Captain Harmon Rabb drew his cap down against the weather as he walked briskly towards his apartment building. The weather had gone from bad to worse since he left for work that morning. The weather was one of the things he hated the most about London. It was an okay town really, he just hadn't grown to love it in the six months he had been there. It was December, Christmas was twenty days away and he still hadn't made any plans. His mother wanted him to come home for the holiday, and he wasn't on duty so he could. He hadn't spoken to his fiancee in a week, the last time they spoke ended in another fight. She was 6000 miles away in San Diego waiting for him to get over the loss of his ward. He had hurt her by pushing her away and going back on his plan to move there. Mattie had died three months earlier while recovering from a plane crash. Unexplained cardiac arrest the doctor had told him. The young girl had been fine one minute, making plans for her move to San Diego, then dead the next. It had happened fast and Harm would never get over the fact that he wasn't there when it happened. He was in London, following orders while he waited to find an assignment closer to San Diego or retire if the first option failed after six months. His six months were up and he hadn't made any decision.

Inside the apartment, he hung his coat and cap to dry and headed for the living room. His answering machine was blinking. He hadn't checked it for two days and decided that it was time.

"Hi, it's me. It's almost been a week. Call me." Beep! "Hi, it's me again. We can't fix this if you won't talk to me. Call me." Beep! "Harm, it's your mother. I haven't heard from you lately. Sarah says that you don't call her either. I hope you'll call soon because we're worried." Beep!

A sound coming from the kitchen made him turn abruptly. In the doorway, the source of his lack of sleep stood with a half-smile on her face, arms crossed, leaning towards the door frame.

"You don't call, you don't write.."

"Mac?" he resisted the urge to walk over and kiss her.

"I had to come," she pushed off the doorframe. "I had to know that you were doing okay. You won't talk to me about Mattie. I know you're hurting, Harm."

"How can you know how I'm feeling, you're 6000 miles away," he took a hesitant step towards her. "But I guess that's my fault."

"I'm here now," she let her arms fall to her sides. "I had to see you."

He hesitated, unsure about his next move. "I thought we were saving our leave for Christmas."

She stepped closer to him. "I needed to see you, Harm. I know we decided to wait to see if you could get an assignment closer, but this isn't working for me," she let out a sigh.

He froze. "You want to end it?" It scared him to even think that she wanted that, but he would understand it too. He had been distant ever since Mattie died. He knew it but he didn't know how to change that.

She raised her eyebrows. "No, I want to be with you so I took some leave and jumped on a plane. We're worried about you. Your mom, Jennifer…"

"How is she?" he wondered, suddenly aware that he hadn't checked up on Jennifer Coates lately. She had taken an assignment in San Diego and worked under Mac's command. She had taken Mattie's death very hard.

"She's coping," Mac shrugged. "It's been hard. On all of us."

He felt a sting by her last comment and let out a sigh. "I know and I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, Harm. I want you to talk to me. I want to know if this is ever going to happen or if I'm waiting on something that will never happen?" she looked questioningly at him. "Because if you want to stay here, that's fine, but I need to know what I can expect."

The phone interrupted them. He felt a chill, the water from the wet uniform he was still wearing was starting to feel cold.

"You'll catch pneumonia," she pointed out as he hesitated, wondering if he should answer the phone or not.

"I need to get out of this," he finally said.

She nodded. "Have you eaten?"

He shook his head. "Nah, there isn't much food here though."

"I went shopping while I waited for you," she motioned for the kitchen. "Let me…"

He moved in and kissed her. He didn't know much at the moment, but he knew that he needed her in his life. Ever since that moment in his apartment, before they tossed a coin to see who would follow who, where he had proposed and they had made love, he knew he needed her to be happy. He had been so happy about the move, being granted custody of Mattie again and the idea of marrying Mac, then when Mattie died he didn't know anything anymore. It didn't make sense that he'd lose Mattie and in the months that followed nothing made sense so he had done what made sense to him and worked. Long hours, weekends, diving into whatever would keep his mind occupied enough not to have to deal with reality.

"I'm sorry," he said between kisses. He needed her, he needed to feel her body close to his.

She moved them into the bedroom, clothes were shed as they reconnected. After, he felt exhausted. He knew they needed to talk but he was in no shape to deal with anything serious. He drew her close and let sleep come to him.

Harm woke up alone in bed. He wondered if it had all been a dream, but when he sat up he saw one of Mac's dresses hanging on his closet door. It was only 0236 in the morning, meaning that it was 0636 her time. They had been asleep since a little past seven in the night so he felt rested. He was starving so he got out of bed, slipped on boxers, and went to look for Mac. He found her in the kitchen. She was by the counter, her computer in front of her.

"A little late in the night to work, huh?" he smiled sheepishly as he stepped into the kitchen.

"Actually, it's a little late in the morning for me," she turned fully to him.

She was clad in one of his shirts. Only his shirt. Buttoned low enough that it left very little to the imagination. He moved in and kissed her softly. "Have you eaten?"

"Oatmeal," she smiled and moved her arms around his waist, running her hands up his back. "There's more."

