New Year's Eve came and went much like Christmas had at The Burrow. The twins had taken turns dancing me and Ginny around the sitting room while the grown-ups imbibed in some fire whisky. Mrs. Weasley's face had been in a permanent blush the entire night while Mr. Weasley and my dad talked animatedly with each other, growing louder as the hours passed. I had even roped Ron into sharing a fast-paced dance after seeing him sit on the couch alone, watching us hesitantly. The timid boy always seemed to be left on the outside of the four of us which I always felt bad about. I had long put our rocky beginning behind us and found the younger boy to be cute and in need of some attention. Bill, the twins' eldest brother, had also been present for the occasion which meant I finally got to meet him. He excitedly greeted me as I walked in the door saying I was the only thing the twins' or Ginny ever talked about in their letters. Bill and Charlie then spent most of the evening together catching up, with Bill passing Charlie some fire whisky when his parents were looking the other way. This left Percy who just floated between groups but mostly stuck around Bill who he blasted with frequent questions about work and living away from home.
When midnight tolled me and Ginny animatedly hugged each other and danced around the living room as we rang in the New Year. Moments later however Fred pulled me by my arm and kissed me softly on the cheek which caused me to turn a deep shade of pink. But before I could assess my own reaction to Fred, George followed suit of his brother but only kissed me on the forehead followed by an exaggerated hug. I then looked ruefully at the twins before spotting Ginny laughing in the corner while Ron smiled cheekily. In response I crossed the room towards them and pulled Ron over by the arm before planting a swift kiss on his cheek which in return wiped the smile off his face and caused him to blush. What I hadn't seen was the scathing look Fred had given us or the stifled laughter from Ginny.
Three days later we were back at Hogwarts and starting up another term. Unfortunately, the winter months made the castle consistently cold which drew all of the Gryffindor's to the fire each night. My friends and I would often play Exploding Snap or just huddle under blankets and talk throughout the evening until we retired to our dormitories. This evening was no different as we were all together in a loose circle while Lee and Alicia were comparing their Chocolate Frog collection. I had my own small collection, but I had left it behind at home. So, while the others discussed their more coveted cards, I was admiring Alicia's Beaumont Majoribanks card, who was accredited as being a legendary Herbologist.
"Do you think Professor Dippet taught You Know Who?" I heard Lee ask as he held up the previous headmaster's card.
"I mean You Know Who must have went to school around that time right?" Katie added while the others contemplated the chilling idea.
"Professor Dumbledore is twice the headmaster Dippet could have ever been!" Fred responded confidently while showing the current headmaster's card. "I mean who doesn't realize they are teaching the world's darkest evil wizard?"
"Do you think it could happen again?" Alicia asked quietly. "You Know Who coming back?"
The others all went quiet while I looked between them to observe their reactions. Angelina turned a ghostly colour while Katie shrunk her shoulders down as if to make herself smaller. Lee furtively stared at the card he was holding in his hands without moving his eyes or saying anything. The twins both grimaced and clenched their jaws while Alicia looked down at the floor. I was inclined to believe that this topic had never come up in any of their homes while it had been a conversation several times in mine. My father and uncle remained unconvinced that He Who Must Not Be Named had actually been vanquished and believed he had only disappeared instead. I also knew Remus had been researching what could have happened between him and little Harry Potter all those years ago and almost believed it had something to do with James, or maybe Lily; some spell they must have cast before being murdered. Plus, the fact that my mother was also brought to her undoing the very same day for the sake of amusement and revenge, it was hard to put my family's faith in the belief that it was truly over. The day the war supposedly ended my family experienced too much loss and heartache to expect peace while I knew most other families blindly believed it so not to experience further anxiety or fear.
"He will come back," I said calmly while my friends gasped and looked at me with a mix of anger, fear, and incredulity.
"How can you say that so surely?" Alicia asked in her sheepish voice, not really wanting to believe my words.
I took a deep sigh before explaining myself. I hadn't told the rest of my friends about my mother up until this point.
"On the day the war ended my mother was tortured to insanity by a Death Eater all because she was trying to save her friends from being murdered. In the end they were murdered and her efforts were unsuccessful. And because of this I have a mother unable to recognize her own daughter, and the rest of my family murdered all on the very same day. He Who Must Not Be Named was never found and the ones who took my family away from me don't even know where he is. So that's how I know he's only biding his time and will rise again once he is capable," I finished in a flat tone.
These are all things I had heard my father and uncle discuss several times and I believed in every word. It made absolutely no sense for the powerful wizard to disappear at the height of his reign only to vanish without a trace and be expected to be dead without confirmation. I knew something must have happened because of the Potter's but it only hindered his goal. So, it would only be a matter of time before he rose again and came out of hiding. And when that time came the target on my family's back would once again resurface. Squibs and werewolves were pretty lowly on the blood hierarchy.
