"They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!"
- C Joybell C.
Chapter 5
May 19, 2006
"What? Haley are you crazy?" Peyton asked, putting down the dish she was washing and shutting off the tap water.
Haley sighed. She was trying her best to maneuver the luggage cart while still speaking to Peyton. "Peyton, I can't right now. But I'm going, and tell Brooke because I can't get her to answer my calls."
Peyton stared down at the dish towel in front of her. "Well, what you said to her was uncalled for and really upsetting, Haley," she answered softly.
"I know. But I'm trying to make things right," Haley answered after a pause. "For everyone."
Peyton hung up the phone, looking over to her company. Rachel, Brooke, Nathan, Lucas, and Jake were all over. She put the dish on the drying rack and walked back over to them. "Haley just called. She left for Paris," she announced, putting her phone down on the coffee table.
All of them looked surprised except for Brooke. "What? Is she crazy?" Rachel asked.
Peyton shrugged and sighed. "And she wants you to know she's sorry, Brooke."
Brooke just rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
After a moment of awkward silence, Nathan got up, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Jake asked.
"Home to go look up a flight on the next plane bound for Paris," he explained before opening the door and leaving.
Rachel quickly got up and walked out the door, following. "Nathan, wait for a minute!" she called out, just as he was about to descend the stairwell.
"Rachel, don't even try to convince me that I shouldn't go. I'm going to," he stated plainly.
She shook her head. "That's not what I wanted to say. I just wanted to tell you to be safe and…don't break Clay's face when you see him. And I want a hug," she said with a smile.
Nathan smiled and walked over to Rachel, she wrapped her arms around him. "Call me when you get to Paris. I don't care if it's at four in the morning here. I want to know that you got there," she whispered to him. He nodded in response.
Nathan was the first to pull away. "Thank you, Rachel. For everything," he said before walking away.
Rachel stood for a moment, staying for a minute later, even after she knew he was already out of the building. "This will change everything."
After one more minute, Rachel walked into the apartment again, seeing her friends all still in a state of shock.
"Is he crazy?" Peyton asked finally.
All the others shrugged. "Maybe," they all answered in unison.
"Is he really going to follow her to France? She made it really clear that she doesn't want any of us interfering with her relationship," Peyton reminded them.
"She has to know sooner or later, Peyton," Rachel told her.
Peyton sighed. "I know, but Haley's in black-out mode, and it's probably not a good idea to confront her now. I just hope that they're both okay."
There was more silence.
"Do you think that Clay was going to France with another girl?" Lucas asked suddenly.
The five thought about it for a minute. Finally, Brooke, who was silent this entire time, spoke. "I wouldn't be surprised."
Brooke couldn't bear the feeling lingering in the room anymore. She quietly gathered her things and left the room. Lucas watched her in surprise.
"Is she okay?" he asked with concern.
Rachel looked him over once. "It's something that you need to hear from Brooke," she said.
Lucas was determined to find what that was.
Nathan looked out the window again as he waited on the runway for the plane to take off. He couldn't help but feel really anxious.
But why was it exactly? And why was he doing this for Haley? She had known her for all of about two months.
As he stared out over the dark Atlantic Ocean, the only light being that which reflected off the lights of New York City lost in his own thought, he realized it reluctantly.
This was love.
And if it wasn't, he didn't know what was.
He was in love with her.
Brooke rose reluctantly from her bed, her eyes rimmed with red and puffy. She wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone at eleven at night, let alone in this state.
When she saw it was Lucas, a part of her wanted to slam the door in his face. The other wanted to invite him in and tell him everything.
She noticed that Lucas was holding a brown paper bag. "What's that?" she asked, her voice shaky and light.
"The essentials," he smiled. "Phish Food ice cream, rag mags, and a bunch of Jake Gyllenhaal movies."
Brooke succumbed to a smile. Lucas smirked in response. "I knew I could get you to finally smile."
Brooke nodded. "Thank you," she answered.
Lucas set down the bag and looked at Brooke, who avoided any and all eye contact. "Can you tell me why you got so upset?" he asked with concern. "You don't have to. I just wanted to help you feel better," he insisted.
Brooke thought for a moment before shaking her head. "I can't talk about it. It's got nothing to do with you, but…she really hit a sore spot," she explained vaguely.
Lucas nodded in acceptance. "I get it. But you can talk to me about things, Brooke. I feel like we're good friends now."
Maybe even more than friends…hopefully.
Lucas looked around the room and turned. His hand was on the doorknob when he heard Brooke behind him.
"Can you stay with me?" she asked weakly, sweetly, and softly. It came out almost as a whisper.
Lucas stopped before turning around. He nodded and smiled at her.
Brooke turned away to get the things from the bag, a slight smile spreading across her face.
Peyton was putting away the pitcher of water. She didn't hear Jake's footsteps behind her.
"Do you need help with anything?" Jake asked.
She shook her head. "Thanks."
Both stood in silence for a moment more.
"Are you sure you want to stay alone?" he asked. Immediately, he felt a little stupid.
She shrugged. "I'm used to it, but I don't like it," she admitted. "Maybe after the baby is born, that'll change…" she thought aloud. She looked up at Jake, remembering his presence. "Can I show you something?" she asked.
He nodded.
Peyton walked away from him, making her way into her bedroom. Jake didn't follow her but heard the rustling of papers.