"I'm starving," he moved in between her thighs and kissed her again. "Don't work," he pushed the computer away. "Come to bed."

"I just had to.." she giggled when he hit a very sensitive spot as he kissed her neck. "...check a few things."

"You're on vacation," he reminded her.

"Ah…" she hesitated.

He moved back to look at her. "You're not AWOL, are you?"

She chuckled. "No, but my leave was a last-minute thing, so I have to check in on a few cases."

"Okay, I understand," he moved away from her and walked over to the stove. He arranged a bowl of oatmeal and some water and sat down. "I'm sorry about the last week, Mac. I don't remember what our argument was about, but I'm sure it was my fault so I'm sorry about that too."

"It's okay, it wasn't a big deal," she offered a sweet smile. "So, does that mean that you'll be in San Diego for Christmas and will be my date to your Mom's party?"

Harm chuckled. "Yeah, I'll be there."

"It would be nice to be a real couple. Not two people being 6000 miles apart," she let out a sigh.

"That would be nice," he agreed. "And we will. We have to sit down and have a serious discussion about that."

"I'd like that," she smiled. "Can I check my email now?"

He laughed softly. "Fine."

She reached for her computer. "I'll be quick."

He finished his meal while she replied to a few emails. It was nice to sit together. It was comfortable. Like something, they could do every day.

"Are you going to the office in the morning? This morning?" she laughed softly. "Your morning anyway."

He moved around the counter. "No, I'm spending the weekend with you."

She put her finger into the hem of his boxers and drew him closer.

He slipped in between her thighs and leaned in and kissed her, his hands moved to her behind. "No panties," he wiggled his eyebrows.

She kissed him deeply, drawing him closer.

They slept in and had a lazy breakfast. Mac wanted to see more of London so they took a mini-tour, visited a few of the tourist attractions, and just enjoyed their day. They stumbled into a book signing and Mac was pleased when she had gotten her copy of the book signed by an author Harm had never heard of.

"You should read more crime," Mac teased as they walked hand in hand down the street.

He chuckled, delighted by her good mood. "You think so?"

"Absolutely," she tugged on his hand. "What's this place?" she looked across the street and to an old stone building.

"A bank," he studied the architecture of the building. "It's a nice building."

"It's beautiful," she let out a sigh. "Well, what's next?"

"Anything you want to do," he informed her.

"We could find a quiet place to sit and have coffee, and maybe talk," she suggested.

He nodded, then leaned in and kissed her softly. "We can do that."

They found a place and sat in a corner by themselves. Harm ordered coffee and a piece of pie for them.

"I'm sorry that I've been so distant since Mattie died. I did what I always do, I push people away and bury myself with work," he shrugged. "It's easier than answering all the questions."

"Questions?" she questioned.

"How are you feeling?" he said with annoyance. "I'm angry and I want to throw things around. It's not fair."

"No, it's not," Mac agreed. "I'm angry too, Harm. But if life has taught me anything, it is that anger won't make you feel better in the long run."

"I know what you're saying, but I'm not ready to let go," he admitted.

She nodded. "Will you let me be there for you?"

He smiled. "Of course I want that. I'll see if they can speed up my end date."

"Maybe you shouldn't?" she said thoughtfully.

"Excuse me?" he hesitated. "Mac, it's been six months and they still haven't found me anything closer to San Diego. I'll retire."

"What if I relocated?" she questioned.

"Here?" he didn't look convinced. "Mac, you're doing great in San Diego."

She nodded. "I am, but so are you here. And maybe my priorities have changed."

"Your priorities?" he asked with amusement. "You found a better assignment across the pond?"

She smiled cleverly. "Maybe I have."

"What?" He studied her.

Mac reached for his hand. "Harm, I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened. "You're what?"

"I found out a few weeks ago. It happened when we were in DC, but I was so preoccupied that I didn't even notice the changes. I wanted to tell you but I had to see you," she smiled. "So?"

"You're really pregnant?" he questioned, still unable to fully grasp what she was saying."

"I'm at the end of the first trimester," she confirmed. "I guess we did more than comfort each other."

"Wow," he smiled, then he darkened. "Are you okay? What is the doctor saying?"

"I'm fine," she reassured. "The doctor said that it was a miracle," she let his hand go and wiped her eyes. "I still can't believe it happened."

He moved his chair closer to her and pulled her close. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

He leaned in and kissed her softly. "I'm amazed."

"Me too," she kissed him again.

Later

It was late in the night but he couldn't sleep. Mac was sound asleep by his side. He couldn't stop watching her belly. It didn't make Mattie's death any easier to deal with, but it healed him a little to know that Mac was carrying his baby. His baby.

"Go to sleep," Mac mumbled tiredly as she snuggled closer to him. "I can hear your brain working overtime."

He pulled her closer. "Just mesmerized," he said quietly. And he was. Everything had felt dark after Mattie's death, but now he could see more clearly. In the back of his mind, he wondered if Mattie's appearance in his life had been to prepare him for this moment. He was thankful for what the young girl had given him and right there at that moment, he made a promise. He would always put his family first and enjoy them every day.