My friends were speechless at my words, not able to form coherent responses. The twins already knew about my mother and I figured that their family also believed in the very real possibility of You Know Who coming back. But the others looked unsure. Angelina was frowning at finding out about my mother and I could tell she figured none of her words would be suitable in reply. Lee and Katie looked uncomfortable at both the fact of my mother and the possibility of the dark wizard's return as if the possibility had never dawned on them. Alicia however looked unsure of whether she actually believed me or not. I pitied families who whole heartedly disbelieved in the possibility of You Know Who's return; they were the most vulnerable as they wouldn't see it coming when the signs reappeared.
"That's absolutely horrible Marnie, I'm so sorry," Angelina finally broke the silence before she came over to hug me. I could feel soft tears falling on my sweater while she held onto me for a few long moments. She truly was a great friend and I knew she also believed everything I had said. It also pained me that she took my mother's secret so emotionally, feeling for her friend's situation she had not previously been privy to.
While Ange hugged me, I could also see the twins looking over at us with solemn looks. It was rare that children our age talked of such things outside the hushed conversations within our own homes. It was absolutely terrifying to think that the war of our parent's generation could one day be ours.
When Angelina finally let go and sat down beside me I could see Katie and Lee looking at me with sad expressions.
"I'm sorry Marn," Lee said quietly, unable to look me in the eyes. "That's awful what happened to your mum. It's not right," he continued as I realized he was trying to picture his own life without his own doting mother.
"That's one big secret to keep all on your own," Katie added next with a meaningful look. "You know we're always here for you right?"
I started to feel tears line my eyes while I nodded back to her. I didn't trust the sound of my own voice not to break.
"That's not fair Marnie, what happened to your family," Alicia was the last one to add.
I could tell she wanted to talk more about my other beliefs but the current tone of the group didn't merit further conversation on the matter. They were all reeling in the fact of what had happened to their friend's mother and what I had been living with since then. It was a lot for a bunch of twelve-year-olds to process.
Shortly after Alicia excused herself to go to bed soon followed by Katie. They both hugged me before going up to the dormitory. Lee was the next to retire, giving me a sad smile before heading up the stairs. Not long after Angelina couldn't stifle her own yawns and hesitantly went upstairs. This left me with the twins in a heavy silence.
"Leesh seems unsure about the whole thing don't you think?" George asked, breaking the silence.
"Yea, it's not all that surprising that not everyone agreed. There are a lot of families that refuse to believe in the possibility of another war," I said matter-of-factly.
"It doesn't make it right. You're her friend, she should believe you," Fred said a little angrily.
"Don't get upset with her Fred, we are both products of how we were raised," I said sadly. "Plus one day, unfortunately, she will be proven wrong when I will wish it had been me."
We sat in silence for an unknown amount of time. I could see George's heavy eyes start to sink as he fought off his tiredness.
"Why don't you two head upstairs? It must be past midnight at this point," I said.
"What are you going to do Hare?" Fred asked.
"Probably stay up for a while. Maybe read a book," I said knowing the nightmares were sure to come tonight.
"Why don't you come up with us instead?" Fred asked while George smiled and nodded.
"You sure Lee and Kenneth won't mind?" I asked, not wanting to let on how much the idea of being with the twins relaxed my whirling mind.
"Of course not. Lee wouldn't mind, plus he'll already be snoring. And Kenneth is a heavy sleeper. Plus, we can draw the curtains closed, make a little fort." The twins smiled as I relished in the idea.
"That sounds like it could be good," I said still wanting to appear more relaxed than I felt.
But the twins just smiled knowingly and each grabbed me by an arm. We made our way up the stairs to the boy's second year dorm. Once we entered George threw me a Weasley sweater and pajama pants that seemed much too small for either of them. I quickly went into the washroom to change before coming out to see the twins had somehow pushed their two beds together and closed the curtains except for where the beds met in the middle. I crawled in between them and felt like it was just the three of us, closed off from the rest of the world. I slunk under the blankets and looked at each twin with a smile before getting comfortable.
"Goodnight Marn," George whispered as I could tell he was already falling asleep.
"Goodnight George," I whispered back.
"Goodnight Hare," Fred said as I turned back to look at the more awake twin.
"Wake me if I have a nightmare?" I asked hesitantly.
"Of course," Fred reassured as he rubbed his hand over my arm.
The soothing motion started to lull me to sleep as I closed my eyes.
"Goodnight Fred," was the last thing I whispered before falling asleep.
The next thing I knew I was walking in between the twins on our way down to the Great Hall.
"Ready for this?" George asked in an unfamiliar voice.
Before I could look over at him or enquire what this was, I saw a younger girl running up to us from the bottom of the stairs. The girl looked oddly familiar, but I couldn't place her.
"Gideon!" the younger girl shouted as she reached us.
I looked over to George only to see an older boy who was not my best friend, although he had similar red hair.
