Hello everyone! Hope you aren't getting bored with the story, over 70 chapters is a LOT of reading!

Thanks to Irindiglo. Senyuu. lizyeh2000, Cae-Leigh Anne, 19irene96 and One Smart Waffle as usual for reading! Reviews are the best!

I'll hopefully post next week, but I'll probably miss a couple of weeks over Christmas (and I'm sure you'll all be busy too!)

Enjoy!

'What took you so long?' Rabastan asked, obviously frazzled.

He had been pacing up and down the street, the tips of his dark brown hair still dripping. His jaw was still clenched, and his eyes kept darting around, assessing the situation. Emma took a quick look up and down the street, before grabbing his arm and hurrying into the alleyway to her apartment.

'Sorry, it was a nightmare getting the mud out of my hair,' she said. 'We have to get to yours', the others should be back by now.'

Rabastan had offered his house up to the Slytherin seventh years so as to provide an alibi in case anyone was caught and confessed. Unfortunately, that included Mulciber, Wilkes and Severus too, but that wasn't to be helped. Lucinda had offered to organise it, inviting several fifth and sixth years that could be trusted to lie and that had clearly told their parents where they were going. It wasn't much, but it might just be enough.

However, if they turned up smelling like river water - or looking too clean - their fellow Death Eaters might have some questions for them. Emma quickly performed a Scouring charm on them, before grabbing a handful of dust and sprinkling it over them both. At the same time, Rabastan used a heating charm to dry their clothes. Using magic other than Apparition at an unknown site would have been suspicious.

'Do you know how to make a Portkey?' Emma asked.

Rabastan raised his eyebrows.

'Yeah, stupid question,' she muttered. 'Right, we'll just have to Apparate, and say that Moody was hot on your tail. It was true about twenty minutes ago.'

'And he's probably duelled with five other Death Eaters since then!' Rabastan exclaimed, his eyes going wide.

'Relax, Bast! It's not as if anyone's going to question us about where we were at the end of the battle. They didn't last time, did they?' Emma asked.

Rabastan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes. He nodded, and Emma noticed that the glint had gone from his eyes when he looked at her.

'Let's do this now then, before I lose my nerve,' he said.

A crack resounded through the alleyway, empty once more.

'You made it back in one piece!' Lucinda cried, but the joke was lost through her worried tone. Glancing around the area, she made sure the gate's hinges squeaked to hide her next words. 'Regulus and Wilkes got back a while ago, Snape just arrived. Barty's been telling people you two were stopping off at Emma's to get more Firewhisky, so we don't seem all that obvious. You never know who will snap at the first chance the Aurors get to them.'

'Thanks, Lucy,' Emma said sincerely, hugging her friend. 'I mean it.'

'Yeah, I appreciate you doing all of this,' Rabastan added, unsure as how to greet her. He ran a hand through his wavy hair, trying to untangle it. 'So…so did you find everything alright?'

'Come here, stupid,' Lucinda laughed, pulling Rabastan into her arms. 'It was weird being here without you guys, but it's not like I've never been here before.'

Rabastan smiled, laying his cheek against Lucinda's perfectly styled hair. A small sigh escaped him, his muscles relaxing. Emma caught his eye and smirked. He lazily rolled his eyes and winked in return.

Once back inside, Emma surreptitiously slipped into the kitchen to duplicate the remaining two bottles of Firewhisky and crate of Butterbeer. Judging by the number of empty bottles, the party goers would be too inebriated to notice anyway. Taking a bottle of Butterbeer to go, she wandered through to the ball room slash party room to survey the situation.

It looked like a normal party, just like the ones they had just a year ago, when things weren't so messed up. Her heart stopped pumping so loudly when she realised that no one really cared about the seventh years being there or not. Cassandra tipped her head in greetings from her circle of friends on the sofa, but other than that it seemed to just be posturing and bragging about being at a seventh year's party. Unsurprisingly, Barty Crouch was deep in a chess tournament with a fourth year that Emma barely recognised.

Roaming the house, she discovered Rabastan and Lucinda reclining on the staircase, chatting quietly. She smiled - today wasn't all bad, after all - but just as she was backing down the hallway to give them some privacy, Lucinda spotted her and waved her over.

'Hey,' she said. 'How's it going? Rabastan was just telling me about tonight.'

Emma looked over to Rabastan, who gave a subtle shake of his head. So he hadn't told her about the escapade with the Muggles then.

'Yeah, it was brutal,' Emma settled for a generic reply. 'I thought you didn't want anything to do with this?'

