Hey there!
Yes, I am still alive. I am back in Germany now and have my future more or less sorted out, so I have finally the time to pick this up. I have to admit, this chapter fas finished to 90 percent even before I stepped a foot in New Zealand, but I couldn't bring myself to edit it up and upload it. I hope you forgive me!
On that account I would like to remind you to be gentle with me, I told what this fic was intended to be in the very first chapter. I admit, it kinda got a life of its own, but don't expect it to stray from the original show too much.
To close, I hope you have fun with this chapter. It is the second longest so far!

Le Morte d'Arthur

"Hello there." I almost didn't recognize my own voice. Was that supposed to be me? That high, quirky pitch that escaped my mouth completely unplanned?
Arthur turned from the tree he was leaning against, his whole face lit up when he approached me.
"Well, hello there. I was expecting that you would come."
"Oh really? What gave it away? I suppose the giant creature in the woods today had nothing to do with it?"
A cocky smile spread on his face, he was standing right before me now, and leaned his head forward. "More the slightly breathless 'See you soon' you gave me, after I kissed you. To be honest, I was expecting something more confident." His tone remained flirty, but his eyebrow twitched, indicating that he had indeed expected a different handling from my side.
I shifted uncomfortably. No need to tell him that this was my first kiss. Like... ever. Mentally or not. "Well let's just say, when I gave you that speech that someday you would be happy to see me, I wasn't expecting my words to come true like... that."
"Would you want it any differently?"
"No!" Shit. This answer came way too quick to be good for his ego. Fast, I had to fix it. "But do not flatter yourself. Although I wasn't really expecting it to actually happen, the thought that it could, crossed my mind once or twice." A big, fat lie. I had never thought anything like that would happen. I had been way to focused on my quest to even consider personal feelings.
"Well then it won't surprise you if I do this." With a fluent move he grabbed my arms and pulled me in, holding my waist and placed a deep kiss on my lips. My hands got tucked in his hair again and some part of me registered, that we were moving backwards. When my back collided with a tree, I pulled my head back.
"Stop."

He immediately stepped back, but his hands remained around my body. "Is everything okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned and had already started to scan my face for any sign of discomfort.
I gave him a reassuring smile. "I am fine, don't worry. But if we continue with that, neither of us will be able to focus on why I am here."
The cocky grin reappeared. "As you wish, Milady."
The annoyance in my look hid how much I liked that nickname. I had never been anything to anyone. And I liked how Arthur put me on the same level as him. Maybe even higher, whispered the already known little voice and reminded me of his statement how he saw me last time. I would also have to talk to him about that. But I got off-topic.

I brought our conversation back to business. "You encountered the Questing Beast yesterday."
He shrugged. "Gaius said as much. He also mentioned that it was a warning from the old religion."
"Do you believe in it? The old religion?" I started walking around him, one hand never leaving his body.
"I am conflicted. I was raised to despite it, yet I have a feeling it might be some truth to Gaius' words."
I nodded thoughtfully, which he couldn't see since I was currently behind him. After a quick consideration I spoke: "Gaius had seen that thing before. The night your mother died."
Arthur spun around so fast; my hand got warm from the pure friction. "What do you know about my mother?" Every playfulness vanished and he stared me down with his blue lakes yet again.
I sighed. "Nothing I can already tell you. Believe me, we will discuss your mother. But it isn't time yet."
"I hate it when you drop stuff like that. Merlin, Morgana, my father, my mother... do I know anything about the people I am close to?"
I tilted my head. "You know all the important stuff. How they feel, how they act, what makes them the persons they are. All I know... are their secrets."
"Sometimes one secret can change everything else", he reminded me, brows knitted, and I sighed.

"I know. But despite 'not knowing him'", I stressed that term with a lot of disbelieve, "You came back for Merlin yesterday. And lost one of your knights because of it. Why?"
Arthur stared into the distance of the forest. "I don't know. I didn't think, I just acted. There was no way I could ever leave him behind."
I repeated myself very softly: "Why?"
He ran a hand through his hair. "Because he is more than just a servant. He is a good man and one of the very few people in my life I feel comfortable around. He is loyal to me, not my father. And I think my interests are for him more important than his own." He looked at me and the unspoken 'Which I can't say about you' drifted in the air between us.
"And you feel all of that, despite the fact that he is a sorcerer?" It was a dangerous question, but an important one.
This time Arthur sighed. "Yes. He may have magic but all he does with it is to protect me. Without getting any credit from anyone. How could I look down on a man like that?"

