalie – seems to have bypassed the most dangerous part of the disease. That's why – more than ever – we need to keep him out of any family feuds.'
'Any what?' Regulus stopped pacing, coming to a stand before the Healer's desk. His shock wasn't fake this time.
Henry James stood up, making his way to the door. 'Mr Black, your dispute with your surrogate sister is legendary, even in the hospital. I suggest you take this up with her. Here,' he scribbled on a piece of paper, 'this is the name of a good counsellor. If I see that you two are back on good terms, then I'll let you and the two Potters in to see Charles.'
'Fine,' Regulus almost spat. He stopped for a minute at the door, visibly calming down, whilst actually giving Emma enough time to leave the room. 'I'm sorry, this is pretty stressful for me at the moment. Do... do you mind not telling James if he comes? I don't want to see him even more upset at the idea that it was because of Emma and me that he can't see his dad...'
And Regulus conjured the guiltiest puppy dog expression that he had ever seen Sirius use, determined to play the ruse to the end.
'Of course, Mr Black. I wish you well,' the Healer looked at him pityingly for a moment, before shutting the door.
'I told you,' Emma said, looking away. 'I don't know what you mean. The fact that Sirius and I hate each other isn't exactly news.'
They were in an unused waiting room and Emma's Cloak was bunched up in Regulus's hand. Emma should have guessed that he would be mad at having not been told the entire truth. Luckily, Healer James hadn't given everything away... he must have read her mother's file too. You should count yourself lucky he still played along to the end, she thought guiltily.
'What didn't you tell me about your visit with your parents? I had wondered why you hadn't pushed harder to visit your father when you found out he had the same illness. What happened? It wasn't just your mother's death, was it?' The words came tumbling out of Regulus's mouth.
He stopped for breath, but his eyes were still staring into Emma's, as though the gift of Legilimency would be granted to him if only he concentrated hard enough. Emma felt both afraid to look away and afraid to hold his gaze. His irises had become chips of hard flint, and inwardly she was panicking. He's going to find out, she thought. He's going to find out and he's going to hate me. Or worse, he's going to just ignore me, like he did when I accidentally hurt Kreacher.
'Well?' Regulus demanded when his words were met with silence. 'Is this really how you repay me for helping you?'
Emma cast for an excuse, a way to tell him part of the truth, but not the whole of it. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Just then, the door opened. Emma's mouth fell open.
'James?' her voice cracked.
Her brother had just walked in, cool as a cucumber. He was stockier than she remembered, though she supposed that dragon training would do that to someone. He looked less tanned than a summer in Romania should have left him, but then again, their skin was the burn-white-never-tan kind. For a split second, Emma thought James looked panicked as she studied him, but then his old grin spread across his face. Her appraisal was cut short by the enormous bear hug he pulled her into.
'Thank Merlin you weren't eaten by a Snizzling Snoutback,' she almost sobbed.
'Emma!' he pulled away, holding her at arm's length. She noticed a few small scars across his face. They were new. 'What are you doing here in the Burns section? Last I looked, it wasn't you fighting dragons.'
'Well, I...' she stammered, before white-hot pain shot across her right forearm. She reigned in her hiss of pain before continuing. 'I tried my hand at cooking,' she let an embarrassed smile make its way onto her face. 'Needless to say, I don't get along very well with ovens.'
She pulled up her sleeve before James could notice the tear and showed him the crescent of raised white flesh on the inside of her arm. Thank you Regulus, she thought, even as she took the hint that he was still mad. The modified Stinging Hex hurt like hell.
'Oh,' he let out a sigh which sounded more like relief than worry. 'Same old Ems.'
Emma frowned, but brushed it off. You can't even recognise your brother's reactions, you've grown so distant, she thought sadly. Then she remembered who James was probably staying with.
'Anyway, I see your burn and raise you one,' he replied, unwrapping the bandage for her to see.
Emma gasped, and James's grin grew wider. 'That's the reaction I was hoping to get.'
James's upper forearm was a mess, skin tearing off in some places, oozing in others. The burned flesh was obviously healing, but slowly, and it was clear that the scarring would be horrific.
'What was that?' she asked.
