Hello! I haven't forgotten about this! It is crossposted on ao3 under the same name and it's got a series for it! Just find me under wr0ngsideofreality (slothlover42 either one works i think) and it's there! So, i just kind of forgot to post on here, but this means the few of you reading this (i think there's like 3 of you? hi!) will get updates every day until this one is caught up with the one on ao3!
Also, yes! brookeyy14 my friend yes! daily updates! however, I've got about 20 chapters for this bad boy written, so if you want, I can do double updates. I just feel bad for forgetting to post here so! If you'd like double updates, please let me know!
Edit: 5/17/2020 dialogue tags fixed.
Life at the home of Beru and Owen Lars continued as if the news of Stormtroopers being sent to Tatooine was small business, and not like it could be the end of the couple's lives and the end of Ben's sudden burst of safety.
Ben kept about his ways. He helped Owen with the Vaporator's and watched Luke when he was needed. He helped Beru with the food and kept building Luke's shields when he could.
It was an odd change the routine he had kept at his own dwelling, but one thing that didn't change for Ben was his desire to contact his former Master.
No, Ben hadn't finally cracked. Master Yoda had taught him what he needed to do, and Ben had eagerly begun listening to the old Master. The thought of being able to contact his former Master had Ben's insides twisted up in knots. Though, he did feel excitement as well as dread. He couldn't help but think what Qui-Gon would say to him. What would he think of all that had happened? Did he even know what had been going on?
He didn't know if he wanted the answer to any of those questions, but he pressed on. Every night, before he went to bed, Ben knelt next to the couch. With his legs tucked up underneath him, he rested his hands lightly on his thighs and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply, pulling the Force to him and wrapping himself in its warmth.
And every night, without fail, he would call for his Master, and nothing would happen.
He knew better than to be frustrated with the results (or rather lack of results) as he recalled Master Yoda telling him that it was not an easy feat and that practice would be important.
Ben was a patient man. He had to be; He raised Anakin, didn't he? The question draws a laugh out of him before he swallows down tears that still rose at the thought of his former Padawan and brother.
He had yet to tell Owen and Beru everything that had transpired on Mustafar that dreaded day. He had told them enough. They knew that Anakin was the Sith known as Darth Vader, but they hadn't quite known how it had happened. Ben didn't want to think about what Owen would so to him when he found out. They were step-brothers. They were family. What would Owen think when Ben told him what he did?
"He would throw me out for sure." Ben chuckles to himself in that sad way that he did. He had chuckled it to himself in the midst of his nightly meditation.
He wasn't expecting a response to the statement, so when he received one, he nearly cried out in slight fear (though he would never admit it was fear for he knew fear was the path to the dark side).
"I don't think he would through you out Padawan." The deep voice clouded his mind and Ben forced his eyes open. His ever-changing eyes filled with tears as he looked up at the softly glowing blue figure of his former Master.
"Qui-Gon." The name that barely touched his lips was breathed out in a shaky whisper. Ben lifts a hand to his mouth, covering it in the hopes that his soft cries wouldn't be heard by the other occupants of the home. Qui-Gon Jinn gave his former Padawan a sad smile.
"Oh little one, the years have not been kind to you, have they?" The voice that he hadn't heard in so long calmed his senses.
Ben thought about that voice nearly every night after his Master had returned to the Force.
That voice had been the source of his comfort. His Master's voice would be what chased away the after images of nightmares and visions he had suffered. It was there to offer stern warnings and praises. It soothed the tears of his soul and body.
"Is it that obvious?" Ben asks, letting out a watery laugh to accompany the question. Ben's eyes are wrenched closed as tears fall down his cheeks. A warmth on one of his cheeks prompts the copper-haired man to open his eyes. Qui-Gon is kneeling right in front of him with a hand resting against Ben's cheek. Ben leans into it, a reflex buried deep in his subconscious suddenly bursting forth once more.
"You have been through much."
Ben almost laughs at the statement.
"I'm only sorry I could not have been there for you." Qui-Gon sighs and Ben watches as his eyes close. "Infinite sadness indeed little one."
Ben's breathing hitches.
"How did you-" The conversation that had passed between Ben and Anakin long ago flew into his mind once more.
"You would forgo your destiny for Padme?" Obi-Wan watched Anakin's brows as they beetled in anger.
"I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn't believe it anymore, so why should you?"
"Because I think you believe it," Obi-Wan said calmly. "I think you know in your heart that you're meant for something extraordinary."
"And you, Master? What does your heart tell you you're meant for?"
"Infinite sadness," Obi-Wan said, even while smiling.
"I may not have been there in body, Obi-Wan,"
The man flinched at the sound of his own name.
"But I was always there in spirit." Qui-Gon informed him.
Ben blinked rapidly as he tried to quell the tears. He sniffled lightly and pressed himself closer to the warmth of Qui-Gon.
"May I ask you a question?"
Qui-Gon snorts and the faint brush of his robes caress Ben's face. "You know you don't have to ask."
Yes, Ben does know this, but asking first was ingrained in him at a young age. Seeing his former Master again has brought back things he thought were long buried.
"Why did you do it?" Ben pauses before continuing. "Why did you ask that I take Anakin as my Padawan? I wasn't ready. I had just lost you, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I fought against Master Yoda's wishes. I fought for the child. Why did you make me promise you?" The tears fall faster now, but Ben doesn't find himself caring as the droplets fall to the floor beneath him.
"Oh, my dear one." Qui-Gon begins, brushing a hand through Ben's hair. "I'm sorry for what I demanded of you. I never thought it would end up as it did. I only knew you were what was best for him. You had become a far greater Jedi than I had ever hoped to be, and I knew you would be able to teach him."
Ben shudders against the ghostly figure as a hand tightens on his neck in comfort.
"I never told you how proud I was of you. That is what I regret the most. My final words should not have been what they were. You were my Padawan and I pushed you aside without a thought."
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry for the pain and sadness this has caused you."
A hand under Ben's bearded chin lifts his head. Qui-Gon's eyes meet his own watery ones. "Know this, little one," Qui-Gon bends down and the ghostly feel of lips brush against his hair, then move to his forehead. "You are not alone. Not anymore."
His life would only get harder. Ben knew this for a fact. The soft promise brushed against his forehead rang true though. He was not alone. He would never be alone again.
His exhausted body tumbled into sleep with the warm body of his Master around him and that promise in his mind. It was the most restful sleep he'd had in years.