Peyton walked out a minute later, with a small piece of paper in her hands. She handed it reluctantly to Jake.
He took it and smiled when he saw it. "Is this—"
"That's our baby," she answered with pride.
Jake looked up at her, and it was quite obvious that she was glowing at the mere sight of the sonogram. He already knew how great of a mother she would be, and just knew that he would pale in comparison to her.
"This is amazing," he commented.
"That's your copy," she said. "I have like ten more in my room. I guess I was just hoping you would like to look at her as often as possible," she added.
Jake was surprised. "Her? Isn't it too early to know the gender?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I just always thought it was a girl. I think that it's a girl," she explained.
Nathan looked at the calling card in confusion. It had been years since he had taken high school, and reading was not his strong suit.
He just about followed along, reading how to call the United States and called Rachel.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hey, Rach. It's me. I'm in France now," he answered, looking out the window of the hotel he had rented a room in. It was the first one he found a vacancy in and wasn't that far away from the airport.
He could hear her sigh in relief. "How was the flight?" she asked.
"Long and I'll probably need like a day to sleep off the jetlag. I hope I can find Haley here, somewhere. It's a big city." He sighed. "It's one in the afternoon and I'm exhausted."
"I know, but you have to hold out until ten, at least, or you'll never get over it. And it's the city of love. That means that lovers are bound to meet by fate," she said with a smile.
He was too tired to make a comeback. "Listen, I'll have to call you later, Rachel. I have to look out for Haley."
"Okay. I'll let you go. Just let me know when you find her."
With that, the conversation ended. Nathan stared up, wondering where to begin, and enjoying the feel of the soft sheets. The hotel he had to stay at was really expensive. He wasn't complaining about the room, though. It was beautiful.
What was supposed to be five minutes of resting turned into a nap which lasted until four.
He groaned once he saw how long he had taken a nap. His phone rang, almost on cue.
"Hello?" he answered without looking at the I.D.
"Hey, Nathan. It's me, Rachel," Rachel responded. "I just wanted to tell you that Peyton spoke to Haley and she gave me the address of the hotel she's staying at," she informed him.
"Really? Great! What is it?" he asked eagerly.
"It's the Hotel Paris France. The address is 72 rue de Turbigo," she said.
He looked at the guest book sitting on the desk and saw the same name on it. "That's the hotel I'm staying at," he answered.
There was silence for a split second. "I guess that fate is already working away," she murmured.
"Did Peyton give you the room number?" Nathan asked, ignoring her comment.
"Room 721."
"Thanks, Rachel," he answered before hanging up.
Haley walked into the hotel room of the hotel she had found last minute at five in the morning. It was so beautiful, she knew despite her sleep-walking. There was a balcony overlooking the streets and it was beautiful. But she just couldn't enjoy the moment.
It was because she had always pictured herself being in Paris, spending the days, with someone she truly loved. And Clay wasn't there. Why should she be happy?
She fell back onto the bed with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. Before she knew it, her eyes were closed and she had fallen asleep.
Now, she woke up to knocking on her door at a quarter past four in the afternoon. Haley couldn't believe that she actually slept for eleven hours, but then again, she hadn't gotten much sleep.
She opened up the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She felt as though they were deceiving her. The person she saw couldn't possibly be there.
"Nathan?" she asked in confusion. "What are you doing in Paris?" she asked.
"I came here because of you," he answered.
Haley shook her head, not knowing what to say. She yawned. "Come inside," she insisted.
Nathan came in reluctantly. He looked around, noting that this room looked like his, but darker. Haley had the curtains drawn closed, and there was a dark vibe filling the room.
"How did you even manage to find me?" she asked, not even trying to stifle another yawn as she sat down on the bed.
"A little bird told me where you were," he replied.
She nodded. "It was Peyton."
"Sort of."
She sighed. "Why are you here, though? Because of me, I know, but more specifically. Why?" she inquired.
He shrugged. "I just didn't feel right leaving things where they were. I needed you to know that I wasn't trying to be an ass," he explained.
She scoffed. "You didn't have to follow me to France to say that."
"But I did."
He waited for a reaction. When she didn't have one, he continued. "I wanted to make sure that you're okay. I know about Clay cheating on you," he informed her.
Haley sighed and rose. She looked quite agitated as she paced back and forth. "What I need for you and all of my friends to understand is that I'm a grown woman. I'm nineteen! I don't need you or anyone else to tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't need a bodyguard; I need a friend." She sighed, bowing her head. "I was so excited when I met you, Nathan. I was hoping…finally…maybe I could actually have a friend who doesn't mock the person I'm in love with right in front of me. I just wanted to talk to someone, no judgment. I finally got that from you. But then, our friends started bringing you into this, and now you're turning into them." She sighed, aggravated. "I wanted one damn thing. I can't even get that," she said before sitting on the bed.
Nathan stared at her. "Haley, I'm here and all of your friends are here because he doesn't love you. I'm your friend and I'll tell you exactly how I see it. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything to make you feel better. In the end, you're the only person who's going to get hurt. Clay doesn't love you. And you don't love him, either. You think you do, but you know that there's someone better out there, but you're too scared to take that risk." He paused, looking her over. "Love is about taking the risk. Love is about doing things you normally wouldn't do. You need to step out of your comfort zone and look for something better," he insisted.