'Yeah, well, my best friends are all a part of it, so whether I like it or not, this war will affect me,' Lucinda pursed her lips and took a swig of Butterbeer, shaking her head. 'I prefer to at least know about it so I can know what to expect.'

Emma made a non-committal sound. There wasn't really an appropriate response to that. Lucinda had a point, even if Emma would prefer her to be able to claim plausible deniability in the years to come. Hogwarts wouldn't protect them forever.

'Regulus is in the library, if you were looking for him,' Rabastan said.

Emma took the hint. 'Right, thanks. Tell me if the others get back. Even if Wilkes is creepy, it'd still be nice to hear even he got out okay.'

'Will do,' Lucinda replied.

She moved to the side to let Emma pass. She noticed that instead of moving towards the wall as was usually done, the blonde moved closer to Rabastan. Emma gave him a thumbs up over Lucinda's head and was met with yet another eye roll.

The upstairs part of Rabastan's house was largely silent. People either hadn't dared pair off in Rabastan's house without him knowing, or it was too early in the evening for anyone to be truly tired. What happened last time? Emma asked herself, before remembering that the last party she attended at Rabastan's was for New Year in sixth year. Yeah, better not avoid that trip down memory lane. Avery, ergh.

She couldn't find Regulus in any of the bedrooms, or even the bathrooms - the doors were open - and by the time she reached the library on the third floor, she was beginning to wonder if Lucinda hadn't sent her on a wild goose chase. But sure enough, there he was at the desk, nose deep inside some kind of history book even though it was probably past midnight.

'Hey,' she said softly, approaching her boyfriend.

He jumped, sending parchment flying and closing his book with a snap. His head snapped around to look at her, only relaxing when he realised who it was. He let out a sigh, bending down to pick up the papers.

'Emma,' he greeted her.

She frowned, leaning against the wall.

'Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for,' she admitted, looking down. The flutter of disappointment flared in her chest.

'It's not that,' Regulus started, before glancing at his papers. His voice died in his throat as he shoved them and the book in his bag.

Did he have a bag when we went on the raid? Emma wondered, thinking it odd for him to have brought books to a Muggle village. Then again, it was Regulus, always prepared for everything. He distracted her from her thoughts, taking her hands in his, threading his fingers through hers.

'So how did it go on your end? I met up with Alecto at one point, she said it was intense.'

Emma stayed silent for a moment, wondering how to tell him. She wanted to, oddly. They had gone past their silent suffering through their Hogwarts years and she had finally realised that it was far better to tell him things than hide them and let them both suffer. The problem was the how. The Dark Lord didn't take defection lightly, and did she even want to defect in the first place?

Of course, there was no denying that he had become more and more anti-Muggle and anti-Muggleborn, but was that simply in order to gain the power he needed to make a change? Were the burning villages the price to pay for a better world order? After all, she tried to reason with herself, it's not as if the Dark Lord could have expected some Muggles to be left over. Bellatrix is a good lieutenant, but maybe she's just been given too much free reign for now.

Trying to buy herself some time before she told him about it, she asked him what he was researching so late at night, gesturing to the desk. Regulus turned to look behind him, letting go of her hand to rub the back of his head sheepishly.

'Oh that,' he said dismissively. 'Um... nothing really. History of Magic stuff. It would bore you.'

Emma's heart fell to her stomach. So it was a one-sided feeling. Obviously, Regulus didn't trust her enough. Whatever he was doing after a raid at one in the morning, Emma was sure it didn't involve homework.

'Right,' she said, trying to brush it off. 'Well, yeah, it was a bit intense, but nothing more than the usual. It's just that we have Order members on our tail now, as well as the best Aurors. Barty's dad might have changed departments last year, but it's still got Crouch written all over it. Rabastan got blown into a wall.'

As she described the superficial details of her side of the conflict, leaving out the whole part about the Muggles, Regulus in turn told her not much more than what she knew already – that the Aurors were getting harder and harder to surprise.

After a few more minutes of awkward chatting, Emma couldn't stand looking at Regulus and knowing that he was keeping secrets from her. She had always been the one he told things, even if it was just to say that he didn't want to talk about it. He had never outright lied to her before.

Along with the sinking feeling of disappointment, the guilt that had been assuaged by getting the Muggles to a hospital on the outskirts of London was starting to return. She suddenly couldn't be bothered with the pretence and niceties. If Regulus had nothing to say to her, then she would better occupy her time.

