We spent the night in the common room, since there was no way any of us were getting any sleep. Fred and George had gone as far as forbidding us from going back up to our dorm since they wouldn't be able to follow. Even though Harry didn't say anything, I knew he also felt the same way. He still hadn't let go of my hand which he had taken after I told Fred about my encounter with Sirius Black. I had remained vague on my retelling of what happened, mostly because I didn't know what had happened.
Ron, who was still somewhat hysterical after his own encounter with Sirius Black had apparently woken up to the mass murderer standing over him with a raised knife in his hand. I almost found this peculiar after my own encounter with him. He had been looking at me with an almost awe-struck expression. I wanted to say that my reaction was because of the shock, but I hadn't been afraid at all.
The next morning was hardly better since none of the Gryffindor's had gotten any sleep and we all groggily headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the school was anxious to hear the news and were all seemingly waiting for our arrival.
"Marnie!" I heard Cedric's frantic voice calling out for me.
Harry was still holding my hand. He had finally let go at some point last night as we all sat around the fire but had grabbed it again before we headed downstairs. I was worried that he was blaming himself for my run-in with Sirius Black since it was widely rumoured Harry was the reason Sirius had been breaking into the school.
I squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly before he reluctantly let go and was led away by Ron and Hermione towards the Gryffindor table.
"Hey," I answered, hearing the level of exhaustion in my voice.
"What happened last night? Are you alright?" he asked, rather frantically.
But I supposed Cedric had just learned of the news this morning whereas the rest of us had been coping with it all last night.
"Well, I actually saw him…" I started explaining before Cedric made a funny noise followed by a pained expression, I think he actually whimpered.
"Merlin, I am so sorry Marnie. I knew I should have carried you upstairs," he said rather desperately.
"You wouldn't have been able to," I replied more calmly.
"I'm fairly sure I can lift you," he responded coolly, probably thinking I was underestimating his strength.
"No, it's not that," I replied quickly. "The girl's staircase in Gryffindor is bewitched to prevent boys from walking up. It turns into a slide if anyone tries," I explained, taking his hand in the process to try and soothe his nerves.
It was plain how anxious he was. But I guess that was understandable after learning your girlfriend came face-to-face with Sirius Black.
"Ah, I suppose that was why Fred and George were so keen that I make the attempt," he continued, a small smile fighting to break through his pained expression.
"Cedric, nothing happened to me, I am absolutely fine," I said, wanting to erase his fear.
This however had the opposite effect.
"Marnie, I left you around midnight. A lot of people had already gone to bed, including your dorm mates. And Angelina said I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I shouldn't have left you," he said more desperately, the anxiety rising in his voice.
Cedric always had a fairly calm and collected personality. This blatant fear and anxiety was alarming, even more so than after we had faced the dementor last term.
"Ced, I'm fine. And even if I wasn't…" he grimaced and sank his head down towards the floor. "And even if I wasn't it would not be your fault. Trust me, I'm a magnet for trouble and I take full responsibility," I explained, bringing my hand to his chin.
I gently brought his head so that I could look him in the eyes.
"Then I better be more prepared, so I can actually save you next time," he answered more seriously.
"You want to save me?" I asked skeptically, a little taken aback by the specific words he had chosen.
"Of course," he replied with an air of returning confidence.
It now looked as if a fire had been set behind his caramel-coloured eyes. I could see him bringing both of his hands to the sides of my face which he used to bring my lips into his. Instantly, it seemed as if the entire school vanished, and I was standing in a temporary void with just Cedric. The heat filled my cheeks as I brought my hands up into his messy, brown hair.
"Oi, some of us are trying to eat here!" we were rudely interrupted by a cranky sounding Ron.
His own attempted murder did not suit him.
I sighed even though Cedric chuckled into my lips as he slowly pulled away.
"I've got my eyes on you," he said gently, sliding his thumb across my cheek before stepping back.
"As long as I get to keep you safe in return," I replied softly.
"I'm not going anywhere Mar," he said with a smile, already taking a few steps towards the Hufflepuff table.