"What If I can't find anything better?" she asked meekly, the anger drained out of her voice, replaced with uncertainty.
"You can. I know you can. You're an amazing person, and anybody would be lucky to have you."
When Nathan said this, he looked down at his feet. He knew that looking at Haley would give him away immediately, knowing she was studying him meticulously.
"You deserve better than a boy who's going to cheat on you. You're sweet and beautiful and funny…" he began, stopping himself before he got carried away.
She was silent for a minute, trying to decipher whether or not he was lying. "Really?" she asked quietly. Clay never thought she was funny. Sometimes she even felt he thought of her as annoying.
Nathan nodded, looking up at Haley and biting his lip. Haley broke the eye contact this time.
"I need to find Clay. I need to set things straight," she announced. She felt a pit in her stomach and became nauseated.
She just wanted this all to be over with.
Brooke looked around the room, unenthused by the whole scene. Peyton groaned when she realized she was the only one doing actual work.
"Brooke. A little help here?" Peyton asked.
Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes, obliging reluctantly. "Honestly, Peyton, I don't care anymore. I don't even know why I should be saving Haley's ass when she doesn't even care," she fumed quietly.
Peyton looked sadly at her friend, sitting down on the couch, observing her. "You know that's not true. We're both Haley's best friends."
"A best friend wouldn't say something like that, Peyton! I was just beginning to feel good about myself again, and when she said that, it was like everything I had worked for was gone," Brooke sighed, sitting next to Peyton.
Peyton rubbed Brooke's back soothingly. "I know that what happened made you really upset. But Haley was there while you were grieving. Obviously, she cares," she insinuated.
Brooke was silent as she looked at the chip in her yellow nail polish. Peyton sighed, looking around. "Come on, Brooke. We'd better get to work."
Peyton got up and walked up to the stairs. After a moment of hesitation and a sigh, Brooke followed.
Peyton opened up Clay's office and looked for something, anything. Brooke looked on his memo pad and found something. "Peyton!" she exclaimed.
Peyton looked at where Brooke's yellow painted fingernail was pointing and her eyes lit up. "Is that a phone number?" she asked curiously.
Brooke smirked mischievously. "I don't think that's just any phone number." Brooke quickly pulled out her phone and began to dial the number. When she heard an answer, she quickly handed the phone off to Peyton, who reacted with surprise.
"Helloooo?" the woman on the other line asked.
"Um, hello. I was just calling to ask if you know Clay Evans?" Peyton asked, not knowing what else to say. Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes. Peyton rolled her eyes at Brooke's reaction.
There was a cocky laugh on the other end. "I wouldn't just say know him. We were practically dating," she said.
Peyton's heart sunk for Haley. "I'm Clay's sister. He's mentioned a lot about you, and I was just looking around his office, and I figured you could help me. His birthday is coming up and I could really use some help planning this party for him," she lied. Brooke silently applauded Peyton's save.
"Sure. I could help you out."
"Can we meet at one at Marcello's in Tree Hill?" Peyton asked hopefully.
"That works for me," she said.
Peyton smiled as she hung up. "She bought it. Hook, line, and sinker."
Haley was completing a crossword as she and Nathan finished having dinner at a French café. Nathan observed Haley as she filled in the final letter.
"You're good at those, Hales," he commented.
She nodded, not looking up.
Nathan sighed. "I know you're stressed out."
"Can you please stop acting like you know me, Nathan? You don't. We've known each other as long as Peyton's been pregnant. About six weeks," she snapped. She sighed before putting down the pen. She took a sip of coffee. "I can't do this now. I have too much going on," she murmured.
Nathan nodded, trying to understand. "I'm trying to be subjective here, Haley. What will you do if it is true?"
She tried not to snap at more of this. "I don't know. I really don't."
"Are you in denial to try and protect yourself if it is true?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know," she repeated.
"And what if it's not? What if we were all wrong?" he asked.
Haley looked down at the floor. "Then I don't know." She sighed. "Everyone thinks that I'll be so relieved if I find out that it was all a misunderstanding, but it's already nearly destroyed my trust."
And maybe it's already destroyed my life.
Nathan stared at her, thinking about it.
He changed the subject from the potential future to the present. "Do you know where Clay is staying?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I know he's in this hotel; that's why I booked it. But I don't know what room he's in. I'm going to go find him tomorrow; I'm exhausted today."
He nodded in agreement. "I haven't slept in over thirty-six hours," he admitted.
She nodded. "You should probably go."
While the two were talking, they didn't even notice that a tall, lithe blonde walked up to Peyton. She had jaded, yet sparkling green eyes. Her hair was a honey colour and very full lips. She almost looked like the anti-Haley. Peyton found it sort of ironic.
"Are you Clay's sister?" she asked.
Peyton didn't do anything except biting her lip. "I think we need to have a conversation. About Clay," she explained.
The girl sat down with a look of curiosity mixed with nervousness. "What about him?" the woman inquired.
"Do you consider him your boyfriend?" Peyton asked cautiously.
The woman laughed dryly. "Not that I think it's any of your business, but yes, I do. We've been seeing each other for about two months," the woman guessed.
"Did you know that you're the other woman?" she asked quickly.
The woman's face changed dramatically. She wasn't angry but confused. "That can't be true," she replied.
Peyton sighed. "He's a scumbag, but he has a fiancé."