I stared at him. I hadn't expected this much acknowledgement from the prince. I believed he gave him much more credit than he let Merlin now. At this point of the story... it released a weight from my chest. There was no need to point out to Arthur what he got in Merlin any longer, he already knew. Although he still didn't use the word friend, as I suddenly noticed. But I was confident it wouldn't take long.

"What... what happened?" Arthur sat up from his bed. He wore his usual outfit plus a chainmail which looked a bit displaced in his bed. I got strength from the comfort of knowing that he wore his armor because of the dangers outside, not inside. I stepped to his bed and sank on the side of the mattress, stopping him from getting up. "You got bitten by the Questing Beast." My voice was steady, as steady as I could manage it.
He got pale. "That is... not good." He stopped trying to stand and leaned back a bit. For a while we sat there, silent. "You didn't warn me."
I didn't dare to look at him. I would have seen a more confused than angry young man, but I just kept playing with a piece of his blanket.
"You didn't warn me. Why?"
I shrugged, my fingers clenching the blanket a bit more. "If I could have it my way, I wouldn't let half the stuff happen to you in the first place. But then there are milestones, fixed points in time, something so big and important, I do not dare to wage with it. If I would have warned you yesterday, maybe your gut would have listened to Morgana more. Maybe you would've taken three man extra. Maybe you would've hesitated to leave and would have been late. I couldn't risk it." My hands were fists now, a bit shaking from the strength I used.
"So you knew that this would happen, and you let it. Similar to Will."
I froze. My whole body got stiff, even my hands weren't moving anymore. I felt so tense, I felt like I'd explode with the wrong movement. As fast as it appeared, it went away. Arthur's warm hand on my own sucked the tension faster out of my body than any vision could.
"You know, I get tested every day. My father, Gaius', the knights... they all watch me and every move I make, waiting for a mistake that would prove to them... whatever they want to have proved. So are you. But you have the burden to have a much bigger entity than a king looking, and a much bigger task than the next guard shift you could mess up. Your faith is being tested. Your faith in an entity and its quest that you were chosen for. I will not be mad with you for that."

Arthur was a serious young man, but sometimes he was so childish and, ironically, prince-like, I forgot he was about to be the next king. The greatest king to have ever lived. And despite his young age, sometimes, when faced with extraordinary problems and decision, that shone through the veil of youth.
My uncertain expression got replaced with a relieved one and I leaped forwards to hug the young prince. I could feel his smile when he whispered in my ear: "You can stop being afraid all the time. You won't get rid of me."
Even though I knew that to be true, a small tear escaped my eye, representing all the potential of conflict still to come.

After what felt like an eternity I pulled back and studied Arthur's even in here paler getting face. "Do you want to know what happens to your body right now?"
Arthur hesitated, but then he nodded, sitting straighter and looking concentrated as he held up our still intertwined hand gave me an encouraging smile. "Let's do this."

We appeared in Gaius' working room, where Arthur's body were already laying on a table. After the guards disappeared, we watched the conversation between Gaius and Merlin unfold. I could feel him shifting when Merlin mentioned that it was his destiny to protect the prince and that he would do anything for his friend. Even die. Merlin went through his book with a lightning speed and managed to cast two spells that didn't show any effect, before the king rushed in. He carried his unconscious son through the yard, Merlin and Gaius behind him. We followed, and Arthur's grip on my hand got very, very tight as Uther collapsed in tears and the knights had to take over. They carried Arthur back in his bed that he left only minutes ago, and after a brief touch on his forehead, I got us back inside.

"I have never seen my father like this", muttered Arthur and almost collapsed while trying to sit on a chair. I caught him and helped, but he was still confused about it, looking at me for an answer.
"Your mind protects you from all pain, but you are still getting weaker. There is no stopping that", I quickly explained before moving on. "You know that I do not see a lot of good in Uther. His love for you may be the only thing. But even I would never doubt that he does love you. In his own, sometimes twisted, way."
Arthur rubbed his forehead. "What happens next?"
I tilted my head. "Merlin does what he always does when he doesn't know what to do. He will speak to Kilgharrah."
"The dragon? He will heal me?"
"No. He will only tell him, where he must go to ask for help. The center of the old religion. The Isle of the Blessed."
Arthur frowned for a while and then sighed. "I feel like I should know all of this. But my father builds barriers around magic anywhere he can."
I shrugged and hopped on the table, my feet resting on Arthur's chair, next to his legs. "He believes to have every reason to hate it. And you must never forget. While magic may not be evil, it also isn't good. A price will be demanded, and a price will be paid. Whether anyone likes it, or not."
"A price? What kind of price?" His voice got weaker and in the end, his body sunk into itself, making his head rest on my knees.
I changed my position so it would be my lap and started stroking his hair. "There is only one price that can pay for a life..."
"A life." He finished my sentence and I shortly stopped before I continued. "Yes. A while ago it was for me to decide the worth of Will's life. Now it will be Merlin's task to decide yours."