'Hungarian Horntail,' James answered proudly. 'The wound reopened, that's why I'm in St Mungo's early. I would love for us to sit and talk, but I think the hospital would probably take a long time to check this out. I was sent home to get better medical attention – over there, it's mostly Muggle stuff for now. Sirius should be bringing me some of my stuff soon.'
Emma opened her mouth, to ask him anything – everything – before she heard a cough from behind her. Right... she thought, happy mood fading almost as soon as it began.
'Listen, we should probably go before Sirius gets here,' she said reluctantly. James's face fell. 'James, you know what a recipe for disaster it would be if we saw each other. Especially Regulus and Sirius.'
She hated using Regulus to get out, especially after the huge favour he had just done her, but it wasn't to be helped. Glancing over to him, his cold demeanour suggested that he was not impressed.
'I guess I'll see you on the train then,' James smiled gently, before hugging her again.
She hoped that it the promise in his voice wasn't a result of wishful thinking.
'Are you going to explain?' Regulus asked.
He had waited until they had Flooed back to the apartment. Emma supposed that she was kidding herself if she had thought he would forget about it during the journey. Even after all he had done for her, she was only listening with half an ear. James was back and mostly safe, mostly whole. He had seemed a great deal better than when she saw him last, from the short time that she had seen him. Another thing that Sirius has stolen away from me, she thought viciously. Her reunion with her brother had been cut short and only served to remind her just how much she missed him.
'Don't make me ask a second time,' her best friend warned.
She should. She knew she should, but just imagining her best friend's face when she told him that she was the cause of her own mother's death stopped her in her tracks. So instead, Emma turned to face the window.
'No,' she replied, hating herself as she did so. 'I don't have time for this conversation.'
This wouldn't have happened to Regulus. He would have thought to conceal his mark. If she couldn't hide the Dark Mark from her father – who she knew was a staunch opponent to their crusade – then what was she even doing with the Death Eaters? It was stupid and it was risky. If he hadn't been contaminated... That's your fault too, she reminded herself. If Charles hadn't been worried for her mother, he would never had made contact, never have contracted the disease. Maybe he was right when he said Sirius would be a better son than I a daughter.
'Nothing to do...' Regulus seemed at a loss for words. She could still feel the resentment simmering beneath the surface. 'You're unbelievable. I didn't have to help, you know. You can't call me when it's convenient for you and then keep me out of the loop. If it weren't for me, you'd still be explaining yourself to James now.'
'Thanks for casting that modified Stinging Hex,' she said, lifting her sleeve up to check the angry welt.
'Believe me, it was my pleasure,' he replied sarcastically.
The beginnings of a Slytherin sneer were upon his face. Emma knew that he was going to shut himself off soon, which was exactly what she wanted. Already, she had managed to get a rise out of him – something rare. However, he surprised her.
He walked up to her, staring at her until she turned to look at him. 'What is it Emma? What is so bad that you can't even tell me about it? What did Sirius do? Are you protecting him?'
'Not likely,' Emma snorted. She was protecting herself. 'It's just... It's nothing to do with Sirius, not really. I... I got into a bit of a fight with my dad when I went to visit my mum, that's all.'
She had already said too much. Regulus had ferreted out a secret with less information than this before. A lump had formed in her throat by now. 'Look, Regulus, I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I'll find a way to repay you.'
Regulus didn't move an inch. She turned her head, back to watching the street below, trying to appear as cold as she could at Hogwarts.
'You know that you can tell me anything Emma,' he tried again.
'Well, maybe I don't want to tell you,' she retorted, knowing that it would hurt him, but not caring. She finally turned towards him, eyes hard, thinking of nothing but the situation they had put themselves in. 'We've got more pressing problems, Regulus. What if Healer James spots Sirius and realises that you were an imposter? What if he changes his mind and tells James and my brother confronts yours?'
Regulus looked at her for a long while and for a second, Emma thought that he would insist further. She set her jaw and concentrated on the welt she knew would leave a scar, willing her cheeks not to colour in shame.
She knew what she would say if she was in that situation. That's your problem then, and maybe curse him for good measure. Though Regulus had already got the curse out of the way. But Regulus wasn't her. She ignored him until she heard him move away, only daring to look up when she heard the Floo being activated.
He didn't return.