"A fiancé?" the woman asked, her voice raising an octave. "He wasn't wearing a ring…he never looked like a man who was hiding something," she said, the sadness evident in her voice.
Peyton frowned. She realized that the only person who wasn't in the dark was Clay. Haley was being played, as was this girl, and who knows how many others?
"Are you…are you his…fiancé?" the girl choked out.
Peyton shook her head. "My best friend Haley…she's Clay's fiancé. And she's still in denial."
The woman closed her eyes and pressed her palm against his forehead. "I can't believe it. I'm the other woman. I could've ruined their whole relationship—"
Peyton stopped her quickly. "It's not your fault. You never knew. I'm sure Haley would understand. You know, if she realized what a bastard her fiancé is. But it's not your fault," she said.
The woman finally came to terms and nodded.
"So you've seen Clay here before? Hitting on girls?" Brooke asked, some disgust in her voice.
Evelyn nodded. "More than a healthy amount. He even tried hitting on me a few times. If it wouldn't get me fired, I would've to spit in that ass's face. Lucky me, I found a guy who's not a complete idiot," she said with a small laugh.
Brooke smiled. "It's good to know things are working out for at least one person. And you'd better hold onto him and never let him go," she told Evelyn.
Evelyn nodded. "Trust me, I will not let him slip through my fingers. But I don't think I'll have to worry. I found a Tiffany box when I was putting away the laundry buried in his sock drawer," she explained.
Brooke's smile expanded at the thought of a wedding. "Wow. Congratulations! That's amazing."
Evelyn laughed out of happiness. "I know I probably shouldn't be so happy. I mean, he hasn't even proposed and every other relationship seems to be falling apart. I want for Nathan and Haley to realize that they're right for each other. I don't know if you've seen it, but whenever someone mentioned Haley and Nathan was in the room…he just lit up. Like something awesome was happening at that very moment. I think it's love. If it's not…I don't know what is," Evelyn explained before she got back to the other customers.
Brooke thought about that statement for a moment.
I think it's love.
Haley raised her hand to knock on the door. She looked back. Nathan ushered her on. He was to stay outside if and when Clay answered the door. He was going to wait for her.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knocked lightly on the door. After a moment more of waiting, she knocked again. Nathan leaned against the wall, where he knew Clay wouldn't see him.
A moment later, the door opened up. Haley looked at Clay, who was standing, shirtless, and obviously just out of the shower.
"Haley?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice.
"Can I come in?" she inquired weakly.
Nathan watched as Haley walked in, abandoning him completely. He sighed as he looked down at the floor. He would always be a second choice.
Inside, Haley brushed past Clay. She saw the dishevelled sheets and a bucket of champagne. She felt a pit at her stomach.
"So it's true?" she said, the energy drained out of her voice.
"What?" Clay inquired from behind.
Haley turned and faced him. "Just tell me if it is. I don't want any superfluous story or anything. Are you cheating on me?"
Clay looked her straight in the eye and said, "No. Why would you think that, Hales?"
Haley breathed out, looking back at the room. It still looked a little suspicious. "Why do you have a bucket of champagne?" she asked. She knew it was a typical romantic drink.
"They gave it to me with the room. Don't ask me why Hales. We're in France, after all. Did you come all the way here to ask me that?" he asked.
She faced him again. She grabbed his hands. "No, of course not," she lied. "I came because I wanted to surprise you. And I have a surprise of my own." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie. She went for those additional reasons, as well. "I trust you," she assured him as she saw his skeptical look.
He smiled. He gave her a peck on the lips and sent Haley on her way. "We can have lunch together. I have a dinner meeting," he informed her.
"Okay. Can I come back in like an hour?"
"I'll just text you the restaurant and we can meet there," he corrected.
Haley walked out of the room, not even noticing Nathan's presence. Clay's face dropped as he saw him. Haley simply walked away, leaving them alone.
Clay shot Nathan a steely glare. "She didn't tell me that she brought a mutt with her," he sneered.
Nathan rolled his eyes. "She didn't tell me that she was engaged to an ass," he retorted.
Clay narrowed his eyes. Nathan stood up, getting off the wall. "Can I talk to you?" he asked.
Seeing no viable reason to say no, Clay allowed Nathan into his hotel room. He closed the door behind him.
"Why are you cheating on her? Is it because you don't like her body? Is it because you don't think she's good in bed? What is it?" Nathan asked. He caught Clay off guard. Honestly, he caught himself off guard, too.
"It's not really any of that. It's just sex. It's nothing personal," he explained.
Nathan felt himself getting more and more disgusted each passing second. "How can you say that? She's making a life commitment to you and you're betraying it. And for what? Just sex," he scoffed.
"Listen, it's not your life. I don't expect you to understand," Clay said.
"What I understand is that you're an ass. And you don't deserve Haley. She deserves so much better than you. She deserves someone that's not going to lie to her or cheat on her."
Clay rolled his eyes. "And who do you think that'll be? You?" He began to laugh evilly, making Nathan feel small. "She's so out of your league. The two of you aren't even in the same stratosphere. Haley comes from money and class. She's not going to settle for you. She's used to having a comfortable lifestyle and everything handed to her. She can never get that from you," he explained.
Nathan sighed. "Do you even love her? Just tell me, because whatever I say to her doesn't go through to her brain."