I barely made it into Arthur's mind. It got foggy, and hazy, and it has taken a bunch more strength than I was used to need, to build his mindlayer up.
"Why aren't you here all the time? You could, right? I am asleep all the time." He didn't greet me out of his bed, instead he was laying in mine, my favorite sheet tucked beneath him.
My urge to raise an eyebrow and tease him about the location quickly vanished when I noticed how pale he actually was.
"Several reasons", I answered and pulled a backless chair towards the bed. It wasn't wide enough to fit both of us next to each other. Well, it was when I was the one laying down and Arthur the one sitting, but I needed a lot less space. "First, if I would be here all the time, your body would rest, but your mind wouldn't since it'd be preoccupied. That is why I can't come very night, your mind needs time to rest and process. Second, I would also have to sleep all day and I know it seems different sometimes, but I do have a life to take care of besides our meetings. And third..." I grabbed his hand, just like Gwen did with his real body, "There was something you needed to hear."
"Gwen...", he muttered and I nodded.
"Last time you said I have powers you could never possess. That my magic makes me far more powerful than you. I need you to understand, that this is not true." He already looked like he wanted to say something, but I didn't give him any opportunity to. "I am powerful, yes. Because my magic allows me to trick people's mind, to let them do my bidding. Do you know, why you are far more powerful than I am?"
He raised an eyebrow and waited. I smiled.

"Because you can lead people without any magic tricks. You can inspire them, make them see it your way, simply convince them. You have an extraordinarily strong mix of power and charisma. And one will always enhance the other. You do not make people obey you, like I do. You make them want to obey you. And that is a far more powerful gift."
He still looked disbelieving. "People follow me because I am prince. I will be king. They are afraid of the consequences."
I shook my head. Did he really have so little self-esteem? "No. They fear your father. They love you. Because you are forgiving when he is cruel. And you are kind when he is indifferent. Where Uther sees an enemy, you see an ally. And that is why they love you." I sighed and began rubbing his hand, letting mine wander up his arm until I cupped his cheek with my hand. "When are you finally going to believe, that you will be a much better king, than Uther could ever hope to be?"
Arthur closed his eyes and pressed himself against my hand. "People keep saying that to me. You, Gwen, Merlin, Gaius..."
I raised an eyebrow. They did? I didn't know about the last two.
He had stopped talking and his eyes remained closed. I could feel that he drifted off to a deeper layer of his mind, similar like falling asleep. I smiled and quickly entered 'our room'. I just cut a single white strand between two of my fingers, in his state that would be more than enough to bring me back.

"I feel better." Arthur was standing tall in his room, dressed the way I was used to, presenting himself.
"I can see that." And I could. When I entered, I could practically watch his mind getting clearer, stabilizing itself.
"I was awake. And my father was there. I said something to him about..."
"Having someone looking over you. A guardian angel.", I finished, a little smile spreading across my face.
He looked thoughtful. "Yes... I was referring to Merlin. And to you. Without even knowing it."
Well, it was debatable if I classified as a guardian angel since I couldn't really do something to actually protect him, but that wasn't a topic I really wanted to discuss.
"So Merlin did it, then. He gave up someone else's life for mine..." His mood had changed. He still looked thoughtful, but it was darker. More regretting. "He shouldn't have done that."
I was with him with two quick steps, grabbing his chin so he would look at me. "Yes, he should. You are extremely important. More important than any of us!"
He pulled his chin away, his mouth was twisted in an upset way. "I am sick of hearing that! I am just a person. Like everyone else. No one, no one should die so that I can live!"
"These are the perks of being a king. Especially a king of your importance." My voice was soft, I didn't want it to sound like 'Just shrug it off'.
He sighed, deeply, and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I do not want to say that I don't want to be prince. I couldn't imagine being anything else. But how come that you, Merlin, my father, how come all of you are able to make decisions regarding the faith of an entire kingdom and be sure about them, while I am just getting more uncertain about myself with every problem I face?"

