Never before has she heard and felt silence such as this. Such emptiness and sorrow which she has felt before, but never like this. In war there is always loss, she learned this hard lesson at a very young age, too young perhaps. By all accounts, the war is over, but no one has won, Republic or Separatist, right now amongst the stars above thousands of worlds are learning of the betrayal committed by the Jedi and wondering what the future will hold in regards to this new Empire. Ahsoka felt deep within her heart that it couldn't be true about the Jedi, or perhaps her hope is misplaced. They can't all be gone, not all of them. Some must have been clever enough to escape such a fate, gone into hiding from their loyal troops, and have managed to find some form of safety. Their futures are now more unknow than ever before, the Jedi will be hunted by this new Empire until none remain. The Jedi Order had prepared its disciples for many challenges that any one of them will face, but survival of this importance and scale has never been considered, never thought of, or worried about, perhaps another sign of arrogance of the Jedi.
Ahsoka and Rex had buried as many as could be found. They both believe these good men more than deserve such kindness, the very last act of kindness that they would ever receive. She gazes upon their graves; their helmets mark each burial like a headstone. For a few moments, Ahsoka could feel the turmoil in each of them, the conflict and resistance, and ultimately the giving in. It's not their faults, she knows this and she will not see it any other way, though others will not, there will be those who will never learn what she has and with that, she isn't sure what to feel.
Her eyes close again, reaching out with all her might to sense him, even for a moment, just a moment, that's all she hopes for. "Master." She speaks softly to herself, calling upon her dear teacher once more, but he isn't there, not dead, just simply no longer present. How can that be? She had felt his pain and turmoil only moments before Rex had turned on her, she would have sensed his passing if it had occurred, but now there is nothing, only that same silence, and emptiness that she feels within.
Gazing at her saber so many thoughts and feelings return to her. When she had undergone the gathering to find the heart of her saber as a child, when she built the weapon and ignited it for the first time, she remembered how proud she had been to carry the title of a Jedi. She recalls every trial and tribulation she endured with the tool by her side and she remembered letting it go. But most importantly she remembered how much it meant to her when Anakin presented the saber back to her. He took it upon himself to keep them safe for her despite her absence, her smile told him how much it meant to her.
She looks upon the saber again, taking the time to really feel the weight of it as well as it's meaning or rather how meaningless it is now.
A lightsaber is a Jedi's life and yet what does a Jedi do when such a lifeline puts one's self in danger in times like these? Another flaw to the Jedi's lessons Ahsoka thinks. This lifeline in her hand, despite the good it has done, despite her connection to it despite it all is no longer needed, no longer considered the tool of a peacekeeper, but instead the weapon of a traitor, the tool of a now-dead religion.
She breathes deeply, her mind clear and ready before letting go for the very last time of what she had once been so certain about. The saber falls from her steady hand to her feet. The tool of a now-dead religion and a "dead" Jedi to accompany it.
Ahsoka is pulled away from her fear and doubts when the familiar hum of a ship comes from overhead, she turns to Rex who has taken notice of the ship as well. She gives a soft smile when recognizing the ship and her heart flutters knowing who is on it. Her message to them had gotten through. The vintage look of the XS stock light freighter appears to amaze Rex as well just as Ashoka had been when she first laid eyes upon it when it lands near to his craft. Compressors and valves hiss when the boarding ramp of the frigid descends and a familiar face emerges from the ramp. His brown hair blew in the wind as he gazes out to the destruction before him, he stumbles back for a moment in complete disbelief of it all. Ahsoka steadily walks back to the ship where Rex has his basters ready to be drawn if the situation calls for it, but his commander reassures him of the crew and their intentions for she had contacted the Pulser crew to come and retrieve her. They were the only people that she can now trust.
The pilot of the craft freezes when meeting Ahsoka's eyes. She can feel his fear and disbelief from learning all that he has about the Jedi and the fall of the war. But he still races to her his hands firmly gripping her shoulders and asking if she's alright and what had happened. Guilt overcame Ahsoka for realizing that she has put the crew of the Pulser in danger with her presence, but what else can she do?
Soon the remainder of the crew joins outside following in the disbelief of what their captain saw. Despite their talk about it and bringing to light the dangers of a Clone and Jedi traveling together in these dark times Ashoka could see on his face, could feel his hesitation, guilt, and uncertainty for their separation. "Rex, it's alright." Reassuring his doubts is what he needs right now. "I'm going to be alright. We both are."
His head hung. "I don't want to leave you alone."
"I won't be alone." She motions to Reese and the others, her senses becoming warm and safe. "They're good people Rex. I trust them." Her stance and confidence on the matter appear to sway some of Rex's worries, and ultimately gave Rex the ease of knowing that his friend is in good hands. She hugs him so tightly, making up for the goodbye that she had never given him the first time she left. Who knew when they would see one another again or if they ever would. "We'll see each other again." She whispers still hopeful as ever. "I know it." The smile that appears on Rex's face when she says this tells her that he feels the same. "Be safe."
"You too, Commander." She holds onto the warmth of that name and the way her dear friend says it for as long as she can even when he pulls away and enters his fighter. Ahsoka and the Pulser crew watch as the Captain's ship ascends into the atmosphere and out of sight, setting off to who knows where, but Ahsoka knew that Rex has a plan in mind.
The moment is left quiet again amongst the chaos and darkness. Ahsoka takes a breath to calm herself her heart fluttering when Reese stands next to her. "You ready?" He asks softly. She has been asking herself that same question since the crew's arrival here. What is she ready for, does she feel ready at all? Looking out to the grave markers once more and this time ready to say goodbye Ahsoka nods her head and follows Reese and the others up the ramp and into the ship. Ahsoka felt a warm familiarity when entering the Pulser again including the familiar chirps of the astomech droid R9-E9 who came to great her once she entered the cockpit of the ship with Reese.
"Hello, Ninee." Ahsoka beams.
"She's happy to see you." Reese says as Ahsoka knelt before the droid to accept her greetings.
Ahsoka chuckles, patting the little droids head. "Guess she missed me."
"She's not the only one." Reese admits confidently. Ahsoka and Reese's locked gaze doesn't leave one another even when Ahsoka ascends back to his feet. She sees him so clearly, the same caring nature is written all over his face. His deep green eyes looking right through her. His eyes darted away for only a moment, his finger brushing against the aurebesh sentence tattoo across the bridge of his nose. "We...I…The crew and I all missed you."
"I've missed you all too." Her eyes turn sad once again feeling the weight of everything that has happened and everything that soon will come to pass.
"Hey," Reese spoke comforting to her as he pulls her into a one-arm embrace as to not overwhelm her. "it's gonna be ok." She appreciates his optimism so much, she fears shattering all of that with what she will eventually share with him and the others, but that's a discussion for later when the fear and the darkness and silence take a moment to pass.
"So," Ahsoka speaks up as she takes a seat in the copilot seat next to Reese. "where are we going?" This had been the question racing through her mind the moment the ship had landed. Where in the galaxy could they go that would be safe? Did Reese have any idea himself?
Reese flips on the nav computer of the console, double-checking the coordinates while Ninee locks them in. "With everything that's going on and everything we don't know, we've decided it'd be best for us to head back home for the time being. We want to make sure our families are safe and I'm worried about my parents."
Ahsoka's brow wrinkles trying to remember if Reese or the other have ever mentioned where their home truly is amongst the stars. "Where is home?" A warm smile appears on Reese's lips when asked this question, looking at Ahsoka with that same smile while the ship enters hyperspace and they race off towards home.
(I'll be writing a story of Ahsoka's time in hiding with the Pulser crew later on.)