"Marriage doesn't have to be about love. It's all just a business transaction. That's all it is. People like you and Haley are so naïve, believing that everyone will get that happy storybook ending as you see in the movies. Love is just a state of mind. It doesn't exist."
At that moment, even though he was completely disgusted by Clay's character and morals, Nathan felt bad for him. He didn't even believe in love. "You're wrong."
Nathan proceeded to leave. He stopped as he opened the door. "And tell your French whore that I said bonjour," he said.
Clay rolled his eyes as a skinny brunette walked out of the bathroom, where she had been for the last two conversations. "French whore?" she questioned.
"He paid a hooker to have sex with him and lied about it?" Rachel asked incredulously as Nathan sat at the table in his room.
"Yes. And then he hid her in the bathroom for until after Haley and I were gone. I guess he wanted some afternoon delight," Nathan explained over the phone.
He heard Rachel gag over the phone and had to stifle a laugh. "Don't even let me think about it," she said.
"Rach, as much as I want to hate him, I feel kind of bad for him. He doesn't believe in love. He just believes in sex and thinks that marriage is a business deal," he explained.
Rachel whimpered at the idea. "That's kind of sad, but he's still a jerk."
Nathan glanced down again at what he was drawing. It was a white and purple orchid on some brown paper. He kept thinking of them and didn't understand why. He also kept thinking of pink hibiscus flowers.
"I've got to go to sleep, as I'm trying to wash out the image of Lucas and Brooke eye-sexing, but I can't shake it. I think I have to take a bottle of cough syrup and a horse tranquillizer. Maybe that'll do the trick," she joked dryly.
"Sounds like a plan. Bye Rachel. Be careful with that horse tranquillizer!" he teased. She laughed and hung up.
He hoped repeatedly that Haley would be okay.
Brooke, Lucas, Peyton, and Jake were all sitting in Brooke's living room, eating Thai food. There was an elephant in the room, and all four of them knew what it was.
"Do you guys want dessert?" Brooke inquired, being a good hostess.
There were scattered head shakes and "no's". Brooke leaned back in her spot.
"I think that I'd better get going. I've been really tired lately. You know, with the baby and all," Peyton explained, getting up.
Jake followed. "I'll help you home," he said.
"I can open my own door," Peyton argued.
"We can go home together, then. I want to call it a night, too," he explained.
Peyton simply shrugged it off as she and Jake both left the room. Brooke and Lucas watched them go. Brooke quickly got up and began gathering things and cleaning.
"Can I help?" Lucas asked.
Brooke shook her head. "I'm fine," she insisted. She simply put the dishes in the dishwasher and sat back down with a sigh.
"Brooke, I need to ask you something. Where are we?" he inquired.
"What do you mean? We're in my living room, which is in my apartment, which is in my apartment complex, which is in Tree Hill, which is in the United States of America, which is on Earth, which is in the solar system, which is in the Milky Way, which is—"
"I wasn't talking about that," Lucas said, cutting her off.
She knew that. She was just buying time. She looked down at the carpet, playing with it. "I don't know. I like you, but…I feel dirty doing anything with anyone else," she explained.
"Why?" He could read the look on Brooke's face. She looked scared. "You can trust me."
Brooke looked up. She wasn't distrusting of him but distrusting of herself. She quickly turned to change the subject. "I think that Haley and Nathan are being ridiculous. They love each other. I can't see why Haley can't just drop her deadbeat boyfriend and move onto better, more muscular things," Brooke said, putting the façade back up that she was a girl who didn't really care about what happened before. He knew that wasn't true. Lucas sighed.
"Brooke, you can confide in me—" he began.
"Can you please just drop it? I'm sorry, Luke, but I'll tell you," she exclaimed. "Eventually," she added quietly.
Haley walked into Nathan's hotel room with a box of croissants and two coffees (hers was extra strong).
"French Roast, two sugars and a splash of milk and a chocolate croissant," Haley announced. "How did I do?" she asked.
"Good. But you got the regular napkins instead of the biodegradable ones," he jested.
She rolled her eyes. "Shoot me," she teased.
Nathan laughed. Haley sighed as she sat down on the bed with her coffee, which Nathan knew was black. The notion of drinking something so bitter made Nathan want to gag, but he didn't show it.
He sat down at the table, while Haley brought her legs to sit cross-legged on his bed. She sighed in delight.
"Honestly, Nathan, I don't know what you all—and I—were so worried about. Clay is fine. He's never done anything bad," she shrugged.
Nathan looked at her sadly, thinking to himself that she was already in too deep. "Is he still hitting you?" he asked cautiously.
She paused for a minute, breaking eye contact. "It was one time. He was extremely drunk. It hasn't happened since," she explained.
"I know that's a lie."
Haley hung her head. "What am I supposed to say? It hasn't happened in a while. He got aggravated. It didn't mean anything," she insisted.
"That's what everyone says. And then those women end up running away. They don't even know where, but once other people realize there's something wrong, and only after they realize their children are in danger, they run. I don't want you to be that girl, Haley. You have so much going for you. You're young, you're beautiful, and you're smart. Maybe you're a little naïve, but you're still incredibly insightful, sometimes I think without you even realizing it. But right now, you seem jaded. You seem…different when you talk about Clay. You seem tired and defeated. You seem like you're trying to prove something, to him, to your friends, to yourself. And I hate seeing you like that. You shouldn't have to try with love. It should just…happen," he said with a shrug.