I smiled and waved back to him before spinning around and pointedly glaring at Ron as I made my way to my own house table.
"Ronald Weasley, you are an enormous prat!" I said with a wave of fury.
"Marnie, we all agree that Ron is as graceless as a dung beetle. But, maybe today we give him a pass," George said with a half shrug.
I was mildly surprised that the twins seemed to be offering Ron a rare time pass for his boorishness, however I knew they were deeply concerned that he had recently been confronted with the sharp end of Sirius Black's knife. And now, his stupid pet rat was also missing.
I then decided to silently pile porridge into my bowl even though I had no intention in eating it. Instead I sat stewing in my own confused thoughts. I was only interrupted a while later when the morning post arrived. Today seemed like an unusually busy post-delivery, but then again, I'm sure news had already gotten out about the attack at Hogwarts and parents must be worried. As if on cue, a letter dropped in between Harry and I that had obviously been addressed by my dad.
"Not it!" I exclaimed, putting my finger on the tip of my nose.
Harry sighed and rolled his eyes before obligingly taking the envelope from Caelum and opening it.
Harry muttered to himself as he read the letter, but unfortunately, I didn't think it said anything we hadn't already heard before. Dad had since stopped threatening to pull us out of school, probably because it seemed every few months Harry and/or I were being thrown into some kind of dangerous situation (not on purpose of course). Dad knew he had lost that argument long ago; we both loved Hogwarts too much.
I was surprised though when another letter arrived from one of the school-provided owls specifically addressed to me. I opened the envelope and read through the brief, messy scroll. Hagrid wanted me to visit and was offering to escort me this afternoon down to his hut. Instantly, I felt guilty for not going down to see him sooner. Hermione had been filling me in on the Buckbeak trial and I didn't think it was going very well with the defense case against Malfoy's father who was calling for the hippogriff's head.
By the time I headed down to meet Hagrid, everyone else was up in the dorms having a well-needed nap. The level of crankiness was at an all-time high, and I felt the need to escape.
"Hello Marnie!" Hagrid greeted with his big arms waving enthusiastically towards me.
I went over to meet him and followed him across the grounds, down to his hut. Once we arrived, Fang greeted me with his own friendly barks and slobbery smile. When I was sitting at the table, he laid his head on my lap while I waited for Hagrid to finish making some tea.
"So, how yer doin' af'er las' nigh' Marnie?" Hagrid asked concernedly.
"Oh, I'm alright. Better than Ron anyways. But no one got hurt thankfully." I replied, accepting the tea and a cake-like pastry from Hagrid's outstretched hand. "How is everything with Buckbeak?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Oh, as goo' as ter be expected," he said casually, obviously trying to cover up his anxiety.
"I'm sorry I haven't been down here sooner," I said rather guiltily.
"Don' yeh worry 'bout me. 'Ermione's bin helpin' me out," he replied dismissively.
I could tell something else was on Hagrid's mind.
"I wanted ter talk to yeh 'bout summat important," Hagrid started nervously.
I gave him a moment to collect his thoughts and was intrigued at what he had obviously asked me down here to talk about.
"Sirius Black, when I knew 'im. He wouldn't hav harmed a hair on yer mum's head. He was always so protective of 'er. I don' want yeh ter worry too much 'bout what happened," Hagrid said sincerely, despite his known opinions of Sirius Black.
Hagrid had told me before that on other accounts he felt very betrayed by Sirius, especially since he had spoken to him hours before Sirius had been hauled off to Azkaban. But I knew there was truth to what Hagrid was saying, and that he believed it at least on some level. This also made me feel more conflicted about what had actually happened last night. Honestly, I agreed with Hagrid. These dreams I had been having about my mum and Sirius were confusing but led to the assumption that at one time they were very close, and that he always cared for her. Then, last night, the way he had looked at me. With some sort of desperation… and sorrow. It's like he had been staring into the eyes of an old friend.