I kneeled down before him, crossing my arms over his legs. "Because we need to be sure. Uther is king, he must act strong. Merlin's fate is to watch over you. If he starts to question that, everything would fall apart. And I..." I shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. "I do what I have to. I never really had a choice, my path is already written down. I can only walk it."
Arthur had started to play with a strand of my hair. I let my chin rest on his knees and closed my eyes. I did my best not to show him, but I was tired. This whole thing started to drain me. Not this situation in particular, but before everything began, I only connected with animals, never entering someone else's mind. Especially not that regularly. I had tried so hard to act confident and certain with everything, hiding the fact that most of the stuff I did, regarding his memory and our bond, was completely new territory. Sure, I tested my powers when I was teenager, taking advantage of them, but this long-term shit? Never done it before.

"Whose life?"
I got ripped from my thoughts rather abruptly. "What?"
"Who is going to die? What bargain has Merlin struck?", Arthur repeated, looking impatient.
I sighed. Of course that question would come. No use in getting my hopes up. "That is a bit complicated", I started and bit my lip, trying to figure out what to say.
"How can it be complicated? You said it yourself, a life for a life. So whose life is at stake now?" He had gotten tense, I could tell that only my weight on his legs were keeping him from jumping up.
"Right now? Hunith's."
I didn't know which name he was expecting, but that was not it. "What?"
"Hunith is making her way to the castle as we speak. She is extremely ill."
"He traded his mother's life for mine?" This time there was no stopping him. With a quick, but still gentle, move, he placed my arms on his bed and got up, pacing through the room.
I sighed and got up too, leaning against a pillar of his bed. "He wanted to trade his own life. That is what he expected. But creatures of the old religion are very rare, and no race, maybe except humans, likes to kill its own kind. Even when it means obeying their own rules. So Nimueh took the next best. His mother."
"Nimueh? He struck the bargain with her?"
I nodded and he started mumbling under his breath. "Of course...fool…trusting Nimueh...enemy...naive."
I watched him walking up and down the room for a while, until I ripped him from his thoughts. "He is blaming Kilgharrah. And with a point. The dragon rarely does something without thinking of his own interests." Oops. That came out a bit bitter. I had no beef with Kilgharrah, I went to him for advice once, but I wasn't his biggest fan either. He is even more manipulative than me, and that means something.
Arthur looked at me with the question in his eyes, but I shook my head, dismissing it.
"So what is he going to do?"
"What do you think?"
Arthur had stopped pacing and simply stood next to me now. "He will try to save her. I know I would."
I nodded thoughtfully. "He will come to you to say goodbye. Maybe try to remember that."
He looked at me with an 'Are you serious' expression and I grinned before leaning forward, placing a kiss on his cheek.

I never did it before, but I was certain it would work. I materialized a bit behind Arthur, just when the door swung open and Merlin entered. I didn't know why I was so curious about that talk the two would have, but my gut told me that something would be different from what I remembered.
It started like I had seen it, but that didn't last very long.
"You still haven't got it, have you? I decide when we need to talk." Arthur sat down, cup in hand.
"Not today", replied Merlin, still leaning against the door.
"Well then, go ahead, with whatever that's so important that it allows you to call the shots now."
"Still the prat. The royal prat." Merlin moved closer and Arthur looked disbelieving for a moment, before he put the cup down and tried to hide his grin.
"Are you ever going to change?"
"No, you'd get bored." He got next to Arthur who had started to rub his injury. "You promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker."
Arthur turned a bit to look at the young sorcerer, a frown appearing on his face. "That sounds like you won't be working for me anymore."
Merlin shifted a bit, his gaze never left the prince. "I am happy to be your servant. To the day I die."
Arthur's frown deepened. "You look too serious to be joking. Tell me, what is going on?"
"Why do you think there is something going on?"
"Because I know you, Merlin. At least sometimes I think I do. "
"Well, I know you. You are a great warrior. One day, you will be a great king."
"You are making me worried."
"But you need to learn to listen as well as you fight."
Arthur remained silent, he had fully turned towards Merlin now, a pretty serious expression on his face.
"That is all I wanted to say. Just... don't be a prat." Merlin turned and headed for the door.
"Merlin!"
The sorcerer hesitated, waiting.
"Why do I have the feeling you are saying goodbye?"
Merlin slightly turned his head, a smile on his face. "Goodbye Arthur." Then he left.

I watched the scene with a half-smile. It was different from what I remembered. I watched as Arthur grabbed his cup, taking a deep sip. He continued to stare into the flames of the fireplace when I disappeared.