She sighed, the agitation clear on her face. "I keep feeling like I have something to prove because of none of my friends like him. And I love him. What are you supposed to do when the people you care about most in the world seem to hate each other? I can't control who I fall in love with. It happened by accident," she stated plainly.
"I don't want to argue about this," he muttered. He looked outside the window. "Have you gone sightseeing since you've been here?"
"Clay and I went to the Eiffel Tower yesterday," Haley answered brightly.
Somebody should've pushed him off.
Instead of saying that, Nathan faked a smile. "It must've been cool. I heard it looks amazing at night, with all the lights," he said.
She nodded. "I can see it from my window, off in the distance. It looks beautiful," she agreed.
Nathan smiled but really wasn't sure how many more conversations like this he could take. It was exhausting, holding such a deep, heartfelt secret. His heart was breaking slowly and he knew that Spencer's would likely crumble as well.
"Pick up, damn it! I spent good money I could've used on shoes on this calling card and I'm already pissed at you, you—"
Before Brooke could continue her rant, Haley answered.
"Brooke?" Haley asked weakly, surprised.
Brooke noted that she sounded very tired. Glancing at the clock, she suddenly realized that it was 2 AM in Paris and that she likely interrupted Haley's religious sleep schedule.
"Hi. Can we talk? I have like three hours on this card and all the time in the world," Brooke said.
Haley breathed a sigh of relief that Brooke was actually speaking to her. "Of course," she answered gently.
"You need to listen to me, and I swear, if you make one lame-ass excuse for Clay, I will hang up this phone and I won't call back."
Haley sighed, but said, "Go on."
"Alright, so Peyton and I found a phone number in Clay's office—" Brooke began.
"What were you doing in his office?" Haley interrupted. Frankly, she didn't even remember giving Brooke or Peyton a key.
"Haley," Brooke said in a warning tone.
Haley quickly clamped her mouth shut. "Sorry."
Brooke sighed and began her story over. "Anyway, we found a number in his office. Peyton called it, and we met with this girl. I don't remember her name. It started with a B…Britney, Bailey, Becca I don't know. Anyway, she was Clays's girlfriend. A girlfriend, Haley. She didn't even know about you. She was seeing Clay for two months. How can you deny that? And the bartender at this bar, Evelyn, one of Rachel's friends from New York, said that she's seen him there with a bunch of girls, and he even tried hitting on her," she said.
Haley was speechless. She didn't want to lose Brooke, but she didn't want to believe her, either. "I don't know what to do, or what to say, Brooke," she explained.
"Say, I'm sorry, but I'm not, take back your giant ring!" Brooke exclaimed.
"It's not that easy, Brooke," she said.
"Well, what's so difficult?" an agitated Brooke asked.
Haley fidgeted for a moment. "There's a lot more that you don't know about," she mumbled.
"Haley, I am one of your best friends. I know that you're insecure, and you feel like this will be your last chance. Wake up. You're freaking nineteen! You have your entire life ahead of you, and in case you haven't noticed, you have an insanely gorgeous guy who I'm sure wants to be the one to love you more that wants nothing other than you. And even if you don't think Nathan's the one, don't you think you can do better than Clay? He's scum at the bottom of your shoe. You can do better. Way better. You're gorgeous. You're smart. You're amazing. Haley, I don't want you to live your life unhappily. Everybody who is telling you that you can do better is doing it because they care about you. We all know you're going to be unhappy. You've never been the woman to want to stay in the house, barefoot and pregnant, while your husband has a hundred different mistresses. Why are you that girl now? What has he done to you?"
What has he done to me?
"You do realize that bringing a pregnant woman out this late at night is a bad idea, right?" Peyton asked.
"Can you just get into it a little, Peyton? Tonight, you're not pregnant or anything. You're not dealing with Haley and Clay. You're not acting like a mother. You're just being Peyton. You're just having fun while you still can," Jake reminded her.
Peyton found it intriguing how he made her feel completely different from everyone else. She just felt more carefree and loose when she was around him. Nothing really mattered, and she was content with that.
She dug her spoon deep into the remnants of the sundae she had gotten. "I want to, but I'm just really scared. Children are expensive, and I'm not sure that my parents will be pleased or very supporting of this entire situation," she said, looking into the paper cup.
"Peyton, I don't want you to worry. I'm going to help you. I don't want to be a deadbeat father," he explained. He sighed. "Can we stop talking about this? I feel like if we're going to be raising a child together, we should at least know each other in more depth," he reminded her.
She nodded. "You're right; you're right. It's just been on my mind. I'm sorry," she apologized.
'You don't have to apologize. It's an awkward situation for both of us," he informed her.
She tried to find the light. "I'm glad that if I have to have a baby, at least you're the father," she said with a weak smile.
"Hey, we're in this together," he reminded her, taking her hand.
She had to smile at this.
Once they finished, both of them walked back to their apartment complex, arriving at Peyton's apartment first.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," she sighed.
"Can I give you a goodnight kiss?" he asked shyly.
She nodded, biting her lip.
Slowly, and very tenderly, they embraced. The kiss left Peyton wanting more, but she realized, given the current circumstance, it probably wasn't a good idea.
"Goodnight," she said, before opening her door and walking inside.