'Speaking of Crouch, I need to go and find Barty,' she said, extricating herself from the situation.

'Oh, I'll come with you,' Regulus offered.

'No,' Emma held her hands out to stop him. She glanced over to his rucksack. 'I'll let you finish up with your... homework.'

Regulus looked at her, realising that she didn't buy the lie. He sighed, his hand going back to his head in frustration.

'Emma,' he started in a conciliatory tone. 'It's not – Look, you don't know – It's not that I don't trust you...'

His excuses died in his throat and he simply shrugged, raising his arms in defeat. Evidently, he didn't want to talk about it, even though he clearly understood that she didn't believe him. If anything, it made Emma more annoyed.

He can't even make up a good reason, she thought vehemently, closing the door with more force than necessary on her way out. The small click behind her told her that her boyfriend was following, but she didn't slow her pace on her march down the stairs. It was only when she reached the landing of the first floor that she held an arm out, stopping Regulus in his tracks and effectively stopping his calls for her to stop.

'What –'

Emma shushed him in an aggravated tone, shooting him a dark look. He pursed his lips, but his retort was lost as he took in the scene in front of them, unconsciously lowering himself to a crouching position so as to make himself more inconspicuous. Emma peered around the wall curiously, forgetting about her annoyance with Regulus in her will to not interrupt the two wizards at the bottom of the stairs.

'I just don't know how you all do it,' Lucinda was sobbing, her face in her arms. She and Rabastan hadn't moved since Emma last saw them. 'I try to be strong about it, I try to be like you, and Emma, and Regulus, and even Alecto, but I just can't. I just sit up, wondering, worrying that this was the last time I'll ever see you again, that one of you will just not come back from one of your missions, and there's nothing I can do about it!'

'Lucinda,' Rabastan started reassuringly, expression bewildered.

With Regulus as a best friend, there's no wonder he doesn't know how to cheer up Lucinda, Emma thought. They couldn't be more different.

'I know what you're going to say, Rab, that they don't send students to do the hard work, that you're more protected than the rest. But I know that it's not true. You think I don't notice that bruise on your collarbone, Rabastan? Do you think that I don't know that it probably goes down much farther than that, just because you hide the cuts with your robes?

'I'm doing my best to help you guys, but nothing I do will ever be enough. All I want is to just stop being so scared all of the time, and I don't even know why we need this bloody war in the first place!'

'Shh,' Rabastan hushed her automatically, glancing behind him. Lucinda's voice had risen, but it was cut off by a sob just as Rabastan spoke.

Tentatively, he put his arms around her, stroking her hair as she cried, his face going through a plethora of emotions.

'Look, Lucy,' he started, voice wavering, unsure. 'At this point, everyone's just trying to survive. That's the Slytherin thing, isn't it? We can't go back now, not when we've already given so much up. It's not about winning anymore, it's about all the people that they've taken from us, and for what? Muggles? Are they worth dying for? No. But Mulciber, Mulciber's dad, and Regulus's dad... are they worth dying for? I think they're at least worth fighting for, to tell Dumbledore that it's not okay that all these people have to be sacrificed just for his precious Mudbloods.'

Lucinda sniffed, looking up through teary eyes.

'I guess,' she said in a small voice. 'I just – I don't know.'

'Well, you know what Lucy? I do know,' Rabastan said heatedly, his green eyes locked onto her blue. 'Because if this war has done nothing else, at least it's taught me what's important in life. What's important in my life. And...' he took a breath, exhaling loudly. 'I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I don't care if your parents have already set you up with someone else, but I do care about you. I love you, Lucinda. And I have for a while now.

'You say that you're weak, that you feel like we don't see you as one of us. But the only reason that the rest of us are still holding it together is because you are here to remind us of how life used to be, to remind us that there are things still worth holding on to. And I realised that tonight more than ever. So, Lucinda Rosier, I love you. What are you going to do about it?'

Rabastan stopped abruptly, out of breath after his announcement. After a second, he turned his head, embarrassed at his emotional outburst in the middle of his staircase, but Lucinda turned it back, taking him by surprise with a long kiss.

'I love you too, Rabastan. Even if I thought it was something else before, I'm sure of it now. And if this war is only going to get worse, I don't want to waste any time thinking about it.'

Averting her gaze from the enthusiastically kissing couple, Emma realised that Regulus was still crouching next to her. Their eyes met.

'Why can't we be like them?' Emma asked, not caring that her voice broke on the last syllable.

Quickly, she hurried away before the tears in her eyes threatened to spill over.