"You weren't here yesterday.", said Arthur, sitting in his chair very similar to how I left him.
"I thought your mind should process what happened on its own.", I answered, stepping in front of him, looking down.
With a quick and sudden movement, he pulled me closer and lifted me on his lap, his arms around my body. I wrapped my arms around his neck, I was surprised, yes, but I enjoyed that sudden closeness.
"He was really saying goodbye, wasn't he?"
"Yes, he was. He rode to the Isle again the next morning."
"Is... is he dead?" He asked very quietly and hesitantly, like he didn't really want to know.
He couldn't see my smile as I answered: "Do you want to see what happened?"

Arthur's body got a bit stiff when he learned of Gaius' plan to sacrifice himself for Merlin and remained that way for a while.
We watched Merlin racing after his mentor and Gaius' talk with Nimueh. It could practically feel his frown when the sorceress mentioned how she helped Uther once, and his grip got tight when Gaius blamed her for Ygritte's death. The conversation unfolded and then cut to the point where Merlin became the third party in the bargain. He argued with Nimueh, a fight that ended in them throwing their magic at each other. I could tell that he didn't notice it, but Artur's body got more tense the more Merlin got in danger. When his servant got hit, he almost jumped up from his chair, despite having me on his lap. He froze when Merlin got up again, unleashing his magic on Nimueh. She was killed by lightning, bursting into pieces. The death itself was rather simple for someone with her powers, well, at least I thought so. Arthur relaxed a bit when Merlin rushed to Gaius' side, getting soaked from the weather he conjured. That immediately went away when Merlin yelled out his pain, only to appear again as Gaius woke up.

I let them have their privacy and the mirror cleared up.
"What just happened?", asked Arthur and I leaned a bit away from him to see his face properly.
"The balance of life and death has been restored. Nimueh died, so Gaius may live."
"So she is dead? Truly dead?"
I nodded. "Yes. Another high priestess of the old religion is gone."
He looked at me questioningly. "If I hadn't known better, I would say you are sad about that."
I shrugged as well as I could with his arms still around me. "I do not mourn Nimueh. But even though my powers do not come from the old religion, I cannot help but to mourn the loss of another person who is like me."
Arthur straightened himself, and me in the process too. "You are nothing like this witch, do you understand me?" His hands wandered up from my waist over my shoulders to cup my face. "You may share some traits, but that does not make you like her."
"It doesn't?" I didn't try at all to hide the doubt in my voice.
"No. It doesn't." He pulled me closer, one hand on my back now, the other in my hair.

When I still tried to say something, he shut me up effectively by pressing his lips on mine. My eyes closed, my hands tightened around his shirt, that I grabbed before. He deepened the kiss, managing to get his tongue in my mouth again and I shifted a bit until I sat comfortably on his lap. Ignoring the fact that in doing so, I applied pressure on his mid, something he didn't let go unnoticed.
"Careful there...", he whispered, breathing heavily. "Don't start something you are not prepared to finish. "
I blushed, hard, but managed to get my cocky smile back.
"Oh really?" I used my right index finger to track the lines of his face, purposely shifting again. "And what makes you think that will be the one who won't be able to... finish?"
He copied my blush now, his voice dropped a bit: "You are walking on dangerous territory."
I grinned. "I sure hope so."
His lips found mine again, pushing hard against my mouth. I swallowed a soft moan and tried to get my hands under his shirt, just to notice suddenly that it was gone. We parted, breathing hard and Arthur looked surprised on his bare chest. I had to laugh.
"So that is how you are most comfortable right now?"
He returned my grin and shrugged. "What can I say? My mind speaks for itself." He took his hands out of my hair and started tracing my face, cheek, nose, lips. His fingers left a hot trail and he moved it further down my neck, over my shoulder, ending at the edge of my cleavage.
"And it gives you an unfair advantage."
My eyes had rested on my hands, now laying on his bare chest, but now I looked up, meeting his dark blue fire. I cleared my throat, moving away from him. His hands twitched but he let me go. Holding his gaze, I stepped back towards the back, playing with the strings of my dress.
"And we wouldn't want to be unfair, would we?" I pulled and suddenly there was much more skin meeting the cool air around me. I shivered and he was with me so fast, the movement seemed like a blur.
"No, we wouldn't."
And those hoarse words were the last spoken between us for quite an amount of time.

Well? Satisfied? That was officially the end for the first season! I will set this fic on Complete, just like I planned, but I will start with the second season soon. Maybe even today. I would be happy if you follow me there, as soon as the first chapter/episode is finished!

s/13577331/1/Now-you-Know

There is the link, like I promised! Have fun!