Jake smiled as he walked away. He went to sleep easily that night.
Nathan wished he could say the same for himself. He spent a majority of the night tossing and turning, switching pillows, flipping them over, switching sides of the bed, and eventually pacing back and forth on the floor, looking out the window. He glanced at the clock, seeing it was past 3 AM, and he surely had to go to sleep sometime soon.
As much as he mentally tried to persuade himself into sleep, he couldn't do it. He found it impossible. He was beyond annoyed.
Why was Haley so important, anyway? Why couldn't she just be his friend? Why couldn't he talk to her without feeling like an awkward, hormonal teenage boy? Why couldn't she just be like any other girl he knew? Why couldn't they be just friends?
Because they just couldn't. He was sure of it, and he hated that idea. It hurt too much to love her. He wondered why he even dealt with being so heartbroken for Haley.
Because he just had to. Because she was Haley James. Because somewhere in his heart of hearts, he wanted her to leave Clay and he wanted to be with her. It was probably one of the most selfish thoughts Nathan ever had, but he wanted her to himself. He wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces if and when it all came crumbling down for her. He wanted to be the one to hold her during the dark days, support her through the hard ones, and share with her the good ones. He wanted to be there for her no matter what. He just wanted to share everything with her.
He shook the idea out of his head. Somewhere, he had a nagging feeling telling him that she wouldn't leave her fiancé. They met at the wrong time at the wrong place, and that was just fate being horrible to him. He hated that doubt. He hated that he'd have to sit by idly and watch her move on with someone else, start a family with someone else, love someone else.
He told himself that he was being selfish. If he truly loved her, he would want her to be happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. That was what love was—making sacrifices for the person you loved.
But did love mean that you'd sit and watch that person suffer? He worried not only for Haley's heart but also for her physical state. He was worried that one day, it would be too late to save her, and she would end up injured or worse as a result of Clay's vacillating temperament. He couldn't deal with the idea of visiting Haley in the hospital, or, even worse: her funeral.
He felt himself choking at the mere thought of it. He tried to push it out of his mind, but nothing was working.
He was starting to wonder if she really was driving him insane if that were actually possible. He felt like he was making up both sides of the conversation, and internally debating with himself. That wasn't what sane people do.
Right?
He lay down in bed, sighing. After deciding that was uncomfortable, he rolled over onto his side. He just thought about Haley, until those thoughts melted into him imagining a world where Clay didn't exist, and he felt himself falling asleep.
"What brings you back so soon, Peyton?" Dr. Reynolds asked as she walked into the room. Brooke was sitting in a seat, examining the odd models and pictures around the room. Peyton was sitting on the patient's chair.
"I've been bleeding these last few days, and I just wanted to know if that's okay. I know that if it's a bad thing. I know that if you're bleeding a lot, it could be signs of a miscarriage," she said worriedly. Brooke touched Peyton's arm, subtly assuring her that it would be okay.
Dr. Reynolds furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, how much bleeding are you talking about? If it's very heavy bleeding, that's not a good sign. If it's just light amounts, it might just be spotting," she said.
Peyton thought about it for a minute, biting her lip. "More than my period…but they're usually really light," she said.
"Well, I think we should look anyway, just to be safe. I'm going to use the machine on your stomach, so the gel will probably feel a little cold," Dr. Reynolds warned, not that Peyton seemed to mind.
Within a few seconds, they saw a fetus on the screen, and Peyton breathed a sigh of relief, as did Brooke and Dr. Reynolds.
"Nothing serious. You're probably just experiencing some light spotting," she said.
Brooke piped up. "Let's say Peyton never told me about her being pregnant. Are there some tell-tale signs that I could use to figure out if someone's pregnant?" she asked.
"Some typical symptoms include mood swings, eating things with no nutritional value, like ice, food cravings, excessive fatigue, and morning sickness. Those are the ones that someone would notice just by being around a person," Dr. Reynolds responded.
Brooke nodded.
"Are you suspecting someone you know is pregnant?" she asked.
Brooke shook her head incessantly. "Oh, no! I was just wondering. I've just been thinking a lot about Peyton being pregnant and thinking about what might've let me know earlier," she said.
Dr. Reynolds gave her a skeptical look, but Brooke nodded. Peyton looked at her in confusion.
"Anyway, it was great to see you, Dr. Reynolds, but bill Peyton because right now she's broke as a joke. Come on, P. Sawyer!" Brooke said brusquely as she dragged Peyton out of the building. It was clear Brooke was the only one in the world who had even a clue as to what she was doing.
"I can't believe you just took me to the Louvre. And you followed me to Paris. What is wrong with you?" Haley asked playfully.
Nathan simply smiled. He honestly didn't know why he had chosen to take her out for the day. Secretly, Nathan knew he was a masochist; a girl like Haley would likely never love a guy like him.
That wouldn't stop him from trying to make her happy, though. "Where to next, Miss James?" he asked.
"Anywhere. We're in Paris, remember? I want to enjoy everything while I've still got the chance," she explained.
You're going to need all the joy you can get.
Nathan sighed and nodded. Ever since he admitted to himself that he loved Haley, he felt nothing else when they were together. Nothing crossed his mind except, I wish that you were mine, Haley.
"I think I'm kind of hungry, Nathan. What about you?" she asked.