Hagrid later escorted me back up to the castle and I wished him luck with the upcoming trial. He gave me a big hug before returning back out to the grounds.
The reality of my exhaustion sank in as I ascended the stairs up to the common room. All of my friends had known I was with Hagrid, so they left me alone when I climbed through the portrait hole and immediately headed for the dormitory. I didn't even take the time to change before I fell onto my bed and climbed under the covers. I don't even remember falling asleep, but it must have been instant.
I woke up to the feeling of something soft brushing across my face.
"Aster, what are you doing?" I mumbled and felt around for my fairy.
"Len, what are you mumbling about?" a voice startled me and caused my eyes to snap open.
"Fred?" I asked unconvincingly, since I obviously knew the sound of my best friend's voice and this one was unfamiliar.
But Fred, or George, were the only boys I ever woke up next to.
"Wait, he called me Len?" I thought to myself, frantically trying to figure out the situation I was in.
Then I realized I wasn't in my bed where I had remembered falling asleep, or even in a bed at all. I was sitting up and had my head on someone's shoulder. It looked like I was sitting out by the Black Lake in springtime and felt the sun beating down on my face.
"Wake-up sleepy head," I heard the voice coax before I immediately sat up and looked over to whom I had fallen asleep on.
"Sirius?" I asked surprisingly, but it came out more calmly in my mother's voice.
It didn't seem like she had been all that surprised to wake up on the arm of Sirius Black.
"You've been up late studying again," Sirius said pointedly, but gave a lazy grin which I knew was making my heart speed up.
"I want to be ready," I said firmly.
My mother sounded confident, but this made Sirius' smile fall.
"We aren't going to graduate for another year Lena. Why can't we enjoy what we have going on right now?" Sirius asked.
"I am enjoying it. But I want to make sure I will get to enjoy my future. I want to be able to have a family and watch them grow up in a world where I am not scared of Death Eaters. I am ready to join the fight and I will do everything I can to prepare before then," my mother continued.
I felt a pang of sadness as my mother said this. I guess she had gotten half her wish, but she never got to see it. It also sounded as if they had had this conversation, or maybe argument, in the past.
"Lena, I want to join the fight as much as you do. For once, I feel as if I have too much to lose and I know my family will be on the opposite side. But Hogwarts won't last forever, and I don't want the Death Eaters to be the reason I waste this time," Sirius said, trying to keep himself collected.
"Well, not everyone has the luxury of being at Hogwarts. Some people are standing vulnerable on the outside and summer is not too far off. We need to know how to protect ourselves," mum said more decisively.
"Merlin, he is all you talk about!" Sirius exclaimed, sliding away from where I was sitting.
He was obviously frustrated, and his gray eyes resembled those from his Azkaban poster for the first time.
"Well, I care about him. He's my friend, and yours. Just like I'm your friend," mum replied more calmly.
I remember dad telling me that mum was never one for arguing, she always went for reason.
"Well, friends can be replaced," Sirius said seething before getting up and storming away.
I woke up with a start and was relieved to see I was actually waking up in my own world. Aster was lying on my chest and the sun was already rising. I gently moved Aster off my chest and onto the pillow before I got out of bed.
Now I felt like I was the one who had been betrayed. Everything I had discovered about Sirius Black this year had led me to speculate what had actually happened and whether he was actually after Harry, or me. Hagrid had even warned me that he might not be a threat and when I had come face-to-face with him the other night, he had looked as if he was seeking forgiveness.
Well, there might be a chance he is sorry for what he did. But I was no longer willing to forgive him. If hurting my mother was that easy for him back then, I couldn't doubt he did it again with the Death Eaters. I had to remember he was the reason Harry didn't have his real parents and my mum didn't recognize me.
I went over to stand in front of the mirror once I had gotten dressed and looked into my own eyes to see what they revealed. My orange irises looked as if they were heated magma instead of their usual, shimmery bronze. As easily as I had seen Sirius' hatred in my dream, I saw my own. In that moment I made a vow to myself. Next time I came face-to-face with Sirius Black, I was going to kill him.