"Good thinking getting the brothers to come along," the girl smiled at me before turning back to head towards a group of about ten people waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs.
I looked between the faces within the group and automatically pulled out a man who looked just like my father along with a younger looking Remus. More closely I realized that James, Lily, Alice, and Frank were also amongst the waiting group. As I continued to look, I spotted an unfamiliar face beside James who was blatantly staring at me while I felt my cheeks start to get warm. But before I could do anything else the young girl I still couldn't place started talking to me while the others filed out of the castle.
As I started to follow the others, the entrance of the castle became hazy while I felt my vision start to cloud. Moments later my surroundings came into focus and I saw Fred and George in a heated battle surrounded by five Death Eaters. I started calling out to them as I feared for their safety. I was however marveling at how two twelve-year-olds could hold off that many skilled wizards for that long before I saw a green curse hit George. I cried out in horror as I saw the lifeless eyes of my best friend looking back at me. I started running, having to find Fred in the thick of battle but by the time I reached the group the Death Eaters were gone and Fred laid at my feet without breathing. I sank down to my knees and cried out in anguish. How could I have let this happen!? It was too much to bear. But before I could think of anything else, I felt a set of hands on my shoulders willing me to come with them.
"Lena, we have to go," the voice said.
"But they are my best friends!" I yelled back defiantly.
"It's a nightmare Marnie," I heard the voice say back.
"You think I don't know that?" I asked incredulously before feeling the set of hands start to shake me.
"Wake-up!" it yelled before my surroundings started to blur once more and I was now looking into Fred's face with tears in my eyes.
Without thinking I grabbed onto him and hugged him fiercely after just having watched him murdered in my dream. He let me hold him while he ran his fingers through my hair.
"It's okay now Hare," he whispered as I softly cried into his shoulder.
Holding onto my best friend in that moment made the reality of an eventual war almost paralyzing. How would I ever be able to cope with losing my best friends or family like my dad and uncle had? No wonder they had shut themselves away from the world, it must have been blindingly difficult to move forward after the day they lost everything. It had been too much; I couldn't live through that and want to survive.
After several moments of holding me Fred gently put me back onto my pillow and continued to stroke my hair as I fell back into a dreamless sleep. Surprisingly I didn't open my eyes until the next morning's sun coaxed me awake. I felt the weight of someone's arm on my stomach as I rolled over to hear a soft snoring. I opened my eyes and saw Fred's sleeping figure draping his arm over me. I smiled as I stared at him for a few moments before watching him start moving around. He then opened his eyes and looked around to notice me awake. With a smile he removed his arm, but not before mussing my already wild hair.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked with a hint of worry in his eyes.
I frowned a little before answering. Fuzzy details were coming back from my dream, but I could only really remember screaming as I knelt down over the bodies of my two best friends.
"Just glad I was here," I answered which made Fred smile in return.
I could tell it was later than we usually slept in due to the brighter sun. But before I could say anything a loud snore cut me off. I turned back over to see George sound asleep with the blankets tucked up around him. He continued to emit a tirade of snores while I giggled and Fred passed me a pillow. We then both started beating him with our pillows until moments later he was jolted awake.
"Oi, I'm sleeping here," he said as he pulled the blankets up over his head.
"Yea well we're not and we're starving," I answered with a laugh as my stomach growled in agreeance.
"Yea well it's hard trying to sleep with you kicking me every five minutes," George added grumpily.
I then stood up on the beds and started jumping in-between the twins while they dodged my landings. They were cursing and laughing at the same time as I coerced them out of bed.
"Oi, some of us are still sleeping!" I heard Lee grumpily exclaim from outside the curtains.
We all stopped for a moment before sharing mischievous grins. The three of us then hurried out of our enclosure and ran for Lee's bed where we all jumped around while Lee unsuccessfully tried to swat us away. Thankfully Kenneth was an early riser and had already gone down for breakfast. After a few moments Lee successfully pushed us off the bed and the boys made their way to get ready. In the meantime, I quickly went to my own dorm to change before heading back down to the common room to wait. The girls were probably already waiting for us in the Great Hall since they hadn't been upstairs. Minutes later we headed downstairs, but Lee refused to talk to us. George and Fred however had their arms looped through mine as we walked to breakfast with Lee grumpily trailing behind. I hadn't been looking forward to having the talk with my friends like I had last night, but I knew it had been inevitable. Plus, the following dreams had been unbearable but with the twins at my side it had almost been tolerable.
We entered the Great Hall and were met with sleepy smiles from the girls. Alicia looked slightly awkward, but I just smiled at her which she gratefully returned. I didn't fault her for having her own convictions, I just didn't envy the day which I believed would inevitably come to pass. I just hoped for my friend's sake that she was prepared enough to be able to survive and protect herself. But I figured I would always be around to protect her as well, along with all my other friends since this is what makes fighting worth it. To stand with your friends against an impossible foe with confidence because they are worth it.