He shrugged. He really wasn't hungry, but he'd use whatever excuse he could get to stick around for a while. "I think there's a café like two blocks from the hotel. We could go there," he suggested.
She smiled. "Sounds like a good idea."
Half an hour later, they were sitting in the café. Haley stared out the window. It had started to rain, but Haley was still quite content, even though she was positive she and Nathan would get soaked on the walk back to the hotel.
"Have you spoken to Clay since you went sightseeing?" he asked.
She shook her head. "He's been busy with work."
Nathan nodded but wondered whether this vacation was to get away from Haley and spend time with someone else, or if it really was for work. He assumed the former.
"Nathan? Haley's soft voice snapped Nathan out of his reverie. "I just wanted to say thank you for being so great about this. I know you, along with all of my friends, don't really like Clay and I know what you think of him. But you aren't so blatantly rude about it. And it's really nice to have someone who can actually tolerate him."
Just barely.
Nathan simply nodded, not broadcasting his thoughts. Then, he spoke. "I know what I think about him. What do you think of him, Hales? I know you love him, but…do you think he's cheating?"
Haley broke eye contact with Nathan, looking out the window. The rain was falling in such a way that when you stepped out, it made a splash. The pavement was reflecting off the dark, gray sky. She stared at the way the raindrops, almost like full, plump tears from the sky, cascaded steadily off of people's black umbrellas. She was thinking about it, but she was really stalling for time. She didn't know how to answer that question.
"I don't know," she answered finally. "I don't want it to be true, but…I don't know. He's been so distant lately. What Brooke showed me was proof. But I still don't want to believe…" she trailed off.
"If it does happen to be true, you know that we'll all be here to support you. Me, Brooke, Peyton, Lucas; all of us."
Haley nodded, still not looking at him. "I know that. I'm really grateful for that." She stirred the coffee for the thousandth time.
Nathan wanted to ask what was on her mind but somehow knew that was probably not the greatest idea. Instead, he asked, "When are you going back?"
She shrugged. "I think I'm going to leave on Saturday. I'll look for flights today. We might as well look together since I assume that you'll want to be leaving soon," she said.
He nodded. "Sure."
Haley smiled, looking up at him. "You know, I really am sorry for what I did that day, with kicking you out. You're really sweet, and a really good friend."
You'd probably even make a pretty good boyfriend.
Haley simply smiled, pushing any other thoughts out of her brain.
So I think that this was a really long chapter as I had to try and copy this about seven times on Microsoft Word before it actually worked. It was a little over 8 pages long. Just a heads up the next chapter will be on the shorter side as it is I have it left off where I want it to end.
I will be back from my vacation with my boyfriend in about two weeks, the reason I am telling y'all this is because after these two weeks the posting and writing for this story will not be constant as I will be busy with my two jobs and those next few weeks will be hectic as I will be moving, so on top of that I will not be having any sort of internet connection for a good few days. I will try my best to find time to write and post more of these chapters on a constant basis but moving/packing is very stressful.
I know I left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger, but you'll find out if Haley is really that naive or if something major happens. By the next few chapters, we'll know why Brooke is so upset and is shutting Lucas out right now.
Guest: I know right! LOL!
naley12: Thank you! I hope you enjoy this one as well.
Guest: Thank you, that's honestly so sweet. I am glad you're liking how I wrote Brooke, she's one of my favourites so her dialogue comes very easily. Trust me, as the chapters progress the table will shift and so will Haley's doubts.
thibbs65: thank you! I do as well. Nathan will always be there when it comes to Haley it's hard to watch someone you care about and at this point love to be in pain. There's no doubt in my mind that when Nathan helps Haley through whatever she is going through, that her feelings for him will intensify. Nathan and Haley (during this part of the story the flashbacks) won't be together for a long while, and during the present time as well, but I promise the wait it is worth it. You caught on a little bit during this chapter, are you a secret mind-reader? I promise you she isn't as naive as she seems in the chapter, and I know Haley didn't necessarily call Nathan to rescue you, you can himself. That's still rescuing to some degree! Naley's first kiss may be closer than we think!
sandygirl: Thank you, I do as well. Haley was a bitch to Brooke, but in her defence, she had just been confronted by both Brooke and Nathan that her fiancé has been cheating on her and she was upset by these "allegations" rightfully so. She knew what Brooke was saying was true, and she lashed out and said something hurtful back to feel her pain. Bad judge of character? Absolutely. Not the best tactic, but they will make soon! they can't be mad at each other for too long, they both are like peas in a pod.
dianehermans: I know right! I love that Jake is willing to help Peyton through her pregnancy, and stepped up and became a father, it's not easy for 19-year-old boys to do.
Guest: thank you!
Guest: All I can say is that you're on to something, and clearly headed in the right path. I will say this though, Clay is not necessarily a bad guy, he's done some inexcusable mistakes but he's flawed like the rest of us, and it sucks to see him be this way when his relationship with Haley obviously means a lot to him, despite not being in love with her. Clay has a hard time showing his emotions and opening up again. It's not easy, and when Haley came along he thought nothing better could happen to him so he settled and decided to ask her to marry him, and we know the rest. I thought we could use a bit of empathy for him, especially as the story and chapter progress.
With that being said, I don't know when I'll update next, but hopefully, it is soon.
Thanks for reading!
Until next time! -Sidney